Berlusconi's Buxom Blonde Babe

Silvio Berlusconi pictured with a pretty blonde is hardly news.  Michaela Biancofiore is an MP in his party, she popped in to see him last week to celebrate her fortieth birthday with the billionaire.

Michaela chose the interesting cake design herself.

Can you imagine Harriet Harman celebrating Gordon’s sixtieth birthday with a picture of herself looking buxom and being groped by her party leader?  Come to  that, can you imagine Gordon groping a buxom blonde?

No me neither…

'The John Bercow Guide' on How to Pick Up Drunk Women

Yesterday Mrs Bercow told the Standard of her “ladette” two bottles of wine and one night stands past. Many often wonder how the pint-sized Speaker managed to end up with the six foot something “cross between Jerry Hall, Lady Macbeth and Eva Peron” and now thanks to this morning’s Metro everything becomes clearer:

Speaker John Bercow has been credited as the author of a sex tip guide which told men how to “pick up drunk girls … ‘The John Bercow Guide’ to understanding women” appeared in ‘Armageddon’, a Conservative student magazine, in 1986 – when Bercow was a Lambeth councillor. The guide included categories on ‘How to pick up drunk girls’, ‘How to pick up virgins’, ‘How to pick up refined girls’, ‘How to get rid of a girl during sex’ and ‘How to get rid of a girl after sex’.

Like global warming, the John Bercow Guide’s pick-up strategies are an interesting theory.  Guido isn’t entirely sure lines like “If you’re free later maybe we could go back to your place and name your breasts” ever really work.  In fact funnily enough Guido can’t recall Bercow even having a girlfriend back in those days.  Anyway he has done well to land an experienced girl like Sally, particularly now she has sobered up.

Guido thinks Sally looks vaguely familiar, but it was over a decade ago, Guido was very, very drunk that night and was never good at remembering names…

UPDATE : Bad Al Campbell, another reformed drunk, is sticking up for Sally. What a surprise…

Wife Swapping MPs Wrong

wife_swapIt is so obvious that if MPs spouses and children are not only banned from working for them, but for other MPs as well, they will simply do a bit of wife swapping to keep the money rolling in.  Wives will work for MPs other than their husbands.  Whenever Guido argues that it is nepotistic it is often a step too far for political audiences.   They invariably argue it is (a) cost effective (b) conducive to family life (c) they never abuse the system / underpay themselves.

Guido counters that it is too open to abuse, that it goes against well established civil service principles that hires should be selected openly and on merit.  How are taxpayers to distinguish between those who abuse the system and those that don’t?  This sort thing would not be tolerated by shareholders as a matter of course, where it does happen in the private sector (Murdoch’s News Corp for example) the family usually has a significant stake in the business.  In a democracy, politics should not be a family business.

Guido thinks that regrettably, those who have abused the system have made it necessary to ban MPs’ partners and children from working in parliament.  The Kelly report should recommend an end to the practice.  The Shadow Kelly Report certainly took the tough line.

RAF Blonde Bombshell Mocks Gordon Brown's Leadership

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.3551119&w=425&h=350&fv=videoid%3D42973512001]

A month after Gordon Brown appeared at the International Institute for Strategic Studies (on the day Eric Joyce resigned)  he was followed yesterday by General Stanley McChrystal, the US commander in Afghanistan.

General McChrystal called for the war to be prosecuted  vigourously with more resources.  Flight Lieutenant Victoria Anderton told the general

“… can I say how much more confidence I have now in my chain of command than I had after Prime Minister Gordon Brown was here a couple of weeks ago”.

That she would say that so bluntly, and the room would dissolve into laughter, shows that Gordon Brown has become widely despised by members of the armed forces.

She is off to Kandahar, to serve Queen and country…

Tories Thrash Labour

edelman-roundersThe annual parliamentary staff rounders and picnic competition saw the Tories beat Labour 32 1/2 to 17.  Sadly, no pictures of the totty have reached Guido.  Very sad…

UPDATE : Guido pulled a few strings, and here is the victorious Tory Totty Team:

Tory-Team

And the Winner of the Caption Contest is….

drudge_obamaIf Matt could send his home address and his T-shirt size Guido we’ll see what we can dig out…

Drudge reckons ABC News is covering for Barack in this video report.  Guido thinks Obama is following that old proverb, “when in Rome do as the Romans do”.

