Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Totty Watch : Bristol Palin Shaking Her Booty

Totty Trumps

It seems the misbehaving MPs feature particularly heavily in the annual Sky News conference season Top Trumps:

This year the “fanciabilty” ranking has caused a few eyebrows. No surprise that the judges (Sir Michael White, Quentin Letts, Sophy Ridge, Paul Waugh, Julia Hartley-Brewer, Iain Dale and Katie Snape) gave pretty boy Zac Goldsmith 100%, but David Miliband on 95%… really?

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Coulson’s Five A Day

What is it with Downing Street Heads of Communication? First we had Campbell’s cringe-worthy porno writing career and now Coulson’s getting his kit off. The high pressure atmosphere of a tabloid newsroom is often cited for various misdemeanours concerning the law. Now we know why Coulson was oblivious of what was going on – he was modelling for The Sun’s “Dear Deirdre” page:

(Full Page)

“Mick” was not available for comment…

Friday, August 13, 2010

Fact Check: Bouncing Bryony Boobs Column

Shock waves have been sent through the national media today by The Telegraph’s Bryony Gordon. Seemingly tasked with making Colonels splutter into their cornflakes, the former 3am Girl this week devoted her entire column to her ample bosom and the debate surrounding topless sunbathing. Something about the piece got Guido thinking, so he got the Guy News Fact Check team on the case.

In the article Bryony claims:

“When I go on holiday, I like to sunbathe topless. The beach towel goes down, the book comes out, and the bikini top flies off, often in the direction of a startled looking friend who has clearly never seen a pair of breasts before. Topless sunbathing is a wonderful thing, a holiday in itself from underwired bras… Many believe that the topless sunbather is an exhibitionist, a minx and a strumpet. They are mistaken – mostly, we just don’t like tan lines. And we don’t mind our breasts. Is that such a bad thing?

But the picture tells a different story. Here is Bryony snapped on holiday, displaying clear and obvious tan-lines where her bikini top has been. Fact Check verdict? Fiction.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Labour’s Lady of the Night

Mandy isn’t the only Labour politician willing to throw in some juicy details in order to flog a few copies. Nottingham councillor and writer Catharine Arnold tells of intriguing past while promoting her new book City of Sin:

“Far from looking like a conventional hooker, I was a gamine public-school girl with a fresh complexion and a good figure. I had always had a thing about older men, perhaps because I lost my father young. I was never hard enough to be a real ‘Mayfair mercenary’, as the top girls were known. I never went to Tokyo Joe’s or Tramp, and the women who did terrified me. I wasn’t interested in rock starts or celebrities. I knew my type: they were the older men who would find in the quiet bar and take me to dinner and tell me about their children. I nursed the hope that at some stage I would meet a kindly sugar daddy who would set me up in Mayfair. But I never found such a man.”

Guido is surprised she never made it further up the greasy pole…

Balls’s Bungled Pledge

Yesterday Ed Balls made a big song and dance about signing a pledge that all interns should be paid the minimum wage. He even released a video of him and one of his own office interns discussing it. Except that’s not quite what he said:

“It’s really important if you are interning or volunteering in a House of Commons office that you get properly paid.”

Interns and volunteers.

So what about his very own voluptuous volunteer Ellie “Stilettos” Gellard, Twitter queen and cursed backer of Gordon? Gellard has been strutting around with a pass, on the Balls campaign, yet apparently isn’t taking a penny?

A volunteer you might say… So it’s fine that all interns and volunteers must be paid, just not Ed’s campaign staff. Or if she is being paid, why hasn’t it been declared?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Brown’s Unnecessary Minion

Though no longer a front-bencher, or even a participating Member of Parliament, Gordon has found it necessary to recruit a PPS. Alison McGovern, newly elected MP for Wirral South, has been appointed bag-carrier-in-chief . While he sits at home in Fife, rocking, back and forth, spinning his disastrous economic record, she will be working in Westminster on his behalf. Why can’t he do it? Guido recommends  she spend more time shoring up her own ultra-marginal constituency.

As suspected, Brown didn’t hang around for last night’s vote on the Education Bill. Welsh Lib Dem Jenny Willott is the only other mainland MP that has been completely absent from this session – she’s just had a kid. There are those that say Brown is having yet another dig at Blair’s post-Downing Street behaviour by staying on, but what is the point if he isn’t actually going to engage? At least Blair didn’t bother trying to pretend he still cared.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Labour MP: Humans Extinct in 200 Years

If you ever wondered about the state of mind of certain politicians, look no further than Michael Meacher. This isn’t just loony left nonsense, it’s plain bonkers:

“When an alien virus invades the human body it fights back and usually manages to surround and destroy the alien. Earth will do everything it can to survive with us being the virus it is trying to destroy. I think with the current rate of exploitation and current disregard for sustainability that our economy and our civilisation has, I think we will easily reach that point in the next 200-300 years.”

Perhaps Meacher would like a sandwich board with “the end is nigh” painted on it?

What a great Gaia he is, enjoying what little time we have left…

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Totty Watch : Czech These MPs Out

The Czech parliament has had an influx of women and the centre-right liberal-conservative Public Affairs Party (Věci veřejné) is celebrating with a calendar of MPs.  It features Katerina Klasnova, the vice-speaker of  parliament (as Miss January) and Lenka Andrysova, 26, another member of parliament, who represents a district in rural Moravia and is completing a doctorate in political science. She is photographed reclining on a couch in dark stockings and a clingy knit top appears as Miss September. She says “There are different kinds of feminism”. Guido doesn’t really care about the politics. Enjoy…

Via Wall Street Journal

Monday, July 12, 2010

Beauty and the Beeb

Tim Hames, the Speaker’s unprecedented spinner, announced he was off last week. Which is unfortunate for the Squeaker as he looks like he could need someone to help with handling the press come Thursday night…

Question Time’s producers, ever in search of controversy, like to rile people with their choice of guest. This week they have a member of Ed Ball’s campaign team who failed to become a councillor invited on the show. She calls herself a “writer and broadcaster” these days, but Guido has only ever seen a blog post (about Balls) and an interview on This Week, not sure being on Twitter constitutes being a professional writer. It seems even Labour aren’t stupid enough to let the proven liability become an official spokesman. Burnham is on the same night…

Has she really done anything in her own right rather than as the Speaker’s wife?  Perhaps some other failed council candidates, with Twitter accounts, backing someone in the Labour leadership, should ask to be on Question Time. That seems to be the criteria…


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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