“was overheard telling senior party officials in his constituency recently that he expects “to be back in government” after Gordon takes over… Gordon wouldn’t reward the treachery that he has publicly disavowed advance knowledge of and claimed he would have advised against. Would he?“

For the record: I do not want to go back into government whoever leads the Labour Party. I’m very happy being a constituency MP.
10:28 AM, October 26, 2006

I’m an overweight opinionated member of parliament, I embarrass my relatives all the time. That was the only accurate bit of your post. But you know this.

The bit about returning to government is the inaccurate part of your post. But then I suspect you know this too. You are asking people to comment on a story that isn’t true. It doesn’t do you or political bloggers any service. Then again, why am I bothering to say this to you? You know all this as well.
11:15 AM, October 26, 2006

With a reputation for accurate and balanced reporting to protect, Guido was troubled by this, perhaps Tom Watson was not a treacherous, lying plotter who met and connived with Brown on the eve of his coup attempt against Blair. Maybe he was not going to return to government under Brown. Guido offered to retract the allegation if he promised not to return to government.

Tom Watson rejoined the government as a whip today. But we never really believed him did we? Nor did we really believe that he only chatted to Gordon about the kids. As politicians go, Tom Watson is one of the most mendacious shits in parliament. The thing is, he is proud of it.

Fooled some readers and bloggers yesterday. Guido will spare the blushes of the leading blogger who explained in detail why Guido’s traffic would and should be down. Despite the move and the resultant broken links, traffic is again up some 10% last month, unique visitors: 326,897, pageviews: 478,717. Iain Dale remain’s the main referrer – as if Tom Watson would ever be popular.

In the coming months Guido expects big developments in Loans for Lordships, including a new witness coming forward. Gordon Brown’s very own Smith Institute will be in Guido’s line of fire – expect a direct hit.

This is the blog you love, and they hate.

Two surprises in fact – last month saw an unprecedented dip in traffic to this blog. Excluding the summer and Christmas holidays (when Guido stops posting) this blog has had a year-on-year, month-on-month trend of rising audience numbers. Today sees the end of that trend. Traffic dipped some 20% down to a mere 368,401 page-views, below even January’s 404,427 page-views. Guido presumes that last month’s website re-design and re-location of the hosting from 5thNovember.blogspot.com to www.Order-Order.com was a factor.

The second surprise was that Tom Watson MP has replaced Iain Dale as the top referring website, an indication that perhaps his traffic is either eclipsing Iain’s or that he writes about Guido more. Hard to say.

Will Hutton, failed ex-stockbroker, failed ex-editor, has been wheeled out to provide covering fire for the Smith Institute in the Guardian. According to Hutton, saying there is in fact something very sleazy about the cozy Gordon/Treasury/Sith nexus, is some kind of attack on democracy. (Incidentally, Will, we have previous).What is democratic about holding private meetings behind closed doors? What is democratic about the Treasury quietly paying £11,000 to the Smith Institute for arranging 2 meetings on it’s behalf, but not charging the self-same Smith Institute a single penny for holding 165 meetings on it’s premises? Isn’t that anti-democratic? Isn’t that something we should openly shine a light on? Gordon’s Treasury tax-kickback-subsidised charity paying Bob Shrum to devise an anti-Cameron strategy, is that something we should keep secret?

What is democratic about using Tom Watson MP to spread the most vile false smear campaign against Guido the week after he made an official complaint against the Smith Institute? Even by the shrill standards of the blogosphere it was a step too far that forced Guido to threaten immediate High Court action against Gordon’s failed putsch leader. When they are cornered they fight hard and dirty.

Now a statutory authority has issued a direction threatening Guido with contempt of court, imprisonment and fines unless Guido hands over documents obtained from whistleblowers. Guido will provide evidence of the Sith’s wrongdoing, but he intends to protect his sources as well. Now I’m off for a drink…

Guido ran a story yesterday (sourced from a person near to Tom Watson) which listed some of the people he has, by his own admission, embarrassed. It finished up with a claim that he was telling people he would be “back in government” when Gordon got in next summer. The source of that was the third party rather than Guido’s imagination as Tom seems to imply. Guido invited him to refute the story and he has stated unambiguously in writing that “I promise never to return to government.”

Tom also has a go at my friend Iain Dale for making an innocent mistake about Chris Bryant. A mistake that provided Guido with amusement on so many levels. Iain quoted the Sun’s Katherine Bergen who quoted Ros Taylor’s parody of Chris Bryant, not realising that it was satire.

An easy mistake to make because Chris Bryant is beyond satire. Bryant threatened to sue Iain and demanded that his legal bills were paid for sending him a characteristically pompous threatening letter. Iain told him not to be silly and get lost – it was an innocent mistake. Bryant is now sulking.

Tom Watson’s constituency office is also the home of West Midlands Amicus Union (ex-employers of Watson). Relations have been somewhat strained between regional staff and Watson’s constituency office since his resignation.

