Friday, March 12, 2010

“I’m Not a Politically Correct Feminist, But…”

In a campaign worthy of Jo Swinson it seems Nadine has declared war on London buses displaying 14ft ads of half-naked women trying to flog underwear. “It is becoming more hardcore and shocking. Since when did it become acceptable to have larger-than-life posters of scantily clad women moving up and down every street?” And the giant shirtless Ronaldo/Armani ad is fine though?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Sticks in Your Teeth

Never say that Guido is not willing to correct mistakes:

SWINSON, Jo to guido.fawkes
10:03 PM

In answer to the question you posed yesterday on the Guido Fawkes blog at 3:25pm: No.

I only claimed for one item on that receipt, for which as you report the Fees Office declined to reimburse me, a decision which I fully accepted.

As is perfectly clear from the claim form which is available for public view online, I did not claim for any of the other items on that receipt.

To be clear, I did not claim for, indeed have never even considered claiming for, any make-up on my expenses.

In light of these facts, I hope you will agree it would be appropriate for you to correct this posting on your blog.

Regards,

Jo Swinson

Guy Fawkes to Jo
8:47 AM
What was the item for which you claimed?

Will clarify.

SWINSON, Jo to Guy
9:12 AM

The tooth-flosser.

Nice to know that Jo thinks the taxpayer should take care of her gnashers…

Staggering Hypocrisy

Given what a shining New Statesman’s James Macintyre took to top freelance totty Rowenna Davis, it was only going to be a matter of time before she ended up writing for the struggling magazine. Last month she wrote a piece slamming parliamentarian’s use of unpaid interns suggesting that “MPs’ dependence on unpaid interns gives those from richer backgrounds a headstart on breaking into politics.” A fair point perhaps, so what’s this Guido reads? “The New Statesman Brand and Project Department is looking for an intern…” Paid? Yeah right…

Monday, March 8, 2010

This Is What a Feminist Looks Like

Sticking with the International Women’s Day theme, Guido had to chuckle when he saw that Jo Swinson, the chairman of the Liberal Democrat’s “Real Women” campaign, will be chairing a panel of feminists today. The Campaign for Body Confidence will look into “combating body image pressure felt by women and girls today.” Funny Ms. Swinson doesn’t quite practice what she preaches. Was it body image pressure that led her to claim a £27.94 receipt from Boots, including £5 for eyeliner, a £5 lip liner and £12 for “R&M Eye Kit” on her expenses? Not forgetting the electric toothbrush and hair-dryer. The Fees Office drew the line at the £19.10 tooth flosser.

Absolutely Brilliant Feminists

To celebrate International Women’s Day Guido thought he would share an intimate email exchange between close friends, all devout feminists,  in the run up to last year’s event.  Draper was working away at LabourList and thought he would titillate the boys a little:

From: James Macintyre
To: Roger Liddle; Derek Draper
Sent: Tuesday, 3 March, 2009 14:38:18
Subject: FW: CV

Roger, Derek, this guy is super bright, and Labour, and finishing an internship with NS this week. If you have a place for him..or if there is anyone you might be able to forward to..

From: Derek Draper
Sent: 03 March 2009 15:14
To: James Macintyre; Roger Liddle

is he cute though?

http://www.labourlist.org
http://www.flowvideo.co.uk
http://www.diy-therapy.com
020 7486 ████
MIND Journalist of the Year 2007/8

From: James Macintyre
To: Derek Draper; Roger Liddle
Sent: Tuesday, 3 March, 2009 15:07:35

I knew that would be your response!

From: Derek Draper
Sent: 03 March 2009 15:19
To: James Macintyre; Roger Liddle

what’s the answer, though?

(if you are single you should pop in here on friday morning as we have the delectable rowenna davies here guest editing labourlist for international womens day)

fowrad to a harman led labour party

x

From: James Macintyre
To: Derek Draper; Roger Liddle
Sent: Tuesday, 3 March, 2009 15:15:49

He is very tall, handsome in a bookish sort of way. Very █████ and █████.

I am very much single and in need to remedy that. I ███ █████ ███ ██ Friday – who is this woman? Otherwise will have to try and pull Harman..

x

From: Derek Draper
Sent: 03 March 2009 15:26
To: James Macintyre; Roger Liddle

he sounds like a queer

(she says she’s a freelance journalist, quite lefty, very beautiful)

From: James Macintyre
To: Derek Draper
Sent: Tuesday, 3 March, 2009 15:24:35

well you called her delectable then appeared not to know her – anyway i see she is now v v fit – ridiculously beautiful – why she editing it – so you can look at her?

