Monday, June 9, 2014

PICTURE SPECIAL: Farage’s Top Tory Totty

Gordon Brown declared Nigel Farage to represent the best of British during his Press Gallery lunch this afternoon, telling hacks: “Britain wouldn’t be Britain without Farage with a pint in one hand and a mystery lady in the other”. Well now Guido can solve the mystery…

The blonde with her arm draped around the fun-loving UKIP leader in the (above right) photo is Tess Weeks, privately educated (Haberdashers’ Monmouth) the UCL graduate speaks Russian and Italian, she works as a recruitment consultant with Palm Mason in Canary Wharf. She attended the boozy conference in Malta last week in the course of her work. Guido cannot think why a well-lubricated Nige decided to make friends:

No need for Kirsten, the missus, to worry, there was no 3 a.m. walk back to a hotel room this time however. Tess has a boyfriend and says she is a proud supporter of the Conservative Party…

Friday, June 6, 2014

Farage Drowns His Sorrows at the Newark Count

Despite his Maltese hangover, Nigel Farage was back on the Malbec at the Newark count:

Taking it down a notch or two from his jet-set partying earlier in the week.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

It’s a Jolly Holiday With Nigel
Farage Spends Home Stretch of Campaign 1,718 Miles From Newark

With the polls opening in a matter of hours for a crunch by-election, where is the leader of the party that is hoping to break through to Westminster for the first time? Nigel Farage is certainly not in Newark. Instead he was spotted at the Hilton Hotel in sunny Malta, 1,718 miles from rainy old Nottinghamshire. Instead of campaigning, Farage is hobnobbing with Helen Grant and Lord Adonis at the Institute of Travel & Tourism’s conference. A vote of confidence for Helmer!

UKIP Block in Disabled Parker After Suspecting Dirty Tricks

UKIP campaigners suspected foul play in Newark this morning when a driver parked a car two feet from their stall in the market place. In their paranoia, how did they respond to what must have been dirty tricks? They sandwiched “Vote UKIP” signs around the offending vehicle:

Which made for an awkward scene after accusing the Tories of parking there, only to find it was a disabled driver trying to get the shops:

Yikes.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Brown UKIP Attack Attempts to Rewrite History

Unionists can pack up and go home: the Prime Mentalist has surfaced up in Scotland to launch Labour’s anti-independence campaign. McMental reckons he has worked out how to win round freedom fighters north of the border, laying into the party that has just won its first MEP in the country. Gordon told United With Labour this morning:

“I detest the politics of UKIP.”

That would be the same Gordon Brown who famously promised “British jobs for British workers”, a slogan deemed too politically incorrect for UKIP to copy. The same Gordon Brown who adopted the BNP’s “Gulags for slags” policy at Labour’s 2009 party conference.

He used to get up to far worse than what he is claiming to detest today…

Monday, June 2, 2014

Ashcroft Newark Poll Has Tories 15 Points Clear

Lord Ashcroft reports:

“A by-election two weeks after the European election means that Newark’s electors have enjoyed the prolonged attention of the parties, a privilege for which they must surely be grateful. The evidence from my poll is that the Tories have had the better of an intense ground war and have by no means taken the seat for granted. More than nine out of ten voters say they have heard from the Conservatives locally, including 81 per cent who have had literature through the door; nearly half have received personally addressed mail. Eight in ten say they have heard from UKIP; the party is reported to be slightly more active than Labour in all elements of the local campaign.

The poll was conducted in the week before polling day, and just under a fifth of voters say they may yet change their mind. Despite this, it looks clear that the next MP for Newark will be Robert Jenrick.”

The full data is here.

It’s theirs to lose…

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Helmer’s Italian Parliamentary Aide Francesca in Newark

Yesterday Roger Helmer told the Speccie that his glamorous Italian assistant Francesca Salierno was not working on his by-election campaign in Newark, merely supporting him in his Brussels role as an MEP. That said, the lady in the photo below standing a few feet away from Nigel Farage handing out UKIP leaflets in Newark this afternoon does bear a remarkable likeness to her:

20140531-125210-46330260.jpg

Perhaps Francesca has a twin, or like the Tory SpAds the PM ordered to Newark, she is “on holiday”…

Friday, May 30, 2014

Helmer: Nigel Would Do a Better Job Than Me in Newark

The Speccie have been up to Newark to interview the Tory and UKIP candidates ahead of next week’s by-election. Roger Helmer has admitted that even he doesn’t think he’s the best man for the job:

“Nigel has that enormous box office presence, and I’m sure he would do a better job than I would do. Obviously Nigel is the biggest face and the biggest asset for the party.”

Read all about it here. While dull Tory Robert Jenrick, touted as the “entrepreneur” candidate, confesses to never having run a business, and denies being a carpetbagger. Despite having stood in Newcastle-Under-Lyme in 2010 and attempting to get selected in Croydon before landing Newark…

WATCH: Joey Barton Compares UKIP to An Ugly Girl

In case you missed it on Question Time last night, here is the moment footballer Joey Barton gave us his somewhat colourful metaphor to describe UKIP:

“If I’m somewhere and there was four really ugly girls I’m thinking, well, she’s not the worst. That’s all you are.”

Not sure the outraged reaction from UKIP’s Louise Bours was the best response…

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Five Star Farage Meets Italian Rebel Commander

The commander of the People’s Army has travelled to Europe to recruit a new general for his Rebel Alliance. Nigel Farage has met with Italian anti-establishment politician Beppe Grillo, leader of the Five Star Movement which came second in the polls in Italy this week. Following their summit in Brussels, Commander Farage has addressed the nation: “If this works out it would be magnificent to see a swelling in the ranks of the Peoples’ Army.” Grillo reckons: “we are Rebels with a Cause, and we shall whistle as we march.” 

The potential UKIP-Five Star alliance in the European Parliament was first reported by Guido in the Sun on Sunday in January. At the time Nige said: “We can have a bit of fun, we can be a bit naughty. The Five Star Movement believe in asking the people what they think. All I can say is, ‘Hooray!’” One to watch out for…


Seen Elsewhere

A Bold Plan to Reform Welfare | Ruth Porter
Clinton’s Busty Mistress Nicknamed ‘Energizer’ | Mail
Photo Analysis of Miliband’s Obama Visit | Buzzfeed
Dave Shouldn’t Have Moved Gove | Michael Howard
Bercow’s Nightmare | Alex Wickham
Miliband Abandons Britain to Meet Obama | Sun
Tequila-Quaffing Chat Show Plonker Clegg | Quentin Letts
Pragmatists v Romantics | Rachel Sylvester
I’m Sorry | Colin Brazier
Blair Was a Gradualist Prime Minister | Janan Ganesh
Why Blair Will Worry Ed | Steve Richards


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Owen Paterson lifts the lid on the Green Blob:

“I received more death threats in a few months at Defra than I ever did as secretary of state for Northern Ireland.”



Flight Watch says:

Russia Today is a cauldron of bullsh*t. The only people that take it seriously are deluded conspiracy theorists. Other RT journos have resigned citing the same reasons.

It’s about as believable as Press TV, KCNA of North Korea or the Daily Mirror.


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