No not the BBC c-word, the Labour one – Champagne. Tempers were frayed all day yesterday, with touchiness from both sides of the House. Eric Pickles had a fairly light jibe at Labour MP Joan Ruddock, suggesting she might not be feeling the cuts because “I know she lives a champagne lifestyle — but £60 million is a lot of money.”

He seems to have hit a nerve, and received a pretty unnecessary reaction:

“I think you will know that I have been in this House long enough to take the rough and tumble of Parliamentary debate but the Secretary of State today, in response to an intervention I made, made a remark about ‘the hon. Lady’s Champagne lifestyle’  - It appeared to be directed at me. I find that really offensive and rude.”

Guido thought it was just the Tories that banned champagne, but it’s clearly a touchy subject in the new new Labour Party.

Bercow’s interjection riled the Tory benches as he helpfully pointed out that “I travelled to a number of places around the world with you and colleagues and I cannot recall you consuming champagne at any stage.” No wonder tempers boiled over in a showdown between the Tory Chief Whip and Bercow later on. Guido will let you be the judge, but there are signs that the Tory high command are not happy… either.

While 10,000 kids smash up Whitehall outside, Cameron was entertaining the Lobby lunch, the first PM to do so in 31 years. It must have been a good speech for devout Dave-hater Kevin Maguire to announce that “Cameron witty, smooth, confident, clear and direct in answering questions at today’s press gallery lunch. Impressive”.

Guido could hear the laughter from the cellar. Rory Bremner, warming up, declared “Cameron and Clegg have no mandate (for tuition fees) the only one with a man date is Hague”. However it was Dave’s crack about Simon Burns really tickled him. Apparently once when Bercow told Burn “I’m not happy” the Tory Health Minister quipped “Well, which one are you then?”

UPDATE: Paul Waugh has more of the jokes, but comedy aside DC gave the clearest hint yet he wants David Laws back in the Cabinet “soon”. You can bet on just how soon over at Smarkets where prices on Laws to return have jumped…

Phil Woolas is wandering around Parliament today and the Speaker who could have had ended his career with a click of his fingers has just delayed a by-election in order to allow the disgraced Labour MP to attempt to seek a Judicial Review. It could then go to the Court of Appeal, Supreme Court, and beyond… Ol’ lyin’ Phil isn’t going down without at fight.

Labour are already 60% favourites to win and the delay can only negate the Woolas controversy. Funny that the Labour supporting Mrs Speaker was urging her husband not to be too tough on Woolas this on breakfast TV this morning…

Verbal diarrhea sufferer and wife of the Speaker Sally Bercow has found her big mouth getting her into trouble on many occasions, but this time it’s getting serious. She has had to bring the lawyers in after Sir Andrew Green has made moves to start legal action against after Sally dismissed a MigrationWatch report that proves a link between a rise in youth unemployment and immigration was “dangerous propaganda” and compared it to arguments used by Hitler and Mosley. Live on Sky News. Ooops.

Bercow has called upon online friend David Allen Green of Preiskel & Co LLP and is currently lamenting the “fail” on Twitter. Guido wonders if she will still be so flippant after a day in court…

UPDATE : After looking at this more closely (and receiving a briefing from Guido’s friends at Index on Censorship) it is now clear to Guido that Sally didn’t compare Sir Andrew Green to Hitler or Mosley. In which case Sir Andrew will be very unlikely to succeed with his action. Nor should he succeed.

While she may be getting regular slots on Sky News and the Today program, “freelance journalist and Labour Party activist” Sally Bercow must know she has really made it when Chinese news channels are animating her colourful past…

Can anyone translate?

As thoughts turn towards lunch, spare a moment for the poor souls in the Palace of Westminster. There were grumbles this morning that coffee had gone up from the usual sixty pence to a whole pound. Not quite the “high street” prices promised by Speaker Bercow.

You would be hard pushed to get change out of a fiver for a coffee in Costa, Starbucks or Cafe Nero,  but panic not, it will still buy you a steak in Parliament…

Speaker Bercow had his spinners in overdrive when he announced that Bellamy’s bar on the Parliamentary Estate would be turned in to a crèche for MPs and staffers’ kids. This is despite the fact the bar was gutted in 2007 and spruced up at the cost of nearly half-a-million to the taxpayer. The new project is now set to cost another £400k.

The bar has been shut and preliminary work has begun. There is just one problem. Last night Westminster City Council decided that perhaps trying to get prams and buggies up the stairs of One Parliament Street wasn’t the greatest idea and that there are more appropriate locations on the estate. The planning committee have deferred the application, delaying the project even further, at even more expense. Surveyors will be going in to see what’s going on, though Guido’s rubber-stamping co-conspirator thinks the Speaker may end up with egg on his face with this one.

Tim Hames, the Speaker’s unprecedented spinner, announced he was off last week. Which is unfortunate for the Squeaker as he looks like he could need someone to help with handling the press come Thursday night…

Question Time’s producers, ever in search of controversy, like to rile people with their choice of guest. This week they have a member of Ed Ball’s campaign team who failed to become a councillor invited on the show. She calls herself a “writer and broadcaster” these days, but Guido has only ever seen a blog post (about Balls) and an interview on This Week, not sure being on Twitter constitutes being a professional writer. It seems even Labour aren’t stupid enough to let the proven liability become an official spokesman. Burnham is on the same night…

Has she really done anything in her own right rather than as the Speaker’s wife?  Perhaps some other failed council candidates, with Twitter accounts, backing someone in the Labour leadership, should ask to be on Question Time. That seems to be the criteria…

Regular readers will remember much fanfare from Bercow when he announced that, in these austere times, the cost of subsidised food and drink on the Parliamentary Estate would be rising, bringing it into line with “high-street” rivals. So the cheaper end of the real world.

Half a million quid will be removed from the subsidy, but what does that actually mean in practice? Guido’s man behind the bar whispered that for all the press releases and back slapping, the plan is to only put prices up by a meagre 5%. The Commons bars and terraces will still be the cheapest place to drink in town even after this small rise. The Guinness is half price by Central London standards, cheers.

Simon Burns, Health Minister called the Speaker a…

“stupid, sanctimonious dwarf”.