Hancock Handles Brown Envelope

Sleazy sex-texter and employer of Russian spies Mike Hancock has been keeping his head down since the near weekly scandals that hit him last year. So hence Guido’s surprise when he read the other day that “Handy-cock” had been EyeSpyed handling brown envelopes. A picture of the incident landed in his inbox this morning. Can anyone out there explain what the dodgy member for Portsmouth was doing on Wednesday afternoon in Victoria Gardens and who the envelope was for?

CCHQ on “Bimbo Eruption” Alert

Guido hears that CCHQ are bracing themselves for more revelations about the amorous Lord Strathclyde in this weekend’s newspapers. As Leader of the Tories in the Lords, Tommy is responsible for fixing the AV mess that could well see the referendum delayed, if he were to be forced out this weekend it could be very messy. The punters over at Smarkets have Strathride at 2/1 favourite to be the next cabinet minister to walk…

Shagger Strathclyde Seven-Year Affair With Old Flame

Sunday Sleaze

Lord Strathclyde is a legend at Tory party conferences, the Leader of the House of Lords throws a decent party and is famous for trying it on with the ladies. With more success than you might imagine…

Birgit Cunningham is older than some of Shagger Strathclyde’s previous conquests. The 48 year-old unmarried single-mother has sold a kiss ‘n tell to the Sunday Mirror revealing that she has been having a seven-year on-off affair with Shagger Strathclyde. This morning punters make him favourite to be the next exit from the cabinet

UPDATE : Just spotted this Daily Mail profile of Birgit from March 2007 in which she reveals she dated Kevin Costner and William Shatner as well as saying “there are two options for public school girls who get pregnant by accident. The first is running home to Mummy and Daddy. I wasn’t going to do that. I couldn’t possibly live at home. The alternative is to find some rich old guy to rescue you. ‘I have to admit I’ve met several. One proposed to me. I thought, do I have to do this for Jack? But I couldn’t. I want a toy boy.” She got a big toy-boy…

UPDATE II : Mail reveals Birgit was the eco-protestor who smeared chocolate eclair in Nick Brown’s face. At the time she was a press officer for the Green Party

Disgraced Handy-cock Triggers Council Chaos

Guido told you yesterday that Portsmouth LibDems were making noises about their disgraced MP and councillor Mike Hancock, but it seems the local Tories are even more outraged by, not only the sex scandals, but also the potential breach of national security over his employee and suspected spy, Katerina Zatuliveter. LibDem Council Leader Gerald Vernon Jackson, who Guido had the pleasure of speaking with yesterday, refused to answer an emergency question concerning the Royal Naval base and information Mike Hancock had about  it in his capacity as a councillor responsible for local planning. Such information that could have been passed to the Russians…

The Tories down there are raging that Vernon Jackson was unable to give a clear assurance that he had never given Hancock, or sent his office, sensitive information. They staged a complete walk out of the full council meeting. Guido has to agree with the head of the Tory grouping Steve Wemyss, who put it bluntly – “Is there something the Leader is trying to hide?”

They’re All At It Together

While the the likes of Mike Hancock are flying the flag for Members’ late night shenanigans, Guido had to laugh when he heard that a particularly nasty bout of the clap is doing the rounds of parliamentary researchers and bag-carriers.

In these times of coalition there has apparently been a lot more, er, cross-party integration amongst the new boys and girls compared to the very tribal liaisons in the last Parliament. There have been some extremely awkward phone-calls between offices, and there is one corridor suffering particularly badly. With Christmas party season in full swing, wrap up kids, you have been warned…

Hancock Hanging On – But For How Long?

Guido understands that the plates are starting to move within the Portsmouth LibDems concerning the disgraced Mike Hancock, who is not only their MP but also a senior councillor. The LibDem Council Leader Gerald Vernon Jackson was said to have been rallying support for the battered MP at his Christmas Party on Saturday night. However just hours later the Sunday paper bombardment hit the news stands, rendering the efforts in vain.

Guido has heard of more than a little disquiet from various Liberal Democrats today who are extremely unhappy with the situation. Vernon Jackson isn’t helping matters by refusing to take emergency questions, or even discuss Mr Hancock’s predicaments at tomorrow’s council meeting.

So not only do Clegg, the LibDem whips and Cowley Street have their head in the sand over the liability on their benches, it seems the LibDems are willing to turn a blind eye at every level. Hancock is a wrong ‘un and the longer he is allowed to remain a LibDem MP, the more he will bring his already beleaguered party into disrepute.

Hancock’s Sex Scandals Coming Out in the Open

There must come a point when even the LibDems, as tolerant of sexual straying as they are, must accept that Mike Hancock is a liability. The papers have even more on him this weekend. What the papers don’t mention is that allegations of serious sex crimes were made before the general election, “Handycock” sued the accuser and then dropped the case afterwards – with substantial costs awarded against him. A tactic designed to suppress the story before election day. Hancock has recently been arrested and bailed.

Constituency sources say Hancock has nine-lives politically, surely they must be used up by now? Guido has been saying for months he is a wrong ‘un. It is time his colleagues took a serious look at him – do they want to be associated with him?

Saturday Seven Up

7upThis week the most popular stories were about Jeremy Hunt, Denis MacShane and Mike Hancock – the c***t theme being common to them all.

Guido’s favourite story of the week (which got no follow up in the Dead Tree Press) was an extract from Steve Hilton’s policy grid. There is more fun to come from that.

This week the blog had 415,100 page views from 253,109 visits by 88,009 visitors, which means this blog now has more daily readers than The Times online. The top 7 stories last week in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or you are behind…

Hancock Withdraws from Russian Support

As Guido highlighted the other day, Mike Hancock was one of only two signatories to an Early Day Motion congratulating his beloved Russia for winning the World Cup bid, in what the rest of the world saw as a  total […]

+ READ MORE +

+ + + No Hoon-Time for Five Years + + +

Hoon has been banned from holding a parliamentary pass for five years, Byers for two and Richard Caborn for six months. All three former Labour will have to apologise to the House in writing. If you want an end to […]

+ READ MORE +

The Man Who Came in on a Dinghy

The nations media have descended on Portsmouth having finally realised Guido was right all along when he said Mike Hancock was a wrong ‘un. Guido is hearing tales of door-stepping and sniffing. With Hancock also a local councillor there is […]

+ READ MORE +

To Russia With Love

Early Day Motion 1137 wasn’t very popular yesterday:

That this House believes that it would be a good idea if all those individuals and organisations involved in the failed World Cup bid showed a little humility and good grace instead

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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