Networked Boobs

connected bikini

Techno has long been sceptical of the much hyped wearable tech trend, but a new product from a French has convinced him of the error of his way – behold the bikini connecté.

The connected bikini comes complete with a waterproof UV sensor that tells your smartphone when you need to apply sun cream. Yours for only €149…

 

DSK Acquitted of Aggravated Pimping

dominique-strauss-kahn-settles-maid-case

The former IMF just escaped jail.

A job at Fifa next?

Blair’s Two Hour Liaison with Bingbing

BLAIR+BINGBING

Tony Blair scheduled a two hour afternoon slot into his diary to enjoy the company of alluring Chinese actress Li Bingbing during a 2012 business trip to China. According to documents seen by the Telegraph, Blair touched down in Beijing and raced straight to see Ms Bingbing before the grind of meeting CEO’s and politicians began.

Li Bingbing

Blair first met Bingbing – who is a friend of Wendi Deng – at a climate change campaign in 2009 and has been spotted regularly with the Chinese siren since. Bada Bingbing, bada boom…

Tory MEP Shares Fanny With Kanye West

fanny kanye west

Geoffrey Van Orden’s wife looked rather smitten with Kanye West in a photo shared by the Conservative MEP on Facebook recently.

Fanny Van Orden called Kanye her “new best friend” and described the global superstar as “a real gentleman” and “very charming”. 

Though Guido is guessing anyone called Fanny is probably not that well acquainted with Kanye’s more ‘charming’ anatomical lyrics…

Via Ned Donovan

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Grecian Edition

birbili

The latest addition to our run down of the world’s hottest environment ministers is Tina Birbili, who was made the first Greek Minister for the Environment, Energy and Climate Change back in 2009. Things have moved on in Greek politics and Tina now finds herself holed up in a luxury compound in Nairobi, earning $141,227 a year as the UN’s Executive Secretary to the Vienna Convention for the Protection of the Ozone Layer and its Montreal Protocol on Substances that Deplete the Ozone Layer. Kerching!

Antoinette Sandbach Sabotages Tug of War

boots1

Match report from Macmillan’s annual Parliamentary Tug of War last night:

“The stakes were high for the Commons men who, led by Mike Penning MP, were fighting to secure the winning title for a sixth successive year. The Lords men, who were led jointly by Lord Dobbs and Lord Collins of Highbury, put up a good fight but were no match for the MPs who pulled to victory, with the likes of Chris Law MP and Alec Shelbrooke MP at the end of the rope.”

Meanwhile the female MP’s team lost again, amid whispers that the team’s leggy front woman Antoinette Sandbach sabotaged her own side by turning up in a pair of calf-length street boots. One onlooker was heard muttering:”it’s like turning up in high heels” as the ladies trudged away with their runners up medal…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Double Trouble Edition

danish ministers

Our series of saucy environment ministers continues with a two in one special from Denmark.

On the left is current Minister for the Environment Kirsten Brosbøl.

The lady gazing lovingly into her eyes on the right is her predecessor Ida Auken.

Despite being members of different parties, they have put aside partisanship to work together for the greater good of mother earth. Nordic beauties…

How FIFA Tried To Distract the World at Its Annual Conference Today

14 FIFA officials have been charged with corruption and their President is facing calls to resign, but that hasn’t stopped football’s governing body from rolling out the red carpet for the opening ceremony of its annual conference today.

Maybe they were hoping the FBI would be distracted by their glamarous host:

fifa6

Or perhaps these scantily clad female dancers:

fifa8

If not, there was this dude singing Swiss power ballads:

fifa20

With a ballerina:

fifa12

And this lady blowing some sort of Swiss national horn:

fifa1

And this guy playing the drums:

fifa7

All culminating bizarrely with a lady pirouetting in a circle again and again:

fifa9

And fire. Lots of fire.

You wouldn’t know their bosses had just had their doors kicked down in morning raids, would you?

BoJo: I am Back

Bow down… but seriously, check out that sexy look from Rees Mogg. Ohhh.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Energy Minister Totty Watch Continued: Dutch Edition

totty bike

Continuing our current series of saucy energy/environment minsters, Gaia is pleased to introduce Melanie Henriëtte Schultz van Haegen-Maas Geesteranus. She may have been named after an exotic ice-cream, but the Dutch Minister of Infrastructure and the Environment ain’t no soft […]

+ READ MORE +

Silvio Berlusconi Joins Instagram

So, Silvio Berlusconi has joined the picture sharing social media network Instagram and is uploading pictures of himself with his dogs Dudu, Dudina & Harley:

The other recurring theme so far appears to be his 28 year old girlfriend Francesca:[…]

+ READ MORE +

Joanna Shields Shuffled Upstairs as New Internet Safety Minister

Joanna Shields-1

Digital Dave’s technology guru Joanna Shields has left her role as chair of Tech City UK and will be shuffled upstairs as the new Minister for Internet Safety and Security. Baroness Shields, who once headed up Bebo, Facebook Europe and […]

+ READ MORE +



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