Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Dick Pic Tory Tipped to Defect to UKIP

Rumours swirl at Tory conference that the next man to jump ship to UKIP will be Boris’ former deputy mayor Dick Barnes, best known for uploading some unfortunate photos to Facebook.

The Tories will be fearing this is just the tip of the iceberg, if UKIP keep it up they could be well and truly shafted tomorrow…

Monday, September 29, 2014

CCHQ Gestapo Interrogate UKIP Sympathising Tory Delegate

Sources close to the airport-style security area at Tory conference have an intriguing tale about the whereabouts of a man who was let into the secure zone wearing a t-shirt sporting the slogan “Nigel has a point”. Guido is told that a furious  Tory official “dragged” the cheeky visitor, a party member, into a quiet room by the security fence and grilled him at length to determine whether he was a “security threat” to the conference, reportedly suspending his pass for several hours. A rare case of a Ukipper trying to get into the Tories, rather than the other way round…

Sunday, September 28, 2014

LISTEN: Mark Reckless’ Voicemail to Grant Shapps

When he went on the Sunday Politics this morning, Mark Reckless probably didn’t expect he would be played a voicemail he left for Grant Shapps on Friday promising to campaign for the Tories in Birmingham. The following day he defected to UKIP.

“You can’t discuss these things in advance,” says Reckless…

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Quote of the Day

Mark Reckless Defects to UKIP

A dream for headline writers everywhere. On the eve of Tory conference Mark Reckless has defected to UKIP.

He was denying it less than 24 hours ago, but the clues were there in the Iraq vote:

And so to Birmingham.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Men Talking Over Women at the UKIP Women’s Reception

The patriarchy were only interested in the free beer at the UKIP women’s reception. Mrs Farage was in the audience…

UKIP Launch “Theresa May Tax”

A crass attempt at token Labour-vote stealing communism announced at UKIP conference today. A 25% tax on luxury goods such as £200 shoes, £1,000 handbags and £50,000 cars. UKIP sources are calling it the ‘Theresa May tax’. Claws out for the kitten heels…

Strange Bedfellows: UKIP and Stop the War

At last, Nigel Farage has found some third party support for bold assertion that Cameron recalled parliament to bomb Iraq solely to upstage UKIP’s conference. One of the many reasons the Stop the War Coalition give for opposing action against IS is that ‘the timing is cynical’. We live in mysterious times… 

David Icke, Chemtrails and UKIP Conference’s Star Speaker

Guido knows who he is most looking forward to hearing speak on the main stage at UKIP conference in Doncaster this morning. Hong La is a former UKIP council candidate from Bradford, who is scheduled to address the conference hall at 10:55am. He is also something of a conspiracy theorist. According to his Facebook page, Hong is a big fan of David Icke and his American counterpart Alex Jones and has a keen interest in “chemtrails”, the theory that the government is brainwashing us all with mind-altering chemical agents sprayed out of the back of aeroplanes. He also reckons the leader of Hope Not Hate “works for MI5″ and says “I’m with UKIP as they are against the NWO”, referring to the New World Order theory that a secretive elite is conspiring to rule the world.

Let’s hope security up in Donny are on the lookout for lizards…

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Meanwhile, in Clacton…

UKIP’s by-election headquarters have come up with a novel way to motivate their men and women on the ground. Awarded to “the most heroic volunteers” at the end of each day is:

The arch-voice of the Tory left providing Carswell’s troops with their ammo and their inspiration…


Seen Elsewhere

Why are Tories so Upbeat? | Alex Wickham
Clear Public Interest in Newmark Sting | Mirror
Boris Invites Farage to Join Tories | Guardian
RAF Too Run Down to Fight Islamic State | Con Coughlin
Osborne’s Personal Cuts Regime | Quentin Letts
Whoever Wins is Cursed | Janan Ganesh
Dave Will Never Be Forgiven if Ed Becomes PM | Trevor Kavanagh
What is Dave’s Big Message? | Tim Montgomerie
Voting UKIP Only Helps Ed | Boris
Only Tory-UKIP Deal Can Stop Labour Win | Dan Hannan
Tories Need to Be Party of Ideas | Laura Perrins


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Mark Reckless told UKIP…

“We are more than a star on someone else’s flag.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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