Police Investigate Sexy Shower Scene MP

It’s been a busy first few weeks for new Plymouth MP Johnny Mercer. First he put his wife on the public payroll, then hit the headlines for lathering up topless in a shower gel advert, and now he is under investigation by the police. That escalated quickly.

The preened poser has lawyered up after bitter opponents called the cops in over his election expenditure. Mercer mysteriously told supporters he needed “some manpower, and a decent dose of Commando Spirit” on “the night-time of 6/7 May”.

The next day, polling day, his defeated Labour opponent Alison Seabeck claims she “suddenly woke up with every bridge and every lamppost covered in posters and fliers”, claiming this “does influence people significantly and it is improper”.

Mercer himself paid for the £1,642 clean up out of his own pocket and insists:

“I am confident I haven’t broken the law and this allegation is being dealt with by my lawyers.”

Well, he looked clean in the advert…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Phwoarr-za Italia Edition

italina totty

Today’s contribution to our occasional series of sexy environment ministers is the smoking hot Stefania Prestigiacomo. Stefania was the Italian Minister for Environment, Land and Sea until 2011 and used her time in office to agitate for a pan-global environmental organisation that would be able to respond to global crisis’. She’s also fond of hanging out in a bikini…

StefaniaPrestigiacomoincostumeaPanarea (1)

Bunga bunga!

50 Shades of Nanny Statism

Erotische Fantasien 033

The German “Youth Protection Authority” have ruled that websites can only offer sexually explicit ebooks for download between the hours of between 10pm and 6am. The decision was made following a complaint that children were getting their digital mitts on a popular ebook titled “Schlauchgelüste”…

How German bureaucrats, who don’t have the best reputation with the whole banning books thing, will decide what is ‘explicit’ has not been explained. It’s rumoured hausfrau’s are digitally stockpiling Mills & Boon in preparation for lonely afternoons…

Voice of Angel to Critics: “Hopefully Your Dick Will Fall Off”

church

Charlotte Church spent her Saturday marching with the People’s Assembly Against Austerity – whose aims include “increasing taxes on the super-rich” and “closing tax loopholes”.

As Guido revealed in the Sun on Sunday, this is the same Cardiff crooner who is the director of five companies all registered to the London address of Thomas Harris Accountants.

Alligator Wine Records Ltd, Charlotte Church Ltd, PACC Music Limited, Bounce Publishing Limited and Chick Flicks Ltd are all conveniently based at the firm’s offices in Merton Abbey Mills. Thomas Harris boast on their website:

“Lowering and deferring tax is, of course, a key aim… We can make your capital as tax-efficient as possible, taking advantage of allowances and reliefs of which many people are unaware, and ensuring you pay no more tax than you need… [including] tax-efficient gifting strategies”

What would her new comrades say about such sharp practices?

Seems Charlotte is finding her newfound critics rather taxing:

Voice of an angel, vocabulary of a drain…

Energy Minister Totty Watch: Norwegian Lumberjack Edition

borten

The latest offering in our series of sexy energy ministers is former Norwegian Minister of Petroleum and Energy Ola Borten Mo. Posing here with his wife Anna, Ola shows off the steely disposition with which he pushes through his isolationist policies. Apparently the picture was captioned with “useful facts about forestry significance as regional industry”…

ola borten

Ola is known in Norwegian political circles as “Christian Grå”…

ola borten moe

Junior parliamentary staffers are warned not to look into his eyes…

Networked Boobs

connected bikini

Techno has long been sceptical of the much hyped wearable tech trend, but a new product from a French has convinced him of the error of his way – behold the bikini connecté.

The connected bikini comes complete with a waterproof UV sensor that tells your smartphone when you need to apply sun cream. Yours for only €149…

 

DSK Acquitted of Aggravated Pimping

dominique-strauss-kahn-settles-maid-case

The former IMF just escaped jail.

A job at Fifa next?

Blair’s Two Hour Liaison with Bingbing

BLAIR+BINGBING

Tony Blair scheduled a two hour afternoon slot into his diary to enjoy the company of alluring Chinese actress Li Bingbing during a 2012 business trip to China. According to documents seen by the Telegraph, Blair touched down in Beijing and raced straight to see Ms Bingbing before the grind of meeting CEO’s and politicians began.

Li Bingbing

Blair first met Bingbing – who is a friend of Wendi Deng – at a climate change campaign in 2009 and has been spotted regularly with the Chinese siren since. Bada Bingbing, bada boom…

Tory MEP Shares Fanny With Kanye West

fanny kanye west

Geoffrey Van Orden’s wife looked rather smitten with Kanye West in a photo shared by the Conservative MEP on Facebook recently.

Fanny Van Orden called Kanye her “new best friend” and described the global superstar as “a real gentleman” and[…]

+ READ MORE +

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Grecian Edition

birbili

The latest addition to our run down of the world’s hottest environment ministers is Tina Birbili, who was made the first Greek Minister for the Environment, Energy and Climate Change back in 2009. Things have moved on in Greek politics […]

+ READ MORE +

Antoinette Sandbach Sabotages Tug of War

boots1

Match report from Macmillan’s annual Parliamentary Tug of War last night:

“The stakes were high for the Commons men who, led by Mike Penning MP, were fighting to secure the winning title for a sixth successive year. The Lords men,

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Double Trouble Edition

danish ministers

Our series of saucy environment ministers continues with a two in one special from Denmark.

On the left is current Minister for the Environment Kirsten Brosbøl.

The lady gazing lovingly into her eyes on the right is her predecessor Ida […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Liam Fox shreds Cameron’s Calais scaremongering:

“Sad and disappointed to see our Prime Minister stoop to this level of scaremongering, especially as he knows the Calais agreement is nothing to do with the EU and agreed between the two govts”

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