WATCH: Dave Trashes Chukapedia

It was an open goal for the Prime Minister when he came face to face with Chuka “Barack” Umunna in the Commons. Did he score? Yes he did…

UPDATE: 

Afriyie Has Spoken

It’s what everyone has been on the edge of their seats waiting for: Adam Afriyie has had his say on today’s results over at ITV:

ariyie“No-one can deny that the Conservative party had a bad night in South Shields and as I write, it looks like we are also going to lose a substantial number of local council seats.

It’s clear that many Conservative voters have stayed at home or, in many cases, voted UKIP.

Either we are not yet effectively communicating our national policies or for whatever reason people are no longer hearing or believing what we have to say.

Sometimes nobody can help that – especially mid-term when we need to cut the deficit and take tough actions.

People are rightly concerned about things like Europe and immigration and that is reflected in the gains made by UKIP.

They are making gains because they only have two issues but they are the issues which chime in rough times – Europe and immigration.

But I am hopeful that we can turn things around and win a majority at the next general election.

But only if we acknowledge how people feel; recognise that they didn’t vote for us because mainstream political parties are failing them.

We need to understand that ignoring UKIP isn’t going to make them go away.

It seems to me that things would be rather different at these elections if people knew that economic growth had restarted, Conservatives had put in place the legislation for an in-out referendum and immigration was already falling further because we had implemented bold but sensible solutions.

I know we can get there and continue to build a bright future for Britain as a world-leading nation once again.”

“His views do not necessarily reflect those of ITV News.” Or the Conservative Party…

Gordon’s Miner Catastrophe

Scottish Coal has gone into provisional liquidation, with 600 people losing their jobs. Asset strippers have moved in, mines are being sold off and the business is winding up. What went wrong?

The doom-mongering Prime Mentalist was all smiles and full of good cheer as he visited Scottish Coal at St. Ninians in Fife last May:

“The Company and all those who work on the site should be very proud of what they are doing. I am sure that the project will be a big success and become a significant asset for our local area.”

Everything he touches…

JLS Were Doomed

Doomed.

LISTEN: Miliband Adviser: Gordon Like Brezhnev

Ed’s one-time guru Maurice Glasman has some choice words about what things were like under the Prime Mentalist:

[gigya src=”http://boos.audioboo.fm/swf/fullsize_player.swf” flashvars=”mp3=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F1348054-glasman-on-brown.mp3%3Fsource%3Dwordpress&mp3Author=WikiGuido&mp3LinkURL=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F1348054-glasman-on-brown&mp3Time=12.42pm+23+Apr+2013&mp3Title=Glasman+on+Brown” width=”480″ height=”160″ allowFullScreen=”true” wmode=”transparent”]

“In the end, where there’s no movement, where there’s only outcomes, where it’s all completely administrative: spending money is all you can do. That’s the whole story of what happened to Gordon Brown who was just sitting there allocating or not allocating resources to people. There was no devolution of power, no politics in that. It was an entirely Brezhnevite kind of administrative system.”

The two Eds must have had a great time. From Mr Bean to Brezhnev…

Introducing Soho’s Supercool New Club Night: ‘Chukka’

For some reason we haven’t seen much of Harrison over the last few days, but perhaps an answer to his plea for some non-trashy night life will be enough to coax him back into public. A new club night in Soho dedicated to polo, live music and champagne has just opened. It’s name? Chukka. Owner Siobhan MaGill reveals all:

“From this comment, it is clear that Chuka has not experienced the wealth of places London has to offer. We are one of the most diverse capitals in the world and certainly have a variety of venues to showcase this. We would therefore love to invite Chuka in to experience Chukka when we launch. We would invite Chuka in to experience our entertainment from the all-singing, all-dancing bar staff whilst he sips on a glass of fizz from London’s first Billecart-Salmon Champagne bar. If this wasn’t enough to get him dancing and to change his mind, we would encourage him to delve into our new equestrian themed fancy dress box.”

