Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Socialist Twitter Stasi Ban #EmptyShelvesInVenezuela Hashtag

The great socialist experiment is going so well in Venezuela that the country has run out of McDonald’s French fries and soap. Online dissent is being quelled by the authoritarian regime, with President Maduro’s government banning photos of bare supermarkets on the #AnaquelesVaciosEnVenezuela (#EmptyShelvesInVenezeula) hashtag. In solidarity with the oppressed peoples of of the Bolivarian Republic, Guido shares their plight:

Two years ago Owen Jones and Diane Abbott flew to Venezuela at the expense of the regime, giving the government a nice PR boost in spite of its atrocious human rights record. Now the people of Venezuela are crying out for help, where are they now?

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Miliband Election Chief Wants Gong For Sex Assault Star

lucy

Labour’s walking election disaster Lucy Powell showed what a woman of the people she is with this tweet about darts champ Phil “The Power” Taylor:

Correct: Taylor never got a knighthood, though he was awarded an MBE in 2001. Only to have the gong annulled after he was found guilty of indecently assaulting two young women in his caravan. Bullseye!

Friday, December 19, 2014

Twitter Bitch Fight of the Week: Oborne v Maguire

Today’s Mirror splashes on “heartless” George Osborne giving his SpAd Rupert Harrison, apparently “one of the chief architects” of the “cruel austerity drive”, a 19% pay rise.

The story very much upset Man of the People Mirror Associate Editor Kevin Maguire, who Peter Oborne has the temerity to speculate is on rather more than Rupert:

Kerching!

Monday, December 8, 2014

Brand ‘Threw Curry Sauce’ at Daily Mail Journalist…
Then Tweeted His Mobile Number to 8.7 Million Followers

How does Russell Brand respond to a journalist asking him a question? By tweeting his mobile number to his 8.7 million followers. Guido has obscured the image, but Brand knows Daily Mail reporter Neil Sears’ phone will be ringing off the hook with nutters bombarding him with calls. Was there an ulterior motive? Guido is told Brand and Sears had a run in last week when the reporter doorstepped him to give him right of reply on a story he was planning on running. Brand then allegedly responded by throwing curry sauce all over him…

Friday, December 5, 2014

Official: No One Cares About #CameronMustGo

The less reality-based elements of the loony left are still banging on at the ‘biased’ media failing to cover a hashtag calling for the PM to step down. Today’s Populus poll offers a more likely reason: no one cares. Not one person in the real world thought it was a story this week:

The final proof it was never news…

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Labour Candidate Posts Full Frontal Vagina Pic on Twitter

Tory MP Karl McCartney appears to have ‘done a Dromey’, in other words ‘favouriting’ a saucy picture on his Twitter account. His Labour opponent’s decision to flag this up, uncensored, to her followers will have had them choking on their lunch:

lucy

Red faces all round…

UPDATE:

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Tin Foil Trickett Strikes Again
Loony Ed Adviser’s Latest Conspiracy Wheeze

Ed Miliband’s new political adviser is in Norman Baker territory with this latest conspiracy theory. Jon Trickett reckons he can explain the lack of press coverage for the  prosaic #CameronMustGo campaign, which was started by an internet loony who claims the Tories are Nazis, and shared by dozens of simpleton Labour MPs. “The official media suppressed any comment,” tin foil Trickett claims, “you won’t have seen anything about it in the mainstream media”. (It’s been covered by the BBC.)

Could it be that Labour supporters tweeting that they don’t like David Cameron is not really that interesting? No, says Trickett, “the press barons and their hired hands fear that their power to control the flow of opinion and information is, daily, slipping away from their hands”. Tell that to the barons at the top of the Daily Mail Group and Telegraph Media Group. Papers owned by both have covered the ‘story’.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Twitter Bitch Fight of the Weekend: Tom Watson v Ivan Lewis

The Labour old guard spent their Sunday afternoons locked in a bruising Red on Red deathmatch. The protagonists: Blairite Shadow Cabinet minister Ivan Lewis and one time Brownite bootboy Tom Watson. The subject: Scottish Labour’s leadership election. The venue: Twitter.

Seconds out!

Alas, Ivan couldn’t quite bring himself to write ‘knifing Blair’…

Friday, November 7, 2014

Labour’s #EMforPM Hashtag Has Mixed Results

Earlier today Miliband’s new senior adviser implored Labour supporters to back their leader using the hashtag “EMforPM”. The plan did not go so well:

Slow clap.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Eddie Izzard Returns to Form

eddie[1]Eddie Izzard is a backer of hopeless causes ranging from joining the euro, voting for Ken Livingstone, Gordon Brown, the Yes side in the alternative vote referendum and now of course Ed Miliband. Guido was therefore highly perturbed when Izzard managed to be, for once, on the winning side in the Scottish independence referendum thus devaluing his use as a negative predictive tool. Fear not, all is once again right.

After urging his Twitter followers to vote for the Democrats they had a bad night and the Republicans took control of the Senate…


Seen Elsewhere

ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath
Boris: Jihadis are W*nkers | Sun


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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