Thursday, July 17, 2014

One in the Eye for the Sisterhood

https://twitter.com/HelenGoodmanMP/status/489731243605774336

Nettle-sucker Helen Goodman has strayed from the Labour line on the reshuffle. She really hates Tories…

UPDATE: It’s gone.

A Labour Party spokesperson said:

“The Labour Party’s view is that David Cameron’s promises on increasing the representation of women are a sham. He said a third of all his ministers would be women. Fewer than one-in-four are. It is David Cameron who has failed.”

That doesn’t really add weight to Goodman’s apology.

UPDATE II:

Monday, July 7, 2014

Curvy Alan Rusbridger Gets the Full Mail Online Treatment

Camped outside celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse,  Dave and SamCam’s fav in Marylebone for date night, the snappers spotted Nigella Lawson with an scruffy looking  lunch partner. But who could this “Harry Potter look-a-like” be?

“Alan, her lunchtime companion, wore a crumpled navy suit and a blue shirt which hung to his curves. His hair looked in need of a good brushing and he wore his recognisable round glasses – making him look like the fictional wizard.”

5 points to Slytherin.

Carla Buzasi OUT at HuffPoUK
Soft-core Editor Returns To Fashion World 

The Huffington Post UK’s founding editor Carla Buzasi is out of the job. Media Guardian remain tactful:

“The move is a blow to HuffPo UK, which tried to keep Buzasi’s hankering for life beyond news sated by promoting her to lead global editorial strategy for lifestyle…”

Poor Mehdi seems to have been overlooked for the top job.

Perhaps new editor Stephen Hull could clear up the vanity project’s greatest conundrum. Why does a website that campaigns against Page 3 and the exploitation of women, rely so heavily on pictures of naked girls to boost their flat-lining traffic numbers? Here are Carla’s Greatest Tits:

Boobing Buzasi claimed to be fighting the feminist cause, while editing a site littered with content every day that bordered on soft porn.

So long Carla, it’s been tit-tastic.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Year of Code’s Lottie Dexter is Matt Hancock’s New SpAd

Lots of people were very mean about the Year of Code when its director Lottie Dexter admitted that she was unable to code on Newsnight, but was learning. Well it turns out that the campaign’s mantra – that learning to code is a ticket to higher places – really is true. Just 4 months ago Lottie told Paxman:

“Over this year I’m going to see exactly what I can achieve, so who knows I might be the next Zuckerberg in 12 months time.”

Not quite, but Guido hears she is off to fill the newly appointed position of Matthew Hancock’s special adviser…

Monday, June 23, 2014

Westminster Tories Grooming Young Interns

The applications must be flying in for what is surely the dream job for any fresh-faced young Tory wannabe: election intern at the Cities of London and Westminster Conservative Association. Based in Belgravia, the successful candidate – unpaid, naturally – must be “flexible”, comfortable interacting”, have an “ability to do multiple tasks”, is promised an “intimate understanding” of local politics and, somewhat ominously, that “we are fun”.

Above all else, however, the advert lets it be known it is of the utmost importance that applicants are:

“well-groomed”

Well turned out, dapper young gentlemen only may apply here

Tory MEP Troughers Try to Shut Down Dubrovnik Junket Story

Fourteen Tory MEPs took the gravy train to Croatia last week, recovering from the gruelling Euro election campaign by spending £30,000 on a taxpayer-funded “study day” at Dubrovnik’s luxury 5-star Imperial hotel, enjoying posh nosh and being entertained by world-renowned, and often lingerie-clad cellist, Ana Rucner. Though this time Ana managed to keep her mini-skirt on for her performance. As Guido revealed in the Sun on Sunday, Syed Kamall, the new leader of Tory MEPs in Brussels, only dashed back to London a day early from his “studies” so as not to miss seeing the England-Uruguay match in London. Now the MEPs who went on the jolly have been told to stonewall hacks investigating them living it up on the taxpayer, sending this email to the junketeers:

