Friday, December 19, 2014

Twitter Bitch Fight of the Week: Oborne v Maguire

Today’s Mirror splashes on “heartless” George Osborne giving his SpAd Rupert Harrison, apparently “one of the chief architects” of the “cruel austerity drive”, a 19% pay rise.

The story very much upset Man of the People Mirror Associate Editor Kevin Maguire, who Peter Oborne has the temerity to speculate is on rather more than Rupert:

Kerching!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Ebenezer Grayling Threatens to Cancel Christmas

Every year in Epsom, Chris Grayling, the local mayor and assorted council dignitaries put aside their political differences to sing carols and raise money for charity. This year, the organisers booked a local church organist and qualified musician named Robert Leach to play the piano. Robert routinely plays at churches, schools, hospitals and old folks homes, but Ebenezer Grayling can’t get over the fact he is also the UKIP candidate in the seat for next year. The Tory MP has emailed the organisers threatening to pull out:

From: GRAYLING, Chris 
Sent: 16 December 2014 22:53
To: 
Cc:
Subject: Saturday

Dear xxx

I note that you have departed from the norm and invited the UKIP parliamentary candidate to take part in the carol singing this weekend. In the past this has been an event purely for the Mayor and the Member of Parliament. I wonder what has prompted this change and if indeed you have extended the invitation to take part to one candidate, I would like to be reassured that you have done so for all parliamentary candidates. If you have not done so, then I will have to consider whether it is appropriate for me to take part – given how close we are to the election.

Yours

Chris

Not exactly embracing the festive spirit in this season of goodwill, especially since Grayling happily sang along while Kipper Robert played the keyboard a few years back. This year’s carol singing is on Saturday, so hopefully Grayling will don his Santa hat and stop being such a Scrooge. Bah, humbug!

Pic via Legal Cheek.

Reckless Crowdfunds Defence Against Tory Legal Action

“It is almost Christmas: a time for caring, reflection, and forgiveness,” Mark Reckless tells UKIP supporters in a mass email this afternoon, before asking for festive donations to fund his defence against the Tories’ “sour grapes” legal action against him:

“The fact that the Tories are bickering over £3,000 when we all know they may have a £78m election war chest put together by their secretive clubs, and dodgy donors shows that this is just another cynical attack on democracy, on UKIP, and on the British people. It’s time for us to stand up and fight back, don’t you think?”

Judging by UKIP’s recent online fundraising success, E-kippers will cover his costs in no time…

UPDATE: A local Tory association source points out: “Given Mark is a trained barrister and this is a small claims case, we rather assumed that, like us, he would be representing himself. We’re surprised he’s lawyering up.”

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Tories to Sue Mark Reckless

The Tories aren’t letting this one go:

“The Rochester and Strood Constituency Conservative Association have lodged a claim against its former MP Mark Reckless to claw back thousands of pounds it spent on 2015 General Election campaigning literature before he defected to Ukip. Members of the association say Mr Reckless and his agent, Cllr Chris Irvine, who are both now Ukip members, were approving expenditure for campaign literature for next year’s general election, up to two days before Mr Reckless defected to Ukip Saturday, September 27. They say they had no alternative but to throw away the campaign leaflets.”

“Lawyer up, baldy.”

UPDATE:

LibDems Spent £1.5 Million on Winning One Euro Seat

The Electoral Commission today reveals how much each party spent on their European election campaigns. The big bucks splashed by the Tories and UKIP meant they paid six figures for each seat won. Labour got best value for money, spending just over a million quid for their 20 seats, or just over £50,000 per MEP.

The LibDems blew £1.5 million with just one MEP to show for it…

Monday, December 15, 2014

Happy Christmas, Public Sector

At last some government good news:

“Hospitals and fire services will be run “outside the public sector” as the Conservatives dramatically shrink the state and cut costs, a senior minister has disclosed. Francis Maude, the Cabinet Office minister, told The Telegraph that services could be handed over to mutual companies owned by employers and other non-state bodies. Mr Maude, who is drawing up plans for £20 billion of Whitehall savings by 2020, said that with the exception of defence and policing, every function of the state could potentially be done outside the public sector.”

Excellent. 

Going, Going… Wrong

“Good evening everybody and welcome to Sotheby’s,” said Tory co-chairman Lord Feldman at a fundraising auction last week… At Christie’s.

The real joke was the fact a signed copy of Cameron’s flop of an immigration speech went for £45,000.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Boris Says Balls Looks Like He Has a Finger Up His Bum

balls

Nifty work by The Tab, who have recorded Bojo charming a Tory party fundraiser by telling them Ed Balls has:

“the air of a pop-eyed man who looks like he’s undergoing an unexpected prostate examination.”

A line he has shamelessly nicked from Anna Soubry…

Boris’ Godless Christmas Card

Friday Caption Contest (Dirty Donations Edition)


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