Ask Jez: Why Could Labour Be Fined Up To £500,000?

Lab Comms

Jeremy Corbyn has revolutionised PMQs by outsourcing his questions to members of the public. Voters are able to send in their question by supplying their email address and filling out an online form with their suggestions. Guido would like to remind everyone to use this form responsibly…

Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear Labour have complied with the regulations laid out by the Information Commissioners Office’s on online communications, with the ICO stipulating that there must be an opt-out option for receiving future e-mail communications from the party. This option is noticeably absent on Labour’s forms. Fines for such breaches can run up to £500,000…

PMQs SKETCH: Full Fathom Five Labour’s Leader Lies


Be not afeard; the House is full of noises. Given the recent floods, the Prime Minister avoided quoting The Tempest as the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare’s death was expropriated to ridicule the Shadow Cabinet reshuffle omnishambles: “It looked like this reshuffle could go into its Twelth Night.” “A comedy of errors!” “Much ado about nothing!” “Love’s Labour’s Lost!”.

There had clearly been advanced planning. The Shakespeare question came from the friendly backbench MP for Stratford-upon-Avon, Nadhim Zahawi, who commended “our greatest living bard”. (Eh?) It’s customary to groan at the crassness of the jokes, but a more sophisticated version would not really work. Sir Bruce Forsyth enjoys watching PMQs regarding it as “pure vaudeville”. I find it oddly comforting that senior Downing Street operatives will have spent this morning deliberating over Shakespearean puns.

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From Bard To Worse: PM’s Terrible Shakespeare Gags

Don’t think Eton boy Dave is giving his Harrow rival Benedict Cumberbatch a run for his money just yet…

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Karen Lumley (Redditch)

Q2 Anna Turley (Redcar)

Q3 Clive Efford (Eltham)

Q4 Caroline Lucas (Brighton, Pavilion)

Q5 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West)

Q6 Nadhim Zahawi (Stratford-on-Avon)

Q7 Mr George Howarth (Knowsley)

Q8 Debbie Abrahams (Oldham East and Saddleworth)

Q9 Chris Green (Bolton West)

Q10 Simon Hart (Carmarthen West and South Pembrokeshire)

Q11 Mike Kane (Wythenshawe and Sale East)

Q12 Jim Dowd (Lewisham West and Penge)

Q13 Seema Kennedy (South Ribble)

Q14 Mr Gavin Shuker (Luton South)

Q15 Grahame Morris (Easington)

Comments in the comments…

PMQs Sketch: Dennis “Tyson Fury” Skinner Heckles PM

simon“A f***ing Happy C***mas to you, you c***-foombling, fist-f***ing, f***-fest!”. 

So shouted Dennis Skinner to the Prime Minister, in rowdy Commons scenes just now. (Reported dialogue may not represent actual words actually used.) The Speaker had lost control of proceedings and the Commons abandoned itself to South Korean scenes. Even inside the chamber it wasn’t possible to hear what it was old Tyson Fury Skinner was yelling but people did think there was an outside chance he might cross the floor and lamp the leader of Her Majesty’s Government.

The session had started promisingly with Jeremy Corbyn congratulating Major Tim on his space journey and saying, “He may not be on this planet.”There may have been a joke in there he was trying to get out, but he gave up gracefully went into five questions on forecasting increasing funding pressure on social care cuts in the shortfall of the Autumn statement’s confederation piling more pressure on the forecasts of social care.

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PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Richard Graham (Gloucester)

Q2 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn)

Q3 Callum McCaig (Aberdeen South)

Q4 Alison Thewliss (Glasgow Central)

Q5 Mrs Anne-Marie Trevelyan (Berwick-upon-Tweed) 

Q6 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q7 Mark Pawsey (Rugby) 

Q8 Ms Gisela Stuart (Birmingham, Edgbaston)

Q9 Mr Douglas Carswell (Clacton) 

Q10 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty) 

Q11 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw) 

Q12 Mr Ranil Jayawardena (North East Hampshire) 

Q13 Fiona Bruce (Congleton) 

Q14 Danny Kinahan (South Antrim) 

Q15 Oliver Dowden (Hertsmere) 

Comments in the comments…

PMQs Sketch: Osborne Red-Faced and Shouty v Rock Star Angela


She got a rock star’s welcome, in her spangling tank top and cutaway jacket. With the best hair of her career Angela Eagle looked a million dollars. US dollars, too, none of that Hong Kong rubbish.

Poor old Corbyn looks like a homeless person in comparison. He’s got a new haircut and it’s the one they give prisoners before they get released.

Labour loved Angela and the Tories joined in, to give her the longest, loudest welcome in recent parliamentary history. Osborne, standing in for Cameron, made his best point, his only really good point, by noting “the warm support” she was receiving from her party.

