LISTEN: Boris Can’t Name Tory Clacton Candidate

The Mayor of London has evidently never seen Bread. Any connoisseur of eighties sitcoms knows that the Tory candidate in Clacton is actor Giles Watling, but not Boris on LBC this morning:

BJ: “We’ve got a fantastic guy called… bloody… superb man… Stirling? Girling? Something like that. What’s he called? You tell me.”

NF: “Giles…”

BJ: “Giles… come on what is it again?”

NF: “Giles… the Bread actor? Remember Bread?”

BJ: “No. Come on stop sitting there like a great big fat Buddha and tell me the name of this guy.”

NF: “No need to get personal Mr Mayor… It’s Giles Watling.”

BJ: “Giles Watling, that’s right. I knew it. Something to do with ling. Tingaling.”


Third Post-Conference Poll Puts Tories Ahead

Dave’s post-conference bounce continues this afternoon, with a national poll from Lord Ashcroft putting the Tories two points ahead of Labour. That’s the third poll since the PM’s speech to give the Tories a lead, following YouGov in the Sun on Friday and then in the Sunday Times. Still pointing toward a Labour victory…

Meating of the Clans: Osbo and BoJo BBQ

Boris and Osborne have been having secret narrative-busting family barbecues. Apparently, we are all mi-steak-en to think the Chancellor and the Mayor are anything but best buddies without a leadership ribbing in sight. As revealed in yesterday’s Sun on Sunday, the Johnsons and the Osbornes broke bread over the summer at the Mayor’s Henley pad. Guido grilled both teams to find out what was really going on…

BBQ sauces close to the Chancellor says this is nothing new and there is “no hatchet to bury”. Meanwhile the Mayor’s people insist it is a “regular thing” and a “chance to catch up informally, away from Whitehall and their officials”, and that “they are friends”. This one has legs; delicious, flame-grilled legs.

WATCH: Newmark Story Was Not Entrapment

Fleetstreet Fox’s defence of the Sunday Mirror’s Brooks Newmark story on Question Time last night is worth watching. Critics who have not read the original story and trigger happy IPSO bosses should watch:

“I think in this particular case that it’s not entrapment because Mr Newmark, if you’ve read the original article, responded to this journalist, which he thought was a young woman online, by firstly offering his mobile phone number, secondly going into private messages, and then on seven occasions seeking explicit photographs from her, and on another three occasions asking to meet her. Now that doesn’t sound to me like someone who was reluctant or who needed persuading, it sounds to me like someone who was quite enthusiastic with the opportunity to misbehave, and he grabbed it with one hand while lowering his pyjama trousers with the other one.

“I think there are two issues that would make this in the public interest. One of those is one of the messages that Brooks Newmark sent was “you send me a picture and I will send you one, that way we both have a secret”. Now if that were you and me, it doesn’t matter. A government minister who has security clearance, that’s an invitation to blackmail, and corruption. Under the Ministerial Code of Conduct that alone would be a reason to resign… A man with power and wealth and influence repeatedly, not once or twice, sought explicit photographs from what he thought was a young woman who had no power or wealth or influence, and if she had been the young activist that he thought she was, he would have had the power to influence her career for better or for worse. To me, that smells like exploitation and it’s certainly abuse of power.”

Notable that Grant Shapps also refused to say Newmark was entrapped…

CON 35 / LAB 34: Tories Take Poll Lead for First Time Since 2012

Tax cuts are popular? Who knew!

Newmark Speaks: "I Blame No One But Myself"58% of Local Residents Say He Should Quit as an MP

“I hope people will balance the good I have done for the community over the years with a foolish thing I did one evening several months ago. Although what the Sunday Mirror did was underhand I blame no one but myself. I hope I can be forgiven for that.”

The former Civil Society Minister was responding to an online poll in his local paper that found 58% of residents thought he should resign as an MP as well as from government. It was Brooks’ old department that watered down the Recall Bill…

Shapps Confirms PM Will Campaign in Clacton

Many thought the PM would want to avoid the UKIP landslide. Apparently not…

In case you missed the Guy News special report during conference, it’s not looking good for the Tories on the Essex coast:

Guido is not sure a visit from Dave will do much to turn that around…

Tax Rabbit Saves Dave's Conference

Guido has never seen a tax cut that he does not like so Cameron’s speech today was certainly lively. The hall loved it and Dave hit their sweet spots in a way he has not since before the last election. Personal allowance up, the threshold for 40% rate up from £41,000 to £50,000. More money kept in the pockets of millions of voters, but… 