NO BECAUSE I AM LEADING A RADICAL OONLINE MOVEMENTA ND I HAVE ALWAYS EMBREACED THE FEMINIST CAUSE

thanks for emailing the labour woman – please let me know what her response is however negative – even if she says “i have heard he is a total wanker” as i know she will reply to you. x

OK

No wonder Ms. Davies wasn’t too impressed with her day in the office, she later wrote:  “When I first met the site’s regular editor Derek Draper and his all-male staff to discuss potential questions for an online survey, he suggested with a grin that I ask “Is domestic violence always wrong?” and then spent the rest of the afternoon trying to set me up with James Purnell.”  Clearly a confused bunch.

Happy Women’s Day everyone…

*Some parts redacted on taste grounds.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Mrs Bercow Out on the Streets

Sally “the alley” Bercow, the loose-lipped spouse of the Speaker, lives at the taxpayer’s expense in the Palace of Westminster and far from their Monday Club days she now spends her days pursuing her new found anti-Tory agenda. Eyebrows were justifiably raised when she declared she wanted to run for Westminster Council as a Labour candidate.

Piggy backing on her husband’s neutral role she has ingratiated herself with the upper echelons of the Labour Party. Like the pocket lining of past Speaker’s wives, Sally is using her husband’s status for her own political gain. It seems common sense has prevailed and Mrs Bercow will have to move out of the Speaker’s residence for the duration of the campaign if she does run. A good start, but what about the obvious abuse of public property the rest of the time?

Friday, February 26, 2010

Telegraph Digging on Dave’s School-days


There are two possible angles to this story, either the cutting edge digital Telegraph team is preparing an attack on Dave using social media to harvest information in the run up to the election. Or given it’s Friday and all, hacks have sunk to new lows in lazy attempts at sniffing out a story. So look out for some inane rumours and anecdotes about Dave’s early days in the next week – you know were they came from now. Heidi Blake looks like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but perhaps she should have paused to think Dave’s old school chums might be a little more loyal than that.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Jonah Curses Cole

Just under a year ago Cheryl  Cole had tea at Number 10 with Jonah. It wasn’t long before rumours spread of her troubled relationship with footballer hubby Ashley Cole. Last night we heard they are to split up. There was nothing she could do to stop her fate.

The Curse of the One-Eyed Son of the Manse had struck again.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Jonah Curses Morgan’s Viewing Figures

There was a lot of hysterics concerning Gordon’s appearance on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories last night with talk about it having “cut through” beyond politics.  Evidence based blogging tells the real story. The  Prime Mentalist was the least popular guest, bar Boris Becker, to ever appear on the show and be reduced to tears by Morgan’s gentle probing:

The widely trailed interview was meant to be a chance for the public to see Gordon’s human side.  The fact that almost double the amount of people cared more about the life of Jordan or Sir Cliff Richard shows just how far he is willing to demean the status  of his office for a couple of thousand swing votes…

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Champagne Induced False Memory Syndrome

Guido gatecrashed last night’s launch of Inside Out, Peter Watt’s tell-all book on the dysfunctional Labour Party.  His co-writer Isabel Oakeshott (pictured) looked glamorous rather than ghostly.

Charles Clarke, one of the few people on the planet who dislikes the Prime Mentalist more than Guido, was the only Labour MP spotted at the event.   Button-holing him was an opportunity to verify the truth of a story that has tickled Guido for a while.   The scene was a champagne lubricated event hosted by Blair’s former SpAd turned power lobbyist, Darren Murphy, back in the spring of last year at the time Smeargate was unfolding.  Murphy is of course no friend of Damian McBride.  Alan Milburn, with Charles Clarke at his side, says a few words to the assembled über-Blairites.  He finishes his speech with a smirk and raises his champagne-filled flute  to say “the toast is Guido Fawkes”.

Clarke told Guido grumpily that he had no recollection of the event, so we’ll just have to put it down as apocryphal. Though too much champagne can play tricks with your memory…

UPDATE : Darren Murphy calls to say he didn’t host an event, or pay for the champagne and certainly wasn’t there. Another Labour source says that the gist of the story is true.  Perhaps.


Seen Elsewhere

The School That Proves Michael Gove Was Right | Toby Young
Full Jenkin/Beckett/Straw Letter to PM | Politics Home
The ‘Buckingham Bonaparte’ is Cornered | Speccie
Coalition: The Movie | Indy
Lefties Moan About Messina Working For Cameron | MSNBC
Karen Danczuk V Louise Mensch: Round 48 | Sun
Jack Straw Slams Bercow | Sky News
Putin Shuts Down Red Square McDonalds | Telegraph
Paper Trail Suggests Ashcroft Still Funding Tories | Indy
Bradford Bun Fight Coming | Speccie
Former Minister’s Join ‘Canberra Caterer’ Outcry | The Times


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Lord Glasman tells it like it is:

“The first thing is to acknowledge that Labour has been captured by a kind of aggressive public sector morality which is concerned with the individual and the collective but doesn’t understand relationships.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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