Stay Klassy

Seems one jet-setting MP has been getting awkwardly close to glamorous pop star Myleene Klass this afternoon:

Of course this is just HearSay…

Lesbian Lovers Outed at Hacking Trial

Laughs in court as cleaner Fernando Nascimento gives evidence at the hacking trial this afternoon. It turns out that found inside a jiffy bag in the underground car park beneath Charlie Brooks’ Chelsea Harbour flat was a copy of a renowned piece of literature concerning Sapphic love. Nascimento was pressed further on Brooks’ copy of Lesbian Lovers:

Counsel: “If you had opened it you wouldn’t have forgotten it.”

Nascimento: “I don’t understand English.”

Counsel: “There wasn’t much writing on the magazine.”

Nascimento: “…If I had seen it I might have taken it.”

The case, er, continues…

Hollande Presser: Best of the Tweets

French journalism at its finest…

Pic via @davidamoyal

WATCH: Grand Mufti-Diver Sex Tape

The grand mufti of Kyrgyzstan, the highest Islamic authority in the country, has quit after a sex tape in which he stars was leaked online. Fun-loving cleric Rakhmatulla-Hajji Egemberdiev defended himself by arguing the woman in the video was simply his second wife. Very niiiice!

Penny Phwoar-daunt

Penny’s first dive will be on ITV on Saturday at 7pm. Guido will be tuning in…

Hollande’s Triple Dip With French Actress

Ooh la la! François Hollande is refusing to deny that he has been bonking glamorous French actress Julie Gayet. Tabloid mag Closer has photos of the pair routinely arriving separately at a Paris flat in the evening before a chauffeur delivers croissants on a motorbike in the morning. Hollande says the revelations are an “attack on the right to privacy”. Which either means it’s true or he put it out there himself to boost his ratings.

Either way, at least we can guarantee this is a policy Miliband won’t be copying…

Wonk Watch: IEA’s Turn

It’s basically Wonk Transfer Deadline Week with more movements announced this afternoon. Ryan Bourne, who has given the CPS its recent oomph, jumps to the Institute of Economic Affairs to be their new Head of Public Policy. Glamorous Steph Lis (above left) is promoted to Head of Comms, replacing PX-bound Ruth Porter. The lovely Christiana Hambro (above right) will be their new Head of External Relations. Further bolstering Mark Littlewood’s harem of twenty-something brainboxes…

Another Champagne Socialist

He doesn’t half pic ’em.

Coke-Snorting Co-op Boss’ Night With Chuka

Rev Flowers has been nicked as Labour’s Co-op embarrassment makes the front pages once again this morning. By far Guido’s favourite story of the day however is this little gem found by the Sun, who have got hold of […]

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Foreign Office SpAd in Racy Photo Investigation

In Serbia sadly. But Vanja Hadzovic, an adviser in the Serbian Ministry of Foreign Affairs, has caused a stir after racy photos of her appeared online: “There are those both within and outside Serbia who might think these pictures are […]

+ READ MORE +

A Very Elegant, Soft Hand in the Till

As another round of expense receipts are published a special prize goes to Tory MP Penny Mordaunt, who claimed £4.37 for some Dove hand cream. Taxpayer-funded moisturising is creative even by their standards…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Sham Pain

“It was hard to stomach David Cameron preaching austerity from a golden throne” writes Guardian contributor Ruth Hardy, who waited tables at the Lord Mayor’s banquet on Monday. Guido commends Ruth for her use of cliché; rolling off all the […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Labour candidate Clive Lewis tells the Staggers:

“I mean, in the multiverse there’s still three universes in a hundred where there’s a Green MP in Norwich, so anything could happen. I could be caught with my pants down behind a goat with Ed Miliband at the other end – well, hopefully that won’t happen.”

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