From Bard To Worse: PM’s Terrible Shakespeare Gags

Don’t think Eton boy Dave is giving his Harrow rival Benedict Cumberbatch a run for his money just yet…

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Karen Lumley (Redditch)

Q2 Anna Turley (Redcar)

Q3 Clive Efford (Eltham)

Q4 Caroline Lucas (Brighton, Pavilion)

Q5 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West)

Q6 Nadhim Zahawi (Stratford-on-Avon)

Q7 Mr George Howarth (Knowsley)

Q8 Debbie Abrahams (Oldham East and Saddleworth)

Q9 Chris Green (Bolton West)

Q10 Simon Hart (Carmarthen West and South Pembrokeshire)

Q11 Mike Kane (Wythenshawe and Sale East)

Q12 Jim Dowd (Lewisham West and Penge)

Q13 Seema Kennedy (South Ribble)

Q14 Mr Gavin Shuker (Luton South)

Q15 Grahame Morris (Easington)

Comments in the comments…

PMQs Sketch: Dennis “Tyson Fury” Skinner Heckles PM

simon“A f***ing Happy C***mas to you, you c***-foombling, fist-f***ing, f***-fest!”. 

So shouted Dennis Skinner to the Prime Minister, in rowdy Commons scenes just now. (Reported dialogue may not represent actual words actually used.) The Speaker had lost control of proceedings and the Commons abandoned itself to South Korean scenes. Even inside the chamber it wasn’t possible to hear what it was old Tyson Fury Skinner was yelling but people did think there was an outside chance he might cross the floor and lamp the leader of Her Majesty’s Government.

The session had started promisingly with Jeremy Corbyn congratulating Major Tim on his space journey and saying, “He may not be on this planet.”There may have been a joke in there he was trying to get out, but he gave up gracefully went into five questions on forecasting increasing funding pressure on social care cuts in the shortfall of the Autumn statement’s confederation piling more pressure on the forecasts of social care.

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PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Richard Graham (Gloucester)

Q2 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn)

Q3 Callum McCaig (Aberdeen South)

Q4 Alison Thewliss (Glasgow Central)

Q5 Mrs Anne-Marie Trevelyan (Berwick-upon-Tweed) 

Q6 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q7 Mark Pawsey (Rugby) 

Q8 Ms Gisela Stuart (Birmingham, Edgbaston)

Q9 Mr Douglas Carswell (Clacton) 

Q10 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty) 

Q11 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw) 

Q12 Mr Ranil Jayawardena (North East Hampshire) 

Q13 Fiona Bruce (Congleton) 

Q14 Danny Kinahan (South Antrim) 

Q15 Oliver Dowden (Hertsmere) 

Comments in the comments…

PMQs Sketch: Osborne Red-Faced and Shouty v Rock Star Angela

simon

She got a rock star’s welcome, in her spangling tank top and cutaway jacket. With the best hair of her career Angela Eagle looked a million dollars. US dollars, too, none of that Hong Kong rubbish.

Poor old Corbyn looks like a homeless person in comparison. He’s got a new haircut and it’s the one they give prisoners before they get released.

Labour loved Angela and the Tories joined in, to give her the longest, loudest welcome in recent parliamentary history. Osborne, standing in for Cameron, made his best point, his only really good point, by noting “the warm support” she was receiving from her party.

After that, he fell into every trap she laid for him.

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Best of Angela Eagle at PMQs

The Eagle has landed blow after blow on George Osborne at a gag-tastic PMQs:

Labour benches were louder and happier than they’ve been for weeks…

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Dave is in Europe so it’s Osborne versus Angela Eagle today:

Q1 Richard Burden (Birmingham, Northfield)

Q2 Mr David Burrowes (Enfield, Southgate) 

Q3 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton) 

Q4 Caroline Nokes (Romsey and Southampton North) 

Q5 Steve Brine (Winchester)

Q6 Alison Thewliss (Glasgow Central)

Q7 Dr Philippa Whitford (Central Ayrshire) 

Q8 Gavin Newlands (Paisley and Renfrewshire North) 

Q9 Daniel Zeichner (Cambridge) 

Q10 Alison McGovern (Wirral South) 

Q11 Stephen Timms (East Ham) 

Q12 Karl McCartney (Lincoln) 

Q13 Ian Mearns (Gateshead) 

Q14 Wendy Morton (Aldridge-Brownhills) 

Q15 Mr Alan Mak (Havant) 

Comments in the comments…

PMQs Sketch: Chamberlain Would Have Felt Like a War-Monger

simon

Let the history books show that on the brink of World War III, with a Russian jet shot down by NATO, terror threats against national leaders, the EU capital in lockdown, an apocalypse promised on the plain of Dabiq by 30,000 death-loving jihadis – the Leader of the Opposition questioned the Prime minister on subsidies to solar panels.

