EU Cabinet Guide: Whitto Moves Up, Gove Torn

Observant readers will have noticed Guido recently moved John Whittingdale up into the group of four Cabinet members who look the most certain to back Leave. Today Whitto has tested Cameron’s gag on Eurosceptic ministers – asked by House magazine if he would rule out campaigning to Leave, he replied: “I wouldn’t”. 

Boris has been flirting all week, though it appears a guarantee of parliamentary sovereignty would convince him to Remain. May inched towards Remain with her caveated statement supporting Dave’s deal, though she is still not a certainty. Gove is genuinely torn between his principles and his personal loyalty to the PM – Sam Coates’ story in yesterday’s Times is on the money. Expect most of those wavering ministers in the middle of Guido’s guide to break for Remain…

Highest-Earning MP Didn’t Notice £400,000 Income

Tory MP Geoffrey Cox, the highest earning member of the Commons who rakes in hundreds of thousands of pounds a year as a QC, has been rebuked by the Standards Commissioner for failing to declare £400,000 of income.

Wait for it, his defence is just outstanding:

In his evidence to the Commissioner, Mr Cox explained how the late registration came about. He had previously relied on the head clerk of his Chambers to draw the receipt of payments to his attention, thereby prompting the registration of such payments. The illness and subsequent retirement of the head clerk had led to the breakdown of this system. 

So Cox didn’t notice the £400,000 enter his account because his clerk was ill and didn’t tell him. Great excuses of our time…

Tory MPs Joke: “Arise, Sir Mark”

ARISE

Westminster is awash with speculation as to what caused the once hardline Eurosceptic Mark Pritchard to sell out and back Remain. Pritchard used to describe himself as a “mainstream Eurosceptic”, was a prominent member of the “81 group” of Tory EU rebels and even considered defecting to UKIP. Yet this week he turned turncoat and told the Sunday Times he is a “reluctant inner“.  Tory MPs are mockingly referring to Pritchard as “Sir Mark”. Others unkindly suggest the international man of mystery has been promised a junior ministerial gig, though Pritch says he made his mind up a year ago. To say his colleagues are unimpressed with his defection to the Remain campaign would be an understatement…

Boris’ New Baldness-Battling Barnet

Guido has previously noted that balding Boris is losing his locks, so it is no surprise to see his hair cropped shorter and brushed forward to disguise that thinning top:

It is more flattering from above:

The age old rule in British politics is that bald men in the television age do not beat rivals with a full head of hair. Think Tony Blair versus William Hague, IDS and Michael Howard, nor can we forget Maggie versus Kinnock. In every election the slap-head loses. Could Boris’ new baldness-battling barnet be a sign that his leadership campaign is shifting up a gear?

UPDATE: A friend of Boris gets in touch:

“Don’t get too excited. Cropping shorter isn’t new Mayoral policy, it’s something he revisits every few months with the help of his Turkish barber!”

Boris and Farage Pan Dave’s Red Card

Boris ain’t convinced: “the PM is making best of a bad job, there’s still a lot more to do, a lot more to do on this”. Asked if there is any positive from Dave’s deal: “Ermmm…”

Farage meanwhile tells the European Parliament:

“the Prime Minister is saying we’ve got a red card, isn’t that wonderful? Well what that means is if a majority of parliaments in the European Union can say to Mr Juncker they don’t want one of his directives, is that a cause for celebration? I mean if 15 parliaments couldn’t stop a piece of law we would be living in a communist dictatorship”

Juncker this morning made clear that the emergency brake on immigration actually coming into effect was a pipe dream. Dave is going to get roasted by his backbenchers in the post-PMQs EU debate…

Fabbers’ Vomit-Inducing Europhiles Revealed

Michael Fabricant was reaching for the sick bucket during today’s EU debate:

Who were the two vomit-inducing Europhiles in question? 

Guido has established that the gruesome twosome are Nick Herbert and Damian Green…

Union Baron: “All the Tories are an Absolute Disgrace, They Should Be Taken Out and Shot”

Previously Guido brought you the boozed up RMT baron threatening a kindly ticket inspector. Today he brings you RMT boss Steve Hedley telling LBC the Tories should be taken out and shot. Was this reverse Clarkson conducted after a long lunch?

Boris: Dave’s Deal Not Good Enough

Boris gives the red card to Cameron’s red card on LBC:

“I think what would be better would be if we had a brake of our own, that we were willing to use. And that we were more willing to say, look, Britain is an independent sovereign country and we don’t agree with this particular piece of legislation or regulation and we want to stop it, and that’s what we should be able to do… What everybody would want is to see more progress and lets see where we get… I think there is much, much more however that needs to be done.”

He’s asking for the impossible with a demand for a British veto for EU regulations. He may yet sell out and still back the deal however…

Tatler Considering New Mark Clarke Profile

Rumour has it Tatler are looking at profiling scandal-hit Tory Mark Clarke for a second time. The society magazine infamously glammed up ten rising stars of the right back in 2008, transforming Clarke et al into “top Tory totty”. […]

+ READ MORE +

“Er, Um, Crikey!” Fabbers Has Hancock Spluttering

Matt Hancock looked a little lost for words in response to Michael Fabricant’s praise for Waitrose chief Mark Price in the Commons:

Michael Fabricant : I did not have to use the Freedom of Information Act because I went on

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Amjad Bashir: No Respect For the Truth

Remember Amjad Bashir? He was the UKIP Walter Mitty whose disastrous defection to the Tories made headlines this time last year. One of the many revelations that led to the turncoat’s story unravelling was his relationship with George Galloway’s […]

+ READ MORE +

Updated Guide to Cabinet EU Rebels

Today’s Sun says Eurosceptic Gove will campaign to Remain out of personal loyalty to Cameron and Osborne, and reports flip-flopping Boris will not back Brexit. Two weeks ago the Express claimed Boris had told friends “I am not an Outer”.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN
PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER
LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL
VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH
SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE
SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING
UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU
HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME
BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET
GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM
BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD
WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’ WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’
SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW
DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM
FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED
UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT” UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT”
STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’ STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’
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BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH
9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS 9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS
CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA
Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie” Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie”
CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT
HOW FRIENDS OF THE EARTH DODGE CHARITY REGULATIONS HOW FRIENDS OF THE EARTH DODGE CHARITY REGULATIONS
CORBYN AIDE: I THINK WE SHOULD SHOOT WOODCOCK CORBYN AIDE: I THINK WE SHOULD SHOOT WOODCOCK
TEQUILA SCAMMERS: LANSMAN’S LATE NIGHT SECRET ELECTION TEQUILA SCAMMERS: LANSMAN’S LATE NIGHT SECRET ELECTION
Comments & Readership Comments & Readership
MCDONNELL’S PARTIALLY PUBLISHED TAX RETURN MCDONNELL’S PARTIALLY PUBLISHED TAX RETURN
COCKNEY DONALD TRUMP COCKNEY DONALD TRUMP