World’s Second Most Popular Porn Website Infecting Viewers

hamster

xHamster, the second most popular pornography website in the world with half a billion viewers a month, is infecting a huge number of its goggle eyed clientel with malware. The smut merchants at xHamster have been in the spotlight before for not protecting their viewers from malicious software, but according to one analyst, the past few days have seen computer infections originating from xHamster increase by 1500%.

Attackers are taking advantage of a recently discovered vulnerability in Adobe’s Flash player to infect the computers of online erotica aficionados who click on advertising on the xHamster website with the Bedep trojan, a virus that constantly downloads new viruses the victims computer.

Techno Guido recommends using protection..

 

Selfie Sticks Banned at UK Music Venues

selfie

Once upon a time they were the domain of the Asian tourist, but now they are so popular that nanny is coming for them. In a shocking clamp down on freedom, a group of major music venues have now banned “selfie sticks”. The O2 Academy Brixton, London’s O2 Arena and the SSE Wembley Arena are now stick free zones. These extendible poles allow users to take self photos from new and exciting angles have become something of cultural phenomenon recently. While the venues still welcome selfie taking, the use of elongated aids have been forbidden on health and safety grounds. A real blow to cleavage shots.

Karen Danczuk To Quit Being Labour Councillor

Just days after slagging Ed Miliband off in the papers, we get this:

Sad face #selfie.

Familiar Ring to Labour Spin

Labour were very quick to get a quote out about the 4Children charity childcare survey this morning, swiftly claiming the report showed “under David Cameron, childcare costs have rocketed by 30 per cent since 2010. Wages are down by £1,600 and the availability of childcare has plummeted”. Ed Balls’ spinmeister Alex Belardinelli had a particular interest in plugging the story, too:

By some strange coincidence, who is 4Children’s spin queen? Regular readers will remember Ellie Gellard, ex-Labour adviser and fiancée of one Alex Belardinelli, now Head of Communications for the charity. Surely not another case for the increasingly attentive Charity Commission to investigate…

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: Mrs Danczuk’s New Year Message

What a year 2014 was for Guido’s favourite Labour councillor. Selfie star Karen Danczuk kindly took a few moments out from her holiday in Spain to send Guido these exclusive snaps from the pool, revealing her New Year’s resolutions are to “take on new challenges, live each day like it’s my last and to continue my weight loss”. Which incidentally are exactly the same as Guido’s. Here’s to more of the same from Mrs D in 2015…

WATCH: Highlights From Face-Sitting Porn Protest

Watch Guido’s entire NSFW coverage here.

Exclusive: Tories Block Newmark Comeback

As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun on Sunday, the selection process in Braintree to replace disgraced dick pic king Brooks Newmark has been cancelled amid speculation he is planning the unlikeliest of comebacks. Brooks was spotted holding secret talks with his local association after concerns about the quality of the other candidates. Despite him promising post-parliament penance working for charity, he saw his chance. Tory sources confirm from Westminster that Brooks had been “wavering”, however, Guido understands any attempt by him to stand again has been blocked by high command: “It’s not going to happen”. Just as Guido was preparing to stand as the Pyjama Party candidate…

WATCH: Penny’s Commons Cock Controversy Compilation

Always the provider of public service blogging, Guido has collated the highlights of Penny Mordaunt’s Commons “cock welfare” debate – as revealed in the Sun on Sunday and elsewhere – into a six second clip. A cock and bull story…

Labour Candidate Posts Full Frontal Vagina Pic on Twitter

Tory MP Karl McCartney appears to have ‘done a Dromey’, in other words ‘favouriting’ a saucy picture on his Twitter account. His Labour opponent’s decision to flag this up, uncensored, to her followers will have had them choking on their […]

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ITN Girl’s Sambuca’d Pirouettes in Central Lobby

sambuca-d-Sarah-Vaughan-Bro

[…]

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UN Special Envoy Slams Miliband’s Mansion Tax

United Nations Special Envoy and High Commissioner of the UNHCR, Angelina Jolie, has voiced her concerns about Ed Miliband’s mansion tax:

“I’m quite responsible about money. That could put me off [moving to London].”

Wonder who could have put her […]

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Which Politician Would You Snog Under the Mistletoe?

Guido is donning his brown cords for the Political Studies Association awards dinner this evening. The PSA have done some very early festive polling to find out who the public would most like to stand under the mistletoe with. Clegg […]

+ READ MORE +



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David Cameron tells MPs after voting:

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