Chuka Boasts of Mystery Girlfriend

The Shadow Business Secretary and closet DJ Chuka Umunna has been boasting about what good mates he is with Tinie Tempah: “Tinie and I are friends, we go way back,” he told the Standard at a party: “We’re both Nigerian, both from south London. He’s from Peckham, I’m Streatham.” He even got a hug from the rapper later.

It was party boy Chuka’s chat with City AM’s diarist that really caught Guido’s attention though. Apparently Chuka prefers staying in now:

“I love watching Gogglebox with my girlfriend.”

A shocking revelation… What is it about Gogglebox’s constant laying into Ed Miliband that Chuka enjoys the most?

So This Is Doing the Rounds of Asian Trading Floors…

An oriental co-conspirator points out that PUKI is Filipino for vagina… 

Finding NiMo Another Special Adviser

Nicky Morgan hid in her office while she had the three SpAds she inherited from Michael Gove sacked back in July. Now she has finished replacing them. Guido is told Morgan has hired up Holly-Lee Davis from the Centre for Social Justice – which is becoming the government holding pen once embodied by PX. The LSE-educated brainbox who also works with an “initiative aimed at promoting peace amongst school-aged children in the Middle East”. Davis joins gay rights activist Luke Tryl and Lynton Crosby’s former assistant Chris Wilkins at DfE. She should be able to spot a Trojan Horse plot a mile off…

DATA SPECIAL: Karen Danczuk Twitter Selfie Analysis

Guido’s favourite Labour councillor Karen Danczuk was given a tough time during her appearance on Loose Women, coming in for some particularly unfair criticism about her allegedly provocative Twitter selfies. This blog has always been at the cutting edge of agenda setting data journalism, so Guido decided to investigate and put Karen’s defence to the test. The evidence presented below shows that Mrs D is right, despite what the Loose Women said more often than not her selfies are just good, clean fun:

In light of this indisputable new evidence perhaps Karen’s critics should start talking about some of her other assets…

Leaders’ Wives: Cos-t of Living Lib Dem Edition

Miriam complimented a business-like white shirt by showing her true LibDem colours with a yellow below-the-knee wool mohair skirt with folded front pleat, designed to sit on the waist, available from Cos for £89. Stylishly accompanied by a taste of home: gold heels from Spanish brand Uterqüe.

Nick wore a navy Hackett suit, with a white shirt and red tie from M&S…

Loads More Page 3

Guido is all for promoting the work of models on Instagram, so… As the No More Page 3 Anti-Sex League snipes at the Sun’s breast cancer and healthy body image campaigns, Page 3 star Rhian and pals, who she describes as the “#BoobTroop”, have hit back with an alternative t-shirt slogan: Loads More Page 3. Who do you think has more support?

Vorderman Teases Ed to His Face about Forgetting Deficit

Miliband might have thought he was on safe ground at the Mirror’s Pride of Britain awards last night, but he still ended up cringing in front of all his close friends like Yvette Cooper, Douglas Alexander and Ed Balls.

Sitting amongst an audience of hundreds of volunteers and media types, along with the PM, Ed did not appear to enjoy Carol Vorderman’s introduction. Welcoming them both, the sexy maths minx quipped something along the lines of: “Good job I had an autocue for that bit. Might be a lesson for you there Ed.” To make matters worse for Miliband, the largely non-political audience of celebs seemed to get it and loved it. Guido understands that collective wincing to be known as ‘cut through’.

Sam Cam’s £99 Austerity Busting Conference Dress

Sod the tax cuts, as ever Guido brings you the important leader’s speech news. Sam Cam was wearing a new frock from Hobbs.

‘The Penrose Wrap’ retails at a austerity-approved £149, though if she bought it online she could have picked it up for just £99!

The dress is both serene and versatile, with the crossover detailing at the waist creating a slender silhouette, complimented nicely by the sleeveless and knee-length structure.

Sam accompanied it with an old pair of LK Bennett shoes. 

UKIP Banks on Mystery Donation Figure…
…and Don’t Mention His Mrs and Mike Hancock

There is some bafflement in Tory circles this morning over from where exactly UKIP have plucked the quarter of a million pound figure for defector Arron Bank’s donations to the Conservative Party since 2005. A hungover scan of the Electoral […]

COMPETITION: Guess Whose Boots?

Think you know? Have your say in the comments…[…]

#EverydaySexism Rife at Labour Conference

Everyday sexism is rife at Labour conference. Tom Watson waddled off yesterday after describing a bacon butty bearing babe as a “Sun model”:

[…]

Venezuela Goes From Boob to Bust

venezuela2

It is not just the economy which is sagging in socialist Venezuela, the country has been hit by a shortage of breast implants, a foretaste of what Britain can expect under a Miliband government. Despite attempts by former leader Hugo […]



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Quote of the Day

Tim Shipman to Adam Boulton on the TV debates…

“If Cameron gets in a car to go to the debate, Lynton Crosby will stage a car crash.”

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