Milton Keynes MP Ben Everitt has had his bare chest brought into a superheated argument over nuclear waste in his constituency. Everitt posted photos of himself swimming and sunbathing back in August, now they’ve been used by the Labour leader of Milton Keynes City Council Peter Marland to accuse Everitt of taking “thirst trap” pictures instead of working on stopping a new nuclear waste site.

“I am not a liar. What you should do […] is that the MP in question should put his shirt on and should stop taking ‘thirst trap’ pictures”.

Marland’s claim that Everitt “plans to dump nuclear waste in Milton Keynes” was quickly dismissed as drivel after it turned out that a routine Nuclear Waste Services meeting was what got Labour hot and bothered. Must be why Everitt didn’t bother wearing protection from radiation…

With local elections to be held in ten days’ time, Guido has already been inundated with more council candidate crazies. One such example is Labour’s Chris Mawby, standing for election to Rugby Borough Council. As well as being a railway worker, a campaigner for the RMT and an “aspiring model“, Chris is a regular at Labour conference. All well and good so far…

Where Chris differs from most other council candidate is in his extra-curricular pursuits – he also finds time to create content on OnlyFans. For co-conspirators of pure mind, OnlyFans is a subscription service for sex-workers. Chris, for example, charges $3 per month and has enough subscriptions to put him (according to his X-rated Twitter’s cover photo) in the top 76% of content creators. Maybe not something to boast about…

As a public service, Guido has taken it upon himself to delve further into Chris’s Twitter history and it’s not for the faint of heart. At one point he lists his charges, which include: £10 for nudes, £10 per hour of calls, £10 for “W***ing vids and peeing vids”, as well as bundles for £20:

Guido’s money-saving advice to any curious co-conspirators is to preserve their savings – Chris gives most of his content away for free anyway. It doesn’t take a deep dive to find nudes and even videos of him urinating… at work.

Yet another instance of Labour’s candidate vetting taking the p*ss.

Taking to Instagram yesterday, Veterans Minister Johnny Mercer highlighted his hard work on employment and homelessness – longstanding social issues facing ex-servicemen, which have proved stiff to tackle.

The honourable member also noted the weather in London this week, saying it had been a “busy but cold week”. Looking closely at the photo, however, it appears No. 10 has the heating on full blast. 

Given recent rumours about Mercer’s talks to defect to Labour, it’s no surprise to see Johnny leans to the left…

After passing her self-inflicted drug test, the Finnish PM has now had to apologise after a photo emerged of two young female influencers snogging whilst topless. This is starting to make Partygate look mild…

The photo was uploaded to TikTok by well-known Finnish influencer Sabina Sarkka, of her and another influencer kissing topless, upholding their modesty with a sign saying “Finland”. Taken at the PM’s official residence in Helsinki…

Footage from the party has also emerged of the PM dancing —  grinding — with said influencer later on in the evening. No sign of the party finnishing early…

The image has now, unfortunately, been taken down* and PM Sanna Marin said, “In my opinion, the picture is not appropriate. I apologise for it.” This whole story is proving fantastic free advertising for the country’s tourism board…

*Guido’s managed to recover the original TikTok, though it’s just a photo over music…

Congratulations to the newest member of Liverpool city council, 22-year old Ellie Byrne, who claimed her own stonking majority in the by-election for the Everton ward seat on Thursday – raking in 925 votes on a 62% share. A seat which, until January, was held by her Labour MP Ian Byrne… her father.

Byrne held the council position alongside his Westminster seat for over two years, presumably because he knew he was the best person for the job. Now his daughter has graduated from university, that appears to have changed, with Ellie soaring to victory without so much as giving an interview to local press and to the dismay of fellow campaigners. An anonymous email from furious Labour activists leading up to the election wrote:

“Does Labour condone nepotism as a way to recruit councillor candidates? To say we are startled by this information, that the candidate for this by-election is actually the daughter of the outgoing councillor, is an understatement.” 

The Labour NEC insists everything is above board, with Ellie selected “based on her own ability“. Byrne senior, meanwhile, has mostly stayed quiet about the whole thing, although just a day after his daughter’s win, Guido noticed Ian claim that Rishi’s ongoing tax headaches proved “his political choices benefit no one but his family & his interests”. Takes one to know one…

The Press Secretary of the Russian President Dmitry Peskov* has restated the conditions under which Russia is ready to stop hostilities. “They were told that all this could stop at one moment,” Peskov was quoted as saying by Reuters. These include Ukraine ceasing military action, changing its constitution to enshrine neutrality, acknowledging Crimea as Russian territory and recognising the rebel-held areas of Donetsk and Luhansk as independent territories.

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky said last month that Kyiv will not “give up its own”, expressing confidence that control over the Donbas and Crimea would return to Ukraine “exclusively through diplomacy.” Slava Ukraini!

*Peskov’s daughter Elizaveta, on the other hand, posts “No to War” on Instagram.