Bryony Gordon is in Love with Handsome Journalist

Blog favourite Bryony Gordon has taken to the pages of the Telegraph to declare her undying love for a fellow hack. She describes in detail how smitten she is with this “beefcake, hunk, my hero”. And who is this “chiselled god of news” that sends her weak at the knees?

Sky’s riot hero Mark Stone, of course, who else?

Apparently They’re All Sexy MPs

Belligerent old socialist Paul Flynn has come out with a corker with his updated Westminster survival guide:

“For reasons that are inexplicable, MPs – even the most superficial, unattractive, mis-shapen ones – are attractive to the other sex. It does present serious problems of going astray. There is a magnetism to this.”

The 76 year old advice for avoiding unwanted chemical attractions ranges from taking regular cold baths, thinking about death and “recognising the transitory nature of sexual relations”. Guido would have thought a big grey beard would be enough to solve any problems, but then that never stopped old Mike Hancock…

Scandalous European Parliament Email Triggers Gossipping

The following was sent to over 6,000 European Parliament email addresses this morning. As far as Guido’s Euro-sources can tell, it’s the real deal. The official who sent it had been off ill, came in today to send the email, and promptly walked out. There has been a frantic scramble to try delete it across the Parliament’s network:

Dear Secrétaire général,

Dear Freddy,

So I’ve taken the decision to resign from the PE [European Parliament] because I’ve learned some funny things about you. In effect, it would seem that you are fucking █████ and that also, you are eating the pussies of ████, ████ and ████. Don’t you think that’s shameful? These women hold interesting positions and even though others are qualified, we remain blocked. Little █████ is even a civil servant but she has never passed the course. █████ has never passed a course and she is █████████, and she has been at the PE for 10 years. So, if it’s necessary to suck the SG’s [Secrétaire Général] cock to get a position, it’s truly fucking disgusting.

It’s the same thing for the mother ██████, she’s had a child by the old ████████ ████████ and she is the SGA. [Secrétaire Général’s Assistant]

So have a good return to parliament after your well deserved holiday.

Ciao

Mari-No

Faithful servant of Princess L (AKA the Slut Princess)

The original, in French, was sent to the Secrétaire Général of the European Parliament, Klaus Welle, and Freddy Drexler, the Chef de Cabinet of the President.

Guido has redacted some of the names involved, but tongues are certainly wagging in Brussels…

Via the original that was posted by England Expects and thanks to the many Twittering translators.

How to Handle a Story

It’s rare that a press release makes Guido laugh. Normally it would take the fake exchange of kind words between a PM and a outgoing Cabinet member, but Louise Mensch’s hit the mark.  This allegation was put to Mensch, née Bagshawe by investigative hack David Jones:

Whilst working at EMI, in the 1990s, you took drugs with Nigel Kennedy at Ronnie Scott’s in Birmingham, including dancing on a dance floor, whilst drunk, with Mr Kennedy, in front of journalists. Photos of this exist.

And the reply:

Although I do not remember the specific incident, this sounds highly probable. I thoroughly enjoyed working with Nigel Kennedy, whom I remember with affection. Additionally, since I was in my twenties, I’m sure it was not the only incident of the kind; we all do idiotic things when young. I am not a very good dancer and must apologise to any and all journalists who were forced to watch me dance that night at Ronnie Scott’s.

Seems to have done the trick…

Suspicion That Surely Sophie Sutcliffe Saw

Awkward questions about Labour’s Shadow Culture Minister Ivan Lewis, aides and mobile phones are nothing new, however Guido has been musing that his current choice of Political Advisor might be a little more damaging than his sex-text-pest past. Given that Labour are in full breakup-Murdoch’s-empire-mode, what a good idea to have a former News International insider on the payroll. Well perhaps not given that Parliament has declared that it is “implausible” that those at the top of the company did not know that phone hacking was more widespread than the one rogue reporter.

When David Miliband’s campaign team disbanded, Lewis poached Sophie Sutcliffe, one of James Purnell’s many conquests and a former spinner at Portland. Interestingly she worked on the BSkyB account while she was there. Sutcliffe became Corporate Affairs Executive at News International in February 2009 and stayed there in the crucial period, until she started working for Lewis October 2010. The connection was made last week by Michael Crick, but the more Guido looks at the timings of her appointment and the developments in the News International scandal, the more questions that arise…

In the first six months Sutcliffe was at NI, the News of the World negotiated and paid out more than £1m to settle the first batch of phone-hacking cases out of court. Guido hopes Lewis asked what Sutcliffe’s full knowledge of this was? Given the vast amounts of money walking out of the door, you would think taht the Corporate Affairs Executive would have been filled in on developments. Did Sutcliffe know there was more to come? Did she pre-warn Lewis of what might be over the horizon? If she did, then why did Lewis not come forward with what he knew?

Get Your Vote Out For the Lads

Meet Diana of “Putin’s Army”. She promises to “tear my clothes off for Putin”, and encourages other girls to strip to win an iPad:

Guido predicts an upward surge in the polls.

$400 to Lie on Caroline Flint

If a politician is particularly successful, or spectacularly bad, they might get a book written about them. At the last election all sorts of tat from loo-rolls to bottle openers were emblazoned with out leaders faces. It is however a rare honour to have a whole piece of furniture named after you. Unless of course you are the Speaker.

For just $429 you can be the proud owner of the Caroline Flint Day Bed.

Apparently it is the ultimate in “comfort and versatility”, as well as being “highly durable and attractive”.

Would go perfectly with some window dressing…

Inflation Outlook: Lindsay Lohan on Monetary Policy


Monetary policy arguments can sometimes seem other-worldly, the modern equivalent of the medieval intellectual battle over how many angels can dance on the head of a pinhead? Guido (neo-Hayekian) has been rowing with Will Straw (neo-Keynesian) for years – our latest skirmish is here. It is a difficult subject to popularise in an accessible way. Straw often cites David Blanchflower, formerly of the MPC and a favourite of Gordon Brown, to back his case. Blanchflower it was who predicted a year ago that if Chancellor Osborne didn’t undertake a £90 billion stimulus package, unemployment would hit 4 million. Osborne ignored him and unemployment is down as we undergo an expansionary fiscal contraction.

In turn Guido cites the noted American actress and legendary redhead bad-girl Lindsay Lohan. She has a manifestly clearer grasp of the inflationary dangers of quantitative easing than David Blanchflower:

Lohan’s analysis is right…

Hat-tip: Fraser Nelson

Laura Kuenssberg Quits BBC for ITV Business Gig

An interesting move given she was tipped for the top Beeb job, though it doesn’t rule it out – Nick Robinson was poached back from ITV.  

Looks like it will be ITVLauraK on Twitter…

UPDATE: Seems it came as shock […]

+ READ MORE +

Why Did Luciana Chuck Her Man, Eh?

What on earth could have happened to Labour’s lovebirds Chuka Umunna and Luciana Berger? Richard Kay reports this morning that fresh from a trip to Ibiza the couple have called off their well thought-out relationship. Good news for the […]

+ READ MORE +

Bunny Dorries

Guido is intrigued by the imminent arrival of the Playboy Club in London. But not as excited as some it seems. One of Nadine Dorries’ many loyal internet fans signed her up for membership:

He’s a little disappointed by her […]

+ READ MORE +

Totty Watch: Slut Walk Special

Guido doesn’t normally agree with very much that Yasmin Alibhai-Brown has to say, but he does find himself asking the same question today. How does dressing up as sluts and marching through London help protect women? 

Looked like a fun […]

+ READ MORE +



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