The Sandeman Can..?

Mandelson’s Influence on Blair?

The boy Blair (Euan, pictured), is exhibiting chilling evidence of an unhealthy svengali influence. Guido remembers as a 14 year old tragically nursing a few bristles, before growing the luxurious affair you see above.

Leave it Euan.

KC : Fedora in the Ring “Its Time to Win”

His Fedora is formally thrown in the ring via the traditional Tory device of an interview with the Daily Mail.

KC’s slogan is going to be “Its Time to Win.” His pisspoor campaign website is up at www.kenclarke.co.uk

Odds on KC to win have been slashed from 10/1 to 5/1, after thousands of pounds in bets were made by punters this weekend.

Undemocratic Reforms Looking Unlikely

In a letter to the Torygraph six former chairmen and presidents of the National Convention – the Tory party’s ruling body – say the proposals to return the decisive vote to MPs are undemocratic and should be rejected.

It will be interesting to see if the wider Tory membership loathes Ken Clarke as much as the journalistic consensus reckons – Guido suspects not. Now he has confessed the error of his ways on the Euro they will be more likely to forgive his apostasy and be willing to have him lead them to the promised land of government.

You Don’t Say…

Research says journalists read blogs.

Guido has taken to putting excerpts of his hit-logs in the bottom right column, just so the next time somebody at the Guardian claims (after they have lifted a story without attribution) that they have never read the blog… well you be the judge.

The weblogs show that skiving lawyers, investment bankers, journos and public sector “workers” are the majority of readers. (Incidentally, would the avid blog-reader from South East of England Development Agency please just stop working altogether – the South East of England is over-developed.)

Trust the People…

Guido counts only twenty-one Tory MPs to have so far declared that they think the next leader should have to win the confidence of rank-and-file members. This democratic imperative may seem like a trifling detail to some Tory MPs, but it is obvious to those of us in the 21st century.

Apparently only to Michael Ancram MP, Douglas Carswell MP, William Cash MP, Nadine Dorries MP, Iain Duncan Smith MP, Michael Gove MP, John Hayes MP, Andrew Lansley MP, Edward Leigh MP, Barry Legg MP, Julian Lewis MP, Theresa May MP, Owen Paterson MP, Mike Penning MP, Andrew Rosindell MP, Richard Shepherd MP, Bob Spink MP, Ed Vaizey MP, Angela Watkinson MP, Ann Widdecombe MP and David Willetts MP.

No word from the rest… apart from Ken Clarke, who definitely doesn’t want to lead the party if members have a say in it.

UPDATE: Liam Fox says he is against the reforms. So 22 MPs are against them – any more names readers?

Bye Yeo (Again)

Guido seems to recall Yeo telling friends some months ago that he would not run, so how can he now in all honesty say he is pulling out to urge his non-existent supporters to back KC?

Portillo also came out for KC in the Sunday Times.

Normal Service Wil Be Resumed

Guido has been binge-drinking and will have all the News of Hypocrisy tomorrow.

“MY BOOZE AND SEX SHAME”

Jim Devine wants to represent Labour in Robin Cook’s old seat. He wants to carry on in the same tradition as Cook.

Shouldn’t be too hard for him. When Robin Cook abandoned his wife for his mistress she wrote fondly of finding him passed out on the floor after he had boozed himself senseless. The Daily Record reports Jim Devine yesterday telling

…of his shame over a string of affairs and a drink-driving conviction.

The union official has been selected by Labour to fight the Livingston by-election after the death of Robin Cook. And he promised to honour his friend’s memory by being honest about his own past mistakes. “I had a number of affairs which I regret…Temptation has been there and I gave in to it. I am not going to pretend otherwise… I caused a lot of pain.” He also admitted a drink-driving conviction five years ago.

So he is another drunken, shagger just like Robin Cook. Bravo Livingston Labour party for maintaining traditions.

Bonkers : No Joking

Taking time off from imagining he was running the country while Tony and Cherie holiday at Cliff’s place in Barbados, Bonkers Blunkett has had his lawyers fire off a few threatening letters to Channel 4 – warning them he takes a dim view of their new satire “A Very Social Secretary”. (If someone at Channel 4 wants to share the letters, Guido’s fax number is on the right!) No longer Home Secretary, he is unable to ban it as a Threat to National Security*, instead he thinks nobody should be allowed to take the piss out of him just because he fathered a bastard child by another man’s wife, and she wants to have it brought up by her husband, rather than Bonkers. Ouch.

It is of course no breach of the child’s right to privacy, but it will make Bonkers even more of a laughing stock. Ha!
*Translated : something politically embarassing that we don’t want you to read about in the papers. Like “What I did on my summer holidays”
©Tony Blair

‘Sir’ Peter StringfellowCAMPAIGN UPDATEEndorsed by Official Biographer

There has been some suggestion that Guido is not entirely serious in his efforts to secure a knighthood for Peter Stringfellow. Wrong, wrong, wrong, I have never felt more strongly about an issue. Peter Stringfellow deserves a knighthood.

Good to see that the Campaign for a ‘Sir’ Peter Stringfellow petition to the Queen has been endorsed by his Titian-haired biographer – Fiona Lafferty – as “long over due”. You too can sign and show your appreciation. Do it, and right this wrong.

Passing the Machiavelli Test

Thoughtful and accurate piece on Tony Blair’s mastery of the dark arts of politics.

