Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Brown’s Unnecessary Minion

Though no longer a front-bencher, or even a participating Member of Parliament, Gordon has found it necessary to recruit a PPS. Alison McGovern, newly elected MP for Wirral South, has been appointed bag-carrier-in-chief . While he sits at home in Fife, rocking, back and forth, spinning his disastrous economic record, she will be working in Westminster on his behalf. Why can’t he do it? Guido recommends  she spend more time shoring up her own ultra-marginal constituency.

As suspected, Brown didn’t hang around for last night’s vote on the Education Bill. Welsh Lib Dem Jenny Willott is the only other mainland MP that has been completely absent from this session – she’s just had a kid. There are those that say Brown is having yet another dig at Blair’s post-Downing Street behaviour by staying on, but what is the point if he isn’t actually going to engage? At least Blair didn’t bother trying to pretend he still cared.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Labour MP: Humans Extinct in 200 Years

If you ever wondered about the state of mind of certain politicians, look no further than Michael Meacher. This isn’t just loony left nonsense, it’s plain bonkers:

“When an alien virus invades the human body it fights back and usually manages to surround and destroy the alien. Earth will do everything it can to survive with us being the virus it is trying to destroy. I think with the current rate of exploitation and current disregard for sustainability that our economy and our civilisation has, I think we will easily reach that point in the next 200-300 years.”

Perhaps Meacher would like a sandwich board with “the end is nigh” painted on it?

What a great Gaia he is, enjoying what little time we have left…

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Totty Watch : Czech These MPs Out

The Czech parliament has had an influx of women and the centre-right liberal-conservative Public Affairs Party (Věci veřejné) is celebrating with a calendar of MPs.  It features Katerina Klasnova, the vice-speaker of  parliament (as Miss January) and Lenka Andrysova, 26, another member of parliament, who represents a district in rural Moravia and is completing a doctorate in political science. She is photographed reclining on a couch in dark stockings and a clingy knit top appears as Miss September. She says “There are different kinds of feminism”. Guido doesn’t really care about the politics. Enjoy…

Via Wall Street Journal

Monday, July 12, 2010

Beauty and the Beeb

Tim Hames, the Speaker’s unprecedented spinner, announced he was off last week. Which is unfortunate for the Squeaker as he looks like he could need someone to help with handling the press come Thursday night…

Question Time’s producers, ever in search of controversy, like to rile people with their choice of guest. This week they have a member of Ed Ball’s campaign team who failed to become a councillor invited on the show. She calls herself a “writer and broadcaster” these days, but Guido has only ever seen a blog post (about Balls) and an interview on This Week, not sure being on Twitter constitutes being a professional writer. It seems even Labour aren’t stupid enough to let the proven liability become an official spokesman. Burnham is on the same night…

Has she really done anything in her own right rather than as the Speaker’s wife?  Perhaps some other failed council candidates, with Twitter accounts, backing someone in the Labour leadership, should ask to be on Question Time. That seems to be the criteria…

Let Them Surf Net

Foxy go-getter and entrepreneur Martha Lane Fox, the coalition’s “Champion for Digital Inclusion”, wants everyone to get online.

Speaking with Dave and IDS this morning, much fuss was made about making sure no child is left behind online, that 90% of jobs now need computers skills and some 10 million people in the UK have never used the net. While that may be true, have Dave and Martha really got their priorities sorted?

While yes, some kids don’t have broadband, that can be the least of their worries  –  more are functionally illiterate. The government’s own survey showed that 20%  of children leave school ‘functionally illiterate and innumerate’. Although it may not be as sexy a policy as digital inclusion, Guido suspects it is a lot more important, what good is connecting them to the internet going to be if they can’t read and write? Well apart from the far more visual XXX-rated internet-based research of course…

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Sunday Sleaze

Sunday Sleaze

A pretty quiet round of Sunday’s. Labour’s Frank Cook is the latest MP to feel the heat of the Telegraph’s rehashed expenses attack. The story was worth printing just for the headline, but as Dale points out these two have history. Allegedly he has been double claiming on receipts. Such dodgy accounting practices have left other Labour members in the dock…

Over in Hampshire, Caroline Nokes is facing a bit of local difficulties as moves are afoot in her Romsey constituency to have her deselected after her trysts and affairs with toy-boys have been splashed across the papers and the internet. “Shagger” is already feeling the direct influence of the local anger according to the Mail. She hasn’t been invited to the summer fête.

