Owen Smith Staffer Breaks Burnham’s Toe

Andy Burnham angrily told an aide that “some little sh*t” had broken his toe during the Labour v Lobby football match on Sunday. Which member of Her Majesty’s press corp was responsible? Guido can reveal it was in fact an aide to Owen Smith playing as a ringer for the journalists’ team. Who once again ended up on the losing team…

Sharp-elbowed Burnham was also involved in a fracas with a young political correspondent, telling him: “F**k off, you f**king pr*ck”. Calm down, calm down…

Bob Geldof Speaking Gigs: No Charity Requests Please

bob

Fresh from his ill-fated waterborne intervention during the referendum, Bob Geldof is looking for work as a corporate after dinner speaker. Bob’s agent has emailed round promising “Sir Bob’s keynotes are always bespoke and tailored completely to client’s requirements”. Apparently Geldof has “been paying a lot of attention to international politics” and is “very relevant to so many international businesses right now”. Sounds like he really needs the money:

“We also have a couple of other opportunities with Bob for ‘filler’ events where we can consider reduced fees and would already have the international airfares covered either in full or part.”

Geldof’s biography on his agent’s website boasts of his charity work but there is a message for anyone who tries to book him: “Please note: we are unable to assist with any charitable requests”.

bob2

Give him your f***ing money…

Mandy’s Mid-Air Tantrum: “My Favourite Seat is 1A”

PETER MANDELSON PLANE

A co-conspirator points Guido in the direction of a post on the Flyertalk BA Executive Club forum, where jet-setters share stories from 40,000 ft.

My experience was with a well known British Labour Politician, lets just go with Peter M ……

I was flying Qatar, London – Doha , I had rebooked 1A, when I boarded I noticed someone was in my seat, when I asked why, the said passenger told me “Please talk to the crew, this is my favourite seat, I am sure they will find you an alternative”

I knew the land side manager from flying every week for the last 6 months, so I had a word, as the Cabin Crew could not do anything as he had VVIP next to his name apparently, the manager asked for his boarding card, which was in 5D, after another 10 mins discussion which included the said person saying “surely this passenger can move to my seat” obviously thought that possession was 90% of the law. Finally he did move, not a word to my face and spent the rest of the flight refusing all contact with CC including food and drink.

Don’t you know who I used to be?

UPDATE: A second co-conspirator recounts another story about flying with Mandy:

“he has form – tried to get my brother moved from his seat “do you know who I am” and the kicked up a stink about being to stop using his mobile during take-off. Sadly the cc refused said brother’s kind offer to resolve the mobile phone situation.”

Back of the Net! Another Big Murdoch Money Deal For Coogan

Murdoch-hating coke and hookers aficionado Steve Coogan has an impressive record of slagging off Rupe while taking his money. Coogan has banged on about “Rupert Murdoch’s toxic legacy” and the “News International protection racket” for years, all while selling his shows Places of My Life and Mid Morning Matters to Sky for top whack. What do you know, Coogan has just agreed to trouser even more of the ‘Murdoch shilling’:

“Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon are taking their fine dining, gentle bickering, ruminations on getting old and endless impersonations of Michael Caine to Sky TV. After two highly successful series of The Trip on BBC2, the third series will be broadcast on Sky Atlantic.”

Back in 2012, Guido bumped into Coogan at a Hacked Off rally and asked him if he thought the deals made him a massive hypocrite. He comically disagreed:

“I am aware of it but I see a flipside, I think it makes me even braver. It would be even more hypocritical if I took his money and didn’t criticise him. What I’m doing puts me in even more danger.”

Congratulations Steve on your bravery and your pay cheque!

Hain Gravy Train Hypocrisy

On 3 November 2014, not even twelve months ago, Peter Hain told his constituents he believed the second chamber should be elected:

“The Lords are an archaic anomaly which fuels disillusionment with British politics. It exists purely on a democratic deficit which has been allowed to evolve unchecked for centuries… the fact is that people are fed up with an out-of-touch political class and the growing sense that Westminster is failing us all.”

Yesterday, he became Lord Hain of Neath, writing in the Guardian that “it wasn’t an easy decision“, it had required “considerable thought“, but he concluded that “more peers in favour of reform are crucially important“.

