Ronnie Corbett in the first episode of his new Radio 4 sitcom:

“Sharing a bathroom with a younger man? I’m not the Foreign Secretary, people will talk“.

Boris on Louise Mensch’s resignation:

“I think it’s literature’s gain“.

James Delingpole on running for Corby:

“Though I can’t claim to have taken quite as many drugs as Louise Mensch apparently has, I did make a pretty heroic go of it in my younger, longer-haired days.”

Kevin Maguire on Chancellor Zero:

“Where did they find the 2% of Tories who still thought Osborne could be leader? Must be his family.”

New Statesman editor Jason Cowley twists the knife into the Guardian:

“I could get 4 million users a day if we were losing £40m a year and had 650 journalists.”

James Curran at Leveson:

“To be brutally frank the Independent and the Guardian have tiny circulations“.

Ken Clarke cosies up to Brian Leveson:

“I’m glad he’s still speaking to me. He has the stamina of Andy Murray with the deftness of touch of Roger Federer”.

Boris defends Barclays at Mayor’s Question Time:

” I can see that Barclays is now taking steps to rebuild its own reputation in the wake of the LIBOR revelations. I will not accept that Barclays is a damaged brand, it would be great shame if they unleash an orgy of self-slaughter. They remain a fine institution and a massive London employer. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

Tom Watson finally escapes from his News International bubble:

“Banking is bigger than Murdoch“.

Tory MP Penny Mourdant on the brewing Lords reform rebellion:

“These reforms are going to lead to a constitutional crisis. I haven’t (rebelled before), many of my colleagues who have been in the House much longer than I have and have never voted against the government are considering it.”