Chamberlain would have felt like a war-monger.

You can see his three levels of thinking. He’s too grown-up to join in marching to the drum beat of war. He’s avoiding yet another issue his shadow cabinet hasn’t decided on. And most deeply, he’s showing us, possibly unintentionally, that PMQs is no place for discussion of great affairs.

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Meet Corbyn’s Pals: Ziggy, Israel and Jay

Guido was intrigued to hear Corbyn mention Israel positively, asking a question from Ziggy, Israel and Jay in PMQs today. Having done a bit of digging, we can reveal that Jezza neglected to mention that they are environmental activists affiliated with Friends of The Earth.[…] Read the rest

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PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Fiona Bruce (Congleton)

Q2 Margaret Ferrier (Rutherglen and Hamilton West)

Q3 Emily Thornberry (Islington South and Finsbury)

Q4 Maria Caulfield (Lewes)

Q5 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn)

Q6 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q7Caroline Flint (Don Valley)

Q8 Robert Jenrick (Newark)

Q9 Imran Hussain (Bradford East)

Q10 Steve Double (St Austell and Newquay)

Q11 Mr Jim Cunningham (Coventry South) 

Q12 Stewart McDonald (Glasgow South) 

Q13 Graham Stuart (Beverley and Holderness) 

Q14 Mark Garnier (Wyre Forest) 

Q15 Ms Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh (Ochil and South Perthshire) 

 Comments in the comments…[…] Read the rest

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PMQs SKETCH: Captive Corbyn’s Coded Message

simon

Poor old Jeremy, he looked like a hostage in front of the camera reading in a detached, formal, unconvinced way the statement prepared by his captors.

He had to say something or they’d have cut his head off at the next PLP.[…] Read the rest

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PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Gordon Marsden (Blackpool South)

Q2 Andrew Rosindell (Romford) 

Q3 Gareth Johnson (Dartford) 

Q4 Phil Wilson (Sedgefield)

Q5 Andy McDonald (Middlesbrough) 

Q6 John Mann (Bassetlaw) 

Q7 Richard Fuller (Bedford) 

Q8 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn) 

Q9 Imran Hussain (Bradford East) 

Q10 Mr Graham Brady (Altrincham and Sale West)

Q11 Jonathan Reynolds (Stalybridge and Hyde) 

Q12 Craig Tracey (North Warwickshire)

Q13 Jesse Norman (Hereford and South Herefordshire) 

Q14 Jack Lopresti (Filton and Bradley Stoke)

Q15 Yvonne Fovargue (Makerfield)

Comments in the comments…[…] Read the rest

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PMQs SKETCH: Corbyn Goes From Angry Chicken to Sick Chicken

simon

The stare isn’t going so well suddenly. It never worked, it only seemed to, with the Tories falling back in embarrassment. Corbyn read this as bullies being struck with silent wonder at the sight of proper, grown-up politics.

No, it was the reaction of an audience seeing an actor forgetting his lines, or a juggler dropping the ball, or a magician letting the cards fall out of his sleeve.[…] Read the rest

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No Marx For Dave’s Commie Gag

“Look at his appointments. His media adviser is a Stalinist. His new policy adviser is a Trotskyist. And his economic adviser is a communist. If he’s trying to move the Labour Party to the left, I’d give him full Marx.”

Incidentally, who is the communist economics adviser?[…] Read the rest

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PMQs: Who Is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Craig Tracey (North Warwickshire)

Q2 Fiona Mactaggart (Slough) 

Q3 Nigel Huddleston (Mid Worcestershire) 

Q4 Mr David Anderson (Blaydon) 

Q5 Dr James Davies (Vale of Clwyd) 

Q6 Damian Collins (Folkestone and Hythe)

Q7 Gordon Marsden (Blackpool South) 

Q8 Diana Johnson (Kingston upon Hull North) 

Q9 Stephen Metcalfe (South Basildon and East Thurrock) 

Q10 John Nicolson (East Dunbartonshire) 

Q11 Paul Flynn (Newport West) 

Q12 Mrs Anne-Marie Trevelyan (Berwick-upon-Tweed)

Q13 Kevin Hollinrake (Thirsk and Malton) 

Comments in the comments please…[…] Read the rest

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PMQs SKETCH: Corbyn’s Chicken Death Stare

simon

People say he’s not doing too badly, and he’s not doing too badly for an old man in a pub, for a clapped-out author wearying a school assembly, for a hero of the previous revolution but one (second class).

He’s obviously pleased with his “death stare”.[…] Read the rest

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