WATCH: Cameron’s ‘Bill Somebody’ PMQs Gag

Cameron delivered his best gag for ages at PMQs today:

“The day after his Shadow Chancellor was asked on the television could he think of one single business leader, do you know what he said, he said ‘Bill somebody’. Mr Speaker, ‘Bill somebody’ is not a person, ‘Bill somebody’ is Labour’s policy!”

Only six more to go…

PMQs LIVE: Who Is Asking the Questions Today

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Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Phil Wilson (Sedgefield)

Q2 Susan Elan Jones (Clwyd South) 

Q3 Stuart Andrew (Pudsey) 

Q4 Mr Adrian Sanders (Torbay)

Q5 Dan Jarvis (Barnsley Central) 

Q6 Joan Walley (Stoke-on-Trent North) 

Q7 Margot James (Stourbridge) 

Q8 Charlie Elphicke (Dover) 

Q9 Mr Graham Stuart (Beverley and Holderness) 

Q10 Tom Blenkinsop (Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland) 

Q11 Mr David Anderson (Blaydon) 

Q12 Mike Freer (Finchley and Golders Green) 

Q13 Jesse Norman (Hereford and South Herefordshire)

Q14 Anne Marie Morris (Newton Abbot) 

Q15 Mark Durkan (Foyle) 

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs: Ed’s Weapon Backfires

Is it a crime to provoke a hate crime?

Will Ed Miliband find himself in the dock for stirring up hatred against himself?

Labour feelings about their leader have traversed a spectrum starting with loyal embarrassment, moving through incredulity, to pity, to despair and anger – until now, the more emotionally advanced are exploring the utility of hate.

It’s a bit late to do anything about it before the election, but the yodeling uselessness of the fellow is a crime against democracy. Continue reading

PMQs LIVE: Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mr Frank Field (Birkenhead)

Q2 Lilian Greenwood (Nottingham South)

Q3 Lyn Brown (West Ham) 

Q4 Sandra Osborne (Ayr, Carrick and Cumnock) 

Q5 Mr Dennis Skinner (Bolsover) 

Q6 Mr Tim Yeo (South Suffolk) 

Q7 Mrs Louise Ellman (Liverpool, Riverside) 

Q8 Simon Hart (Carmarthen West and South Pembrokeshire) 

Q9 Dr Julian Huppert (Cambridge) 

Q10 Clive Efford (Eltham) 

Q11 Thomas Docherty (Dunfermline and West Fife) 

Q12 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q13 Roger Williams (Brecon and Radnorshire)

Q14 Andrew Jones (Harrogate and Knaresborough) 

Q15 Eric Ollerenshaw (Lancaster and Fleetwood) 

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs: Another Strategic Failure for the Brainiac Leading Labour

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His core vote strategy rests on a Marxist idea that the country is groaning under a cabal of Etonian cannibals. That we’re re-running the Great Depression. That We’ve Never Had It So Bad. That the poor will be soon paying to work and selling their children to restaurants.

Miserablism doesn’t win elections any more than Marxism.

Are we really ‘a country of food banks and bankers’ bonuses’? One per cent of us, perhaps.

The way he talks about us “everyday people” England has the happiness rating of a leper colony.

And what must we do to be saved?

Miliband is no Messiah. Pious, yes. Other-worldly, yes. Crucifixion-material, yes. Redeemer of the British people, no.

Cameron played up some story readers of the Mail on Sunday will recognise. Miliband went to Doncaster. He couldn’t open a door, got bullied by small children and set a carpet on fire. It was beyond bacon.

Continue reading

VICTORY: Mills Appointment Officially Dead

Statement after PMQs is apparently not for Bercow to grovel, despite his ‘pause’ in appointing a new Commons Clerk becoming permanent. Delicious.

PMQs LIVE:  Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Siobhain McDonagh (Mitcham and Morden)

Q2 Mark Reckless (Rochester and Strood) 

Q3 Mrs Mary Glindon (North Tyneside) 

Q4 Andrew Gwynne (Denton and Reddish) 

Q5 Angela Smith (Penistone and Stocksbridge) 

Q6 Charlie Elphicke (Dover) 

Q7 Toby Perkins (Chesterfield)

Q8 Ms Diane Abbott (Hackney North and Stoke Newington) 

Q9 Mr David Winnick (Walsall North)

Q10 Stephen Timms (East Ham) 

Q11 Pamela Nash (Airdrie and Shotts)

Q12 Glyn Davies (Montgomeryshire) 

Q13 Gemma Doyle (West Dunbartonshire) 

Q14 Sir Bob Russell (Colchester) 

Q15 Mr David Ward (Bradford East) 

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs SKETCH: Cameron ‘Frit’ of Farage, Not Miliband

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Eye witnesses in the press gallery had PMQs as a Miliband walkover, but television – reality, that is – told a different story.

You can tile up a number of screens on top of BBC Parliament and watch – say – lesbian spanking porn while listening to Ed’s voice and you can try turning over the words “Prime Minister Miliband”.

And it’s true – he has an engaging private voice. It’s got texture. It’s got a second, lower register. He can easily, gently, get down there. “Down there where the money is,” as Bing Crosby, the crooning seducer, had it.

And when he uses this voice, as he did, to talk about the Paris massacres… To put it as strongly as possible: I don’t deny it’s not impossible to think of Miliband as a prime minister.

But before the lesbian delinquents had been properly corrected, Ed had finished with Islamic maniacs threatening our civilization and started in on the TV debates.

Face flying, finger working, eyes darting to and from his script, mouth ballooning, and the voice wailing up into the altosphere.

Prime Minister Miliband. Suddenly it’s like Unsinkable Ship. Something that’s impossible, and if it does happen, sinks.

Continue reading

PMQs LIVE: Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Gregg McClymont (Cumbernauld, Kilsyth and Kirkintilloch East)

Q2 Dr Alan Whitehead (Southampton, Test)

Q3 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield)

Q4 Stephen Metcalfe (South Basildon and East Thurrock)

Q5 Nic Dakin (SHunthorpe)

Q6 Mr John Whittingdale

[…]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs SKETCH: Holy Warrior of the NHS

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If the NHS is Labour’s religion, the immanent, unknowable reality that nurtures its people, Ed Miliband is its holy warrior. It’s an old-fashioned, unreformed religion based on medieval inspiration and badly in need of a reformation but it still has […]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs LIVE: Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Martin Horwood (Cheltenham)

Q2 Mr Lee Scott (Ilford North)

Q3 Mr Jamie Reed (Copeland)

Q4 John Robertson (Glasgow North West)

Q5 Anas Sarwar (Glasgow Central)

QHenry Smith (Crawley)

Q7 Mr Virendra Sharma (Ealing,

[…]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs LIVE: Who Is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Oliver Colvile (Plymouth, Sutton and Devonport)

Q2 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q3 Neil Carmichael (Stroud) 

Q4 Mark Garnier (Wyre Forest) 

Q5 Mr Nicholas Brown (Newcastle upon Tyne East) 

Q6 Richard Fuller (Bedford) 

Q7 

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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