Question Time : Mrs Church Goes Paxo

“You have to sit on the phone for three hours in the morning trying to get an appointment because you are not allowed to ask for the appointment before that, because by making it 48 hours beforehand they are missing the Government target.” Mrs Church wasn’t the only source of trouble for Mr Blair, as the programme went off air part of the audience started chanting “Tony Blair – Liar” whilst Blair tried to placate them with security guards getting nervous enough to whisk him out the side exit.

Blair on Iraq : Move On

Issues that Matter, the Booing

This part of the blogosphere never shirks from covering the issues that really matter in this campaign, so once again Guido returns to the issue of the schoolkids booing Blair at the Lillian Bayliss School’s education campaign launch. Much argument centres on whether it was booing or as New Labour spins – “booming”. The video suggests that not only was there booing, but jeering and wolf whistles. Yet many comments on previous posts seem to be Blairites who are in denial.

A source close to those booing schoolchildren tells me they also sang: ‘Mr Blair, we don’t care, you’re wearing Cherie’s underwear’ until they were made to stop. Spin on that…

Thatcher Leaves UK

The Times reports that Maggie is depressed at the prospect of a third Labour victory in a row and has left the country after failing to take part in a general election campaign for the first time in 70 years. “She wants to see a Conservative government again. She is frustrated that is not going to happen, despite the Labour Government’s serious shortcomings and all Tony Blair’s lies.”

The depressing prospect of however many years of Blair followed by Prime Minister Brown and his dour Scottish socialism fills many with dread.

Guido wants to leave the country as well…

Blair & Howard : Majority Call Them Liars

Paddy Power Says “Its All Over”, Paying Out Labour Bets

Paddy Power are paying out straight Labour to Win bets already placed.

Fruits of Your Labour!
Labour swept the board in the last General election and we’re expecting more of the same this time round. Therefore we’re paying out on all bets on Labour to win the General Election with still 7 days to go until polling day!

Lynton would be pleased except for one thing, the Tories are actually going to lose.

Hat tip Political Betting

MG Ooops

Tucked away inside the Labour business manifesto, is the commitment to

“Introduce a new award for Phoenix Entrepreneurs to encourage positive public recognition for individuals whose first business did not succeed but who have come back, worked hard and built successful enterprises.”

Given the recent demise of Phoenix MG Rover, surely their choice of words is more than a trifle insensitive?

Hat tip: Thom Dyke

You Can’t Fool All of the People All of the Time

Q. Is Tony Blair a liar?

When ICM asked, 44% of all voters agreed that he was, two-thirds of Conservative voters saw him as a liar, half of all Liberal Democrat voters and even a fifth of Labour voters think he is a liar.
Gordon Brown, however, told reporters this morning that the entire cabinet had numerous discussions on Iraq, with numerous documents to consult, including the Blix report, the Jack Straw document, the six-point initiative, a legal document on the use of force “in addition to” the attorney general’s one-page advice. “I not only trust Tony Blair but I respect Tony Blair for the way he went about that decision,” he bullshitted.

What I Say “Three Times Is True”

“I have never told a lie. No. I don’t intend to go telling lies to people. I did not lie over Iraq.” Tony Blair

From the ministerial code of conduct: “When advice from the Law Officers is included in correspondence between Ministers, or in papers for the Cabinet or Ministerial Committees, the conclusions may if necessary be summarised but, if this is done, the complete text of the advice should be attached.”

The Cabinet was misled, it did not see the full advice. Well, lets be honest, would you show Clare Short or Robin Cook the advice on the eve of war? Of course not, but this is supposed to be a democracy.

The Campaign for Sir Peter Stringfellow

The Indy’s Pandora column reports that Tory vice-chairman Andrew Rosindell received a donation from a local company called Secrets. A firm of that name operates “gentleman’s clubs” across the south-east. Rosindell says “I’ve no knowledge of lap-dancing. The donation came from a Romford businessman, who wanted to help with a civic pin badge project. It was a community thing, and nothing political.”

