A Wee Bit Off

Denis Macshane and Douglas Alexander are attempting to politicise the Libya situation. Macshane, who despite losing the whip, still falls into line to spin for Labour just told Jeremy Vine that he thinks the government had their eye off the ball. Alexander says they haven’t reacted to the situation quickly enough, which is odd given that he didn’t suggest the UK should be doing more when he appeared on Newsnight just two nights ago. A swift and convenient change of heart.

And do these two really want to open up that particular can of worms? When it comes to throwing blame around for this mess, Labour have a bit of a moral deficit on this one. Lest we forget it was Wee Dougie’s government that did “all it could” to get Megrahi released. It was Wee Dougie’s preferred choice of leader that was “working discreetly” to see the Lockerbie bomber returned to Gadaffi’s warm embrace. It seems Wee Dougie has forgotten also that it was Labour Minister Bill Rammell who was giving Libya legal advice too. And it didn’t just stop with Megrahi – throughout 2008 Lord Jones,­ Bill Rammell and Dawn Primarolo all popped into Tripoli for a cup of tea and a chat about trade. Perhaps Wee Dougie should have a quick quip at them for not acting swiftly enough.

It seems Labour very much had their eye on the ball, of sorts.

Judge a Man by His Friends

Blinky BallsA pattern is emerging, every time a Labour Party figure ends up in disgrace, Balls is never far away. Yesterday he was launching Labour’s coronation in Barnsley Central, as its previous Member of Parliament was preparing for a year in prison.

‘Eric was a good friend of mine, one of the first MPs I met when I first came into the House of Commons. I think he fought hard for this constituency and did a good job and I think people respect that. But he also made a mistake, a big mistake and he’s paying a big price for that, and I think that’s right’

A bit like another good friend Balls thought it appropriate to salute in November when he “led a round of applause for Phil Woolas & his dedicated service to his constituents and the Labour party”. His dedicated service to the truth too.

And what was it Balls said about Damian McBride back in the day? He was another good friend who made a mistake:

“Asked whether he had been in contact with Labour’s most notorious pariah, Balls confirmed that he had, but suggested it was purely social: “I certainly wished him a happy birthday. As I said [when he resigned], Damian did a very stupid thing, he’s paid a very heavy price, but we all get on with our jobs”

Ed Balls is the man who wants us to trust him with the nation’s finances, they say you should judge a man by his friends, his seem to be liars and crooks who cheat the taxpayers. Perhaps they will all end up on the same the pub quiz team

Friendly Printers

Tom Watson has been in Court today as a witness in Jim Devine’s fraud trial,  The Telegraph reports that Devine alleges that Watson and Labour whip Steven McCabe told him when “merry” in the Strangers Bar that he could take money from his office allowance to resolve his staffing problems. All he would need is a “friendly printers” to knock up the receipts. Not an excuse in law and both men deny the conversation ever happened, but it was the mention of “friendly printers” that got Guido thinking. What is a “friendly printer”?

Surely an organisation that was run by former Labour staffers and with a willingness to send differently worded invoices for the same product must be a “friendly printer”. Public Impact Printers are a “friendly printer” who were so helpful to the current Shadow Justice Secretary. Chris Huhne knows a thing or two about “friendly printers” too. Especially that one based in the same building as his constituency office.

Hancock Handles Brown Envelope

Sleazy sex-texter and employer of Russian spies Mike Hancock has been keeping his head down since the near weekly scandals that hit him last year. So hence Guido’s surprise when he read the other day that “Handy-cock” had been EyeSpyed handling brown envelopes. A picture of the incident landed in his inbox this morning. Can anyone out there explain what the dodgy member for Portsmouth was doing on Wednesday afternoon in Victoria Gardens and who the envelope was for?

CCHQ on "Bimbo Eruption" Alert

Guido hears that CCHQ are bracing themselves for more revelations about the amorous Lord Strathclyde in this weekend’s newspapers. As Leader of the Tories in the Lords, Tommy is responsible for fixing the AV mess that could well see the referendum delayed, if he were to be forced out this weekend it could be very messy. The punters over at Smarkets have Strathride at 2/1 favourite to be the next cabinet minister to walk…

Shagger Strathclyde Seven-Year Affair With Old Flame

Sunday Sleaze

Lord Strathclyde is a legend at Tory party conferences, the Leader of the House of Lords throws a decent party and is famous for trying it on with the ladies. With more success than you might imagine…

