Thursday, January 3, 2013

Gang Lamb Style

Norman Lamb’s local paper reports that he was “ambushed” by Morris dancers in his constituency over Christmas. One photo op that the LibDem Care Minister should have skipped…

Friday, December 21, 2012

It’s Kerry

John Kerry will been nominated by Obama to replace Hillary Clinton. The office of Secretary of State should be more than a safe haven for Democrat presidential losers. Interestingly the first white male to hold the job since 1997. 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Gordon’s Alive: Worth Every Penny

It’s well over a year now since Gordon Brown has spoken in Parliament but he has manged to put in two written questions on behalf of his constituents. The enquiries to the MOD are on the identical topic to his last batch of questions – ten months ago.

Written Answers – Defence: Dalgety Bay (17 Dec 2012)
Gordon Brown: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence what recent
assessment he has made of reports on the incidence of cancer in the
Dalgety Bay area.

So Brown’s total of contribution this year has extended to nine written questions, which on his MPs salary puts that at about £7,300 a pop. And that’s before you factor in the expenses he still has the cheek to claim…

Monday, December 10, 2012

Gordon Brown Declares £300,000 in One Month
Miliband Facing Calls to Sack Prime Mentalist

SACK-HIM

It has been a month to be proud of our globe-trotting former Prime Mentalist. Not only did he manage to make it a year since he last spoke in Parliament but he has also declared over £300,000 in December’s Register of Members’ Interests, all held by the Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown and not going into his own pocket, of course. While Kirkcaldy goes unrepresented those lucky enough to have Gordon grace them with his presence include the Chinese, Koreans, Americans and Ukrainians. The total £305,037 declaration for the last month is for sixteen hours’ work, or £19,064-an-hour. More than many of his constituents earn in a whole year.

gordonA letter has gone out from the Tories to Ed Miliband calling for the Labour leader to sack his former boss. Brown is jet-setting around the world, refusing to speak up for those he is paid £65,000-a-year of taxpayers’ money to represent, while earning vast sums of money that is being “held” by his company to “support (my) ongoing involvement in public life”. Surely it is time for that “public life” to be lived away from the House of Commons…

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Why the Prime Mentalist is Speaking Today

Hold the front page: Gordon Brown is speaking in Parliament today. And why is the jet-setting Prime Mentalist gracing us with his presence? He’ll be speaking in a debate on Scottish independence, but don’t let that fool you. The only reason Gordon is speaking, today of all days, is that he somehow got wind of the huge celebrations planned tomorrow to mark the one year anniversary of the last time he spoke in the House. That’s right, the last time Brown spoke in Parliament was on the 30th November 2011. His utter contempt for serving Parliament and his constituents knows no bounds…

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

PHOTO: Gordon’s Aliiiiiive!
Prime Mentalist Spotted Very Near Chamber

Guido’s mole reports a flurry of Westminster activity from the former Prime Mentalist.  Not only did Gordon actually vote last night, he almost made it into the Chamber today. But not quite! He stopped short behind the Speaker’s chair.

So, Leveson aside, why is Brown in town? Guido can report that instead of representing the people of Kirkcaldy, as he is paid to do, Gordon was showing a mysterious balding gentleman around the estate.

A doorman’s conversation was overheard by one witty Member:

Doorman: Who was that then?

MP: The former Prime Minster.

DM: No, no with him.

Boom-tish.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Speaker Jerk-ow

Who’d have thought John Bercow would want to add to his reputation as a stupid and sanctimonious dwarf? The pint-sized Speaker has fulfilled at least two of these three criteria by parking his bright red £30,000 Land Rover Freelander, complete with self-titled personalised numberplate, outside his parliamentary apartment for all to see. Bercow’s latest vanity project will have set him back anything between a few hundred quid and several thousand. His wife’s other car is a Volvo…

Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Forgetful Fat Cat

As the TUC prepare to go on another pointless walk this weekend, Guido couldn’t help but chuckle when he read the London Loves Business interview with union boss Bill Hayes this evening. It turns out the £97,000-a-year fat cat is paid so much he has lost count:

“It’s not £97,000. Off the top of my head, I’d have to look it up. I don’t think [it's more]. Without looking at my payslip, I don’t know, I don’t know – but it’s good pay.”

Union bosses are so rich they don’t know how much they earn. Guido wonders how many of those paying him through their subs can say the same?

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Tommo’s Late Night Blonde Plot Busted

Tom Watson managed to escape his own gate-gate moment when he tried to bust a young blonde into Labour’s conference hotel without credentials late last night. Although there is is no official police control around the Midland Hotel, stewards were having none of it, not even for the Party’s Deputy Chairman. Managing to show some restraint in light of recent pleb-related outbursts, Watson was left apologising to his young friend and promptly abandoning her. At least he can’t blame how this one ended on the Murdochs…

Friday, September 28, 2012

Gordon’s Reality Check

If the Prime Mentalist didn’t already know just how much everyone misses him, he will now. Gordon was supposed to speak at a press conference at the UN in New York last night but had to cancel after just one journalist turned up. McMental had hoped to enthrall a room of hacks with a speech about his latest schools initiative but was left red-faced when he was confronted with an empty room. It’s almost tragic. Almost…


Seen Elsewhere

Ex-Sun Hack Cleared After 582 Days on Bail | MediaGuido
11 Times Boris Denied He Would Stand for Parliament | Buzzfeed
Attacking UKIP’s Posters is Counter-Productive | Guardian
Sarkozy Tried it on With Hollande’s Ex | Times
Another Spare Room Subsidy Cut Success | Harry Phibbs
Rich Now Have Less Leisure Than Poor | Economist
UKIP’s Immigration Policy Promotes Migrant Entrepreneurs | Breitbart
Another Feminist Lecture | Laura Perrins
UKIP Posters Bad Economics But Good Politics | James Delingpole
Tories Losing to UKIP in Scotland | ConHome
UKIPers Will Come Home in 2015 | Sun


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A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”



Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.


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