A Peer Named Sue

Another day, and another swathe of new peers are being sworn into office and £300-a-day expenses. Still waiting for Lord Howard of Transylvania, but the big question today is whether Gordon will actually bother to show up to watch his long-suffering aide Sue Nye ennobled.

Baroness Nye of Rochdale?

After eighteen loyal years in the shadows, keeping out-of-the-way of Nokias, and keeping the rest of the world away from Gordon, her boss repaid her with blame for his own mess and weaknesses. The public got to see it spectacularly once, but who knows what else went on behind closed doors. Eighteen years of mad, bad and dangerous” work?

She deserves a medal…

Don’t Go AWOL Gordon, Just Go

Gordon held a party at London Zoo on Sunday, he had another party at Labour HQ on Monday. He is becoming something of a party boy. He has even been seen smiling manically around Portcullis House and found time to meet and greet a visiting member of the Kennedy clan.

What about the job the taxpayers pay him for and the voters elected him to do? Nothing. He hasn’t turned up for a single vote. The man who promised in May to to get up every morning and fight for fairness every day didn’t vote against regressively raising VAT on the poor, didn’t speak in the budget debate, didn’t vote on the Finance Bill or show up for the opposition debate on jobs and the unemployed.

He should stand down and get a job he wants to do. Going AWOL is unacceptable.

Gordon Partying at the Zoo

Guido hears Gordon and Sarah have held another party besides the one at Labour HQ last night.  This was held at London Zoo in the Mappin Pavillion overlooking the wallabies and emus. It was a thank you for campaign helpers.  Sue Nye was there (without any bigoted women) as was Kirsty McNeill his 29 year-old lesbian chief-of-staff (a.k.a. Eva Brown since her speech writing days in the Downing Street bunker).

The zoo must be a favourite haunt for the Browns, the week before Sarah was there at an event as the guest of Lord Paul.

Incidentally, Channel 4 News’ Gary Gibbon has got his parties muddled up, it wasn’t last night, it was on Sunday.

Where’s Gordon?™ – Not “Humilated Enough” Clearly

With characteristically poor-timing, Gordon Brown showed his face in Westminster yesterday afternoon, just as the village had spent the morning digesting his less than dignified attempts to cling to power, as confirmed by Mandy in The Third Man.  Naturally EyeSpyMP spotted Brown-in-town first.

So what was the burning issue that brought the Rt Hon. Member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, who wakes every morning to fight for a fairer Britain, south to the Mother of all Parliaments?

He was all weird smiles at a drinks party in his honour at Labour HQ. Donors, Lord and Lady Prescott, Harriet Harman, Sally Bercow and the like were in attendance. His wife Sarah came too, which must have been nice for her after being dragged back up to Scotland. No expense was spared to honour the most unsuccessful Labour Prime Minister in the history of the party, though as a Scot you would hope Gordon understood the need for the cash bar to be in operation.

UPDATE: Tony Blair was not in attendance. Was he too busy globetrotting for cash or bringing peace to the Middle East. No, he was having a drink at Home House last night. Was he just having too much fun to pop over from SW1 to W1?

Gordon “Offered Professor’s Chair”

With the summer recess not far off, Gordon’s friends are putting it about that he has been offered various academic posts, telling the Glasgow Herald “It’s true he has been approached by several academic institutions regarding various things. None of these is settled or completed as yet. There have been approaches in this country and in others.”

Meanwhile Gordon is relaxing in Kirkcaldy, cashing £1,270-a-week, plus pension top ups from taxpayers, to rock in his chair.

Dave Shows Disdain for Gordon’s Desertion of Duty

In the Commons yesterday for Dave’s statement on the G8, when Harriet Harman asked him to give due credit to Gordon Brown for his work on international development, Dave retorted “I’d be delighted to, if he could be bothered to turn up to this House.”

If Gordon is taking the time to write his memoirs at our expense he should be ashamed. If he is in fact mentally incapacitated (cue howls of protest, but the rumours are circulating most widely in Labour circles) then he should stand down and take a rest.

Gordon was famous for his Macavity instinct – avoiding negative situations – this negative situation will continue until he either goes back to “getting on with the job” for which he is paid, or he resigns. The sooner the better.

UPDATE : Think last night’s vote on VAT was a three-line whip and Gordon didn’t care to vote. So much for standing up for fairness, remember “I will never let you down”…

Knock, Knock. Who’s There? Gordon!

Gordon broke away from answering the door at his Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath constituency office to briefly show his face during prayers in the chamber of the Commons yesterday.

His visit lasted 6 minutes according to Quentin Letts

Not exactly giving the taxpayer value for money is he? He never has though, has he?

Picture courtesy of Stramash.

Where’s Gordon?™ Chatting With a Kennedy Apparently

After some excitement this morning that Gordon Brown might actually be in town to represent his constituents the truth unravels. While he may have put a fleeting five minutes in the chamber, (making the number of days he has been in two out of a possible forty-nine,) King of the Lobby Gary Gibbon has what he was really down here for. A meeting with a Kennedy, a chat with Sir Tim Berners-Lee about his future employability and a natter with his old cabinet allies.

All wonderful representation for the people of Kirkcaldy.

UPDATE: Via EyeSpyMP we learn that Gordon has even brought his “wee son” to his day at the office. Clearly “getting on with the job” is his top priority.

+ + + Gordon Sighted in Westminster + + +

+ + + Developing + + +

UPDATE: According to Robert Halfon MP, Gordon entered the chamber briefly for Defra questions.  Jonah’s back…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Where’s Gordon?™ Obsessing about the World Cup Apparently

Once upon a time there was a man who claimed he woke up every day to “fight for a fairer Britain”. Britain may have said no, but he was returned overwhelmingly by one small part of it to represent […]

+ READ MORE +

Labour’s Missing Economic Genius

Labour are running round like headless chickens this morning. Alastair Darling has had a lie-in, attack dogs like Liam Byrne are nowhere to be seen, while Harman and the leadership candidates are all trying to get a look in. The […]

+ READ MORE +

Gordon the Scottish Dancing Monkey

Paul Waugh reported yesterday evening that the real reason the former Prime Mentalist was seen in public for the first time in a month yesterday was to disprove rumours (first reported by Guido) that were going round primarily in […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Labour candidate Clive Lewis tells the Staggers:

“I mean, in the multiverse there’s still three universes in a hundred where there’s a Green MP in Norwich, so anything could happen. I could be caught with my pants down behind a goat with Ed Miliband at the other end – well, hopefully that won’t happen.”

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