Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Totty Watch: You Spoil Us Ambassador

Meet Tamara Mellon, who flew on the plane to China as one of the PM’s newly appointed Business Ambassadors:

Ms. Mellon will certainly be an asset to the PM on his visit to China, certainly an improvement on Digby Jones…

Friday, November 5, 2010

Exclusive: Dave’s Stylist Goes from CCHQ to the Civil Service

Before this May’s general election CCHQ’s Anna-Maren Ashford was the “Head of Brand Communications” and is credited with styling “Brand Dave”. The former advertising executive was brought in by Steve Hilton from Young & Rubicam to kick out the old Tory torch logo and bring in the huggable tree. The glossy 30 year-old made the right look right.

She successfully helped detoxify the Tories and turn them into the beautiful people…

Post-election she still answers to Hilton and is close to hand in the Cabinet Office should the smooth Brand Dave need further polishing – just nowadays it is at the taxpayers’ expense as a civil servant in Whitehall. Officially she works with the Behavioural Insights Strategy Team known universally across Whitehall as the “Nudge Unit”.

Dave controversially put his personal photographer, Andy Parsons, on the Civil Service payroll, the news that his image stylist has also become a civil servant will infuriate many who will question his priorities…

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Totty Watch : Boris Shows His Balls to Four Beautiful Women

With the news that Boris has been kicked out of his family home and is now living in a rented house down the road from his wife and kids, it seems he is not letting women get in the way of his day job. There was barely a sign of distraction when he met an extremely important visiting  international delegation yesterday:

Sometimes Guido wishes he could be the Mayor..

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Miliband’s Staffers

Polly Billington – Gatekeeper and PR. Former BBC presenter and SpAd at the Department for Enviroment and Climate Change. (1)

Sadiq Khan - Campaign Manager. Controversial expenses fiddling MP for Tooting.

Lucy Powell – Chief of Staff. Failed PPC. (2)

Katie Myler – Spokesman. Former SpAd to Jacqui Smith, and the daughter News of the Screws editor Colin Myler. (3)

Stewart Wood – Head of Comms. Former Brown Bunker Bod and very close to Ed. (4)

Kenny Young - Press Officer. “Calamity Kenny” just about says it all. (5)

Rachel Kinnock – Events. Keeping it in the family. (6)

Greg Beales – Speechwriter. Highly rated boyfriend of spokesgirl Katie Myler. (7)

Ayesha Hazarika – Speechwriter. Stand up comic and Harman SpAd. (8)

James Morris – Polling and Message. Ally of Democrat and Brown pollster Stan Greenberg.

Alex Smith – Messaging and New Media, though doing diary work too. Editor of LabourList. (9)

Anna Yearly – Bag carrier. (10)

Nirmalee Wanduragala – Researcher. Former SpAd to Rosie Winterton and Fabian. (11)

Calum O’Byrne Mulligan – Researcher. Friends accuse him of being “Stalinist”. (12)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Totty Watch : Bristol Palin Shaking Her Booty

Totty Trumps

It seems the misbehaving MPs feature particularly heavily in the annual Sky News conference season Top Trumps:

This year the “fanciabilty” ranking has caused a few eyebrows. No surprise that the judges (Sir Michael White, Quentin Letts, Sophy Ridge, Paul Waugh, Julia Hartley-Brewer, Iain Dale and Katie Snape) gave pretty boy Zac Goldsmith 100%, but David Miliband on 95%… really?

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Coulson’s Five A Day

What is it with Downing Street Heads of Communication? First we had Campbell’s cringe-worthy porno writing career and now Coulson’s getting his kit off. The high pressure atmosphere of a tabloid newsroom is often cited for various misdemeanours concerning the law. Now we know why Coulson was oblivious of what was going on – he was modelling for The Sun’s “Dear Deirdre” page:

(Full Page)

“Mick” was not available for comment…

Friday, August 13, 2010

Fact Check: Bouncing Bryony Boobs Column

Shock waves have been sent through the national media today by The Telegraph’s Bryony Gordon. Seemingly tasked with making Colonels splutter into their cornflakes, the former 3am Girl this week devoted her entire column to her ample bosom and the debate surrounding topless sunbathing. Something about the piece got Guido thinking, so he got the Guy News Fact Check team on the case.

In the article Bryony claims:

“When I go on holiday, I like to sunbathe topless. The beach towel goes down, the book comes out, and the bikini top flies off, often in the direction of a startled looking friend who has clearly never seen a pair of breasts before. Topless sunbathing is a wonderful thing, a holiday in itself from underwired bras… Many believe that the topless sunbather is an exhibitionist, a minx and a strumpet. They are mistaken – mostly, we just don’t like tan lines. And we don’t mind our breasts. Is that such a bad thing?

But the picture tells a different story. Here is Bryony snapped on holiday, displaying clear and obvious tan-lines where her bikini top has been. Fact Check verdict? Fiction.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Labour’s Lady of the Night

Mandy isn’t the only Labour politician willing to throw in some juicy details in order to flog a few copies. Nottingham councillor and writer Catharine Arnold tells of intriguing past while promoting her new book City of Sin:

“Far from looking like a conventional hooker, I was a gamine public-school girl with a fresh complexion and a good figure. I had always had a thing about older men, perhaps because I lost my father young. I was never hard enough to be a real ‘Mayfair mercenary’, as the top girls were known. I never went to Tokyo Joe’s or Tramp, and the women who did terrified me. I wasn’t interested in rock starts or celebrities. I knew my type: they were the older men who would find in the quiet bar and take me to dinner and tell me about their children. I nursed the hope that at some stage I would meet a kindly sugar daddy who would set me up in Mayfair. But I never found such a man.”

Guido is surprised she never made it further up the greasy pole…

Balls’s Bungled Pledge

Yesterday Ed Balls made a big song and dance about signing a pledge that all interns should be paid the minimum wage. He even released a video of him and one of his own office interns discussing it. Except that’s not quite what he said:

“It’s really important if you are interning or volunteering in a House of Commons office that you get properly paid.”

Interns and volunteers.

So what about his very own voluptuous volunteer Ellie “Stilettos” Gellard, Twitter queen and cursed backer of Gordon? Gellard has been strutting around with a pass, on the Balls campaign, yet apparently isn’t taking a penny?

A volunteer you might say… So it’s fine that all interns and volunteers must be paid, just not Ed’s campaign staff. Or if she is being paid, why hasn’t it been declared?


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
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Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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