Strip joints are all the rage in Tory circles: the other night, Baroness Thatcher, visited Stringfellow’s Club, yet more evidence of her good judgement and support for Tory entrepreneurs. Which brings me once again to Guido’s ongoing campaign for a knighthood for Peter Stringfellow. Were he a more boring captain of industry making widgets instead of the world’s most famous nightclub owner, I have no doubt that he would have been knighted by now. Politicians are always recommending lesser non-entity donors for gongs. I think it is way past time that Mr Stringfellow heard the words “arise Sir Peter”. Shame on those who so enjoy his hospitality and support for not having put him forward yet! It is more evidence, as if more evidence was required, that political correctness is out of control.

You can learn more from the great man’s life by reading his surprising and entertaining biography “King of Clubs”. Pledge your Support for the Campaign!

Nick Sheridan Westlake

Nick Sheridan Westlake emails. Nick Sheridan says “it’s an urban myth that my ‘real name’ is Nick – my first name is Sheridan – it’s on my birth certificate, driving licence, was the name I used at school, etc, etc, and unsurprisingly, it’s the name I still use now.”

And then it gets a bit more menacing, in language that I suspect not to be Nick’s Sheridan’s own, it continues with regard to the comments on the blog post (mostly made by LibDems) which basically went into some detail about some tedious local matter in Guildford. To precis;
  • He denies fiddling Oxford Union elections.
  • Admits only to standing for the Tories in Oxford
  • Denies breaching any electoral law in the 2003 Guildford local.
Fair enough. The Lib Dem’s Neil Fawcett tells me he was threatened with a defamation action which he would not be inclined to fight. Therefore the comments from the post have been removed.

But one thing Nick Sheridan Westlake cannot deny and for which I have incontrovertible evidence, he is the living embodiment of a vote-losing Tory stereotype.

UPDATE: So popular is Nick Sheridan that Guido has had to switch off the comments facility for this post, since some people seem to dispute Guido’s new chum’s version of events. On the plus side, a blog-reading fan from Carter *uck rang up last night to say sorry, but he just likes reading blogs, and didn’t think that reading from the office would cause so much interest. Office? In Spain? Guido assumed it was via sat-link from his yacht…

UPDATE: What a popular Tory boy he is, the comments are switched off, but Guido has received plenty of email about Nick Sheridan, below is a typical (non-defamatory) example.

Guido –
I was at school (and university, although thankfully managed to avoid him for almost the entire three years) with Sheridan Westlake, and he was, indeed, called Sheridan back then.

He was also, indeed, a cock.

John Band
Shot by Both Sides


Listen to the Jeering!

Boom! or Booooo?

Many thanks to a Beeb blog reader for arranging its return.

Tories Beat Zack At His Own Game

Zack Exley, New Labour’s spammer-in-chief, made his name cyber-squatting gwbush.com but the Tories latest email contains a link to www.libdempolicy.com where policy highlights include

The Liberal Democrat Home Affairs spokesman, Mark Oaten, says he is ‘absolutely convinced that prison is a complete and utter waste of time’

Simon Hughes, Lib Dem president, said too many criminals are sent to jail. The Liberal Democrats would impose prison sentences ‘only as a last resort’

We will put your taxes up

New taxes on flights could add over £200 to the cost of holidays for a family of four

And if you are thinking what Guido is thinking, you’d be right, at the bottom it says…

Promoted by Gavin Barwell on behalf of the Conservative Party, both at 25 Victoria Street, London, SW1H 0DL.

Boom or Boo? – The Truth

Lillian Bayliss School was the scene for the launch of the Labour education press conference yesterday (was it only yesterday, this election is dragging on). As Blair strolled in, the pupils greeted him with the unmistakable sound of “Booooo”. Looking down on him in the stairwell they booed as he halted and stared back up at them.

