What would you do if your sexual habits had landed you under a police investigation and seen your professional career crumble? Write a sex novel obviously.
Well you would if you were Luke Bozier, who previously wrote online fiction about his nine inch penis. The first chapter of his racy novel the Adventures of Damian Gold is now online and though most of it is hardly suitable for a family blog, Guido thought he would share one amorous encounter from the scene set in a Starbucks toilets:
“Knock. Knock. Knock … Knock. ‘Come in, quickly.’ ‘How … romantic.’ At this I push Natasha against the wall, into the corner of the bathroom. Her back is to the wall, my hand is gripping her chin and jaw. ‘How about you shut up for ﬁve minutes?’ ‘Ok, I…’ ‘Shut. Up.’ Despite her annoying nature, there is something animal about having sex with this powerful woman. My body responds to her. I hate her but I want her. Still gripping her face, my teeth clench her bottom lip. My right hand is ﬁnding its way up her inner thigh, my foreﬁnger tip-toeing past her garter belt, La Perla no doubt.”
Just who could this mysterious powerful lady with the “quaffed” hair and stylist clothes be? Or should that be coiffed?
Guido salutes the women of the IDF…
The Prime Minister may have been in Eastleigh this afternoon but the LibDem campaign has received the biggest boost today: Stephen Gough, the local Eastleigh naked rambler, has declared he is a member of the LibDems and planted his yellow rosette firmly on his er, poll. They’ve got the big mo…
Guido noted yesterday that the Tories clearly don’t have much hope of their staff getting dates tonight and are throwing a collective bash for parliamentary researchers and secretaries, but now it seems their most high-profile ladies man is also fancy free tonight. Instead of roses and candles, tonight Boris will be leading a tele-canvassing session for the Eastleigh by-election from CCHQ. Girls in pearls have been warned via a party email to get there early “to ensure you don’t miss the great man.”
Form a queue…
One the day we learn Cait Reilly’s experience of working in Poundland helped her to get a job at Morrisons, readers will remember the Sun’s mocked-up naked Prince Harry pics, starring intern Sophie Henderson.
At the time self-appointed left-wing moral arbiters accused the paper of exploiting Sophie, but judging by her tweet this afternoon the internship was well worth it:
Yesterday almost 4,000 voted in Guido’s poll, with 55% choosing to save Page 3. The readers have spoken…
After her last online venture didn’t quite go to plan, fellow Sun on Sunday columnist Louise Mensch has decided to rival Guido’s fashion tips and try her hand as a fashion blogger. Offering a “lazy girl’s guide to gloss”, the new New Yorker styles herself as an “unfashionista”, which translates to maximum style, minimum effort. She even includes a slideshow of her least flattering photos and a John Rentoul-inspired Fashion To Which The Answer Is No. This one can’t go wrong…
With Murdoch hinting that Page 3 is “so last century”, po-faced critics of boobs are campaigning with new vigour today. So much so that Guido is launching #SavePage3.
They do not speak for everyone…
Some excellent investigative journalism out of Serbia, as one TV journalist decides to deploy her most basic journalistic instincts:
Guido’s Column | Sun
NUT’s Loony Defence of Status Quo | Jago Pearson
A Dozen Reasons to Be Cheerful | John McTernan
Political Bloggers Are Equal Opportunities Attackers | ConHome
Michael Gove Should Resign | Conservative Women
Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:
“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.
Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).
Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.
I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”