Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Vince at a Loss

Panic stations over at the British Library this morning after a doddery old man caused a security scare by losing his rucksack. A mundane every day occurrence was made somewhat more embarrassing by the fact the culprit was Vince Cable. Witnesses couldn’t help but point out the irony that at a press conference about protecting other peoples’ property, all be it intellectual, the Secretary of State was unable to look after his own.

Guido is waiting to hear back on whether it ever turned up…

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

The Sun mocks Cable’s “attack” on red tape…

“Way to go, Vince Cable. As the economy flatlines, the Business Secretary saves the day – by cutting regulations on the sale of chocolate liqueurs. ‘This is very radical – we are moving fast,’ declared Mr Cable as he went further by axing rules on fly spray and lowering the age for buying Christmas crackers… Thank goodness the Business Secretary didn’t do anything rash, like tackling the high taxes and red tape destroying enterprise.”

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Cable Drops His Bomb Prime Minister Neutered

Traditionally a Minister would have walked before accusing his boss of being “very unwise” and risking  “inflaming extremism”, but no such bravery from Vince Cable who has once again fobbed off to a female journalist. Cameron’s speech, to Hampshire Conservatives no less, is undoubtedly a bid boost his parties chances in the locals next month. However there was nothing new in the speech and it is basically the government’s policy. Did Cable tell his old chum Brown he was being very unwise when he said “it is right to talk of immigration and address people’s worries and concerns. Because if we don’t, people will listen to whoever does” a few weeks before the election?

Cable is bound by collective Cabinet responsibility and was already on his final warning for his loose tongue. Cameron’s weakness is exposed by his apparent inability to sack this liability.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Government Official Loses Bet on the Economy

This time last year an economist wonk at the liberal-leaning CentreForum took a dislike to Guido’s economic foresight. Deficit denying Liberal Conspiracy made a predictably over the top attempt at playing up the difference of opinion calling Guido innumerate, an allegation later quietly withdrawn.

Subsequently a wager was drawn up with the Freethinking Economist Giles Wilkes: a book of the loser’s choice would be sent to the winner. After a year of month-after-month of above target inflation announcements by the Bank of England, Giles, a good sport and former bookie, has decided to admit early that deflation just isn’t going to happen. In fact the realisation is becoming mainstream that the danger is quite the opposite, as Guido has long pointed out, of runaway inflation resulting from QE. Inflation is always and everywhere a monetary phenomenon. Guido doesn’t want to worry anyone, but Mr Wilkes is now Vince Cable’s Special Advisor…

Friday, December 24, 2010

The Truth Shall Set You free

Vince is whining that “…somebody who isn’t a constituent falsifies their name and address and comes in with a hidden microphone – it completely undermines the whole basis on which you operate as a local MP.” Does it really undermine the operation of an MP? If you are duplicitously two-faced, saying different things to different people it will undermine your standard operational procedure – lying.

As with Wikileaks people may have reservations about the manner in which the truth comes out, but one thing Guido is certain about: it is better that we the people know the truth. The political class treats voters like children who need to be shielded from the truth for their own good, making high-minded Platonic claims to “noble lies” when in reality they are too afraid of the personal consequences of living in truth. The truth will set us free…

UPDATE : Guido ran a survey when the Telegraph story came out asking, Could Cable Bring Down the Coalition? 4,217 politically savvy readers were polled, a whopping 89.85% said “No” and only 7.9% reckoned he could.

Methinks Cable is a bit vain in thinking he could bring down the government…

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Old Uncle Vince Ruins Coalition Christmas

It seems all it takes is a fake beard and a pair of sandals to get old Vince chatting away about his delusions of grandeur. The Business Secretary has been stung by the Telegraph’s Holly Watt and Heidi Blake, posing as LibDem activists and shown himself to be a vain old fool:

“Can I be very frank with you, and I am not expecting you to quote this outside. I have a nuclear option, it’s like fighting a war. They know I have nuclear weapons, but I don’t have any conventional weapons. If they push me too far then I can walk out of the government and bring the government down and they know that.”

Lord knows what nonsense he  would say after a couple of sherries…

Downing Street has put the boot in and the old man has admitted he is “embarrassed” by his comments. It might come as a bit of a shock to the  man who predicted seventeen of the last three recessions if he does one day decide to quit. Guido doesn’t think there would be quite the fall out the once revered “sage” likes to think…

UPDATE: At least Telegraph’s top totty Heidi Blake is trying a little harder with her stitch ups these days. Guido can’t think why Cable would be so chatty.  You have to laugh at the fact Clegg and Cameron are giving their end of year joint press conference today. Perfect timing from Vince. The more Guido thinks about it the more he thinks Cable should be sacked. Yes he was claiming to speak the truth, but if he is not prepared to do that publicly how can anyone trust him? It would be the ultimate way to prove him wrong…

UPDATE II: Money is pouring in on Cable to go, sadly more likely to be an element of wishful fluttering.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Spivgate

The fallout from Cable’s speech seems to be overshadowing Clegg’s big day out at the UN. Once again “the sage” is the LibDem everyone is talking about. Describing those that work in finance as “spivs” has caused some consternation and outrage in the City, but was lapped up in the hall of course. Sky News gave Clegg a hammering over it and he very clearly did not defend Cable’s words. A better line of questioning would have been whether Clegg thought his brother was a spiv, or his dad, or David Cameron’s late father was a spiv, or LibDem’s donors, or David Laws. The list goes on…

Confused Old Socialism

Vince Cable opened with “comrades” as he took to the podium. He is aiming for the room rather than the real world and will no doubt reference the fact he predicted seventeen of the last three recessions. The business world has pricked up its ears at their biggest bashing since the 70s and who can blame them. A cabinet minister saying “capitalism takes no prisoners and it kills competition where it can” is enough to send a shiver down the spine and should serve as a reminder of just how barking and dangerous Cable is. Though funny we never heard the old sage decrying “unrestrained capitalism” and corporate greed when he was cooking the numbers for Shell…

Monday, August 9, 2010

The Fable Digs In

In a first since the formation of the coalition, Vince Cable has had what could be described as a good day. Well he seems to have got his own way for once at least. Despite the idea being “Miltoned” previously by Downing Street, it now looks as if Cable’s plans for taxing successful graduates have been given the nod. Apparently taxing aspiration is making Britain “fairer”. No wonder he had some nice things to say about his bosses today:

But the big surprise, which in some ways is a pleasant surprise, is that the coalition does actually work. Personal relationships are very good, very businesslike. Having worked with the Tories, at close quarters, I’ve been pleasantly surprised that they’re not as I’d envisaged them.”

You could have fooled Guido. Cable has been walking around looking physically pained by his predicament. Rumours are circulating that he threatened to resign if his tax plan was rejected – perhaps he would have ended up back in Labour. It would not have been a fatal blow to the government though. Is placating this increasingly doddery old crypto-socialist really worth burdening the next generation with even more crippling debt?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Vince and Norman, Now and Then

There were some raised eyebrows on the left when Vince Cable was eye-spied laughing merrily on College Green with former Chancellor Norman Lamont.

But this was no one-off encounter. These two go way back and were both President of the Cambridge Union – “We’re all in tails together.”

So it seems not every Tory gives Vince that pained expression.


Seen Elsewhere

NUT’s Loony Defence of Status Quo | Jago Pearson
A Dozen Reasons to Be Cheerful | John McTernan
Political Bloggers Are Equal Opportunities Attackers | ConHome
Michael Gove Should Resign | Conservative Women
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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