As markets plunged yesterday George Bush convened a White House summit to push an emergency $150 billion growth stimulus package through Congress in weeks. He called in heavyweight politicians for a bipartisan effort. Elsewhere in Washington an emergency meeting of the Federal Reserve slashed interest rates 75 basis points in an effort to shore up global markets fearing recession. What does Gordon do?

He takes time out to appear on Blue Peter to wish Konnie Huq good luck in her next job. Yes, the Prime Minister has his own weird sense of priorities.

The first Ms Fawkes was weaned in a weekend and took to the bottle like her father. We were spending the summer in France and French baby formula is creamy rich. Her eyes lit up, she grabbed the bottle and mum retired to take some paracetamol. Her mother’s services were no longer required.

The second daughter is very different, she is six months old and treats the bottle with contempt. Mother is sleeping in the spare room, Father Fawkes is sharing a bedroom with baby and cot. Any sight of mother results in tears and cries demanding mother’s milk and only mother’s milk. Her father proffering a bottle is treated with total contempt. Her eyes say “Where are the boobs?” The bottle is spat out, hours pass, much baby formula is spilt. It occurs to Guido that the reason nobody has written a “Father’s Guide to Baby Weaning” is because they were just too tired to write it.

Sleep deprivation is a recognised means of breaking interrogation subjects. The lack of contiguous sleep eventually dissolves the subjects will and mental powers. Guido is too tired to even want alcohol…

Guido likes Sarkozy. His missus dumps him after conducting a not-so-discreet affair. Is he humiliated and downhearted? No, he pulls Carla Bruni, a super-model. Good work fella…

Here in Ireland even separated Bertie Ahern has been frolicking with his fancy-woman despite being mired in corruption investigations – the former Finance Minister is trying to explain away why he had no bank account and literally bundles of cash from property developers.

It makes one wonder. If Gordon got the push from Sarah, what would he do? Would he pull a super-model? Who would make a good partner for Gordon Brown?

We say farewell to Sadie at Westmonster. Her star shone bright briefly before Guido saw her off. Whatever happened to the Honourable Fiend?

We now say hello to another girly political gossip from the Westminster Whirlwind (a.k.a. Katy Taylor-Richards). Her new blog for the Express this week takes a look at some of Dessie Swayne’s moves.

They do say write about what you know…

They did invite Guido to the Conservative Future Xmas party but alas it seems the only girls an old rake like Guido sees nowadays are his own progeny.

Still this came in an email and it would be a shame not to share…

That alleged line from Bill Clinton in his former mistress’ book Sleeping With the President: My Intimate Years With Bill Clinton by Gennifer Flowers, where he is said to have claimed that Hillary “has probably eaten more pussy than I have” has now gone mainstream thanks to the London Times.

The U.S. political gossip blogs are now re-telling the story. The story is about Hilary’s aide, the hot-looking totty, Huma Abedin (pictured), with whom she is alleged to be having an affair. Hilary’s campaign says “it is not even a tabloid trash story”.If Hilary Clinton says it is tabloid trash, it must be trash, right? Mind you, that is exactly what she said about Monica Lewinsky and come to think of it, Gennifer Flower’s affair with Bill…

Not much to report this morning, Ming has hinted that the Huhnie monsters could have been behind his demise. Huhne himself is expected to launch his campaign today. The Cleggies are texting all and sundry – Shane Greer has a screenshot of the hastily hidden, soon-to-be launched Clegg campaign site.

Some are speculating that the 29 year-old Julia Goldsworthy might run as a marker for the future. So after arguing for 18 months that age (he was 66) and experience (of sprinting) trumped looks and charisma, they could switch to a photogenic reality TV show contestant as leader – Julia is 40/1 on Betfair. Excellent idea, it couldn’t be any worse…

UPDATE : A co-conspirator says she has told her local rag she definitely won’t be running. Boo.

UPDATE II : John Hemming, who has confirmed he wants to run, is a mere 180 /1 on Betfair. He tells Guido he expects to get 5 nominations already!

UPDATE III : Vince Cable has ruled himself out this morning. Telling Nick Robinson that given “the current irrational prejudice about age… an older candidate is not electable”. Rationally, the 64 year-old slaphead is almost indistinguishable from Ming to voters.

UPDATE IV : Steve Webb says he has enough nominations, but is coming over all coy and pretending he is not sure if he really wants to run.

This poster for the upcoming Polish elections on behalf of the Women’s Party (Partia Kobiet) has the slogan: “Everything for the future… and nothing to hide.” Which, typically of politicians, is a barefaced lie since they seem to be hiding behind a poster.

“We are beautiful, nude, proud. We are true and sincere, body and soul. This is not pornography, there is nothing to see in terms of sex, our faces are intelligent, concerned, proud. We do not have our mouths open nor our eyes closed… All that interests us is the future, the position of women in society. We will open the archives of the former secret communist agents, we will make known their corrupt affairs,” says party president Manuela Gretkowska. Naked anti-communism? Gets Guido’s vote…

Hat-tip : Raincoaster

Recess Monkey* is having a bit of fun with some Tory girls in the back of a car. The new Tory Stand Up, Speak Up site has three videos with these nice girls on a 40 minute car journey discussing Conservative policies, Pete André and Jordan, Grazia magazine and Victoria Beckham.

He mocks them. Guido wants to remind you that it is Recess Monkey who during the Labour deputy elections directed an eight part interview with Hilary and Tony Benn waffling in semi-darkness into a video camera controlled by a Parkinson’s sufferer. (Surprisingly Hilary didn’t win the leadership election.)

Like the Monkey, Guido too wants to know, who are the girls?

The on/off Margaret Thatcher movie from Oliver Stone, the maker of JFK, is rumoured to be on, with the gorgeous Sienna Miller to play the young Margaret Thatcher. Just in case anyone accuses Guido of sexism, note that the pictures (from Layer Cake) are from her memorable scene with Daniel Craig, the male totty d’jour. He has not been lined up to play Dennis…