I loved it when @richardpbacon earlier asked employment minister Chris grayling if he shopped at @Ann_Summers—
Jacqueline Gold (@Jacqueline_Gold) May 25, 2012

… Chris Grayling answered "erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm…..

I promised to send him a goody bag!—
Jacqueline Gold (@Jacqueline_Gold) May 25, 2012

Via: OnTablets

Reliable Tory sources tell Guido that IDS SpAd Susie Squire is being lined up to replace Henry Macrory as the Head of Press at CCHQ. Guido spoke to Susie this morning who refused to comment on our well sourced speculation.  The frontline job at DWP is one of the toughest spinning jobs in government, yet Squire, a veteran former spinner for the Taxpayers’ Alliance,  has still managed to remain popular amongst hacks…

Via @CallumMay

UPDATE:

I see I've been credited for a lame gag by @guidofawkes. Probably a good time to emphasise that my jokes are not the views of my employer…—
Callum May (@callummay) May 10, 2012

BBC types eh!

Madeline Grant, a 19-year-old student at Oxford University was running for the position of librarian of the Oxford Union with the slogan: ‘I don’t hack, I just have a great rack.’ As a result, a Union tribunal on Wednesday evening fined her £120 for ‘bringing the Union into disrepute’ and the politically correct humourless lefties have made Madeline’s life a misery.  She says she “wanted to make a point about the people who run the Union taking themselves far too seriously, and their response has proved  that point. I’ve also found it very interesting that I was being accused of sexism, but they went to great lengths to punish a woman for making a joke about her body. I can’t help thinking that seems strange.”

She shouldn’t worry, anyone can see she has a great future in front of her.

The Chief Constable of Cumbria Police Stuart Hyde says that they are looking into the “pretty horrendous” and potentially illegal comments about Louise  Mensch made on Twitter.

Given many of them were in people’s own names, it shouldn’t be too tricky to track them down.

Idiots…

It does amuse Guido that those so quick to dismiss the views of Nadine Dorries in very personal terms because they disagree with her, have showered her with praise today for going for Cameron’s jugular on today’s Daily Politics. If a sustained bitter campaign of bile was unleashed in a similar way from the right on a female Labour MP, the kickback would be very different. If Nadine really holds her party leadership in such low regard, is it not time for it to send an even clearer message? Twitter would love it…

Guido will be tuning into This Week tonight…

“Ordinary people are being forced to pay for the bankers’ profligacy” screamed Tony Benn in 2010. “This government of millionaires says “we’re all in it together” and “there is no alternative”. But, for the wealthy, corporation tax is being cut, the bank levy is a pittance, and top salaries and bonuses have already been restored to pre-crash levels.” It seems his Oxford educated granddaughter got the message. Guido wishes Emily the very best of luck in the Equity Sales and Trading department at UBS…

A great spot by Emily Fox over at the Express:

Most unlike Gordon…

As regular readers will know, Guido has always had an eye for fashion.

He thought he’d let GQ’s Olivia Cole, our new fashion correspondent, give us the low down on the US trip though:

“Hot fuchsia pink, a conspicuous absence of a formal jacket for the President’s welcome and stepping off the plane in a pair of skinny black cropped trousers and best-of-British Burberry coat, Samantha Cameron is plainly determined not to look like a cardboard cut out politician’s wife. Let’s remember that it’s not just frocks, it’s business and British business at that. 

The LK Bennett shoes worn so far are, frankly, a bit yawn but on the other hand they are likely to be comfortable and possible to wear for hours at a time (you can’t always say this for more fashionable footwear) Perhaps a £900 shoe is deemed a bit much. Her black trench coat worn yesterday was by Burberry – the pragmatic item mythologized by creative director Christopher Bailey and re-invented every season. Cynics sick of fashion commentary accompanying the Special Relationship love-in should take a look at their bank balance – founded 1856 , Burberry today it’s a FTSE 100 company with an annual turnover of £1.5bn.

As well as flying the flag for an established British success story like Burberry, this touring fashion show is championing emerging London businesses too. Mrs Cameron’s hot pink fuchsia top (with an on trend peplum) and blue, aquamarine and cream dress today are both by one-to-watch Serbian born, London based Roksanda Ilincic. With red carpet fans from Kate Hudson to Cate Blanchett, and Keira Knightley, in recent years her stock has been quietly and elegantly rising. Her signature is brilliant classic-with-a-twist tailoring (her dresses fit perfectly, surely a must have for an occasion in the spotlight). Her always surprising use of colour gives a very modern edge to dresses inspired by Parisian silhouettes of the 40s and 50s. For those that gripe “it cost HOW MUCH”… “£1200 for a jacket… in a recession” it’s worth remembering that for the designers, the resulting publicity is frankly priceless.”

We’ll have the full state banquet report tomorrow…

Olivia Cole is the Literary Editor of GQ. And Neo-Guido’s sister.