CCHQ Out of Millbank in January

As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun column, the Tories will move CCHQ in January from Millbank to Matthew Parker Street behind the QEII Conference Centre in Westminster. After the students smashed up Millbank in 2011, their insurance bill soared. All three major parties will have moved since 2010 by the next election. Their new building doesn’t have a name yet, but Guido imagines the focus groups will stop them having the balls to christen it Margaret Thatcher House. Global Race for Hard-working People House just isn’t very catchy…

Should Guido Sue Claire Perry?

Last night after Guido reported the legitimate news that anti-porn campaigner Claire Perry had been targeted by internet hackers who hosted porn on her website, the Tory MP went proper shouty crackers on Twitter.

  • She then bizarrely claimed that Guido had sponsored the hacking of her website.
  • When smears did not work, Perry then tried vague threats about calling the editor of  The Sun, despite the story appearing on the blog, for which the editor of The Sun doesn’t have any responsibility.

You can read her collected tweets here. They are without any foundation, merit or a shred of evidence to back them up. Guido suspects it is based on Perry’s dislike of the blog bringing the pushy MP back down to earth occasionally. Perry does not have a leg to stand on here, so if she does not retract the bonkers allegations, should Guido unleash his lawyers? You won’t like them when they’re angry.

So in the now fashionable manner popularised by the government the blog has decided to put the decision out to consultation to the readers. Poll closes at midday. Vote below…

Claire Perry’s Website Hacked By Porn Prankers

Poor Claire Perry. Dave’s anti-porn campaigner has had her website hacked, so if you go to the address below* you are directed to a series of explicit adult images. The vast majority of which are certainly unsuitable for a family blog such as this.

goatse

At least her website will be blocked when the new rules come into effect…

* NSFW if you work somewhere boring.

Lynton: “No Discussion, Conversation or Lobbying”

Some non-baby related news, though toys will no doubt be thrown out of the pram. Lynton Crosby has just put out this statement:

“The Prime Minister has repeatedly and clearly said that I have never lobbied him on anything, including on the issue of tobacco or plain packaging of cigarettes. What the PM said should be enough for any ordinary person but to avoid any doubt or speculation let me be clear. At no time have I had any conversation or discussion with or lobbied the Prime Minister, or indeed the Health Secretary or the health minister, on plain packaging or tobacco issues. Indeed, any claim that I have sought to improperly use my position as part-time campaign adviser to the Conservative Party is simply false.”

A slightly more comprehensive answer than the PM…

Tory Candidate Bowled a Googly

As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun, Hopeful Tory candidates looking to become MPs at selection meetings are being greeted with the awkward question of “what is the most embarrassing thing we would find if we Googled you?” Regular readers will remember wannabe MP Ben Howlett, who found this out the hard way when he was down to the final two in the selection process for the marginal seat of Westminster North last weekend. After joking it would probably be some drunken pictures from a birthday party, he was stumped when actual Google search results were read out, including his praise for IRA terrorist turned Sinn Fein MP Gerry Adams and rant that America needed to “get over” 9/11. Needless to say he did not win the contest…

Maria “Nicola Murray” Miller

In boycotting the Open Golf Championship because it doesn’t allow women members, and then putting political pressure on the BBC to demand they take action against John “no looker” Inverdale, struggling Maria Miller has excelled herself this week. So much so that DCMS civil servants have nicknamed her Nicola Murray after the bungling minister from the Thick of It. Unfortunately for everyone who has to work with her, she will no doubt survive the reshuffle when it eventually happens. After all, as Malcolm Tucker put it to Nicola:

“Look, don’t worry. The PM is not going to sack you after a week. Sacked after twelve months, looks like you’ve f***ed up. Sacked after a week, looks like he’s f***ed up.”

Looks like Dave will have to wait to put her out of her misery.

MPs Own Bone

Despite having the backing of the party leadership for once, Peter Bone lost last night in his bid to remain chairman of the APPG for Human Trafficking. Some have suggested he has not been as serious in his reelection campaign as the subject matter requires. Having his wife write rude emails to Labour MPs and politicising the issue beyond standard party bickering has bitten the professional moaner. Guido suspects that the whole Mr and Mrs Bone schtick is wearing a bit thin and his colleagues saw the chance to give him a slap…

UPDATE: Bone speaks:

“I would particularly like to thank all those Ministers who came to vote, despite their busy schedules. In fact, I know some travelled back just to vote. A special thank you to the Prime Minister who took the time to vote (especially as I am sometimes a pain in the neck for him!)”

Beware the Ides of May: Dave’s Home Office Good News “Hijack”

With good news for the Home Office expected tomorrow in the shape of crime figures, the PM has decided to get in on the action. The day after a Tory backbencher tells their leader that “self-promoters” in the Cabinet should be “firmly put back in their box”, Guido understands that Dave will be joining the Home Secretary to bask in her reflected glory. A Whitehall source accuses Cameron of “deliberately hijacking” the day, though Home Office sources insist that they are “totally cool” with the planned joint visit tomorrow. Lets hope the TM and the PM remember to smile…

Tories Launch End of Term American Style Attack Ad on Ed

The Tories will go away from the last PMQs of term happier than the reds. The Labour frontbench looked like they had all shared a delicious cup-a-sick for elevenses by the end of the bout. For good measure the Tories […]

Dave Ducks Pre-Summer Deckchair Reorganisation

Despite it being widely reported last week and over the weekend, Downing Street sources now say there will not be a reshuffle before the summer break. The idea of creating a new batch of disgruntled ex-ministers and letting them stew […]

VICTORY: Lobbyists Have Passes Removed

Victory for Guido’s campaign against passholder lobbyists as 80 people who work for APPGs have their parliamentary passes taken away from them. Last year Guido revealed Patrick Mercer, then Chairman of the All Party Parliamentary Group for Security, received almost £10,000 from […]

Dave’s Party Charm Offensive Continues

As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun column, it is not just Tory MPs who are on the receiving end of the PM’s summer charm offensive. Former Chairmen of the Conservative Party also got the Downing Street drinks party treatment. Current […]



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Quote of the Day

Tim Shipman to Adam Boulton on the TV debates…

“If Cameron gets in a car to go to the debate, Lynton Crosby will stage a car crash.”

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