From: HOLTUM James
Sent: Sunday, June 22, 2014 11:23 AM
To: CALLANAN Martin; ANDREASEN Marta; ATKINS Robert; KIRKHOPE Timothy; VAN ORDEN Geoffrey; FOX Ashley; MCINTYRE Anthea; CAMPBELL BANNERMAN David; FOSTER Jacqueline; ASHWORTH Richard; MCCLARKIN Emma; DUNCAN Ian; FORD Victoria Grace
Cc: FURBISHER John; HOLTUM James
Subject: Study days

Dear Members, you may have seen that you are mentioned as one of the attendees at ECR study days this week.

Our advice is to avoid any unknown numbers for a day or two, but in case you are caught off guard or doorstepped, here is the line that we gave the Mail…

Shutting down stories about wasting taxpayer cash, clearly Brussels has taught them well…

Monday, June 16, 2014

Battle-Scarred Berger Bag-Carrier Honoured By Liz

Guido would like to offer his warmest congratulations to Sheila Murphy, who was bestowed the honour of becoming a Member of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire by Her Majesty in the Queen’s Birthday Honours this weekend. A proud political activist, Sheila offered the most selfless of sacrifices to her Labour Party: devoting her life to becoming a parliamentary assistant to Luciana Berger. Presumably the MBE was for services to bravery and professionalism in the face of grave danger. She deserves all the medals…

Monday, June 9, 2014

PICTURE SPECIAL: Farage’s Top Tory Totty

Gordon Brown declared Nigel Farage to represent the best of British during his Press Gallery lunch this afternoon, telling hacks: “Britain wouldn’t be Britain without Farage with a pint in one hand and a mystery lady in the other”. Well now Guido can solve the mystery…

The blonde with her arm draped around the fun-loving UKIP leader in the (above right) photo is Tess Weeks, privately educated (Haberdashers’ Monmouth) the UCL graduate speaks Russian and Italian, she works as a recruitment consultant with Palm Mason in Canary Wharf. She attended the boozy conference in Malta last week in the course of her work. Guido cannot think why a well-lubricated Nige decided to make friends:

No need for Kirsten, the missus, to worry, there was no 3 a.m. walk back to a hotel room this time however. Tess has a boyfriend and says she is a proud supporter of the Conservative Party…

Bags of Fun at Danczuk’s Deli

=

Guido doesn’t normally do free advertising on the blog, but he thought he would make an exception for Danczuk’s Deli. Rochdale’s finest coffee shop has shelves stacked full of traditional baps, toasties, cakes, paninis, soups, salads and a Miliband-trolling “easier to eat” bacon butty which was helpfully launched after an unfortunate incident involving Ed Miliband.

butty

The deli is run by Labour MP Simon Danczuk’s missus Karen, who is also a Labour councillor in the area. For some reason Karen has been racking up Twitter followers in recent weeks…

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

WATCH: Penny Mordaunt’s Loyal Address in Full


Seen Elsewhere

Apple’s Tim Cook: iGay | Techno Guido
Insurgent Parties Plunge Labour Into Crisis | Alex Wickham
Mind-Bending Politics of Drugs | Mark Wallace
PC Worries Prevent Police Protecting Young Girls | Jill Kirby
Miliband Should Win Rochester | Martin Kettle
Thatcher Minister Sir John Nott ‘Voted for UKIP’ | Times
Time to Listen to Drugs Experts | Guardian
Drug Laws Don’t Work | Times
Our Moral Duty to Cut Taxes | David Cameron
Greens Ahead of LibDems | Guardian
Channel 4 to Spoof UKIP Election Win | Guardian


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


David Cameron drug policy reformer and leadership contender in 2005…

“Politicians attempt to appeal to the lowest common denominator by posturing with tough policies and calling for crackdown after crackdown. Drugs policy has been failing for decades.”



“Digger” Murdoch says:

Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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