After that, he fell into every trap she laid for him.

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Best of Angela Eagle at PMQs

The Eagle has landed blow after blow on George Osborne at a gag-tastic PMQs:

Labour benches were louder and happier than they’ve been for weeks…

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Dave is in Europe so it’s Osborne versus Angela Eagle today:

Q1 Richard Burden (Birmingham, Northfield)

Q2 Mr David Burrowes (Enfield, Southgate) 

Q3 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton) 

Q4 Caroline Nokes (Romsey and Southampton North) 

Q5 Steve Brine (Winchester)

Q6 Alison Thewliss (Glasgow Central)

Q7 Dr Philippa Whitford (Central Ayrshire) 

Q8 Gavin Newlands (Paisley and Renfrewshire North) 

Q9 Daniel Zeichner (Cambridge) 

Q10 Alison McGovern (Wirral South) 

Q11 Stephen Timms (East Ham) 

Q12 Karl McCartney (Lincoln) 

Q13 Ian Mearns (Gateshead) 

Q14 Wendy Morton (Aldridge-Brownhills) 

Q15 Mr Alan Mak (Havant) 

Comments in the comments…[…]


PMQs Sketch: Chamberlain Would Have Felt Like a War-Monger


Let the history books show that on the brink of World War III, with a Russian jet shot down by NATO, terror threats against national leaders, the EU capital in lockdown, an apocalypse promised on the plain of Dabiq by 30,000 death-loving jihadis – the Leader of the Opposition questioned the Prime minister on subsidies to solar panels.[…]


Meet Corbyn’s Pals: Ziggy, Israel and Jay

Guido was intrigued to hear Corbyn mention Israel positively, asking a question from Ziggy, Israel and Jay in PMQs today. Having done a bit of digging, we can reveal that Jezza neglected to mention that they are environmental activists affiliated with Friends of The Earth.[…]


PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Fiona Bruce (Congleton)

Q2 Margaret Ferrier (Rutherglen and Hamilton West)

Q3 Emily Thornberry (Islington South and Finsbury)

Q4 Maria Caulfield (Lewes)

Q5 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn)

Q6 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q7Caroline Flint (Don Valley)

Q8 Robert Jenrick (Newark)

Q9 Imran Hussain (Bradford East)

Q10 Steve Double (St Austell and Newquay)

Q11 Mr Jim Cunningham (Coventry South) 

Q12 Stewart McDonald (Glasgow South) 

Q13 Graham Stuart (Beverley and Holderness) 

Q14 Mark Garnier (Wyre Forest) 

Q15 Ms Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh (Ochil and South Perthshire) 

 Comments in the comments…[…]


PMQs SKETCH: Captive Corbyn’s Coded Message


Poor old Jeremy, he looked like a hostage in front of the camera reading in a detached, formal, unconvinced way the statement prepared by his captors.

He had to say something or they’d have cut his head off at the next PLP.[…]


PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Gordon Marsden (Blackpool South)

Q2 Andrew Rosindell (Romford) 

Q3 Gareth Johnson (Dartford) 

Q4 Phil Wilson (Sedgefield)

Q5 Andy McDonald (Middlesbrough) 

Q6 John Mann (Bassetlaw) 

Q7 Richard Fuller (Bedford) 

Q8 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn) 

Q9 Imran Hussain (Bradford East) 

Q10 Mr Graham Brady (Altrincham and Sale West)

Q11 Jonathan Reynolds (Stalybridge and Hyde) 

Q12 Craig Tracey (North Warwickshire)

Q13 Jesse Norman (Hereford and South Herefordshire) 

Q14 Jack Lopresti (Filton and Bradley Stoke)

Q15 Yvonne Fovargue (Makerfield)

Comments in the comments…[…]


PMQs SKETCH: Corbyn Goes From Angry Chicken to Sick Chicken


The stare isn’t going so well suddenly. It never worked, it only seemed to, with the Tories falling back in embarrassment. Corbyn read this as bullies being struck with silent wonder at the sight of proper, grown-up politics.

No, it was the reaction of an audience seeing an actor forgetting his lines, or a juggler dropping the ball, or a magician letting the cards fall out of his sleeve.[…]


No Marx For Dave’s Commie Gag

“Look at his appointments. His media adviser is a Stalinist. His new policy adviser is a Trotskyist. And his economic adviser is a communist. If he’s trying to move the Labour Party to the left, I’d give him full Marx.”

Incidentally, who is the communist economics adviser?[…]


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Quote of the Day

Philip Hammond at Treasury questions:

“I’m sorry to be boring.”

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