Antoinette Sandbach Sabotages Tug of War

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Match report from Macmillan’s annual Parliamentary Tug of War last night:

“The stakes were high for the Commons men who, led by Mike Penning MP, were fighting to secure the winning title for a sixth successive year. The Lords men, who were led jointly by Lord Dobbs and Lord Collins of Highbury, put up a good fight but were no match for the MPs who pulled to victory, with the likes of Chris Law MP and Alec Shelbrooke MP at the end of the rope.”

Meanwhile the female MP’s team lost again, amid whispers that the team’s leggy front woman Antoinette Sandbach sabotaged her own side by turning up in a pair of calf-length street boots. One onlooker was heard muttering:”it’s like turning up in high heels” as the ladies trudged away with their runners up medal…

Environment Minister Totty Watch: Double Trouble Edition

danish ministers

Our series of saucy environment ministers continues with a two in one special from Denmark.

On the left is current Minister for the Environment Kirsten Brosbøl.

The lady gazing lovingly into her eyes on the right is her predecessor Ida Auken.

Despite being members of different parties, they have put aside partisanship to work together for the greater good of mother earth. Nordic beauties…

How FIFA Tried To Distract the World at Its Annual Conference Today

14 FIFA officials have been charged with corruption and their President is facing calls to resign, but that hasn’t stopped football’s governing body from rolling out the red carpet for the opening ceremony of its annual conference today.

Maybe they were hoping the FBI would be distracted by their glamarous host:

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Or perhaps these scantily clad female dancers:

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If not, there was this dude singing Swiss power ballads:

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With a ballerina:

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And this lady blowing some sort of Swiss national horn:

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And this guy playing the drums:

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All culminating bizarrely with a lady pirouetting in a circle again and again:

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And fire. Lots of fire.

You wouldn’t know their bosses had just had their doors kicked down in morning raids, would you?

BoJo: I am Back

Bow down… but seriously, check out that sexy look from Rees Mogg. Ohhh.

Energy Minister Totty Watch Continued: Dutch Edition

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Continuing our current series of saucy energy/environment minsters, Gaia is pleased to introduce Melanie Henriëtte Schultz van Haegen-Maas Geesteranus. She may have been named after an exotic ice-cream, but the Dutch Minister of Infrastructure and the Environment ain’t no soft scoop when it comes to pushing through her pro-cycling agenda. She famously refused to back legislation that would have forced cyclists to wear helmets and banned them from texting on the go. Green suits her…

Silvio Berlusconi Joins Instagram

So, Silvio Berlusconi has joined the picture sharing social media network Instagram and is uploading pictures of himself with his dogs Dudu, Dudina & Harley:

The other recurring theme so far appears to be his 28 year old girlfriend Francesca:

Insta-bunga!

Joanna Shields Shuffled Upstairs as New Internet Safety Minister

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Digital Dave’s technology guru Joanna Shields has left her role as chair of Tech City UK and will be shuffled upstairs as the new Minister for Internet Safety and Security. Baroness Shields, who once headed up Bebo, Facebook Europe and Google for Europe, Middle East and Africa, left the private sector at the peak of her career to take up a cushy £115,000 job as CEO of Tech City. Cynics have suggested that Shields planned on using the role as a stepping stone for feathering a seats-on-boards-of-companies nest…

Shields’ three year tenure as CEO saw her bolster her reputation for turning up to government meetings with perfectly coiffed hair and expensive shoes, while the taxpayer-funded Tech City conitinued on a mildly successful PR campaign to rebrand East London as Britain’s Silicon Valley. The PM duly rewarded Shields for her service with a Peerage, and now she’s in government. Keep an eye out for Techno’s runners and riders to be the new chair…

Lucky Palestinians Finally get Chance to Hook Up with Hot IDF Babes

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Good news! Palestinians yearning to hook up with hot IDF babes finally have the chance to make their dreams come true following the introduction of Verona, a dating app that connect Israelis and Palestinians. Pitching itself as the Tinder for sectarian divide, Verona aims to promote peace in the Middle East “one swipe at a time.No longer just a stones throw away…

Douglas Alexander Loses His Seat

Labour’s campaign chief is out:

Meet the new ‘Baby of the House’:

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Mhairi Black, the 20 year old SNP candidate. The youngest MP since 1667…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Lagos Lovely

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In our continuing series on hot looking energy ministers we bring you the current President of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) and Nigerian Minister of Petroleum Resources Diezani Alison-Madueke. Diezani is the brains behind Nigeria’s plan to […]

+ READ MORE +

More Censorship From the Politically Correct ASA

The censorious bunch of self-appointed bureaucrats at the Advertising Standards Authority have targeted anti-gay marriage adverts, anti-environmentalist advertsFathers4Justice adverts and pro-hanging adverts in their insidious campaign against politically incorrect causes.

Now Chris Smith’s bloated regulator has decreed […]

+ READ MORE +

Energy Minister Totty Watch (Continued)

GEORGIA TOTTY

Yesterday after after we asked in relation to Ségolène Royal, “Is there a hotter looking energy minister anywhere in the world?”, Katrina Kelly of the World Energy Council got in touch to complain:

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Charles Clarke says Cameron is the most successful PM for over a century…

“Under Margaret Thatcher the Conservatives gained 99 seats. They lost 211 under John Major, gained one under William Hague, quickly and wisely got rid of Ian Duncan-Smith, gained 32 under Michael Howard and have so far gained 133 under David Cameron who, to the great surprise of many (including senior Conservatives), has turned out to be the most electorally successful Tory leader since 1900.”

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