Civil Servants Ordered to Follow Superiors on Twitter

twitter-follow-achiever

Civil servants are now “expected” to follow “high profile staff” members and “associated ministers” in their department on Twitter if they are on the network. An edict issued today by the Cabinet Office, informs everyone working in digital and technology across government that they must follow the social media accounts of their superiors in order to make the civil service “more skilled, digital and unified.

Straight from the organic social media growth handbook…

Salma Yaqoob in Hijab Porn Shock

yaqoob hijab

Salma Yaqoob, the loony former leader of Respect, came to prominence as the hijab wearing Muslim woman elected to Birmingham city council. Yaqoob has just followed @DesiCruise10inc on Twitter, a porn account dedicated to posting adult pictures of “babes” wearing hijabs. Very adult (NSFW).

“The hijab is not about the denial of female (or male) sexuality. Quite the opposite… the aim of hijab is to de-emphasise sexuality in public interactions, whilst encouraging sexuality in private ones.” - Salma Yaqoob 

Not sure if that’s haram…

UPDATE: Salma Yaqoob has unfollowed @DesiCruise10inc

yaqoob update

One Peer A-Perving

  • Labour Lord’s Outside Interests in ‘High Class Escorts’ and ‘Humiliation’
  • Lord Berekely Insists I certainly haven’t used their services”

Labour Lord (Tony) Berkeley likes to keep up with his interests on Twitter. The former chairman of the European Rail Freight Association follows @EurostarUK, @RailfutureFret, @RMTunion and, er, @MidwestEscorts. The ‘High Class Escorts’ twitter account belongs to a Kansas City based escort service who regularly tweet out saucy pictures of the ladies on their books.

3

Lord Berkeley also follows @rana198888, an account belonging to an Arabic “Queen” who regularly tweets very NSFW pictures of men being sexually humiliated that are far too graphic for a family site to republish.

Despite following just 240 accounts, a startled Lord Berkeley assured Guido over the phone that it was “not bloody likely” that he had intentionally followed @MidwestEscorts and “I certainly haven’t used their services.” He thanked Guido for bringing Midwest Escorts to his attention and will be unfollowing them with immediate effect. Always happy to help…

Ipsos MORI: No One Cares About DECC Climate Change Campaign

hashtagfail

The Department of Energy & Climate Change are probably wishing they hadn’t commissioned a “Social Listening Evaluation” in an attempt to justify a “Tweetathon” they held last year. The 45 page report published today comes to a shocking conclusion. No one was really bothered.

DECC employed pollsters Ipsos MORI  to measure the “Sentiment” around their #BackClimateAction campaign which aimed to “re-engage the public with climate change” and “make climate change relevant to peoples day-to-day lives.” MORI found that 11% of people were positive about the campaign, 6% were negative and a whopping 83% were neutral. DECC are spinning that MORI’s software must be dodgy because national polling suggests people are really concerned about climate change and thus most people should be reacting positivity to taxpayer funded tweets about it. More taxpayers’ money well spent…

Owen Jones is Followed By the One Percent

owen jones 1%

With 292,000 followers, ageing pundit Owen Jones appears to be a big deal on Twitter. But is all it seems for the authentic voice of the common man?

Techno Guido used the Status People’s Fakers App, to analyse Jones’ followers and the results were eyebrow raising to say the least. A full 96% of Owen’s followers were judged to be fake, 3% were inactive while only a paltry 1% were “good.” While it’s perfectly normal to have some fake followers, Owen’s numbers are so high that someone must be buying him robot followers.

For comparison we’ve posted the details of some other equally famous and influential Twitterers.

cameron

obama

guido

“I know that I have needed social media in my career and I owe it a lot.” – Owen Jones

UPDATE: Owen says he’s been framed:

MPs Equate Trolls to Paedos
Cross Party Call For Online Vigilantism

report-abuse

An all-party panel of MPs has called for socially conscious online vigilantes to pro-actively seek out and report offensive social media comments. The group has proposed a prominent (and no doubt expensive) awareness campaign to help “civil society” report Twitter trolls. It comes as part of a package of bonkers proposals that wants horrible people to be banned from the internet in the same way paedophiles are currently under the Sexual Offences Prevention Orders.  The purpose of Sexual Offences Prevention Orders are to protect the “public from serious physical or psychological harm.” While the rise of anti-Semitism online is a worrying trend, there is no doubt that such measures would be abused to stifle legitimate free speech. Get your pitch forks, someone is saying mean words over there…

WATCH: Cameron’s ‘Bill Somebody’ PMQs Gag

Cameron delivered his best gag for ages at PMQs today:

“The day after his Shadow Chancellor was asked on the television could he think of one single business leader, do you know what he said, he said ‘Bill somebody’. Mr Speaker, ‘Bill somebody’ is not a person, ‘Bill somebody’ is Labour’s policy!”

Only six more to go…

Socialist Twitter Stasi Ban #EmptyShelvesInVenezuela Hashtag

The great socialist experiment is going so well in Venezuela that the country has run out of McDonald’s French fries and soap. Online dissent is being quelled by the authoritarian regime, with President Maduro’s government banning photos of bare supermarkets on the #AnaquelesVaciosEnVenezuela (#EmptyShelvesInVenezeula) hashtag. In solidarity with the oppressed peoples of of the Bolivarian Republic, Guido shares their plight:

Two years ago Owen Jones and Diane Abbott flew to Venezuela at the expense of the regime, giving the government a nice PR boost in spite of its atrocious human rights record. Now the people of Venezuela are crying out for help, where are they now?

Miliband Election Chief Wants Gong For Sex Assault Star

lucy

Labour’s walking election disaster Lucy Powell showed what a woman of the people she is with this tweet about darts champ Phil “The Power” Taylor:

[…]

Twitter Bitch Fight of the Week: Oborne v Maguire

Today’s Mirror splashes on “heartless” George Osborne giving his SpAd Rupert Harrison, apparently “one of the chief architects” of the “cruel austerity drive”, a 19% pay rise.

The story very much upset Man of the People Mirror Associate Editor […]

Brand ‘Threw Curry Sauce’ at Daily Mail Journalist…
Then Tweeted His Mobile Number to 8.7 Million Followers

How does Russell Brand respond to a journalist asking him a question? By tweeting his mobile number to his 8.7 million followers. Guido has obscured the image, but Brand knows Daily Mail reporter Neil Sears’ phone will be ringing off […]

Official: No One Cares About #CameronMustGo

The less reality-based elements of the loony left are still banging on at the ‘biased’ media failing to cover a hashtag calling for the PM to step down. Today’s Populus poll offers a more likely reason: no one cares. Not […]



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Quote of the Day

Andrew Neil on the dying Dead Tree Press

“I read more bloggers now than mainstream columnists, because they’ve got more interesting things to say. Too many columnists today make you think, ‘Yeah, I think you’ve said that 10 times before and I’ve just noticed your column has not go a single fact in it’”.

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