More dangerously for Nokes an anonymous letter writing campaign is gathering pace. Heaven knows what would happen if a certain no-holds-barred video was to appear online…

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Your Freedoms?

The Deputy Prime Minister has been allowed out for the day to promote his ever so caring and listening Your Freedom campaign. Littering his morning media appearances with anecdotes about squirrels, Clegg is asking for your submissions for laws to repeal.

The Taxpayers’ Alliance’s  new model of Susie Squire, Emma Boon was on the Today program calling for an end to taxpayer subsidies for unions  – so called “utilities funds” that allow public sector workers to carry on being paid from the public purse on days that they are doing union activities. While this can be a matter of hours, there are cases where teachers are paid not to teach but be regional union coordinators all week. A ridiculous waste of money that Labour turned a blind eye to.

As serious as some suggestions have been, perhaps we should all have a little fun. Submit your suggestions to the Your Freedom website and then post them in the comments below. The best, wittiest, or soundest ideas will get a t-shirt…

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Totty Watch : “Shagger” Nokes Grins and Bares It

Caroline Nokes, affectionately named “shagger” by the Tory whips, shocked some of the old-guard with her beaming smile as she stormed through Parliament the Monday after being done over by a Sunday newspaper for cheating on her husband with a tory-toyboy. Not batting an eyelid to the smirks and whispers, Nokes, an evangelical-Christian, clearly isn’t letting it get to her.


She certainly put on a formidable display at PMQs earlier…

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hunt for Parliament’s Pretty Boys

Anyone who is anyone in the fashion world is honoured in the new “Online Fashion 100″. So imagine Guido’s surprise when browsing the list to see Trilby-toting Vince and Cameron-lite Jeremy Hunt included in the list of players, up there with Jordan…

Now fashion may be a changing art, but Guido can only imagine this is for their service to the business side of things rather than their aesthetic contributions…

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Microphone Madness

After Mrs Duffy you would think politicians would be a little bit more careful around microphones. Red faces up north for Labour MSP Frank McAveety who forgot to turn off his microphone while discussing his mid-committee meeting totty-watching:

“There’s a very attractive girl in the second row, dark . . . and dusky. We’ll maybe put a wee word out for her. She’s very attractive looking, nice, very nice, very slim. You know… the kind you’d see in a Gaugin painting. There’s a wee bit of culture.”

Extremely cringe-worthy, but find Guido a red-blooded male who hasn’t had a conversation like that.

Down under, fellow lefty Kevin Rudd had a bizarre press conference where he dodged an awkward question by giving an in-depth critique of a female hack’s choice of clothes: “Well, that’s a point of language which you have used which is dramatically consistent with the dress which you have chosen today. It’s a great tie, it’s a nice hat, I like it a lot” Cue predictable feminist outrage.

During the ten minutes of last night’s Newsnight hustings Ed Balls and David Miliband were muttering to each other, something Balls keeps doing at these gigs. Their little side chat was broadcast… Can anyone make out what they were saying?


Seen Elsewhere

9 Mansion Tax Questions for Ed Balls | TPA
Politicians are Lying to You About Immigration | Alex Wickham
Give Journalists Public Interest Defence in Law | Guardian
Cameron is Going to Have to Deal With UKIP | Dan Hodges
Opinions on Key Issues By Constituency | Red Box
Britain Irrelevant Inside EU | Dan Hannan
Cameron Heading for Fall on Europe | Rachel Sylvester
Lords Speaker Spends £350 on Two Mile Limo Ride | Sun
Shapps Slaps Down Barroso “Propaganda” | City AM
Bookies v Pollsters: What We Learned From IndyRef | Paddy Power
Guido’s Column | Sun


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Chris Bryant talks to the Times Diary about a famous gay actor:

“I don’t think I’ve had sex with him. He says we had sex in Clapham. I’m fairly certain I’ve never had sex south of the river”



Progressive Inclusion Champion says:

Great to hear Carswell call for inclusive policies and that UKIP must stand for first and second generation immigrants as much as the English.


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