Pass the Sick-Bag Pauline

We already knew from Tracey’s kiss ‘n tell that Prezza suffered from diabetic impotence, hence the necessity for a few Viagra when he was attempting to hide the chipolata with his mistresses. Will that also be in his “no punches pulled” book?

Guido has to be the first to ask, is it really the classical bulimia condition he is describing?

I was getting all this pleasure stuffing food in, perhaps if I could get it out, I could carry on eating, do the same the next day. So I started deliberately sicking it up. I’d go to the toilet after guzzling, put a finger down my throat, and make it all come up. It was surprisingly easy.

Prezza is admitting it had nothing to do with poor self-image, or other self-esteem issues and all to do with him enjoying going through all the numbers on the menu at the local Chinese.

Whenever I go to Mr Chu’s in Hull, my favourite Chinese restaurant in the whole world, great atmosphere, great people, I could eat my way through the entire menu.

He would sick it up so he could consume more. That is plain old fashioned gluttony. The Romans knew the joy of orgies of over-eating followed by vomiting. Cicero, in Pro Rege Deiotaro, records that Julius Caesar “expressed a desire to vomit after dinner” (vomere post cenam te velle dixisses), and says that the dictator took emetics for this purpose.

Prezza is not suffering from a tragic condition, he is just a gluttonous, greedy sicko.

Prezza’s self-outing has neverthless given Guido the courage to confess that he too suffers from an eating disorder. Guido’s recent weight gain has been cruelly mocked by cartoonists and even the usually so right-on stick-to-the-ishoos types. Rich Johnston the cartoonist described the technical term for Guido’s condition as “daddy fat”. In fact during the first three years of married life Guido was gaining weight at the rate of a pound per month.

Although Guido has yet to sign his book contract, it seems that now is the right time to reveal the suffering and torment caused by endless long lunches, bottles of Margaux, Port and cheese accompaniments…

Prescott Peacemaking Fears

The Council of Europe is for some unfathomable reason sending the disgraced former deputy-PM and pugilist John Prescott to Armenia: “John Prescott will assess the post-electoral situation and explore possibilities for defusing the current political crisis and promoting dialogue”. Prescott promoting dialogue?

Guido fears that he will only worsen the state of emergency. Armenian troops and protesters have already clashed leaving 8 dead and more than 100 injured. Perhaps Prescott will tell the government troops to use their fists instead of bullets. That is after all what he did with protesters when he was in government..

Prezza Dynasty Denied

Prezza’s dynastic hopes look to be thwarted, the boy David has yet to get anywhere near being nominated. Hull Labour branches are also reluctant to give any support to former MP and Gordon Brown’s leadership campaign “Cheque Ripper” Chris Leslie.

Three more branches nominate by Monday. Bet on Prescott Jnr and Leslie being squeezed out altogether…

Hat-tip : www.ThisIsHull.co.uk

Prezza for Hire – Will Speak for Between “£10,000 to £25,000”

Fancy a comedy turn after dinner? Well Prezza has signed up with JLA, suppliers of motivational speakers, after dinner speakers and entertainers for corporate and industry events. £25,000 to listen to Prezza mangle the English language?

The JLA site is fascinating, Guido learns that he could get Boris for somewhere between £5,000 to £10,00. Going down market, he could even hire Sir Michael White for a grand.

Prezza’s Million Pound Pension

Prezza will get a pension valued at well over a million pounds and paying him over £1,000 a week. He of course has no declared interest in his son’s property dealing – largely involving politically sensitive planning applications or public sector land.

But it is nice to know the family has prospered so well while he was fighting so eloquently on behalf of the poor.

Prezza To Announce Retirement as MP Saturday

The Hull Daily Mail is reporting that Prezza will tell constituency activists at a party at his home on Saturday that he intends to step down as an MP. After trousering £300,000 for his memoirs (ghost written obviously) this was always on the cards.

Guido will miss the entertainment that the grammar mangling, pie-eating pugilist and serial adulterer brought to politics.

In the running for his seat: former Shipley MP, Chris Leslie, Jonathan Ashworth: a Tresury SpAd and Brownite loyalist, popular local councillor Steven Bayes and his spin-doctor son David Prescott.

It also occurs to Guido that the timing of the decision might indicate that Prezza thinks the election is very imminent…

Prescott Rumours

Unconfirmed rumours going round that it is more serious than just a mere “chest infection“.

Why No Reporting of Prezza’s Resignation Statement?

He has made one y’know…

“To have been deputy leader and the longest serving deputy prime minister is a matter of great pride to me. This government is testament to the fact that it is possible to apply traditional Labour values in a modern setting. I passionately believe that it will continue to do so under a new leader and deputy, and that we have the values to convince the British people that we deserve a fourth term in government.”

No mention of all the perks he’ll miss…

Prezza Takes the Biscuit

The cost of the Deputy Prime Minister’s Office has risen by 30%. If you thought Prescott was bad value for money when it cost £2m to keep him on the croquet lawns and perform his various roles, then a 30% cost overrun to £2.6m is outrageous.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Heather Wheeler talks to Burton Mail about her tweet…

“It was a tongue in cheek pop after the European Parliament tweet – it was purely that. I also wanted to congratulate Team GB on a brilliant result and thirdly congratulate the Commonwealth countries who also did very well. Fourth, I am also looking forwarded to establishing new trade agreements. That was it – nothing more. Let’s just enjoy the summer!”

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