Birgit Cunningham is older than some of Shagger Strathclyde’s previous conquests. The 48 year-old unmarried single-mother has sold a kiss ‘n tell to the Sunday Mirror revealing that she has been having a seven-year on-off affair with Shagger Strathclyde. This morning punters make him favourite to be the next exit from the cabinet

UPDATE : Just spotted this Daily Mail profile of Birgit from March 2007 in which she reveals she dated Kevin Costner and William Shatner as well as saying “there are two options for public school girls who get pregnant by accident. The first is running home to Mummy and Daddy. I wasn’t going to do that. I couldn’t possibly live at home. The alternative is to find some rich old guy to rescue you. ‘I have to admit I’ve met several. One proposed to me. I thought, do I have to do this for Jack? But I couldn’t. I want a toy boy.” She got a big toy-boy…

UPDATE II : Mail reveals Birgit was the eco-protestor who smeared chocolate eclair in Nick Brown’s face. At the time she was a press officer for the Green Party

Disgraced Handy-cock Triggers Council Chaos

Guido told you yesterday that Portsmouth LibDems were making noises about their disgraced MP and councillor Mike Hancock, but it seems the local Tories are even more outraged by, not only the sex scandals, but also the potential breach of national security over his employee and suspected spy, Katerina Zatuliveter. LibDem Council Leader Gerald Vernon Jackson, who Guido had the pleasure of speaking with yesterday, refused to answer an emergency question concerning the Royal Naval base and information Mike Hancock had about  it in his capacity as a councillor responsible for local planning. Such information that could have been passed to the Russians…

The Tories down there are raging that Vernon Jackson was unable to give a clear assurance that he had never given Hancock, or sent his office, sensitive information. They staged a complete walk out of the full council meeting. Guido has to agree with the head of the Tory grouping Steve Wemyss, who put it bluntly – “Is there something the Leader is trying to hide?”

They're All At It Together

While the the likes of Mike Hancock are flying the flag for Members’ late night shenanigans, Guido had to laugh when he heard that a particularly nasty bout of the clap is doing the rounds of parliamentary researchers and bag-carriers.

In these times of coalition there has apparently been a lot more, er, cross-party integration amongst the new boys and girls compared to the very tribal liaisons in the last Parliament. There have been some extremely awkward phone-calls between offices, and there is one corridor suffering particularly badly. With Christmas party season in full swing, wrap up kids, you have been warned…

Hancock Hanging On – But For How Long?

Guido understands that the plates are starting to move within the Portsmouth LibDems concerning the disgraced Mike Hancock, who is not only their MP but also a senior councillor. The LibDem Council Leader Gerald Vernon Jackson was said to have been rallying support for the battered MP at his Christmas Party on Saturday night.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Hancock's Sex Scandals Coming Out in the Open

There must come a point when even the LibDems, as tolerant of sexual straying as they are, must accept that Mike Hancock is a liability. The papers have even more on him this weekend. What the papers don’t mention is that allegations of serious sex crimes were made before the general election, “Handycock” sued the accuser and then dropped the case afterwards – with substantial costs awarded against him.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Saturday Seven Up

7upThis week the most popular stories were about Jeremy Hunt, Denis MacShane and Mike Hancock – the c***t theme being common to them all.

Guido’s favourite story of the week (which got no follow up in the Dead Tree Press) was an extract from Steve Hilton’s policy grid.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Hancock Withdraws from Russian Support

As Guido highlighted the other day, Mike Hancock was one of only two signatories to an Early Day Motion congratulating his beloved Russia for winning the World Cup bid, in what the rest of the world saw as a  total stitch up:

Funny that Mike has suddenly removed his name from EDM 1137.[…]

+ READ MORE +

+ + + No Hoon-Time for Five Years + + +

Hoon has been banned from holding a parliamentary pass for five years, Byers for two and Richard Caborn for six months. All three former Labour will have to apologise to the House in writing. If you want an end to the revolving door, why give former MPs passes anyway?[…]

+ READ MORE +

The Man Who Came in on a Dinghy

The nations media have descended on Portsmouth having finally realised Guido was right all along when he said Mike Hancock was a wrong ‘un. Guido is hearing tales of door-stepping and sniffing. With Hancock also a local councillor there is plenty to play with.[…]

+ READ MORE +

To Russia With Love

Early Day Motion 1137 wasn’t very popular yesterday:

