Sunday, February 13, 2011

Fancy a Berger?

The comments section has been rife for a couple of days with innuendo about vacuous pretty boy Chuka Umunna and ruthlessly mobile Luciana Berger. So Guido is a little annoyed to have been scooped by Nigel Nelson who broke the news that they are now a (power) couple. Apparently they have been secretly dating for a few months.

Though not his biggest fan, Guido has a word of warning for Chuka – watch your back. Ms. Berger is going places and knows exactly how to get what she wants. First it was dating Euan Blair in 2004 – what was it that first attracted this young ambitious party hack to a nerdy kid who can’t hold his beer?

Then there was her liaison with Siôn Simon that triggered an internal war in Labour after the then junior minister pulled strings to get the relative unknown a safe seat. She upset the locals and he was ditched for some other reason. And now the leader’s PPS. Ah to climb the greasy pole…

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Totty Watch: The New Intake

It’s that time of year again when Sky News draw up their top ten lists of the most fanciable MPs. There have been some rather strange winners in the past, but with the amount of new talent floating about the Labour and Tory benches, the winner must be from the rather well turned out new intake.

By conducting sophisticated media monitoring and having polled the newsroom, Guido’s shortlist would have to include opposing blonde bombshells Stella Creasy and Nicola Blackwood, Liz Truss, metal loving Louise Bagshaw and TV’s Esther McVey. There is stiff competition from the brunettes Priti Patel, Luciana “Heir to Blair” Berger, Caroline “Shagger” Nokes as well as Scottish roses Alison McGovern and Pam “Baby of the House” Nash. And of course there is always Gloria.

Proving you really can get by with just a pretty face is Chuka Umanna. Ever seen Zac and Tristrum Hunt in the same room? Matt Hancock sets bag-carrier hearts a fluttering, apparently. For those ladies looking to add a little mystery to your romance try Rory “Double O” Stewart, Chris Kelly is a man in touch with his emotional side and if lanky is your thing, there’s always Jacob Rees Mogg.

Add your suggestions below for Guido’s poll tomorrow…

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

BS SOS!

It’s all hands to the deck as the HMS Big Society takes water below the bow. Luckily someone is tooled up, hoping to plug the hole:

What a coincidence that today after sustained attack on the BS, Mrs Cameron was out and about visiting a social breakdown charity in Reading. Apparently “it is very exciting to see a social action project so successfully bringing together different elements in the community to help young people struggling with mainstream education”. Activate the Sam Cam…

Maggie Streep

Friday, February 4, 2011

More Than “A Storm in a Bedsheet”

There is no denying that Sally Bercow makes for hugely entertaining copy, but the odds against a challenge to her husband in the next year tightened last night. This morning’s papers were full of anonymous quotes from ministers In the Times there was one saying “There are limits but this goes too far. This is a fierce challenge to the dignity of Parliament. The sooner we are rid of the both of them, the better”. In the Mail another said the photo yesterday “brought Parliament into disrepute and was likely to hasten efforts to remove her husband as Speaker.”

The discontent is growing and coming from higher up the Tory ladder.

UPDATE: Another Tory backbencher comes forward describing the Bercow’s the “Marcoses of British politics.” Sally wasn’t too happy with on Radio 5 earlier.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Gloria Gives Chase

Their tension in the House has been noted previously. First it was those passionate gazes held for an extra second across the despatch box in hot and heavy Culture Media and Sport sessions, but it seems Gloria just can’t get enough of Ed Vaizey. While Ed was busy chatting up/to the somewhat hostile MumsNet crowd for their lunchtime web interview, his shadow just couldn’t stay away, wading in with her own questions:

Ed’s reply was short and firm.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Gabby Goes Favourite

Friday, January 21, 2011

Totty Watch: Sexy Riot Chicks

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Meryl Thatcher

A dull and bloodless PMQs was livened up as Meryl Streep was spotted in the gallery getting tips for her upcoming film about Thatcher. Number 10 apparently organised the ticket, though Guido isn’t sure why given what has emerged so far about its content. For some reason Streep apparently plays a sad Baroness, looking back at her life with regret. Guido’s heart is bleeding already. Personally he reckons they should have stuck with Oliver Stone’s plan of casting Sienna Miller in the role for his biopic

Friday, January 14, 2011

Totty Watch : Berlusconi’s Jailbait Ruby

He is 74, she was a 17 year-old nightclub dancer who came to one of his parties last year, for which she says she was paid €7,000. Later, when Ruby was arrested, Berlusconi called the police and got her sprung.  Under Italian law sex with a prostitute under the age of 18 is a criminal offence. Ruby says they didn’t have sex, he says it is laughable and politically motivated left-wing prosecutors are trying to get him. Who to believe?


Seen Elsewhere

Milburn Health Consultancy Worth £2 Million | Scrapbook
Stuart Broad Right, Peston Broadly Wrong | Ryan Bourne
The 38 Seats in England Yet to Select a Tory Candidate | ConHome
Labour and Green Ecofascism | Matthew Walsh
Burnham Shows Why Labour Can’t Be Trusted | Speccie
Why Online Voting is a Crap Idea | Ballot Box
Time We Showed Super Rich Some Love | Alice Thomson
We Need True Popular Capitalism | Maurice Saatchi
Labour’s Winning Hand | Sebastian Shakespeare
We Defend Labour’s Record | John Hutton and Alan Milburn
100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph


Rising Stars
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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”


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