Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I’m the Prime Minister, Get Me Out of Here

The chamber fell about laughing after Gordon made a twat of himself forgetting he had a statement to make:

UPDATE : In reply to the statement Dave said: “Can I thank the Prime Minister for making his statement…it was a close run thing”.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Jonah Brown’s Mexican Wave of Tragedy

Guido suspects that President Asif Ali Zardari of Pakistan is no fool, he saw what happened to the Mexicans after their President, Felipe Calderon, shook hands with Jonah Brown.  He acted in Pakistan’s national interest, cancelling a scheduled meeting with the Prime Mentalist.  What was the upside for Zardari in shaking hands with the manic, mincing madman?  Cancelling the meeting was his patriotic duty.

Mexico CursedLast month innocent little President Felipe Calderon of Mexico led a full state visit to Britain.  He happily shook hands with Jonah, he dined with Jonah, he spent time with Jonah unknowing of the fearsome risks. Inevitably within a month the curse hit Mexico hard.   Plague has come in the form of Swine Flu, taking the lives of over a hundred Mexicans so far.

EpicentreThe prolonged proximity to the presbyterian pestilence has brought double tragedy for Calderon’s people.  Already reeling from the swinish plague, Mexico has suffered an earthquake of magnitude 5.6 on the Richter scale.

“I’m scared,” Sarai Luna Pajas, a 22-year-old Mexico City resident, told the Associated Press news agency.  “We Mexicans are not used to living with so much fear, but all that is happening – the economic crisis, the illnesses and now this – it feels like the Apocalypse.” Pity the undeserving victims of the accursed, one-eyed son of the manse…

Friday, April 24, 2009

Bonkers Brown Bruising in the Bunker

The financial newswire Bloomberg is not known for sensationalism, it has an in-house rule that unattributable reports have to be double-sourced.  So bunker watchers can be confident that this report from inside the Prime Mentalist’s bunker is more than just hearsay:

The strain shows, say current and former Brown aides: Among other things, it has inflamed a temper that has always been the subject of gallows humor among those who work with him, they say.  The prime minister, 58, has hurled pens and even a stapler at aides, according to one; he says he once saw the leader of Britain’s 61 million people shove a laser printer off a desk in a rage. Another aide was warned to watch out for “flying Nokias” when he joined Brown’s team.

The ‘News Sandwich’
One staffer says a colleague developed a technique called a “news sandwich” – first telling the prime minister about a recent piece of good coverage before delivering bad news, and then moving quickly to tell him about something good coming soon.

Michael Ellam, the PM’s spokesman told Lobby copy-takers on April 14 that the news of Smeargate had made the Prime Mentalist “furious”. Guido wonders if they noticed any signs of bruising on the spokesman?

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Guess What Happened Next?

Police brutality is in the news again.  Here is Gordon being brutal towards a copper.  How can anyone watching this (video here) not think Brown is socially autistic?  The Prime Mentalist is an emotionally retarded weirdo.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Dangerous Liaison

Nigel Griffiths is all over the place, from claiming at first the Screws of the World had fabricated the whole story to now implying via the “close friends” off-the-record briefing ruse, that it was a forgotten in a drunken haze one-off fling.  Perhaps that explains the photos – they were his aide memoire.

If it turns out not to be true that it was just a fling and the liaison was  a more long term  affair, he will have done himself no favours by not now coming clean and will be risking a second round of revelations.  Bonking in the office may well cost him his office at the election.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Jonah Brown Curses Dundee Labour Party

In his speech last Friday to Labour’s Scottish conference in Dundee, Gordon made a toe-curling and very laboured joke:
“As you know I’m not long back from Washington DC and I said the people there that I couldn’t stay long because I was off to Dundee, They asked, Dundee Michigan, Dundee Illinois or Dundee Oregon? I said the original Dundee. They asked what state was it in? It’s in a great state, I replied. It’s got a Labour council.”

Not now it hasn’t. In a council by-election held yesterday and counted today, Labour lost control of the council.

On the other hand, Dundee’s woes worsened this week in that Gordon’s visit was followed by local job losses at NCR and Texol. The accursed one-eyed son of the manse strikes again…

Friday, March 6, 2009

Jonah Effect Explains Oxford Gail’s Woes

She was nation’s brain box darling, sweeping all opposition aside on University Challenge and even impressing the permanently unimpressed Paxman. However disaster has struck and her team has been disqulaified on a technicality. Guido has found the cause of her troubles – a Prime Ministerial meeting. The accursed one-eyed son of the manse has struck again…

Thursday, March 5, 2009

How CNN Reported Gordon’s Obama Meeting

The coverage of Brown’s trip on American broadcast networks – what little coverage there was – was humiliatingly bad for Gordon. This excerpt gives you an idea. This broadcaster used words like:
Wounded at home … wanted a news conference… got a low key meeting … didn’t seem to mind being the American President’s poodle …. Brown is desperate … the President pointedly didn’t make any promises about a global new deal…

This was on left-leaning CNN, Fox News basically ignored Brown. That went well didn’t it?

You Needn’t Make It Up

Yesterday Guido was bombarded with emails from one outraged and perhaps over-emotional Labour spinner accusing him of making up the story about staffers being invited to pad out the Congrssional chamber. So for their benefit here is an excerpt from this morning’s Washington Post:
…Several dozen members of Congress skipped the speech. Their seats in the chamber were taken by House and Senate staff and other guests.

According to the office of the House clerk, Brown’s appearance marked the 107th time a foreign leader or dignitary has addressed a joint meeting of Congress, going back to 1874 when King David Kalakaua of Hawaii gave an address.

No need for an apology.

UPDATE : From the Indy this morning;

Boy Scouts Swell the Clapping Crowds
It was all hands on deck with congressional aides ensuring the chamber was packed. Minutes before the session began, Senator Byron Dorgan of North Dakota led a knot of young aides and interns down the corridors of the Capitol. They were joined by a scout troop and other staffers brought in to fill empty spaces.

Finally Gordon Brown entered the chamber to resounding applause, reaching to greet members on both sides of the aisle like old friends. Many were. Mr Brown has spent decades cultivating the top political leadership of the Democratic party. It was the political version of This Is Your Life and he basked in the glory of it.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

How Many Standing Ovations Will Congress Give Brown?

Guido never tires of reminding his Labour minded friends that they got rid of a three-time election winning political genius and replaced him with Gordon Brown. They took a leader who instinctively understood the dynamics of a personal or political situation and replaced Blair with a man who suffers from social autism and an unceasing ability to make himself look an embarrassing twat.

The Americans are a polite and courteous people, they will undoubtedly give Brown a standing ovation. Congress however is not an audience that can be manipulated by party apparatchiks and placemen “spontaneously” clapping. Nevertheless when Blair turned on the charm and upped the oratory to the US Congress they gave him 19 standing ovations. How many standing ovations do you think Gordon will receive?

UPDATE : Those young staffer’s legs have a lot of energy in them. By Gordon’s standards that was one of his better speeches. Guido counted even the half-hearted stand-ups ,making it 17, BBC reckons 18. Adam Boulton reckoned only half-a-dozen or so proper standing ovations.


Seen Elsewhere

Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Labour’s Left and Right are Growing Restive | Staggers
Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Hungary’s Heir to Thatcher | Conservative Woman
Farage and Salmond Both Want Outopia | David Aaronovitch
More Missing UKIP Money | Times
Church Should Fight Evil of Welfare Dependency | Stephen Glover
1 in 16 Pick Up Infections in Filthy NHS Hospitals | Mail
Let’s Get Evangelical | David Cameron


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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