A classic from Godders’ autobiography.
“My stag night with the compulsory stripper, a drunken night at Rules, London. I appear to have the munchies. My brother-in-law in the background awaits his turn.”
Barbecue sauce-covered student Shayna Weisz brought home the bacon at the PETA Sexiest Vegan 2013 contest in Birmingham today. Tofu competition…
The Chancellor is only commenting through his lawyers – who dismiss Natalie Rowe as a dodgy witness – but the former hooker from that photo has her book out today. Guido will bring you some key extracts today, suitable for a family blog.
Their first meeting:
“Chris met George Osborne while at Oxford; they were both members of the infamous Bullingdon Club. By the time I started seeing William, the three of them were close friends and often turned up at my place together. I called them my ‘Three Musketeers’. Individually, William was ‘Willie Wonka’, George was ‘Georgie Porgie’ and Chris was ‘Christopher Robin’. George first arrived at my place with Chris, along with his friend Philip Delves Broughton, a writer for the New York Times. George was an attractive 22-year-old and it was immediately clear that girls considered him to be highly eligible – they were always vying for his attention. I thought he was quite good-looking but much preferred William. At this time George didn’t show any signs of the defiant character he went on to display as Chancellor of the Exchequer. Chris and William teased him about his background, that he was the “son of a curtain salesman” (his father is the co-founder of Osborne & Little, the fabric and wallpaper designers) and because he didn’t go to Eton. George took it without complaint; he had this ‘look’ he would give me that said ‘How pathetic are they?’”
Osborne gets naked:
“On one particularly drunken evening at my flat in Prince of Wales Terrace, I made a bet with George, Chris and William that they would strip off naked, run out the door, down the street to a building that was fifty metres away and back again. The first one back would get a ‘prize’. Eventually, after a bit of cajoling, the three of them agreed, stripped off and waited by the front door. “Ready?” I said, my hand on the door handle. “Set… Go!” I threw open the door and off they ran down the front steps, bottoms wobbling as they pounded down the street. And, of course, I locked the door and went back inside. I watched as they came running back, cheering them on. They all arrived more or less at the same time and couldn’t believe what I’d done to them. “Please let me back in!” the future Chancellor of the Exchequer pleaded. They all begged, hands over their willies, and I just watched, laughing. I laughed so much that I collapsed and thought I might even wee myself. Luckily for them, my building was in a quiet cul-de-sac. I gave them a good few minutes, which must have seemed like hours, god knows what any passer-by would have made of three naked men standing in the street. Finally, when I’d decided they’d had enough, I let them back in. They loved it and were all laughing afterwards – they’d enjoyed the joke.”
Rowe is very clear that the character of “Joe”, a young politician with the safe word “Mary” is not Osborne.
Though regular readers will remember the word “Louise” from a while back…
Gloria De Piero claims that a paper is after topless photos of her:
“I have talked about why I posed for these pictures in interviews before. I thought at the time it was a way of improving my circumstances. This is part of my story and part of who I am. I can’t change it now but this happened over twenty years ago.”
“No one should have to worry that something they did when they were young might prevent them from serving their community or getting involved in politics at a local or national level.”
This is now part of Team Miliband’s mantra; Gloria’s comments have been picked up by all sorts, from Ed’s Political Secretary to his trainee attack dog:
— Anna Yearley (@AnnaYearley) October 17, 2013
— Jonathan Ashworth MP (@JonAshworth) October 17, 2013
So Labour won’t be mentioning anyone’s background again, or something that happened before they came into politics.
Lets see how well this ‘new politics’ holds up with the upcoming publication of Natalie Rowe’s book about George Osborne.
It seems like the Attitude Awards were rather jolly.
Via: Daily Mail
Big transfer news in Wonk Land this afternoon as Ruth Porter jumps from Director of Communications at the Institute of Economic Affairs to take on the Head of Economics and Social Policy brief at deadly rivals Policy Exchange.
Porter, who has been a key part of the IEA’s recent renaissance, is said to be politically ambitious and PX is a natural feeder into the Tories. A source there chuckled this afternoon “she’s gone from the Premiership to the Champions League now”. This story has legs.
A first look at that 2015 winning team:
Chuka is missing. Obviously he wouldn’t be seen dead with this ‘trash’. But where’s Lord Wood?
Scoop from Trending Central:
Former London deputy mayor has given a new meaning to being an Assembly “Member” after accidently uploading pictures of his penis to Facebook for all his followers to see.
Barnes, 66, who is the Conservative member for Hillingdon and Ealing in London uploaded the pictures moments ago in what appears to be a rather drastic error caused by his iPhone’s auto upload settings.
Viewers were clearly disgusted and angry, as some drew parallels between his gaffe and that of former New York Mayor candidate Anthony Weiner.
Seems the auto-upload-to-Facebook function on the app gets set to “on” after upgrading to iOS 7 on iPhones. Be careful taking selfies if you don’t want everyone in London to see them.
More on Trending Central
Every year Guido likes to bring you the most important news from the leader’s speeches at conference: the fashion. Today he can reveal that Mrs Clegg will be wearing a Zara top with Topshop shoes.
This is to signify the strong links between Spanish design (Zara) and British high street manufacturing. Apparently.
And now you know.
A co-conspirator emails in wondering who the red-box clutching Minister is that they found on Google Street View:
Guido wonders what Jeremy Browne was doing popping into a Paddington Hotel in the middle of the day…
UPDATE: A spokesman for civil liberties campaign group Big Brother Watch says:
“Given the comprehensive privacy-protecting processing Google has done as part of Street View, we have no idea how Guido worked out this was Jeremy Browne.”
F**k Embargoes | Martin Belam
How Many Seats Will SNP Cost Labour? | Staggers
Nick Clegg is a “W**ker” | Mail
Continuity Gove | PLMR
Sunday Mirror Should Be Applauded | Sandi Dunn
Hancock in “Labour is Full of Queers” Blunder | Scrapbook
In Farageland | London Review of Books
What About the Mums? | Kathy Gyngell
Tories Send Cameron Clear Message Re Gove | Speccie
Lets Hear it for Theresa May | Allison Pearson
Dave Takes Advantage of Economic Trust | Jonathan Freedland
Following the revelations about Brooks Newmark’s paisley pyjamas, Hugo Rifkind wonders in this week’s Speccie what other politicians wear in bed:
“Chuka Umunna will sleep in Calvin Klein briefs, all the better to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror on his ceiling.”