Thursday, February 26, 2009

Labour Partying With Bankers Tonight

Crisis, what banking crisis? Yesterday the City minister Lord Myners was showing off his art collection to the Labour glitterati, tonight John Prescott will be in the heart of the financial district partying with the rest of the London Labour Party to raise money from bankers at a £500-a-table “Gala Dinner”

For public consumption Labour are bashing the bankers whilst privately they will be dancing to their tunes, still hoping to tap them up for donations. Tonight’s gala venue is next door to Lehman’s building in Canary Wharf, so perhaps they won’t raise quite as much money as they hope – particularly since any bankers still with jobs are unlikely to have cash to spare from non-existent bonuses. Unless of course you negotiated your exit package with Alastair Darling, in which case you are sorted for life…

Monday, February 23, 2009

Don’t Try to Wrong-Foot Prezza

Some say Prezza is over sensitive to criticism. Chris Mullins has mocked his ministerial career (Mullins was his junior minister) in his new book A View From The Foothills about the occasion he came to the office in mismatched shoes. Prezza swiftly jabs back on his blog:


Anyway, I wonder if he mentions in his book about the time when I was called by security to the front of the department’s building to deal with a tramp. I turned up to discover security refusing to let in a man dressed in a thick overcoat, scarf, gloves and a wooly Russian cap that covered his face and ears. I turned round to security and had to tell them:
“That’s no tramp, that’s my junior minister – Chris Mullin.”

That left hook is still swinging…

UPDATE : Lot of justified scepticism in the comments as to the veracity of Prezza’s account. Still funny.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Prezza Shows Draper How It Is Done

Guido had a famous run in with Prezza once before, where he told the Today programme “is it blogs they call ‘em?” Prescott has since come a long way on the information super – highway, rebutting Iain on video for daring to question if it really was Prezza, or his son David, updating his own status on Facebook. (Guido understands that it is David who is behind the somewhat amateurish Go4th attack videos.)

Credit where credit is due, Prezza gives as good as he gets – with some humour – meanwhile Draper is reduced to ringing up pressure groups to berate interns.

UPDATE 4 Feb, 2009 : Dale has found the exact quote: “I think it’s called the internet or blogs or something. I haven’t got into all this new technology. I’ve only just got used to letters.” and Total Politics has the recording.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Pass the Sick-Bag Pauline

We already knew from Tracey’s kiss ‘n tell that Prezza suffered from diabetic impotence, hence the necessity for a few Viagra when he was attempting to hide the chipolata with his mistresses. Will that also be in his “no punches pulled” book?

Guido has to be the first to ask, is it really the classical bulimia condition he is describing?

I was getting all this pleasure stuffing food in, perhaps if I could get it out, I could carry on eating, do the same the next day. So I started deliberately sicking it up. I’d go to the toilet after guzzling, put a finger down my throat, and make it all come up. It was surprisingly easy.

Prezza is admitting it had nothing to do with poor self-image, or other self-esteem issues and all to do with him enjoying going through all the numbers on the menu at the local Chinese.

Whenever I go to Mr Chu’s in Hull, my favourite Chinese restaurant in the whole world, great atmosphere, great people, I could eat my way through the entire menu.

He would sick it up so he could consume more. That is plain old fashioned gluttony. The Romans knew the joy of orgies of over-eating followed by vomiting. Cicero, in Pro Rege Deiotaro, records that Julius Caesar “expressed a desire to vomit after dinner” (vomere post cenam te velle dixisses), and says that the dictator took emetics for this purpose.

Prezza is not suffering from a tragic condition, he is just a gluttonous, greedy sicko.

Prezza’s self-outing has neverthless given Guido the courage to confess that he too suffers from an eating disorder. Guido’s recent weight gain has been cruelly mocked by cartoonists and even the usually so right-on stick-to-the-ishoos types. Rich Johnston the cartoonist described the technical term for Guido’s condition as “daddy fat”. In fact during the first three years of married life Guido was gaining weight at the rate of a pound per month.

