Monday, December 8, 2014

Brand ‘Threw Curry Sauce’ at Daily Mail Journalist…
Then Tweeted His Mobile Number to 8.7 Million Followers

How does Russell Brand respond to a journalist asking him a question? By tweeting his mobile number to his 8.7 million followers. Guido has obscured the image, but Brand knows Daily Mail reporter Neil Sears’ phone will be ringing off the hook with nutters bombarding him with calls. Was there an ulterior motive? Guido is told Brand and Sears had a run in last week when the reporter doorstepped him to give him right of reply on a story he was planning on running. Brand then allegedly responded by throwing curry sauce all over him…

Monday, December 1, 2014

Goodbye Gordon – Never Forget the Greatest Hits

Gordon Brown will tonight finally announce he is making his lack of parliamentary attendance official by quitting at the next election. This website was taking the p**s out of the former Prime Mentalist way before it was cool, but with the old media doing their favourite McMental greatest hits today, Guido couldn’t resist. Never forget the curse of Jonah:

Or when the day the dam finally burst:

Nor when the public finally saw the two faces of the one-eyed son of a Manse:

So always cherish that expenses video smiling freak-out:

And regret when our nation’s leader was so hated he was booed by its veterans:

This soldier was having none of it:

Calling it ‘Obama beach’ did not help:

But thank you Gordon, for saving the world:

…and for picking your nose live on TV:

We’ll never forget when you forgot you were still an MP:

Or when you took yet another wrong turn:

Nor when the public finally got a glimpse of Psycho Gordon:

And when Andrew Marr asked the wrong bloody question:

And cherish the day Brown finally resigned:

So long then Gordon, you absolute loon. We shall miss you.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Eddie Izzard Returns to Form

eddie[1]Eddie Izzard is a backer of hopeless causes ranging from joining the euro, voting for Ken Livingstone, Gordon Brown, the Yes side in the alternative vote referendum and now of course Ed Miliband. Guido was therefore highly perturbed when Izzard managed to be, for once, on the winning side in the Scottish independence referendum thus devaluing his use as a negative predictive tool. Fear not, all is once again right.

After urging his Twitter followers to vote for the Democrats they had a bad night and the Republicans took control of the Senate…

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Two Tier Westminster

Another stunning Gordon success.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Better Together

Monday, July 7, 2014

Gordon’s Scotland Book Selling As Normal

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Lobby Snorts at Labour Lawbreaker Line

One question has been buzzing around today:

One for Ed’s team to sniff out.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Parliament Clap Map: Watson’s Constituency Top for Chlamydia

Guido has always thought Tom Watson was an irritating tw*t, but now new figures released by the government provide the stats to back it up. The Department of Heath has surveyed 16 to 24 year olds across the country and found the place* with the highest rate of chlamydia is Sandwell, which lies in Watson’s West Bromwich East constituency. Itching their way into second place is Richard Fuller’s Bedford, and you’ll have to beware the crabs at the seaside in Gordon Marsden’s Blackpool. David Lammy down in Haringey is third, with Justin Tomlinson’s Swindon taking fifth place. Big clap for the winner…

*In areas with >5,000 respondents.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Brown UKIP Attack Attempts to Rewrite History

Unionists can pack up and go home: the Prime Mentalist has surfaced up in Scotland to launch Labour’s anti-independence campaign. McMental reckons he has worked out how to win round freedom fighters north of the border, laying into the party that has just won its first MEP in the country. Gordon told United With Labour this morning:

“I detest the politics of UKIP.”

That would be the same Gordon Brown who famously promised “British jobs for British workers”, a slogan deemed too politically incorrect for UKIP to copy. The same Gordon Brown who adopted the BNP’s “Gulags for slags” policy at Labour’s 2009 party conference.

He used to get up to far worse than what he is claiming to detest today…

Friday, May 16, 2014

Axelrod Can’t Even Spell Miliband


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