“Grip Me, Whip Me!”

Here is “operatic champagne socialist” Melinda Hughes – riding crop and fishnets included – in Guido’s favourite musical election special yet.

Miliband Beats His Wife

As does Farage.

But Miriam Clegg really thrashes Nick in the Daily Mail poll of Leaders vs Spouses

Blue-KIP

By day, John Langley is UKIP’s deputy chairman in Bristol, also standing for the party in next month’s city elections. By night he is Johnny Rockard, star of “Johnny Rockard gives Welsh BDSM MILF Bella pain and pleasure” and “Johnny Rockard and Xzena Porn Warrior Princess Extreme”, and other such quality motion pictures.

Well at least he hasn’t said anything racist on Twitter…

Who Was Ed’s Secret Girlfriend in 2005?

“I first met Ed when I went to a friend’s house for dinner,” Justine Miliband tells the Mirror today:

“I was interested in him, I thought he was good looking and clever and seemed to be unattached. But we just went down a conversational cul-de-sac. Apparently we had nothing in common. He wanted to talk about economics – one of my least favourite subjects. None of our conversations went anywhere. Then I found out he was secretly going out with the woman who had invited us for dinner. I was furious.”

But who was Ed’s secret lover at the time? According to John Rentoul it was Stephanie Flanders…

Flanders has admitted to dating both Ed Balls and Ed Miliband, though friends had always claimed it was in the nineties. Curious…

“Could the secrecy have been because he was a Treasury special adviser Stephanie Flanders was BBC economics journalist”, mused Rentoul on Twitter today. Questions to which the answer is oooooh.

Page 3 Totty Back in Print

… In today’s Guardian…

Crosby Declares: “I’d S**k Off David Cameron”

It’s all go down under. In a wide-ranging pre-election intervention, the cast of Geordie Shore, MTV’s Newcastle-based genitourinary gorefest, have had their say on the party leaders. True blue Charlotte Crosby brings the PM some positive news, at last:

“I’d s**k off David Cameron”


One way to shut him up…

Theresa May’s Busty Budget Cleavage Divides Internet

How naughty of some social media users not to focus on George Osborne and his Long Term Economic Plan, rather debate the relative merits of Theresa May’s cleavage:

Even Edwina Currie got in on the action:

But the BBC coverage hardly helped matters, constantly panning the camera toward the Home Secretary. This is unedited footage:

We report, you decide…

Kensington Rumour Mill: Late New Entry

There’s a surprise new entry in the race to be the next Tory MP for Kensington: the glamorous union-slayer Simone Finn. Despite being an adviser to the Cabinet Office, Finn is not currently seen as the “Downing Street candidate” and has business background. But the mother of two is an old friend of Dave’s. Regular readers will remember her though as being central to Frankie Maude’s trade union reforms. She’s feisty…

Interview With Robyn Exton: The Most Famous Lesbian in Tech

 

In 2013 Robyn Exton launched “Dattch,” a lesbian dating app that allowed horny women to discover other like-minded women near by. This week the company pivoted and became “Her,” an all-encompassing lesbian app the aims to become the one-stop online space for queer woman worldwide.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Salma Yaqoob in Hijab Porn Shock

yaqoob hijab

Salma Yaqoob, the loony former leader of Respect, came to prominence as the hijab wearing Muslim woman elected to Birmingham city council. Yaqoob has just followed @DesiCruise10inc on Twitter, a porn account dedicated to posting adult pictures of “babes” wearing hijabs.[…]

+ READ MORE +

One Peer A-Perving

  • Labour Lord’s Outside Interests in ‘High Class Escorts’ and ‘Humiliation’
  • Lord Berekely Insists I certainly haven’t used their services”

Labour Lord (Tony) Berkeley likes to keep up with his interests on Twitter. The former chairman of the European Rail Freight Association follows @EurostarUK, @RailfutureFret, @RMTunion and, er, @MidwestEscorts.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Too Pretty For Politics?

We wouldn’t have Mrs D any other way…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Mrs Danczuk: Harman “Categorically” Did Say Those Words

Harriet Harman is embroiled in another row this afternoon after councillor Karen Danczuk accused her of telling porkies. Yesterday Mrs D tweeted:

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Top Tory Caught With Host’s Au Pair at Dinner Party

Which top Tory recently shocked his dinner party hosts with his inability to keep it in his trousers during a north London kitchen supper? “Popping to the loo” halfway through dinner, the renowned lothario disappeared for so long that the host slipped upstairs to check everything was ok, only to find our mystery man boshing the au pair. […]

+ READ MORE +

Daylight Rubbery! Condoms in Venezuela Cost $755

Retailers in Venezuela will soon be wrapping up their businesses as the price of condoms in the joyless socialist dystopia climax at $755 a pack. The population is split and the secret police have been unsheathed to restore order, accusing businesses of running Trojan hoarding operations.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Lily Cole’s Taxpayer-Funded Website Descends Into Farce

lily-cole

Eyebrows were raised when millionaire supermodel Lily Cole was awarded £200,000 of taxpayers’ money in 2013 to fund her “altruism-based social network” Impossible.com. The doll-faced entrepreneur spent her share of a £10 million Cabinet Office fund called “Innovation in Giving” to develop an unholy mash-up between freecycle and Cragislist, where users can offer things to other people in exchange for a thank you.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Heather Wheeler talks to Burton Mail about her tweet…

“It was a tongue in cheek pop after the European Parliament tweet – it was purely that. I also wanted to congratulate Team GB on a brilliant result and thirdly congratulate the Commonwealth countries who also did very well. Fourth, I am also looking forwarded to establishing new trade agreements. That was it – nothing more. Let’s just enjoy the summer!”

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