Having said that, whatever happened to that last tax rabbit that the Tories plucked from a hat when in a tight spot? Inheritance tax threshold up to a million? 2007? Ring any bells? Guido will believe it when he sees it… 

It may unravel and billions in cuts will have to be found to pay for it all, but in terms of strategy it’s exactly what the Tories needed to do. After last week’s eighty minute snoozefest from Ed Miliband, it’s tough to see how Labour can avoid responding to these pledges directly. UKIP and the LibDems will moan that their ideas have been lifted, which will further please the blues. Over to you Ed…


UKIP Banks on Mystery Donation Figure……and Don't Mention His Mrs and Mike Hancock

There is some bafflement in Tory circles this morning over from where exactly UKIP have plucked the quarter of a million pound figure for defector Arron Bank’s donations to the Conservative Party since 2005. A hungover scan of the Electoral Commission website by Guido shows only two donations of £25,000 from Banks to two Tory branches since Cameron became leader: Thornbury & Yate and Northavon, and no money to the central party. […]


Eurosceptics: We Have Been Tories Longer Than CameronMark Pritchard Denies Defection Rumour

Tory conference is getting itself into a right lather about who might be the next defector to UKIP, with an, as yet, baseless rumour that someone will jump in time for Cameron’s speech tomorrow. It would certainly be a punchy move, and Guido wonders whether the public would like such a brazenly calculated departure.[…]


Dick Pic Tory Tipped to Defect to UKIP

Rumours swirl at Tory conference that the next man to jump ship to UKIP will be Boris’ former deputy mayor Dick Barnes, best known for uploading some unfortunate photos to Facebook.



CCHQ Gestapo Interrogate UKIP Sympathising Tory Delegate

Sources close to the airport-style security area at Tory conference have an intriguing tale about the whereabouts of a man who was let into the secure zone wearing a t-shirt sporting the slogan “Nigel has a point”.[…]


Team Osborne Tell Their Backstories

It’s Team Osborne day in Birmingham today. And we’re getting a lot of back stories from the Chancellor’s loyal lieutenants. Sajid Javid told a previously unhead story about being the son of an immigrant bus drive who became a banker and then joined the cabinet.[…]


LISTEN: Mark Reckless' Voicemail to Grant Shapps

When he went on the Sunday Politics this morning, Mark Reckless probably didn’t expect he would be played a voicemail he left for Grant Shapps on Friday promising to campaign for the Tories in Birmingham. The following day he defected to UKIP.[…]


Mark Reckless Defects to UKIP

A dream for headline writers everywhere. On the eve of Tory conference Mark Reckless has defected to UKIP.

He was denying it less than 24 hours ago, but the clues were there in the Iraq vote:



Friday Caption Contest (Is This Thing On Edition)



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531

Quote of the Day

Philip Hammond at Treasury questions:

“I’m sorry to be boring.”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.


UKIP Candidate’s Gay Donkey Horse Rape Banter UKIP Candidate’s Gay Donkey Horse Rape Banter
UKIP Leadership Latest UKIP Leadership Latest
New Tory Election Poster? New Tory Election Poster?
Diane Abbott Offered Interns £2 Below Living Wage Diane Abbott Offered Interns £2 Below Living Wage
Walkers Factory Was Raided For Illegal Immigrants Walkers Factory Was Raided For Illegal Immigrants
Is This Our New Parliament? Is This Our New Parliament?
Japan’s Single Market Trade Japan’s Single Market Trade
Prezza For Jezza Prezza For Jezza
Man On Sun’s Front Page Is Not Interpreter Man On Sun’s Front Page Is Not Interpreter
Was it Davis or Davies? Was it Davis or Davies?
Multi-Millionaire’s “Hipster Begging” Multi-Millionaire’s “Hipster Begging”
Six Figures For Baroness Scotland’s Friends Six Figures For Baroness Scotland’s Friends
Sadiq Tree Policy Chop Sadiq Tree Policy Chop
Marmite Round-Up Marmite Round-Up
Watch Theresa May Burn Emily Thornberry Watch Theresa May Burn Emily Thornberry
Cameron: Brexit Means Leaving Single Market Cameron: Brexit Means Leaving Single Market
Runners & Riders Runners & Riders
Shami Stories Round-Up Shami Stories Round-Up