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You’re either in front of Guido, or you are behind…
The Labour Party is ramping up its Christmas merchandise drive with new “Win ’24” Christmas baubles, or, as it calls them: “3D spherical eco-ration tree decorations completely made from recycled materials“. It is technically possible for Sunak to stick it out until January 2025…
The merch department has brought back its “Sparkle with Starmer” t-shirt and urges festive purchases for the whole family because every contribution “brings us closer to the ultimate gift: a Labour government“. Not quite as creative as the Tories’ Thatcher-themed Christmas collection…
It’s the third anniversary of the lockdown birthday bash in the Commons – a party Guido revealed this summer, hosted by Commons Deputy Speaker Eleanor Laing for her dear friend Anne Jenkin. Bernard Jenkin, of Liaison and Privileges Committee fame, attended the celebration. As if it were fate, on the same day three years later, it’s confirmed that Jenkin is under investigation by Parliament’s Standards Commissioner. He won’t be celebrating now…
The Met closed its investigation today, informing the partygoers that there will be no further action – something that many will consider unfairly lenient. Consequently, the Standards Commissioner can now commence its own inquiry. Last year, Jenkin voted to expel Boris Johnson from Parliament over his partygate scandal, asserting to the Privilege Committee, “the rules were clear—they were there for everyone, and no one is above the law.” Following our scoop, Boris sent Guido a statement, urging Jenkin to resign over the matter. He’ll be waiting with bated breath for the Commissioner’s conclusion…
Read the Met’s statement in full below:
GoPro-clad cycling crusader Jeremy Vine has posted a video this week mocking a driver for going the wrong way down a one-way road and calling him “shite” and an “arrogant clown“. Funny that – it seems as though Jeremy has himself been flagrantly violating the same road laws. Something about glass houses comes to mind…
At around midday on Saturday 25th November a co-conspirator in Chiswick snapped Vine going straight past two no-entry signs and onto a one-way road while riding his penny farthing. Vine ploughed past the large signs and continued towards young families with children on the one-way section of Devonshire Road. Wheelie dangerous…
You can just make out the protruding figure of Vine wearing his furry helmet. The road markings and no-entry signs are easier to see – ignoring them would be classed under the Road Traffic Act 1988 as driving“without due care and attention”. With this caper Vine’s anti-motorist Twitter campaigning might fall a little flat…
It looks like Rishi left his keys inside when he popped out of No 10 for a photo op with Mark Rutte on Wednesday. They both had a good look around for them before getting let back in…
Following Whitehall civil servants being told to cap shirking from home to two days a week, it seems that the Scots will be following suit, though not quite to the same extent. Scottish civil servants are complaining of rumours that they will be forced to work in the office a meagre 2 days per week – 40% of their working time, up from the current one day-a-week. It hasn’t gone down well with the pen pushers…
While they Scots are negotiating free coffees for days in the office, Defra civil servants have been campaigning to work for only four days a week for a “better work life balance“. The bureaucrats are proposing a 20% reduction in working hours with no loss of wages, which the union says could improve “wellbeing and productivity“. Maybe they can take a lesson from the Scots and have weekly siestas instead…