Mandelson : Buggers Up Trouser Trade

“Well I suppose I better buy some whilst I’m here,
there won’t be any in Europe after this…”
This picture was taken in Beijing during the June 2005 trip where Peter Mandelson arranged the trade deal that has resulted in a Europe that has too much wine and not enough trousers. Which is a great strategy for a party, but a crap idea for the European economy.

Mandelson has taken a three week holiday whilst retailers and consumer groups go beserk at the prospect of knicker and bra shortages. You would have thought that Mandelson would have grasped that his job as trade commissioner was to promote international trade, not block it. His free trade credentials are now as threadbare as our worn out trousers will be next year – with Chinese trouser imports reduced to one pair of trousers per four Europeans per year – no really. His abandoned free trade rhetoric has led one pro-trade group to name him as their Protectionist of the Month.

Oh Mandy, Mandy, where did it all go wrong? Instead of strutting the stage like an international statesmen with the press waiting on your every pout, your legacy will be to be remembered as the producer-protecting, quota-chopping, bra-blocking, knicker-stopping trade commissioner.

Look at Me, I’m Sooo Young…

Rifkind is soooo doomed to fail, as Guido has said from the beginning. He is now going about reminding people that he is the same age as David Davis (57, Rifkind is actually 59), David Cameron is 38 and Tony Blair is 52.

So the old Watsonian Scottish toff, who looks like Krusty-the-Clown, is now keen to emphasise that he is a young man for the 21st Century Party as much as Cameron is keen to emphasise his experience of, err, erm.. drafting press releases. Rifkind willl be 63 come the next election, which is the same age as Howard was when he lost the last election.

Give it up Rifkind.

Beware of Impersonators

Since I am not a keen follower of Scottish political antics (enough of the Scottish Raj are in Westminster already), Guido is obliged to EdinburghSucks!com for drawing to his attention the antics of an impersonator:-

Mike Watson MSP also known as Lord Watson of Invergowrie finally appeared in the dock at Edinburgh’s Sheriff Court to deny the two charges of wilful fireraising.

The first of the two charges alleges that on 12 November last year, at the reception area of the Prestonfield Hotel, Priestfield Road, Edinburgh, Watson set a curtain alight and did so wilfully. The fire is said to have taken hold and the curtain, a curtain pole, walls and a ceiling were damaged “and the lives of the patrons of said hotel were endangered”.

The second charge relates to the same date, but specifies the Yellow Room at the luxury hotel. There, Watson is accused of setting fire to a curtain, again wilfully, and the curtain is said to have been damaged and the lives of those in the hotel endangered.

M’Lud was attending the Scottish Politician of the Year awards dinner on the night in question and there are obvious similarities with Mr. Fawkes and the 1605 Westminster affair even if there wasn’t thirty six barrels of gunpowder.

Watson is on the board of Dundee United, his third wife and was suspended by Labour following his arrest. He also held the position of tourism minister but was best known for being the architect of the controversial legislation which banned fox hunting with dogs. His trial starts on 5th September.

Guido knows how easily these things can get out of hand….

Haskins Has it Right

Guido holds no brief for Lord Haskins, but the furour around him giving £2,500 to a Lib Dem candidate who went on to defeat a sitting Labour MP is overdone. Blind party loyalty is a bad thing – we want the best representatives, not the donkey with the right rosette.

Haskins is quoted as saying: “Personal friendship is more important than party loyalty. Danny Alexander is an old friend.”

Haskins rises a notch in my estimation. Admittedly from quite a low level.

‘Sir’ Peter StringfellowCAMPAIGN UPDATE

Imagine if he was a black sex symbol – from his
campaign on behalf of the Commission for Racial Equality
No news yet as to which potential leader Peter Stringfellow is backing for the Tory leadership. As a generous supporter of the Conservative Party his opinion and endorsement will be sought out by contenders, of that Guido has no doubt.
As Guido has mentioned before, it is shameful of the Conservative Party that they have not yet proposed Stringy for a gong. His nightclub has been the venue for many of their events, Margaret Thatcher herself has attended Stringfellows. Were he a more boring captain of industry making widgets instead of the world’s most famous nightclub owner, no doubt he would have been knighted by now. Politicians are always recommending lesser non-entity donors for gongs. It is way past time that Mr Stringfellow heard the words “arise Sir Peter”. Shame on those who so enjoy his hospitality and support for not having put him forward yet!

The Campaign for a ‘Sir’ Peter Stringfellow now has a petition to the Queen for you to sign. Do it, and right this wrong.

Look at Me, I’m Sooo Experienced…

On balance David Cameron made a good speech at the FPC. He slipped in a few lines to address the issue of his inexperience – somewhat unconvincingly.

…For much of the last parliament I sat on the home affairs select committee. Following 9/11 we examined these issues in some detail…

…And as a Home Office adviser in the 1990s I know the awesome responsibility on the Home Office to get it right…

He has been a spin merchant and a drone at CCO before becoming a minister’s SpAd, prior to being elected to parliament a mere 4 years ago. Is that a thin CV for someone who wants to be PM in 4 years time?

The Lying Squad

Hat-tip: Robin Grant & Carl Remick

Cameron : “I’m Tough, I Am”

David Cameron plans a series of speeches in the lead-up to Tory party conference setting out his views. Today’s speech aims to cast him as “tough on Islamo-fascism, tough on the causes of Islamo-fascism”.

It remains to be seen if it will overcome his Notting Hill liberal image, which in comparison to Basher Davis, leaves him looking like a pansy.

[…] Read the rest

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Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

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