Soap Opera: Sexy Shower MP’s Story is Sud Dud

New Tory MP Johnny Mercer got Westminster into a lather over his sexy shower advert, but was it all a sham(poo)?

Mercer’s bubble seems to have burst after fitness trainer Vince Ciolino (below, right) came forward to the Plymouth Herald to pour cold water on his steamy claim to fame:

“Johnny and I did the final shoot together, then the advert was aired and it seems they have used my naked scenes and Johnny’s clothed scenes. There are two different people in that advert.

I suppose it’s a little bit of exposure for him to say that he was in an advert. But I run a fitness business and my clients know the way that I do my modelling work, it goes on my reputation. It’s detrimental to my reputation that the advert was put out and it’s someone else.”

Sud-denly, Johnny admits: “it looks pretty much exactly like me. But if it is somebody else that’s good, hopefully the Mickey taking can stop now”.

What a shower…

Brooks ‘Likes’ Another Mystery Social Media Blonde

You would have thought old Brooks Newmark would have learned his lesson about mysterious blondes on social media. So it’s a little surprising to see what he has been up to on LinkedIn:

“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude” says Brooks’ seductive model friend. Indeed…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Left Wing Firebrand Edition

delphine totty

Say hello to Delphine Batho, the latest addition to our increasingly popular series of Environment Minister beauties. A lifetime left-wing activist, Delphine became the French Minister of the Ecology in 2012 but was fired by President Hollande after she criticised cuts to her department.

She also received criticism for hogging a “logement intermédiaire” apartment in Paris intended for low-income famlies. What’s French for Bob Crow?

Tech Totty Watch: France’s ‘Miss Louboutin’

fleur

Following on from the popularity of Gaia’s Energy Minister Totty Watch, Techno thought he would give readers his own offering.

Meet Fleur Pellerin, aka Miss Louboutin, the minxy Minister of Culture and Communication who was instrumental in pushing for a pro-startup agenda as Minister the Digital Economy. A staunch privacy advocate, Fleur has been rocking the French establishment with her modernising approach to politics. Voulez-vous coder avec moi…

Police Investigate Sexy Shower Scene MP

It’s been a busy first few weeks for new Plymouth MP Johnny Mercer. First he put his wife on the public payroll, then hit the headlines for lathering up topless in a shower gel advert, and now he is under investigation by the police. That escalated quickly.

The preened poser has lawyered up after bitter opponents called the cops in over his election expenditure. Mercer mysteriously told supporters he needed “some manpower, and a decent dose of Commando Spirit” on “the night-time of 6/7 May”.

The next day, polling day, his defeated Labour opponent Alison Seabeck claims she “suddenly woke up with every bridge and every lamppost covered in posters and fliers”, claiming this “does influence people significantly and it is improper”.

Mercer himself paid for the £1,642 clean up out of his own pocket and insists:

“I am confident I haven’t broken the law and this allegation is being dealt with by my lawyers.”

Well, he looked clean in the advert…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Phwoarr-za Italia Edition

italina totty

Today’s contribution to our occasional series of sexy environment ministers is the smoking hot Stefania Prestigiacomo. Stefania was the Italian Minister for Environment, Land and Sea until 2011 and used her time in office to agitate for a pan-global environmental organisation that would be able to respond to global crisis’. She’s also fond of hanging out in a bikini…

StefaniaPrestigiacomoincostumeaPanarea (1)

Bunga bunga!

50 Shades of Nanny Statism

Erotische Fantasien 033

The German “Youth Protection Authority” have ruled that websites can only offer sexually explicit ebooks for download between the hours of between 10pm and 6am. The decision was made following a complaint that children were getting their digital mitts on a popular ebook titled “Schlauchgelüste”…

How German bureaucrats, who don’t have the best reputation with the whole banning books thing, will decide what is ‘explicit’ has not been explained. It’s rumoured hausfrau’s are digitally stockpiling Mills & Boon in preparation for lonely afternoons…

Voice of Angel to Critics: “Hopefully Your Dick Will Fall Off”

church

Charlotte Church spent her Saturday marching with the People’s Assembly Against Austerity – whose aims include “increasing taxes on the super-rich” and “closing tax loopholes”.

As Guido revealed in the Sun on Sunday, this is the same Cardiff crooner who is the director of five companies all registered to the London address of Thomas Harris Accountants.

Alligator Wine Records Ltd, Charlotte Church Ltd, PACC Music Limited, Bounce Publishing Limited and Chick Flicks Ltd are all conveniently based at the firm’s offices in Merton Abbey Mills. Thomas Harris boast on their website:

“Lowering and deferring tax is, of course, a key aim… We can make your capital as tax-efficient as possible, taking advantage of allowances and reliefs of which many people are unaware, and ensuring you pay no more tax than you need… [including] tax-efficient gifting strategies”

What would her new comrades say about such sharp practices?

Seems Charlotte is finding her newfound critics rather taxing:

Voice of an angel, vocabulary of a drain…

Energy Minister Totty Watch: Norwegian Lumberjack Edition

borten

The latest offering in our series of sexy energy ministers is former Norwegian Minister of Petroleum and Energy Ola Borten Mo. Posing here with his wife Anna, Ola shows off the steely disposition with which he pushes through his isolationist […]

+ READ MORE +

Networked Boobs

connected bikini

Techno has long been sceptical of the much hyped wearable tech trend, but a new product from a French has convinced him of the error of his way – behold the bikini connecté.

The connected bikini comes complete with […]

+ READ MORE +

DSK Acquitted of Aggravated Pimping

dominique-strauss-kahn-settles-maid-case

The former IMF just escaped jail.

A job at Fifa next?[…]

+ READ MORE +

Blair’s Two Hour Liaison with Bingbing

BLAIR+BINGBING

Tony Blair scheduled a two hour afternoon slot into his diary to enjoy the company of alluring Chinese actress Li Bingbing during a 2012 business trip to China. According to documents seen by the Telegraph, Blair touched down in […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

FT leader on Labour’s “Jewish problem”:

“If Mr Corbyn had serious aspirations to leadership he would tackle this problem head-on. Instead it falls to Labour’s moderates to ask themselves how long they will tolerate this state of affairs. Edmund Burke wrote that “the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”. Labour’s inaction over anti-Semitism is a stigma that must now be erased by the good people in its ranks.”

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