Although Guido has yet to sign his book contract, it seems that now is the right time to reveal the suffering and torment caused by endless long lunches, bottles of Margaux, Port and cheese accompaniments…

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Prescott Peacemaking Fears

The Council of Europe is for some unfathomable reason sending the disgraced former deputy-PM and pugilist John Prescott to Armenia: “John Prescott will assess the post-electoral situation and explore possibilities for defusing the current political crisis and promoting dialogue”. Prescott promoting dialogue?

Guido fears that he will only worsen the state of emergency. Armenian troops and protesters have already clashed leaving 8 dead and more than 100 injured. Perhaps Prescott will tell the government troops to use their fists instead of bullets. That is after all what he did with protesters when he was in government..

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Prezza Dynasty Denied

Prezza’s dynastic hopes look to be thwarted, the boy David has yet to get anywhere near being nominated. Hull Labour branches are also reluctant to give any support to former MP and Gordon Brown’s leadership campaign “Cheque Ripper” Chris Leslie.

Three more branches nominate by Monday. Bet on Prescott Jnr and Leslie being squeezed out altogether…

Hat-tip : www.ThisIsHull.co.uk

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Prezza for Hire – Will Speak for Between "£10,000 to £25,000"

Fancy a comedy turn after dinner? Well Prezza has signed up with JLA, suppliers of motivational speakers, after dinner speakers and entertainers for corporate and industry events. £25,000 to listen to Prezza mangle the English language?

The JLA site is fascinating, Guido learns that he could get Boris for somewhere between £5,000 to £10,00. Going down market, he could even hire Sir Michael White for a grand.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Prezza’s Million Pound Pension

Prezza will get a pension valued at well over a million pounds and paying him over £1,000 a week. He of course has no declared interest in his son’s property dealing – largely involving politically sensitive planning applications or public sector land.

But it is nice to know the family has prospered so well while he was fighting so eloquently on behalf of the poor.

Prezza To Announce Retirement as MP Saturday

The Hull Daily Mail is reporting that Prezza will tell constituency activists at a party at his home on Saturday that he intends to step down as an MP. After trousering £300,000 for his memoirs (ghost written obviously) this was always on the cards.

Guido will miss the entertainment that the grammar mangling, pie-eating pugilist and serial adulterer brought to politics.

In the running for his seat: former Shipley MP, Chris Leslie, Jonathan Ashworth: a Tresury SpAd and Brownite loyalist, popular local councillor Steven Bayes and his spin-doctor son David Prescott.

It also occurs to Guido that the timing of the decision might indicate that Prezza thinks the election is very imminent…

Monday, June 4, 2007

Prescott Rumours

Unconfirmed rumours going round that it is more serious than just a mere “chest infection“.


Seen Elsewhere

Clegg Must Fire David Ward | Sun
David Ruffley’s Campaign Against Domestic Violence | Buzzfeed
LibDem Criticises Clegg Over Farage Debates | Express
Ruffley Must Go | Guardian
Political Correctness Breeds Extremism in Schools | Chris McGovern
Ruffley Faces Crisis Meeting | ITV
I Sang “Maggie Out” (When I Was 7) | Liz Truss
UKIP Have Learnt How to Street Fight | Dr Rob Ford
Now Labour Want to Tax Sports Betting | BBC
Farage: Dave, Griffin, Rory, Lord Ashcroft, Beer & Fags | Sun
Ruffley Lawyers Issue Apology | Standard


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New Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond has big ambitions in his first meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu today:

“I came to bring this conflict to an end.”



Flight Watch says:

Russia Today is a cauldron of bullsh*t. The only people that take it seriously are deluded conspiracy theorists. Other RT journos have resigned citing the same reasons.

It’s about as believable as Press TV, KCNA of North Korea or the Daily Mirror.


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