Totty Watch: Magaret Thatcher Inspires Lingerie Range

The Style section isn’t normally the first bit of the Sunday Times that Guido reaches for, but thankfully this one didn’t go unspotted. Agent Provocateur’s new lingerie range has been apparently been styled on Maggie:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

The designer said her delicate bow and a “little bit of pleated shawl that goes around your bottom” was “quite racy, but I like to think she might have worn that underneath her suits.” So does Guido…

Great Political Arguments of Our Time

Political leaflets only tend to raise eyebrows in this country when they end up going through the courts, or feature a particularly hilarious LibDem bar chart. Guido thinks we should take a lesson from Sole Sánchez Mohamed, head of the Partit Democràtic de Ciutadella on Spain. She has presented the electorate with “two great arguments” on why she should be elected.

Guido’s sold.

The Coalition Calendar

This is going round on email. Guido thought he’d bring it to a wider audience.

It is Friday…

Kay’s Glorious Prose

Kay Burely’s book “First Ladies” is finally upon us. Guido told you last year that it revolved around three completely and utterly fictional women and their love for an alarmingly Blair-like PM. Some of these women sound very familiar though…

There’s the “titian-haired” Sally Simpson, “a powerful magazine editor … in skin-tight Prada and killer heels, she is every man’s fantasy”; Valerie Jenson, a “deeply unhappy” and “weary first lady” who“spends her time drinking”“sexy TV reporter Isla McGovern, who has caught Julian’s eye and will do anything (or anyone) to get to the top”. Rumour is there was a substantial re-write after horrified execs read a draft…

Media Monkey have got the extracts:

“Lithe and muscular, he effortlessly lifted her from the bed and onto his broad shoulders. Sally felt all the excitement and exhilaration of a fairground ride as he continued to offer intense pleasure before she was finally sated and he lowered her gently back onto the round bed. Julian flopped contentedly beside her.

“At that exact moment, Julian was expertly using his silver tongue to offer intense gratification to Sally as he held on firmly to her taut, tanned thighs, tightly gripped around his handsome face.”

Campbell, Blair and now Burley. What is it with the horrendous sex scenes recently?

The Easiest Job in the World

Gordon Sarah Brown PPS McGovernAlison McGovern hasn’t had a glittering career outside of politics. According to her website she was head girl at school in 1998, don’t you know, then on to UCL. She worked briefly as a researcher at the House of Commons before going to spin for Network Rail. She was elected in May, and as Guido reported at the time, immediately promoted to the dubious role of Gordon Brown’s PPS. Though no longer a frontbencher, or even a participating Member of Parliament, Gordon found it necessary to recruit such a minion.

You would think that after Brown’s abject failure to turn up to Parliament to represent the people of Kirkcaldy, Alison would have quietly dropped the laughable non-job description, but no, she is still using it today to promote her role as a Labour Yes2AV spokesman. So how has Gordon been keeping his PPS busy?

The  job normally entails:

  • Being with the Minister at all times in the Chamber and for meetings on the Parliamentary estate. Gordon has given one backbench speech in an adjournment debate since May 2010 and asked a handful of written questions.
  • Liaising between Commons and your bosses Government department. Gordon doesn’t have a department.
  • Controlling access to the boss for other MPs who want to see him. Would anybody be seen dead seeking Brown’s advice?

Many would argue there is little point to Gordon Brown in his current role, let alone his PPS.

Clegg Set To Be Humiliated by the Miner’s Daughter

The deputy Prime Minister (when he remembers) is set to be humiliated in the Barnsley by-election because, according to a survey in the Mail, the LibDems are looking likely to come fourth after coming second in the general election.

UKIP’s Jane Collins was ‘born and bred’ in Yorkshire, raised in Pontefract, the daughter of a miner and is the blonde who is set to land a bombshell on Clegg’s party.

Dan Jarvis (Labour) will cruise home with a wacking 63%, James Hockney (Conservative) will stay in double figures on 13%, Jane Collins (UKIP) on 9% could push Dominic Carman (Liberal Democrats) into a humiliating fourth place next to the BNP and other assorted loonies. The survey data shows the most former LibDem voters switching back to Labour. This will give Clegg party management problems with the left of the LibDems…

Totty Watch: Galyna, Gaddafi’s Ukranian Nurse

Now that the “Brotherly Leader and Guide of the Revolution of Libya”, or “Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People’s Libyan Arab Jamahiriya” is going the same way all socialist dictators go – mad and bad – Gaddafi must be feeling the pressure.

Galyna Kolotnytska is Muammar Gaddafi’s voluptuous blonde Ukrainian nurse, mentioned in a WikiLeaks cable from 2009. Apparently Gaddafi never travels without her and who could blame him. Wonder why… “Nurse!”

Total Politics is Full of Divas

Guido had long suspected it to be the case, but it seems like Total Politics have made it official. Well sort of, Antonello Sticca who has been heading up a redesign of the magazine and website, came over from lesbian lifestyle mag Diva. Guido reckons more covers like these would get copies flying off the shelves. Shiny new website here

Telegraph Totty Tossed Out

There has been a notable absence in the Telegraph newsroom recently. Many a hack has pondered what happened to the editor’s secretary cum beauty columnist Jane Cullen. Not only has she disappeared but apparently her desk has gone too. Jane’s […]

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Who’s a Lucky Boy?

Michael Gove is getting a fair bit of stick in his tricky brief, but it’s not all bad news for the wily Education Secretary. According to his wife’s column in the Times the Member for Surrey Heath is in for […]

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Boulton’s Babes

Westminster’s new couple Guido mentioned yesterday have topped Sky New’s most fanciable MPs poll. What coincidental timing eh. Watch out when reporting on Ms. Berger though. Guido hears she once threatened to sue Durham University’s student paper for describing […]

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Fancy a Berger?

The comments section has been rife for a couple of days with innuendo about vacuous pretty boy Chuka Umunna and ruthlessly mobile Luciana Berger. So Guido is a little annoyed to have been scooped by Nigel Nelson who broke the […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Liam Fox shreds Cameron’s Calais scaremongering:

“Sad and disappointed to see our Prime Minister stoop to this level of scaremongering, especially as he knows the Calais agreement is nothing to do with the EU and agreed between the two govts”

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