Where’s Gordon?™ 4

Benedict Brogan and Adam Boulton shout the traditional cry which goes out when trouble is about – “Where’s Gordon?™”. Guido suspects Gordon will stay hiding behind the sofa if there are still queues outside branches of the Northern Rock or the Alliance & Leicester this morning. If there are no queues he’ll show his “courage”.

The open ended government guarantee promise is unprecedented. It could prove to be insane. If the housing market drops dramatically, mortgage repossessions could become even more endemic than they already are, with the result that the government could be left losing tens of billions of taxpayers funds. Bear in mind that Greenspan expects double digit percentage falls in house prices. Of course all we know of the terms is that Alastair Darling says “his word is his bond”. (He also said last week there was no problem with Northern Rock.) Equitable Life’s unfunded pensioners know the value of the government’s implicit rather than explicit guarantees. Zilch…

Brown Bonks Bonce

Nick Robinson and all the rest of the Lobby will be in full-on pontification mode today in Washington.

Yet again it falls to Guido to get the important news: Gordon Brown banged his head against the door frame as he boarded the Presidential helicopter. Perhaps he misunderstood and was over-excited to be on his way to see Camp David?

Billions spent on the BBC news gathering operation and they miss the big story again.

Downing Street Sore Losers Ignore Scotland

Tony Blair has congratulated Rhodri Morgan in Wales. The Queen even went to Scotland to meet and greet the new Scottish First Minister. The Irish PM, Bertie Ahern, has found time out from negotiating his coalition to also congratulate Alex Salmond.

Gordon, ever the sore loser, has not had the grace to congratulate his winning opponent. So his own home constituency is no longer in Labour hands, his own country is no longer in Labour hands for the first time in half-a-century, but is that any reason to be so grumpy and graceless? He will have to work with the SNP when he is PM. Whatever happened to his new politics, humbly listening to the people?


Video report on GuyNews.TV

Brown’s "Engagement" Agenda

Jackie Ashley has a gushing interview with Gordon in the Guardian this morning where we learn that he really loves being called Prime Minister* and that
“Brown believes the days of political parties as ‘small organisations of people who are accused of talking to themselves’ are over. In future, constituency parties will become local hubs, building links with other networks and groups, and using new technology to reach out way beyond their usual supporters… There are so many different forms of communication – writing, phoning, the internet – at the moment we’re not doing enough to keep people informed and to show people that when they have a view, we’re prepared to listen to them.”
Over at GordonBrown.Org, free from civil service restrictions, and even the old clunking party bureaucracy, he shows us the actual proof of the sincerity of his internet “engagement agenda”.

How is he doing at keeping people informed about his exciting campaign-hub-network-thingy for Britain? Well their feeble copy of the original Where’s Gordon? has only 4 reports of his whereabouts in 20 days, the original managed daily updates. The thousands of votes for a discussion on the NHS are ignored, there is no discussion. The whole site is as dead as wooden rocking horse, it is an ex-listening, ex-campaigning website. His whole “engaging online” guff is all bullshit, he doesn’t need to win votes so the whole need to engage is just tiresome. Guido knows WebCameron and WebGordon is no WebCameron.

Gordon now has no need to listen, no need to engage, no need to win a mandate from his party or the wider electorate. He will assume power and we will just have to lump it.

*In under a month the preciousss will be his, the sun will be darkened across the land and the English will be cursed with a new Scottish tyranny. Probably.

Gordon’s Campaign Site

As Dizzy first broke (and Gordon’s people denied and lied about) the Silverfish owned site GordonBrownforBritain.com has been launched. It has as always, pictures of Gordon with children and a Where is Gordon? google map. A Where’s Gordon?™ Google map is not an innovative idea. Do they have any original ideas?

Here’s Gordon…

The Dead-Tree-Press in the shape of the Guardian’s Martin Kettle and even the Daily Mail have hopped on the Where’s Gordon?™ Meme. Particularly enjoyed this morning’s Where’s Gordo game featuring a naked Gordon- which seems to have been pulled from their website this afternoon. Did it displease Dacre?

The shiny all new GordonBrown.org and GordonBrownforBritiain.com* websites will launch tomorrow. Remember the denial put out by Silverfish, about buying domains on behalf of Gordon? Silverfish’s Mark Lucas claimed it was speculative, nothing to do with Gordon, they were building up a portfolio of internet domains and flying pigs etc.

In truth they were acting on the direct instructions of Gordon’s charmless spinmeister Damian McBride, to buy up websites for Gordon’s campaign. All will be revealed tomorrow. Guido hopes Silverfish come up with something better than “Dave the Chameleon” this time. Gordon needs all the help he can get…

UPDATE : ConservativeHome is reporting that the bogeyman will be doing photo-ops in Stevenage and Basildon tomorrow, the seats of Labour MPs Barbara Follett and Angela Smith respectively.

*There are a few others as well. Silverfish bought some of them off lucky owners for substantial sums.

Gordon Finally Sighted at PMQs!

BBC’s Daily Politics took the piss this morning with a “Where’s Gordon?” piece.

UPDATE : GuyNews.TV will have the Daily Politics’ “Where’s Gordon?” Jenny v Yvette excerpt later..

Brown to Surface on Friday?

Guido understands that after the meeting of the PLP on Thursday ballot papers will be made available and that Gordon will launch his “campaign” on Friday. Presumably Blair will be in Sedgefield Thursday morning to tell his constitutency the shock news. That certainly seems to be the consensus of the Lobby.

Brown will spin that his media black-out has been necessary to give Blair a clear run to the exit, not to avoid association with the Scottish election results…

Where’s Gordon?™ Epilogue

Guido took the time to graphically track Gordon during the Scottish election campaign just in case he tried to shirk responsibility for the outcome. It was intended to map for all to see his day-by-day close involvement. It says something

[…]

Where’s Gordon?™The Trail of his Scottish Campaign from Beginning to End

The author of Courage : Eight Portraits is, as predicted, nowhere to be seen today – unlike the last 30 days of campaigning when he was never out of a photo-op, usually well away from hostile voters

[…]

Where’s Gordon?™ Today

Hiding until he knows the Scottish result? Blair has given an interview, Cameron has given an interview, even Ming has shown his face. If Labour hold off the SNP, Gordon will be smiling and claiming credit. If they lose he’ll

[…]

Where’s Gordon?™ Day 30

Gordon is in Brussels and then going to Scotland campaigning, missing from PMQs yet again.

Where’s Gordon? tracks Gordon’s campaign trail as he tries to shore up the Labour vote. Yesterday he was, as always, at a photo op

[…]



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Andrew Neil on the dying Dead Tree Press

“I read more bloggers now than mainstream columnists, because they’ve got more interesting things to say. Too many columnists today make you think, ‘Yeah, I think you’ve said that 10 times before and I’ve just noticed your column has not go a single fact in it’”.

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