Where is Hartlepool? Doesn’t matter. How will Howard spin out of this? The Tory – UKIP nightmare continues, as the SDP were to Labour, so the UKIP will be to the Tories.

Drunk, watching TV so you don’t have to:

Labour : gloating – looks like the local car salesman – but it was a closer thing than he liked. “VW’s are very reliable…” Did I mishear him?

Libs – when SKY told her “if this was repeated in the general election Liberals would have 300 seats” it looked like she was going to orgasm!

UKIP – smiling, could hear the Jaws theme tune playing in the background, dun dun, dun dun, dun dun…

Tory – choked – no safe seat for you I’m afraid

Fathers4Justice – morons on TV chanting – deservedly no access