What was it about the £300-a-day attendance allowance that changed his mind?

UKIP ‘Protect Our Heritage’ Bag Made in India

unnamed

Commonwealth, at least…

Flailing Burnham Lashes Out

flipflop

Andy Burnham accused David Cameron of “dog-whistle” politics this morning for daring to use the word “swarm” to describe the swarm of migrants swarming the channel. You can almost smell the desperation in the camp as they start lashing out…

Here is Burnham talking about immigration during the 2010 leadership election:

“We were in denial. We were behind the issue all the time, and myths were allowed to develop. There’s still an ambivalence among some in Labour about discussing immigration. I’ve been accused of dog-whistle politics for doing so. But it was the biggest doorstep issue in constituencies where Labour lost. People aren’t racist, but they say it has increased tension, stopped them getting access to housing and lowered their wages.”

Burnham’s campaign is more screwed than Cecil the Lion on a trip to see the dentist.

The Truth About “Dr” Eoin Clarke

eoin-librarian

Much amusement as Andy Burnham’s favourite blogger continues to damage the Labour cause. After Burnham moved yesterday to distance himself from dodgy photoshop nutter ‘Dr’ Eoin Clarke, it emerges that Team Miliband also viewed the proven bullsh*t artist as an asset:

“When one Labour staffer attempted to dismiss Clarke’s latest laughable graphic, the two staffers were heard saying ‘we must not underestimate Éoin Clarke’.”

Guido suspects that there was a touch of academic solidarity occurring here…

Much has been made of ‘Dr’ Eoin’s eminent thesis on radical Irish feminism, but what does he actually do as a day job? His fans are quick to point out his academic background when defending his dodgy data and daft campaigns. He’s not even a real teaching academic:

He’s the librarian and tea-boy at a third rate university

Russell Brand: Absolute Twat

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

The Gospel According to Miliband

And lo, the Lord thy God spoke unto Miliband the Younger, and said: thou must control immigration.

Today’s Observer is not a spoof. It seems Ed has been hanging out with Russell Brand a little too long. Labour really have “commissioned a giant stone inscription bearing Labour’s six election pledges that is set to be installed in the Downing Street Rose Garden if he becomes prime minister.”

Apparently:

“The 8ft 6in-high limestone structure is intended to underline his commitment to keep his promises by having them literally “carved in stone” and visible from the offices inside No 10.”

They might as well write it on the barn wall…[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

HIGHLIGHTS: Miliband Stumbles Exiting Stage Left

After a brutal decking by the Question Time audience, Ed could not get off the stage quick enough:

Oh dear…

This was a hell of a moment:

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Sleazy Labour Candidate Claims Tory Win Will Lead to Suicides

Labour’s grubby candidate for Hendon, the slime-ball former MP Andrew Dismore, has declared vote Labour, or more people will die:

“The graph below shows what has happened to suicide rates in the UK since the Coalition came to power. It was falling during the last two years of Labour government, but almost immediately the Conservatives and LibDem took over the rate began to rise.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Russell Brand on Miliband

These days he has him round for tea, but Russell Brand was scathing about Ed Miliband when speaking to Mehdi Hasan just eighteen months ago:

MH: “Ed Miliband?”

RB: “Pfft. We could do better. We deserve better.”

And again in this Trews episode:

“Miliband’s in trouble.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Tesco Was Doomed

With Tesco posting a record breaking pre-tax loss of £6.4 billion, questions are being ask about where it all went wrong.

The trouble has been brewing for a while at the supermarket giant…

At the beginning of the month Tesco in Kirkcaldy shut their doors for the last time, with the loss of 200 jobs.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Andrew Mitchell Can’t Keep It Up

“I thought you lot were supposed to f**king kicking it…”

Via BBC Brum Votes
[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Jamie Reed Wins Worst Interview of the 2015 Campaign, So Far

Self-proclaimed Labour funny man Jamie Reed had a toe-curling outing on the Daily Politics. He was only saved from death by smugness by the live feed going down…

And here is the whole interview in its terrible glory:

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Tory MP Stewart Jackson on Bob Geldof:

“Now loudmouth multimillionaire soapdodger Bob Geldof is supporting the LibDem campaign in Richmond Park. Haven’t the voters suffered enough?”

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