Guido has watched the BBC video of those 5 seconds over and over. Its special, the light is beaming down on Blair as a symphony of children’s boos soaks into him. This guff about it being some kind of hip street praise ‘booming’ is spin rubbish and one only has to watch the video to see it. Blair is being booed plain and simple, and he knows it. He stands and glares up at the kids impassively, what must he be thinking inside, even the children hate me, then in true Soviet style, his horror-stricken entourage, senior school staff led by the Blair eulogising headmaster and some older on message kids start clapping furiously whilst standing around him. This ‘spontaneous’ outburst can only be for one reason, the unscripted booing. Blair looks thoughtful for a moment, Guido wonders if at that moment Blair had an inner realisation and acceptance that he is detested, even by children. It would take a heart of stone not to have been wounded at that moment. One almost feels sorry for him. Almost.

Have You Seen This Man?

Sipping my usual ‘special order’ coffee in Starbucks on Victoria Street yesterday, Guido thought he saw a familiar face (given the special bit is a generous slug of cognac from my hipflask, I may have been mistaken). But the shiny slap head, the Aussie twang, it seems to me that it must be, the one, the only, Mark Textor. Here no doubt to help his old mate Lynton give the Tories a final Aussie style finish. Guido fears that it is going to end sadly for Crosby-Textor and the Tories.

But they at least put up a proper fight this time.

And 10 out of 10 to Saatchi for the audacious robbery of New Labour’s new campaign slogan. Labour’s pitch to the public sector payroll vote “If You Value It, Vote For It” has become If You Value The Truth, Vote For It.
Click to Enlarge

Is Milburn A Radiohead Fan?

David emails to point out that on OK Computer by Radiohead the song Electioneering has some pertinent lyrics;

I will stop, I will stop at nothing.
Say the right things when electioneering
I trust I can rely on your vote.
When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
Ha ha ha
Riot shields, voodoo economics,
it’s just business, cattle prods and the I.M.F.
I trust I can rely on your vote.
When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.

Oh, Carter-*uck

Guido’s Blog (Path) 26th April 2005

firewall.carter-ruck.com (Peter Carter-Ruck & Partners)

Islas Baleares, Ciudadela, Spain, 2 returning visits

Date Time WebPage
26th April 2005 13:00:40 5thnovember.blogspot.com
No referring link

Lets see, Guido has accused a few people of lying (Tony Clarke, Tony Blair, Sandra Gidley, David Blunkett, or fiddling their expenses in the case of Andrew Dismore, generally Guido has given it to politicians galore really). The defence has been they lied and it was true. Guido has been threatened with writs by a journalist and a few non-entities that never materialised, so this could be interesting. Wonder who has called in m’learned friends?

(What’s the weather like down south chaps?)

No doubt I’ll find out soon enough.

Bloody Lefties

Sedgemore is a grumpy leftie and we are definitely better off without him in New Labour’s post-socialist Britain. I told them at the press conference this morning I was “not in the socialist mould”, that will set them off after yesterday when we accused the Conservatives of departing from Thatcherite economics. In truth only we can be trusted with Thatcher’s legacy, the Tories are too incompetent to manage a modern free-market economy.

Wonder who else is going to quit? Corbyn? Skinner? Abbot? Please, please, please.

Redwood : The Invisible Man

Labour were having fun at John Redwood’s expense for missing the launch of the Tory business manifesto. His absence in reality had something to do with the bitter ex-wife, who really has twisted the knife. Calling him a cruel, stingy, bitter Vulcan seems harsh but fair comment to Guido..

Still it is odd that the LibDems are committed to abolishing the DTI, whereas the Tory policy is to appoint a bureaucrat for deregulation.

New Labour Unplugged is Live.

Labour Watch has come to a grinding halt, the LibDem who runs it is a candidate in a winnable marginal and has obviously decided to focus on voters rather than readers. But New Labour Unplugged is a welcome replacement and has replaced it in the links on the side.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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