Friday, December 12, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Dirty Donations Edition)

BREAKING: Dirty Desmond Donates £300,000 to UKIP

Seems he’s forgiven Patrick O’Flynn then…

UPDATE: 

Who will ask Farage the Paxo questions?

 

Thursday, December 11, 2014

True Face of Red UKIP

Meet Dayle Taylor, UKIP’s carrot-topped candidate in Blackburn who has made a bit of a Tit-ian of himself. Yesterday ‘Duracell’ Dayle risked inflaming his party HQ by posting this graphic on Facebook, complete with amusing Martin Luther King paraphrasing. Fruitcakes, loonies and a ginger nut…

PFI Polly’s Paper Pitch Picked Apart By UKIP

Labour parachuted Miliband aide Polly Billington down to Thurrock with the expectation she would take the seat from the Tories, but the carpet-bagging candidate’s campaign is going from bad to worse. Not only is she trailing UKIP’s Tim Aker in the Ashcroft constituency polling, not only were Labour well behind UKIP in a recent local council by-election, now Billington is losing the student vote. “I don’t need to consult a folder to tell you what I believe in,” said Aker during today’s debate at a local college, skewering Polly on Labour’s PFI shocker after she spent two minutes reading attack lines from her notes about UKIP privatising the NHS. No doubt as to who the room preferred – the Thurrock Gazette reports “student support for UKIP and Mr Aker at the event appeared strong”. If Polly can’t even convince Thurrock’s students to vote for her…

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

UKIP in “Uproar” Over Neil Hamilton Selection Stitch Up

First a sex scandal and now a selection stitch up: UKIP are really showing themselves to be a proper, grown up party this week. Guido is told the locals in Essex are “furious” and in “uproar” ahead of tonight’s hustings in South Basildon and East Thurrock, where Neil Hamilton has been parachuted in by the central party. Sources express “deep concern” that disgraced Hamilton’s “baggage” will have a negative effect across other constituencies in Essex where UKIP believe they have winnable seats. The local party is still angry that their preferred candidate Kerry Smith was deselected by the party to make way for a “big name”. “It will become the Neil Hamilton show in Essex if he wins,” warns a worried local. So much for UKIP’s claim not to interfere in the business of their local branches…

WATCH: UKIP Natasha on “Gentleman” Roger Bird

This bizarre Newsnight interview with Natasha Bolter was carried out before her I love u” texts with Roger Bird were leaked, so it’s unfortunate for her case that she denied the messages were intimate: “Often I send a kiss after a text, but I don’t think that’s particularly intimate”. Oddly Natasha described the man she is accusing of sexually harassing her as “a gentleman”. She insists “I did not sleep with Roger Bird, end of,” but yesterday Bird told Guido the relationship was sexual. One of them is telling porkies…

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Roger Bird: I Did Have Sex With That Woman
Read Sexy Texts Between UKIP Chief and Star Candidate

These are some of the texts between departing UKIP general secretary Roger Bird and Natasha Bolter, the woman who alleges he sexually harassed her. Natasha’s texts are on the left, Roger’s are on the right:

More extracts from text messages from Natasha Bolter to Roger Bird:

Nov 9, 17.26: “I am really missing u bird…”

Nov 6, 19.05: “I have sang you praises to Nigel for 12 minutes”

Nov 6, 00.24: “U r not coming back and accordingly my life will go back to a meaningless void and it was chance that I met u. But I didn’t invent u – u were real…”

Nov 2, 23.45: “I love u bird and wish u let me look after u. Hope u feel better xx”

Nov 1, 09.27: “But I love u and miss u and think u r sort of perfect…”

Oct 30, 18.12: “I am really looking forward to c bird x”

Oct 28, 19.20: “…it’s so lovely to hear from u x”

Oct 19, 21.09: “Anyway bird I always f— up and u don’t let me in! And let go and u can trust me x. Ps thanks u for 2 nd chance but will probably screw it up!”