An offer he surely can’t refuse…

WATCH: Politician Sport Fails

Guido thinks everyone needs cheering up a little. Here’s one way of comparing recent PMs…

Jamie Reed’s Welfare Wonder

On Radio 4 last night, Labour lobby fodder Jamie Reed revealed the solution to reforming the entire welfare state and recalibrating handouts depending on what people have paid into the system in the past. This huge, costed and clearly well thought out overhaul announced by Labour at the weekend will be paid for by, you guessed it, a tax on bankers’ bonuses:

[gigya src=”http://boos.audioboo.fm/swf/fullsize_player.swf” flashvars=”mp3=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F1315574-jamie-reed-says-tax-bankers-bonuses-again.mp3%3Fsource%3Dwordpress&mp3Author=WikiGuido&mp3LinkURL=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F1315574-jamie-reed-says-tax-bankers-bonuses-again&mp3Time=09.19am+08+Apr+2013&mp3Title=Jamie+Reed+Says+Tax+Bankers+Bonuses%2C+Again” width=”480″ height=”160″ allowFullScreen=”true” wmode=”transparent”]
Now correct Guido if he is wrong, but haven’t Labour already promised to spend money raised from a tax on bankers’ bonuses? He recalls promises to use it to reverse the VAT rise, increase capital spending, reverse Child Benefit cuts, reverse cuts to other Tax Credits, boost the Regional Growth Fund, turn empty shops into community centres and build more houses. After this thirty billion splurge, and the fact bankers’ bonuses have been severely squeezed, how much money does Jamie think will be left over?

Double Standards in Labour Education

Backbench dunce Ian Mearns wasted no time in sticking his oar in to the bitch fight between Tim Loughton and the anonymous @ToryEducation yesterday. The Member of the Education Select Committee must have thought he was onto a right wheeze up there on his high horse:

“This extraordinary attack is another example of derogatory language….

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Adam Afriyie Chases George Osborne (On Twitter)

Until today Adam Afriyie had not used his little known Twitter account since March 2011.

Last seen 23 months ago moaning about IPSA and bigging up his local carnival, now the great orator of his age has taken to sharing his sharp views on the budget online.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Even Adam Afriyie Cannot Watch

adamafriye

In his slow-motion train-wreck leadership interview on Sunday, the over-coached yet under-prepared charisma by-pass known as Adam Afriyie boasted of the “efforts of my team around me.” This team presumably includes the media advisor he was putting feelers out for recently.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Life's a Beach For Gordon

The Prime Mentalist is gracing us with his presence in the House tomorrow, having secured a debate about cleaning up radiation on a beach in his constituency. Let’s hope he puts in a little more preparation for his speech than he did for the written parliamentary questions he has been asking the Ministry of Defence recently.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Happy Birthday Gordon

Best wishes to the Prime Mentalist as he turns 62 today. Twelve months without speaking in Parliament, £6,000 and more on air fares at our expense, £300,000-a-month in cash that is definitely not paid to him, an attendance record to be ashamed of, landing his successor in it, not to mention the worst of omens for His Holiness.[…]

+ READ MORE +

When Ed Defended Gordon's 10p Tax Disaster

What a difference a few years makes. Here is Ed Miliband in 2008, defending Gordon Brown’s abolition of the 10p tax rate:

“When you make a big set of changes in the tax system, some people do lose out. That is a matter of regret.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Rare Sighting of Gordon at a Vote

Nice of the Prime Mentalist to show up for a vote concerning him keeping his own seat rather than, you know, speaking on the budget or a matter of national security.[…]

+ READ MORE +

The Eternal Shame of Gordon Brown

Like Guido, the loveable Icelandic President Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson holds a grudge with our former Prime Mentalist. Speaking to Sky last night he went on the attack:

“The Gordon Brown government decided, to its eternal shame, to put the Icelandic government on a list of terrorist states and terrorist phenomena.

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Sky’s Faisal Islam on the mood in Parliament at the moment:

“It’s a totally febrile atmosphere here. It’s kind of like Game of Thrones meets House of Cards – and if you chuck in the Labour Party – Laurel and Hardy too.”

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