That this House believes that it would be a good idea if all those individuals and organisations involved in the failed World Cup bid showed a little humility and good grace instead of continually whingeing and moaning about the unfairness of FIFA and the bidding process; while regretting that England was able only to accumulate two votes out of 22, congratulates Russia and Qatar on their success in bringing World Cup football to two parts of the world which have never hosted the World Cup before.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Hancock's Lolita Spy Girl Asked the Wrong Questions

As Mike Hancock’s young, candle loving, blonde faces deportation for spying, Guido thought he better have a look at what sort of “research” she had been doing for her amorous boss. A look into what Hancock has been asking in the House recently certainly raises eyebrows…

While yes, he is on the defence select committee, perhaps Mr Hancock could explain why he was so interested in our Atomic Weapons Establishment Site Development Context Plan?[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

David Cowling, the BBC’s head of political research, in an internal memo…

“It seems to me that the London bubble has to burst if there is to be any prospect of addressing the issues that have brought us to our current situation. There are many millions of people in the UK who do not enthuse about diversity and do not embrace metropolitan values yet do not consider themselves lesser human beings for all that. Until their values and opinions are acknowledged and respected, rather than ignored and despised, our present discord will persist. Because these discontents run very wide and very deep and the metropolitan political class, confronted by them, seems completely bewildered and at a loss about how to respond (“who are these ghastly people and where do they come from?” doesn’t really hack it). The 2016 EU referendum has witnessed the cashing in of some very bitter bankable grudges but I believe that, throughout this 2016 campaign, Europe has been the shadow not the substance.”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Britain Votes For Brexit Britain Votes For Brexit
BBC Declares Brexit Winner BBC Declares Brexit Winner
Guido’s Referendum Best Bits Guido’s Referendum Best Bits
Bob Geldof Boat Passenger Votes Leave Bob Geldof Boat Passenger Votes Leave
Which Brexiteer Are You? Which Brexiteer Are You?
Referendum Day CCHQ Leak Referendum Day CCHQ Leak
Liz Hurley Backs Brexit Liz Hurley Backs Brexit
WHICH REMAINER ARE YOU? WHICH REMAINER ARE YOU?
EU TO OPEN NEW TURKEY MEMBERSHIP TALKS ON JUNE 30 EU TO OPEN NEW TURKEY MEMBERSHIP TALKS ON JUNE 30
GERMAN BUSINESS CHIEF CALLS POSSIBILITY OF POST-BREXIT BARRIERS “VERY, VERY FOOLISH” GERMAN BUSINESS CHIEF CALLS POSSIBILITY OF POST-BREXIT BARRIERS “VERY, VERY FOOLISH”
PROJECT SNEER: LUVVIES SAY LEAVERS ARE ‘THICK IDIOTS’ PROJECT SNEER: LUVVIES SAY LEAVERS ARE ‘THICK IDIOTS’
TURKEY “FLABBERGASTED” BY CAMERON: “HE’S OUR BIGGEST SUPPORTER!” TURKEY “FLABBERGASTED” BY CAMERON: “HE’S OUR BIGGEST SUPPORTER!”
BORIS LOOKS FORWARD TO INDEPENDENCE DAY BORIS LOOKS FORWARD TO INDEPENDENCE DAY
HESELTINE: UK WILL JOIN EURO IF WE REMAIN HESELTINE: UK WILL JOIN EURO IF WE REMAIN
Sadiq “EU Should Not Be a Christian Club” Sadiq “EU Should Not Be a Christian Club”
“REST IN POWER”: CORPORATE SPIN DOCTORS TAKE CONTROL OF COX IMAGE “REST IN POWER”: CORPORATE SPIN DOCTORS TAKE CONTROL OF COX IMAGE
3 TORY CHICKENS YET TO DECLARE 3 TORY CHICKENS YET TO DECLARE
KEN SQUIRMS AS HITLER HISTORIAN DEBUNKED KEN SQUIRMS AS HITLER HISTORIAN DEBUNKED
REMAIN LEAFLET BLAMES LEAVE: “JO COX’S MURDER IS ONLY THE START” REMAIN LEAFLET BLAMES LEAVE: “JO COX’S MURDER IS ONLY THE START”
MOMENTUM CHIEF: MCDONNELL WHO IS SHOWING LEADERSHIP MOMENTUM CHIEF: MCDONNELL WHO IS SHOWING LEADERSHIP