New UKIP Attack Ad Skewers Two-Faced Dave on Treaty Change

They might not have an HQ, but somewhere a ‘kipper is working hard at his laptop…

UKIP Introduces Foreigner Fee For Party Conference

The invitation arrives for journalists to attend UKIP conference in the autumn:
“There will be free registration prior to the 14th of September 2015, afterwards there will be a charge of £500 per person. However, please note if you are from non-domestic media there will be a small charge applied if your application is approved.”
So it’s free, unless you’re Johnny Foreigner…

UKIP Homeless

Cash-strapped UKIP are homeless and senior staff are being forced to work from home after the party was booted out of its plush Mayfair HQ. They will need to find somewhere else where staff will be able to “regularly take their clothes off and compile lists of people they would like to have sex with”.

Speculation centres on the suggestion that the owner of the offices, UKIP donor Andrew Reid, ordered them to move out last week after a bust up over the dire state of the party’s finances.

Despite raking in millions in cushy donations before the election, Guido understands the coffers are bare and multiple sources report that some employees and contractors have not been paid for months.

“Boxes have been packed up and we’re working from home” says a UKIP source, confirming “we’re in the process” of finding a new base. Not easy when you’re broke…

50 Days Later: Hodges Dodges Naked Run

It’s the question on everyone’s lips:

A full 50 days after Dan Hodges lost his bet that UKIP wouldn’t poll above 6%, we still haven’t seen him in his birthday suit.

“I have to fill in a form, and then get synched with a couple of people’s diaries,” Dan protests.

Don’t make Guido dust off his chicken suit…

UKIP ‘On Three Line Whip’ For Farage Book Launch

Guido is off to the pub for the launch of ‘Following Farage‘ by Owen Bennett, which includes such gems as the time the UKIP leader was involved in a coke and hooker shock:

When asked by a friendly American who recognised him in Manhattan, “here, you want some coke?”, Farage replied: “No, no, no, I can’t do any of that”.

The gentleman replied: “OK, tell me your room number, I’m going to send my girl Luscious up to your room!”, to which Nige wisely insisted: “‘No, no, no, I’m OK without Luscious, thanks!”

It also has sit down interviews with Godfrey Bloom, Janice Atkinson and Nige himself, so makes fun holiday reading for ‘Kippers. Its author is truly this generation’s Owen Bennett.

Incidentally, mischevous rumours are going around that UKIP politicians and staff “are on a three line whip” not to attend, though a UKIP source politely insists “everyone’s busy”. At least Owen will be able to pay for a round now…

Thank Evans! Suzanne on Question Time With Blessing of UKIP HQ

su-evans

UKIP sources get in touch to confirm that Suzanne Evans will appear on Question Time tonight with the blessing of the party’s HQ. The infamous email instructing the press office not to accept media bids for Suzanne has been officially withdrawn.

In response to a punchy piece in this week’s Speccie telling the story of UKIP’s internal meltdown, a UKIP source insists there has been a “sea change” in the party’s direction since the recent changes in personnel, and that after last week’s bitter infighting “everyone has calmed down, Suzanne’s happy, Douglas is happy, there’s no more squabbling, no leadership challenge. Everyone’s focussed now”. Farage has tasked his team with “unifying” the party and focussing on the ‘out’ campaign, which he wants to lead. “You will notice a contrast”, sources promise…

New UKIP EU Attack Ad

Refreshingly, UKIP are going after people who aren’t members of their own party this morning.

This new EU campaign video stars Jose Manuel Barroso, Viviane Reding and Martin Schulz:

A Farage-led ‘out’ campaign would at least be punchy…

Good Evans! Suzanne Unsacked

su-evans

A UKIP spokesman says:

“Suzanne Evans has not been sacked as a UKIP spokesman. The email seen by the BBC was issued without proper authority.”

Being unsacked is the new unresigned… how do we know this spokesman has the proper authority to unsack Suzanne?

Thwack! UKIP Wars Explained

The Daily Politics take on UKIP, in cartoon form…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Suzanne Sacked as UKIP Spokesman

Via the BBC:

No one survives questioning the dear leader…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Suzanne Evans: Farage Perceived as Divisive Character

Yesterday Farage said he would be “prepared” to lead the ‘Out’ campaign, a view not shared by Suzanne Evans on the Daily Politics this afternoon:

“I think Nigel is a very divisive character in terms of the way he is

[…]

+ READ MORE +

You Can’t Fault Desmond’s Taste in Wine

So Richard Desmond knows all about a PFL.

The FT reports:

“In Richard Desmond’s hands, simple objects become terrifying. There’s the receptionist’s bell that he uses to interrupt executives in board meetings, or the cups of tea that occasionally

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Charles Clarke says Cameron is the most successful PM for over a century…

“Under Margaret Thatcher the Conservatives gained 99 seats. They lost 211 under John Major, gained one under William Hague, quickly and wisely got rid of Ian Duncan-Smith, gained 32 under Michael Howard and have so far gained 133 under David Cameron who, to the great surprise of many (including senior Conservatives), has turned out to be the most electorally successful Tory leader since 1900.”

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