Friday, December 12, 2014

WATCH: Highlights From Face-Sitting Porn Protest

Watch Guido’s entire NSFW coverage here.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Exclusive: Tories Block Newmark Comeback

As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun on Sunday, the selection process in Braintree to replace disgraced dick pic king Brooks Newmark has been cancelled amid speculation he is planning the unlikeliest of comebacks. Brooks was spotted holding secret talks with his local association after concerns about the quality of the other candidates. Despite him promising post-parliament penance working for charity, he saw his chance. Tory sources confirm from Westminster that Brooks had been “wavering”, however, Guido understands any attempt by him to stand again has been blocked by high command: “It’s not going to happen”. Just as Guido was preparing to stand as the Pyjama Party candidate…

Monday, December 1, 2014

WATCH: Penny’s Commons Cock Controversy Compilation

Always the provider of public service blogging, Guido has collated the highlights of Penny Mordaunt’s Commons “cock welfare” debate – as revealed in the Sun on Sunday and elsewhere – into a six second clip. A cock and bull story…

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Labour Candidate Posts Full Frontal Vagina Pic on Twitter

Tory MP Karl McCartney appears to have ‘done a Dromey’, in other words ‘favouriting’ a saucy picture on his Twitter account. His Labour opponent’s decision to flag this up, uncensored, to her followers will have had them choking on their lunch:

lucy

Red faces all round…

UPDATE:

ITN Girl’s Sambuca’d Pirouettes in Central Lobby

sambuca-d-Sarah-Vaughan-Bro

Guessing Sarah Vaughan-Brown, ITN’s Communications Director, won’t be feeling so very right this morning…

UPDATE: The morning after the night before…

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

UN Special Envoy Slams Miliband’s Mansion Tax

United Nations Special Envoy and High Commissioner of the UNHCR, Angelina Jolie, has voiced her concerns about Ed Miliband’s mansion tax:

“I’m quite responsible about money. That could put me off [moving to London].”

Wonder who could have put her up to that…

Clip via Channel 4 News.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Which Politician Would You Snog Under the Mistletoe?

Guido is donning his brown cords for the Political Studies Association awards dinner this evening. The PSA have done some very early festive polling to find out who the public would most like to stand under the mistletoe with. Clegg soars to 2%…

Monday, November 24, 2014

Tory Mayoral Candidate’s Nude Pics

“I’m a complete rags to riches boy,” Nick Boles’ old flatmate Ivan Massow tells the Standard today, as he announces his intention to be the Tory candidate for London mayor in 2016. Presumably these photos were taken before he could afford clothes…

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

WATCH: Myleene Klass Demolishes Ed Miliband on Mansion Tax

Ed Miliband had a rough time on ITV’s The Agenda, crumbling under the forensic questioning of his hard-hitting interviewer and grope victim, singer Myleene Klass.

“Is that [the mansion tax] your only option? You might as well tax me on this glass of water. You can’t just point at things and tax them. You need to have a better strategy.”

“How much are you actually going to make from this? Some people are saying that there are 58,000 [homes that would fall under mansion tax], some people are saying there are 100,000.”

The verdict was clear:

Tom Bradby had to stop the fight…

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Chuka Boasts of Mystery Girlfriend

The Shadow Business Secretary and closet DJ Chuka Umunna has been boasting about what good mates he is with Tinie Tempah: “Tinie and I are friends, we go way back,” he told the Standard at a party: “We’re both Nigerian, both from south London. He’s from Peckham, I’m Streatham.” He even got a hug from the rapper later.

It was party boy Chuka’s chat with City AM’s diarist that really caught Guido’s attention though. Apparently Chuka prefers staying in now:

“I love watching Gogglebox with my girlfriend.”

A shocking revelation… What is it about Gogglebox’s constant laying into Ed Miliband that Chuka enjoys the most?


Seen Elsewhere

Greens are UKIP for Young People | Telegraph
Short-Termism of CCHQ | ConHome
May Aide: CCHQ Are Being Misleading | Telegraph
Tories Planning For Second Election | Guardian
We Are Losing Cyber War | Fraser Nelson
Osborne Aide Lands Pay Rise | Mirror
The Sick Of It | Sun
UKIP MEP’s Welfare Hypocrisy | Channel 4
Rise of Angela Merkel | New Yorker
May SpAd Removed From Candidates List | ConHome
Clodagh’s Law | Press Gazette


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The Economist asks Tony Blair about Wendi Deng:

“Mr Blair roundly denies any impropriety. Asked whether he was (at least) careless about his reputation, he says calmly that it is “not something I will ever talk about—I haven’t and I won’t”, and then bangs his coffee cup so loudly into its saucer that it spills and everyone in the room jumps. But did he find himself in a tangle over his friendship with Ms Deng? A large, dark pool of sweat has suddenly appeared under his armpit, spreading across an expensive blue shirt. Even Mr Blair’s close friends acknowledge that the saga damaged him—not least financially, since Mr Murdoch stopped contributing to Mr Blair’s faith foundation and cut him off from other friendly donors in America.”


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