Friday, November 22, 2013

Coke-Snorting Co-op Boss’ Night With Chuka

Rev Flowers has been nicked as Labour’s Co-op embarrassment makes the front pages once again this morning. By far Guido’s favourite story of the day however is this little gem found by the Sun, who have got hold of Facebook messages written by Flowers in which he lusts over a certain party loving Labour frontbencher:

Thank god he didn’t favourite anything on Twitter…

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Foreign Office SpAd in Racy Photo Investigation

In Serbia sadly. But Vanja Hadzovic, an adviser in the Serbian Ministry of Foreign Affairs, has caused a stir after racy photos of her appeared online: “There are those both within and outside Serbia who might think these pictures are not suitable for a woman who is hoping to excel at diplomacy,” said one foreign ministry source to the Mail.

Guido disagrees.

Excellent diplomatic skills on display. 

Monday, November 18, 2013

A Very Elegant, Soft Hand in the Till

As another round of expense receipts are published a special prize goes to Tory MP Penny Mordaunt, who claimed £4.37 for some Dove hand cream. Taxpayer-funded moisturising is creative even by their standards…

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Sham Pain

“It was hard to stomach David Cameron preaching austerity from a golden throne” writes Guardian contributor Ruth Hardy, who waited tables at the Lord Mayor’s banquet on Monday. Guido commends Ruth for her use of cliché; rolling off all the old classics about “the cuts”, it being “like a scene from Downton Abbey”, and not forgetting the requisite moan about a “champagne reception”. Apparently not a fan of the stuff, she slams Dave for “the idiocy of calling for cuts while wearing a white tie”, somewhat bravely asking “has the man never heard of Twitter?” Well, talking of Twitter, here is a picture Ruth tweeted of herself drinking champagne in what could be “a scene from Downton Abbey”:

Has she “never heard of Twitter”?

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Laura K Heads Back to the Beeb
Guido’s Favourite Presenter Joins Newsnight

laura k

Great signing by Newsnight:

Well that’s going to keep Guido up right until the end…

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

That Clegg SpAd Hypocrisy in Full

SpAd turned politician Nick Clegg’s pre-election promise to stop advisers being paid for by the taxpayer looks even emptier than ever today. Fun-loving Emma Gilpin-Jacobs becomes his 20th taxpayer-funded SpAd, appointed Clegg’s director of communications. The LibDems now have an average of five SpAds per cabinet minister, double the average of the Tories. At a total cost to the taxpayer of well over a million pounds a year. Government of the SpAds, by the SpAds, for the SpAds…

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Full Moon at Parliament This Evening

No explanation needed.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

PHOTO: Godfrey Bloom Motorboating Stripper

A classic from Godders’ autobiography.

“My stag night with the compulsory stripper, a drunken night at Rules, London. I appear to have the munchies. My brother-in-law in the background awaits his turn.”

Why not.

Via @asabenn.

Monday, October 21, 2013

UK’s Sexiest Naked Vegan Milks Attention

Barbecue sauce-covered student Shayna Weisz brought home the bacon at the PETA Sexiest Vegan 2013 contest in Birmingham today. Tofu competition…

Osborne: the Naked “Son of a Curtain Salesman”

The Chancellor is only commenting through his lawyers – who dismiss Natalie Rowe as a dodgy witness – but the former hooker from that photo has her book out today. Guido will bring you some key extracts today, suitable for a family blog.

Their first meeting:

“Chris met George Osborne while at Oxford; they were both members of the infamous Bullingdon Club. By the time I started seeing William, the three of them were close friends and often turned up at my place together. I called them my ‘Three Musketeers’. Individually, William was ‘Willie Wonka’, George was ‘Georgie Porgie’ and Chris was ‘Christopher Robin’. George first arrived at my place with Chris, along with his friend Philip Delves Broughton, a writer for the New York Times. George was an attractive 22-year-old and it was immediately clear that girls considered him to be highly eligible – they were always vying for his attention. I thought he was quite good-looking but much preferred William. At this time George didn’t show any signs of the defiant character he went on to display as Chancellor of the Exchequer. Chris and William teased him about his background, that he was the “son of a curtain salesman” (his father is the co-founder of Osborne & Little, the fabric and wallpaper designers) and because he didn’t go to Eton. George took it without complaint; he had this ‘look’ he would give me that said ‘How pathetic are they?’”

Osborne gets naked:

“On one particularly drunken evening at my flat in Prince of Wales Terrace, I made a bet with George, Chris and William that they would strip off naked, run out the door, down the street to a building that was fifty metres away and back again. The first one back would get a ‘prize’. Eventually, after a bit of cajoling, the three of them agreed, stripped off and waited by the front door. “Ready?” I said, my hand on the door handle. “Set… Go!” I threw open the door and off they ran down the front steps, bottoms wobbling as they pounded down the street. And, of course, I locked the door and went back inside. I watched as they came running back, cheering them on. They all arrived more or less at the same time and couldn’t believe what I’d done to them. “Please let me back in!” the future Chancellor of the Exchequer pleaded. They all begged, hands over their willies, and I just watched, laughing. I laughed so much that I collapsed and thought I might even wee myself. Luckily for them, my building was in a quiet cul-de-sac. I gave them a good few minutes, which must have seemed like hours, god knows what any passer-by would have made of three naked men standing in the street. Finally, when I’d decided they’d had enough, I let them back in. They loved it and were all laughing afterwards – they’d enjoyed the joke.”

Rowe is very clear that the character of “Joe”, a young politician with the safe word “Mary” is not Osborne.

Though regular readers will remember the word “Louise” from a while back…


Seen Elsewhere

Harriet Harman Offers Less Than the Living Wage | Owen Bennett
Fallon’s Red Arrow Spin Unravels | Wings Over Scotland
What is the LibDems’ Problem With “The Jews” | Speccie
Image is the Least of Ed’s Worries | Speccie
The Most Politically Cynical Speech I Have Ever Seen | Dan Hodges
Full Sunday Sport Style Guide Email | MediaGuido
What if a Hamas Rocket Hit a BA Plane? | Richard Littlejohn
Sunday Sport Swearing Style Guide | Popbitch
Tory MP’s Love of Astrology | BBC
No.10 Shouldn’t Get Excited at Growth Figures | Mark Wallace
Feminist Lobby Killing Meritocracy | Kathy Gyngell


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New Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond has big ambitions in his first meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu today:

“I came to bring this conflict to an end.”



Christie Malry @fcablog

Ed Miliband does photo oops, not photo ops


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