Monday, October 13, 2014

Cable Doubles His Spin Team and Charges Us £120,000

It must be tough spinning for the curmudgeonly old Vince Cable. So hard in fact that he’s had to hire not one but two media handlers at a cost of over £120,000 to the taxpayer. BIS are seeking “two highly motivated, strategic and news savvy and politically astute” deputy heads of news to fill what was once a single job. Cable polishing skills essential for your £56,000…

Friday, June 20, 2014

Cable Finally Declares £6,000 Clegg Plot Poll Gift

Four days after the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards announced she would be launching an inquiry into Vince Cable’s failure to declare the Lord Oakeshott poll in his constituency as a gift, this entry appears in the Business Secretary’s Register of Interests:

Name of donor: Lord Oakeshott
Address of donor: private
Amount of donation or nature and value if donation in kind: conducting a local opinion poll, value £6,000
Donor status: individual

Tessa Munt has still failed to declare the poll in her constituency. Oops.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Cable and Munt Face Inquiry Over Clegg Plot Polls

A spokesperson for the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner has confirmed that they have launched an investigation into whether Vince Cable broke Commons rules by failing to declare the Oakeshott poll in his constituency. The BBC reports that an inquiry has also begun looking at whether Tessa Munt, Cable’s PPS, should have declared a poll by Oakeshott in her own constituency as a gift in her register of interests. Won’t be an easy one for either of them to explain…

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Clegg and Cable Awkward Morning Drinking Session

Things have got so bad for the LibDems that they have had to turn to the booze at 11am in the morning. Either that, or Clegg is a little late to the Farage magic. If you can’t debate him, join him…

cab2

There hasn’t been a LibDem leader in the pub this early since Charlie Kennedy was in charge…

Via @theousherwood

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Six of Cable’s Twickenham LibDems Back Plot to Oust Clegg

What do the LibDems pictured above have in common? Well, for starters they are all councillors or council candidates in Vince Cable’s constituency of Twickenham, all featured on his local LibDem website. Here are their names from left to right:

Susan Burningham - council candidate in Twickenham Riverside
Roger Crouch – council candidate in Twickenham Riverside
Ben Khosa - councillor in St Margaret’s & North Twickenham
Jonathan Cardy - councillor in Fulwell & Hampton Hill
John Coombs - councillor in Heathfield
Arnie Gibbons - ex-councillor in Whitton

What else do they have in common? They have all signed the LibDems4Change petition organised by anti-Clegg plotters calling on their leader to resign. Six key figures in Vince Cable’s local party are signed up members of the public plot to oust Clegg. Mathematically improbable when you consider that only 1% of the party membership is publicly backing the putsch. By coincidence Lord Oakeshott was in Twickenham as recently as Monday last week. Presumably Vince will tell us he knows nothing about this either…

Cable’s Meeting With “Impossible” Oakeshott Four Weeks Ago

Matthew Oakeshott said in his characteristically low key resignation statement that he told Vince Cable about the results of his four secret polls “several weeks ago”, something that the beleaguered Business Secretary denies. We know, however, that the two did meet exactly one month ago today:

Hiding in public view.

As Baroness Kramer told Newsnight last night: “When Matthew gets a political ideal in his head, he’s impossible”. Are we really expected to believe that at a face to face meeting, Oakeshott did not tell his old mucker Vince about his expensive polling? ICM polled Sheffield Hallam the very next day. Guido knows whose version of events he believes…

Monday, May 12, 2014

Doddery Old Vince Fails to Grasp Royal Mail Basics

What could be worse than hearing something come through your letterbox and seeing that it is just some campaign material from Vince Cable? How about the fact that the Business Secretary had posted it stamp-less so you have to fork out the £1.53 unpaid postage to the postman. You might have sold Royal Mail Vince, but you still have to put a stamp on it…

Via The Backbencher.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

SKETCH: Hannibal Fallon

A sacrificial session with Adrian Bailey and the Royal Mail – it went on well into lunch. I must have lost a pound. The tax payer lost 750 million of them.

The session wasn’t a grilling – these things never are – but there was grinding. Some battering from Brian Binley, urbane argumentation from the witnesses, the chairman well out of his habitat.

Poor fellow, head of the Business committee. He looks like a rough sleeper on a 99 Per Cent demo. Up against people who spend more on lunch than he earns. They live in a different world and speak many other languages than his.

Even the Royal Mail ministers – who, to say the least, appear to be in a vulnerable position – are beyond his reach.

He told Michael Fallon that the shares were under-valued at sale. Fallon – with imperturbable daring – replied, “I haven’t seen any evidence they were undervalued,” and added brilliantly: “Have you?”

(more…)

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Another LibDem Sex Scandal?

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Vince Flirts With Labour, Again

Poor old Vince Cable may have survived this reshuffle, but he’s still desperately trying to show a bit of ankle to Labour.

A co-conspirator reports that the Business Secretary was deep in conversation with Miliband consigliere Lord Wood this afternoon. People will start to talk…


Seen Elsewhere

Labour Beats UKIP in South Yorkshire | LabourList
Mock the Week’s Weak Comedy | Nigel Farage
Can Jim Murphy Save Scottish Labour? | Guardian
There is Still Appetite for the Westminster Lunch | Jon Craig
Labour Turn Their Backs on Jewish Community | Dan Hodges
Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
Second Scotland Poll Suggests Labour Wipeout | Times
Paedo Probe Boss Urged to Quit | Sun
Keynesian Tories Won’t Eliminate Deficit | Tim Montgomerie
Whitehall Doesn’t Work | Dom Cummings


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“Politicians attempt to appeal to the lowest common denominator by posturing with tough policies and calling for crackdown after crackdown. Drugs policy has been failing for decades.”



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Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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