The BBC’s James Purnell gives his assessment of Tom Watson:

“a cancer at the heart of the Labour Party”

Courtesy of Mick Twister:

There was an MP named Chris Huhne

Who suddenly altered his tune

So stop being beastly

The member for Eastleigh

Is exiting parliament soon.

Labour fire authority member Andrew Dismore tells Boris:

“You’re like Guy Fawkes. You want to burn down the Houses of Parliament.”

To mark the New Statesman’s George Orwell week, here is the man himself on the Staggers:

“An adolescent in a Glasgow slum worships Al Capone. An aspiring pupil at a business college worships Lord Nuffield. A New Statesman reader worships Stalin. There is a difference in intellectual maturity, but none in moral outlook.”

Nigel Farage hits back after Dave says only parties that might govern the country can take party in TV debates:

“If he wants to restrict it to those parties who are likely to form the next government, he’d better not be booking studio time himself.”

Two-faced Chuka Umunna told Jo Coburn that he had visited an HMV store over Christmas, but when pressed on what he had bought, replied:

“Er…I actually didn’t buy anything.”

The PM hits back on fox-hunting at PMQs:

“The only little red pests I pursue these days are in this House.”

IDS hits the nail on the head as Alec Shelbrooke asks him when Labour started bribing the electorate:

 ”It comes in their DNA.”

Jacob Rees-Mogg on lessons from his father:

“it was easier to get cannabis in Hinton Blewett than a copy of The Spectator.”

Eamonn Holmes signs off the first of his two big morning interviews on Sky:

“Thank you shadow chancellor, Ed Balls, who sometimes lives up to his name with what he says.”