Oct 14, 09.31: “U r a really great mentor bird”

Sep 27 09.48: “R u still cool with me leaving suitcase here and coming home with u? Xx” [referring to leaving the party conference in Doncaster]

Roger tells Guido:

The timeline of events is:

10 September, 1pm: I met Natasha Bolter (NB) for the first time and carried out one of her four assessments to go onto the list of approved candidates

4pm: At the lead assessor’s suggestion I phoned her to arrange for her to re-sit one module. As she was still in town, I proposed to meet her at 6pm at the Oxford & Cambridge Club and conducted the assessment on the roof terrace there. It was a pleasant evening, she was able to smoke to relax. It was also a semi-public location – precisely to avoid any suggestion of impropriety.

11 September, 9.30am: I reported to the lead assessor that NB had now reached the requisite score and passed the assessment. She was then added to the list of approved candidates. I have emails to substantiate this.

12-15 September: Various email exchanges, including my helping her re-write her speech for the Doncaster conference.

18 September: Beginning of the relationship

27 October: I bought her a dress (as noted in the Times) before taking her to dinner that evening. Obviously this was during the relationship.

2 November: end of the relationship

Bird tells Guido that he has all the emails and texts which demonstrate the gradual development of the relationship and make it clear that there was no impropriety involved. Being a gentlemen he does not want to go into unseemly details beyond confirming that it was sexual. Seems neither UKIP nor The Times wanted to believe Bird’s word…

Texts via Telegraph.

Gobby ‘Turned Down By Home Office’ Before UKIP


It’s taken six months for UKIP to find a new Director of Communications and Paul Lambert has certainly been showing some ankle elsewhere. There was talk of him going to ITV, Sky or even to run Miliband’s operations. Now Guido can reveal Gobby applied to work for Theresa May’s Home Office before accepting the UKIP gig. Both the party and Mr Lambert declined the opportunity to comment. Not so gobby now…

WATCH: UKIP Sleaze Introduces Star Woman’s Equality Speech

An eventful first day in the job for Gobby, who only had to deal with a sex scandal and the resignation of a top party figure. The aptly-named Roger Bird, UKIP’s general secretary, is out after a star female candidate accused him of sexual harassment. In a tactic known as ‘doing a Rennard’, Bird allegedly told Natasha Bolter he would help her become a candidate in return for sexual favours. The video above shows a very enthusiastic Bird introducing Bolter’s September conference speech on how women have a great time in UKIP:

“UKIP is a fair party, respecting all nationalities and genders. We are an equal party. We have women at centre stage, just look how many MEPs we have. The women in UKIP have flourished equally alongside our male counterparts. We are seen for our intelligence and aptitude. We are seen for our hard graft. We are respected for our contribution. I want to be a candidate for UKIP and I want to campaign to win but I want to be selected on merit.”

Which was somewhat foreshadowing. Looks like Roger messed with the wrong bird…

Monday, December 8, 2014

BREAKING: UKIP Suspend General Secretary Roger Bird
Read Party Statement on “Allegations of Impropriety” in Full

A UKIP spokesman says:

“The UK Independence Party has announced that it suspended its General Secretary Roger Bird on the 7th of December following allegations of impropriety.

Shortly after a claim came to light about the conduct of Mr Bird with regard to candidate selection, the UK Independence Party took action swiftly and decisively, including steps involving external Human Resources consultants, as well as following due process and the Party’s Constitution to the letter.

Unfortunately, UKIP has had to suspend Mr Bird pending a full investigation into allegations made against him. The party has acted swiftly and decisively and will not tolerate impropriety of any kind amongst its staff.”

Looks like they are expecting some headlines of the ornithological variety tomorrow…


Seen Elsewhere

May SpAd Removed From Candidates List | ConHome
Clodagh’s Law | Press Gazette
Whitehall Bosses Ban Christmas | Sun
Meanwhile, in Russia… | Media Guido
Christmas TV Tips | Laura Perrins
Labour Marginal Fright | Lord Ashcroft
Osborne’ Real Deficit Reduction Record | ConHome
Blameronism | Peter Oborne
Everyone Can Lose | Staggers
Splintering of the Left | Tim Montgomerie
Fallon’s Lawyer Loathing | Quentin Letts


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