Obama is just taking his cue towards the young lady from Silvio…

Berlusconi's G8 Co-Hostess Looks Great

On the left is the Berlusconi appointed Italian Equal Opportunities Minister: Mara Carfagna.  On the right is a picture of her before she got that job.  Clearly she is well qualified…

Silvio’s wife is divorcing him for cavorting with various young women and embarrassing her innumerable times.  Most recently before the general election when paparazzi  photographed him poolside, standing proudly naked with a hard-on* leering at a couple of Czech models  – he romped home at the election and probably with the Czechs.

For this reason he is now without an official first lady.  Mara Carfagna is expected  therefore to act as his co-host at the G8 summit next week.  Ms Carfagna’s relationship with Silvio has caused controversy in the past.  The voters don’t seem to mind, Guido is just full of admiration for old Silvio…

*Damned impressive for a 72-year-old.

Libertas Demands Exposure of MEPs Expenses

Yesterday Guido did momentarily consider voting for Fine Gael, Libertas however have guaranteed one more vote in Wexford today.  This is obviously not some cheap photo-opportunity publicity stunt putting words in the mouth of page three girl Amy Diamond :“I am delighted to bare all for Libertas. What have MEPs got to hide?  I want them to get everything off their chest like me. Stop covering up if they’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”

Robin Matthews, who leads Libertas in the UK, makes the point that: ‘The expenses scandal is rife in Europe, it is not just our MPs here at Westminster with their noses in the trough. Greater abuse is taking place at the European Parliament. The only way to sort this out and make change is by MEPs baring all and letting us see what they have spent our money on’.  Quite.

Totty Watch : Fine Gael's Fine Girl

 

emma-kiernanThis is Emma Kiernan, who is standing for Fine Gael on Newbridge Town Council, Kildare, Ireland.  Guido was until now thinking of voting for Libertas in Ireland.  This could change things.  She certainly looks a lot different from her official photo which, unlike this Facebook picture, is not splashed all over the Irish media and political blogs.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Expenses Freedom of Information : Villains and Heroes

We know who the villains of this charade have been; the Speaker, the backbenchers of the parliamentary Labour and Conservative Parties.  Gordon Brown has nothing to be proud of, he constantly failed to push reform forward because he could not carry his backbenchers. […]

+ READ MORE +

Berlusconi's Euro-Babes

Guido’s favourite euro-politician and media magnate, Silvio Berlusconi, understands that politics is showbusiness for ugly people and he wants to change it into a more pure showbusiness.  You can perhaps understand why with that kind of insight he is a billionaire.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Le Totty Watch : Meet Sarkozy's New Minister

Sarkozy certainly knows how to pick his women. Caribbean-born Christine Kelly, 39, is is to become minister for overseas territories.

The Mail quotes a source as saying “Mr Sarkozy is hugely impressed that she is not only attractive, but in touch with the modern world… Christine has a huge fan base thanks to her regular appearances in the media, and will be a massive asset.”

She certainly has great assets.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Spice Up Your Wife

haliwell-downing-streetOur ending-celebrity-culture Prime Mentalist had Gerri Halliwell visiting Downing Street this week.  Not sure what the Spice Girl was doing, perhaps she was advising Sarah on push up bras or maybe Gordon on monetary policy.  Both equally as likely.

haliwell

Marina Hyde’s Lost in Showbiz Blog* is excellent on the subject. […]

+ READ MORE +

LibDem Youth Teeny Totty Tantrums

libdem-girlsIt seems Nick Clegg is having trouble with the kids, after personally launching the rebranded Liberal Youth movement last year, the kids are now biting the hand that feeds them. Their election for a new chairman has descended into the kind of fight that only student politics can.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Is Theresa Villiers Taking Fashion Advice from Sarah Palin?

The Tories are doing a live videocast and live-chat right now, with Greg Clark, the Shadow Energy and Climate Change Secretary, and Theresa Villiers, the Shadow Transport Secretary. Guido is mesmerised thinking that Villiers is going for a Sarah Palin look – see for yourself.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Totty Watch : “I’m Babz, Fly Me”

A press release arrives from Conservatives for International Travel:

TORY GRASSROOTS GROUP APPLAUDS HEATHROW DECISION

Conservatives for International Travel, the grassroots group that supports keeping the cost of flights as low as possible, today applauded the decision by the Prime Minister to go ahead with a third runway at Heathrow.

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Heather Wheeler talks to Burton Mail about her tweet…

“It was a tongue in cheek pop after the European Parliament tweet – it was purely that. I also wanted to congratulate Team GB on a brilliant result and thirdly congratulate the Commonwealth countries who also did very well. Fourth, I am also looking forwarded to establishing new trade agreements. That was it – nothing more. Let’s just enjoy the summer!”

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