He’s been none too popular, and this has affected even the family relations and been embarrassing for them. Watson’s sister-in-law Joanna Watson works in the same building (just next door to his office) for West Midlands Labour MEP ultra loyalist and NEC member Michael Cashman, and Watson’s younger brother Dan works part time for neighbouring MP and Social Exclusion Minister Pat Mcfadden, another ultra-loyalist and ex-Number 10 spin doctor. Watson has angered a good many people in his region, and it hasn’t further helped good relations that he was overheard telling senior party officials in his constituency recently that he expects “to be back in government” after Gordon takes over in the summer. Which is a shame because his blog has improved greatly since he has had more time on his hands.

Gordon wouldn’t reward the treachery that he has publicly disavowed advance knowledge of and claimed he would have advised against. Would he?

I did post the video to you tube and I take responsibility for that. The aim was satire. Colleagues and newspapers thought it was rude. On reflection, they were right.

So, if anyone is upset – including David Cameron – I unreservedly apologise.

Like Guido said earlier, Tom Watson is a real blogger, he has used video blogging at least as effectively as WebCameron (and a lot more cheaply). Tom has done the right thing, Sion is just a twat.

UPDATE : Sion has taken the video down off YouTube. The Simon/Watson duo are the Scud missiles of politics. They target Blair with their resignations and end up damaging Brown. So now with time on their hands they launch a new media video attack on Cameron and end up apologising to Dave and driving traffic to WebCameron up tenfold. Doh!

UPDATE II : Sorry Sion, nothing is deleted from the web. It is back up here on YouTube in full twat-o-vision courtesy once again of Biased BBC.

Tom Watson and Sion Simon were two of the geniuses behind the failed coup attempt against Blair before Labour party conference. Which resulted in Tom Watson wandering forlornly outside the GMEX centre pretending to talk into his mobile phone. It appears that Tom Watson filmed the Sion Show and uploaded it for him. Tom Watson’s blog seems to be down, but Guido is sure he read a defence of Sion on it before it crashed.

Labour MP Stephen Pound told the BBC that Sion’s video was “a new low in British politics”. Jack Straw, the Leader of the Commons, bitch-slapped Sion thus: “We have to ensure that political discourse is at a reasonable high level that avoids personal attacks.”

The line that gives most offense is “Want to sleep with my wife? That’s cool. Come down, check it out, we’ll sort it out. Safe. I’ve got two kids, kid one, kid two. You like them? Take one; that’s cool.”

If you want to see the Sky News interview meltdown of Sion it is up over on GuyNews.TV (courtesy of Biased BBC).

UPDATE : To be fair, Tom Watson has done a video blog attacking Cameron which advocates campaign finance reform. It has humour, a real message and some star quality. See it here. Obviously he has much more time on his hands nowadays…

Blame the baby is a tactic Guido uses himself. Mislaid the keys? Tell the wife “the baby has hidden the keys again”. Hungover from hell and your morning meeting enquires as to why you are unshaven and cross-eyed, “baby is teething…”

A hungover Charles Kennedy used it when he couldn’t figure out the details of his own manifesto policy on local government finance at a press conference.

Had a covert meeting at home with Tom Watson, public instigator of the plot to destabilise your rival, the day before the plot was launched? Tell them “he came to see baby Fraser”.

Caught by a photographer laughing your tits off in the back of a car leaving Downing Street when the plot was executed? “I was laughing and joking about the baby.”

While the cat was away in Oz the mice did play last night at a meeting of the PLP. Jon Trickett, the MP for Hemsworth, urged that the NEC and the elected Parliamentary Committee to reflect on “the timing and process for the election of a new leader”. “The party has to come first” the meeting was told as Gordon Brown listened.

It has been widely reported that the Campaign Group is contemplating putting up a candidate. John Austin is also willing to stand as a stalking horse candidate, as is Glenda Jackson. But will they find 70 more MPs to back them? It all has to be done in time for party conference.So who are the likely signatories to any nomination papers? 52 dissidents rebelled on the education vote and 25 did not vote – those 77 can be assumed to be likely to want rid of Blair, add in the Brown backers on the government payroll and you have more than enough. The payroll Brownites are: Des Browne, Alistair Darling, Yvette Cooper, Nigel Griffiths, Harriet Harman, John Healey, Dawn Primarolo, Stephen Timms, Tom Watson. On the backbenches: Ian Austin, Ed Balls, Nick Brown, Tom Clarke, Frank Dobson, Doug Henderson, John McFall, Ed Milliband, Geoffrey Robinson, Clare Short, Andrew Smith, Michael Wills. But do they have the guts?

With nearly a hundred MPs for a stalking horse to appeal to, Guido has a fair few quid on Betfair’s Blair Switch bet backing the change happening July/September. In this scenario the Brownites get a smooth transition by convincing Blair they have the required numbers. At the last moment before this year’s party conference (to prevent any other candidates coming forward) Brown’s name is put forward with Blair as his first nominator. Brown becomes leader of the Labour party at the conference, Blair remains as PM to serve out his term as promised, vanity satisfied by out-distancing Thatcher. Brown gets on with the Labour party campaign against Cameron, Blair leads the country in a presidential style. This is the “Aznar solution”.