The Recess Monkey Needs a Mate

The second most amusing blog for British political junkies is Recess Monkey. But this is not without cost for the poor blogging primate himself. The time pressures of campaigning, working and blogging means he has no mate, and its getting increasingly worrying. His needs are simple, as one would expect he has an interest in bananas and females. But alas, the pictured perfect girl with the banana spurns his romantic interest. Despite his attempts to woo her attention with frequent references to her campaign needs and his many posts about her on his blog, including a pathetic drunken denial – “NO – I HAVE NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE! I am pure in both heart and deed.”

Am I too cynical? Its getting dangerously obsessional – there are laws against cyber-stalking / internet grooming. In a last ditch effort to impress her he is now proposing to make the Palace of Westminster a politically correct banana zone. All because the lady loves bananas!

His desperation has got so bad that he admits that he has taken to hanging round wonk-filled think-tanks looking for girls. Its evidently reached total crisis point, on Sunday he went so far as to go on national radio to broadcast his plea for female company.

Guido (virile but married incidentally, with an heir on the way) fears for the poor monkey, where will it end? Monkey needs loving!

UPDATE : He’s now got Linda Perham MP to propose an EDM on Bananas to impress Ms Banana Link. He’s arranging a photo-opportunity as well… Monkey – let it go son, there’s plenty more bananas on the tree.

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Quote of the Day

Dominic Raab wrote in his letter of resignation…

“This is, at its heart, a matter of public trust,” he told the PM, concluding: “I cannot reconcile the terms of the proposed deal with the promises we made to the country in our manifesto at the last election… I believe that the regulatory regime proposed for Northern Ireland presents a very real threat to the integrity of the United Kingdom. I cannot support an indefinite backstop arrangement, where the EU holds a veto over our ability to exit…”


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