PMQs LIVE: Save Ed Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Jonathan Edwards (Carmarthen East and Dinefwr)

Q2 Iain McKenzie (Inverclyde) 

Q3 Stephen McPartland (Stevenage) 

Q4 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

Q5 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West) 

Q6 Andrew Selous (South West Bedfordshire) 

Q7 Kerry McCarthy (Bristol East) 

Q8 Mark Hendrick (Preston)

Q9 Dr Eilidh Whiteford (Banff and Buchan) 

Q10 Richard Harrington (Watford)

Q11 Mr Khalid Mahmood (Birmingham, Perry Barr) 

Q12 Jonathan Reynolds (Stalybridge and Hyde)

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs SKETCH: Self-Confident Ed Lacking Intellectual Capacity

The self-confidence of Ed Miliband is other-worldly. So other-worldly that broadcasting it, he feels, makes him more electable.

Between him and Cameron, he told the Standard, “I am the one with much more intellectual self-confidence, actually.” (‘Actually’!)

How then to explain his second-class degree, when everybody else was getting firsts (Ed Balls, David Miliband, David Cameron, Stewart Wood perhaps)? Even a second-class Corpus degree is enough to recognize the difference between intellectual self-confidence and intellectual capacity.

He began PMQs with an easy, teasing line about his rent control proposals: when would the PM “make the inevitable journey from saying that they represent dangerous Venezuelan-style thinking to saying that they are actually quite a good idea?”

The PM came back saying it was a Tory proposal all along, and that several senior Labour spokespeople had denounced the idea as unworkable, undesirable, impracticable, unsustainable.

Continue reading

PMQs LIVE: National Interest Test Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mel Stride (Central Devon)

Q2 Mr Andy Slaughter (Hammersmith) 

Q3 Joan Walley (Stoke-on-Trent North) 

Q4 Margot James (Stourbridge) 

Q5 Paul Burstow (Sutton and Cheam) 

Q6 Andrew Griffiths (Burton)

Q7 David Rutley (Macclesfield) 

Q8 Iain Stewart (Milton Keynes South) 

Q9 Neil Carmichael (Stroud) 

Q10 Chris White (Warwick and Leamington) 

Q11 Mr Simon Burns (Chelmsford)

Q12 Nic Dakin (SHunthorpe) 

Q13 Zac Goldsmith (Richmond Park)

Q14 Dr Julian Huppert (Cambridge) 

Q15 Mrs Emma Lewell-Buck (South Shields) 

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs SKETCH: What Did Axelrod Make of That?

“Guys, we’re going to need money. And a message. Attractive people would be good. Not you. Or you, you or you. And a leader, who’s the leader? You got a leader? The one down there now with the teeth and the finger jive? The eight-year-old? Okay, we’re going to need the army as well, does that work over here? Can we get the army? We’re going need the army.”

There are some out there hoping the American will make Ed Miliband into Obama. He made a start today. In the tributes to fallen troops he pronounced lieutenant as lootenant.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single stumble.

Oh, it’s a long way to go. Obama has a gift for elevated sentiments, if nothing else. That’s what got him into the White House. The audacity of soap. Big language. Soaring thoughts. Ed Miliband lacks the audacity of soap.

The Royal Mail sale, for instance. “Everything about this privatisation stinks,” he said. Stinks. Everything stinks. It’s the language of a disappointed child.

He had some debating points, including a joke – the man who ran the lucky hedge fund which got 20 times the shares of anyone else – he’d been George Osborne’s best man. How was it decided who got what?

It’s a good question, and would have gained purchase with a cool manner and forensic pauses. But Miliband prefers to go through his question-cycle in a fixed crescendo heading for his great climax: “Everything stinks.”

Continue reading

PMQs LIVE: Back to School Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mr Gareth Thomas (Harrow West)

Q2 Catherine McKinnell (Newcastle upon Tyne North) 

Q3 Siobhain McDonagh (Mitcham and Morden) 

Q4 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North) 

Q5 Mark Lazarowicz (Edinburgh North and Leith) 

Q6 Mrs Sharon Hodgson (Washington and Sunderland West)

Q7 Mark Hendrick (Preston) 

Q8 Mr Stewart Jackson (Peterborough)

Q9 Katy Clark (North Ayrshire and Arran) 

Q10 Sheila Gilmore (Edinburgh East)

Q11 Mr George Howarth (Knowsley) 

Q12 Charlotte Leslie (Bristol North West)

Q13 Jason McCartney (Colne Valley) 

Q14 Nadhim Zahawi (Stratford-on-Avon) 

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs SKETCH: Ed, the Final Victim of Miller’s Resignation

Six questions on Maria Miller’s resignation, or five questions and a peroration.

Is that what’s meant by “holding the Executive to account”? It’s just as well Recall isn’t in place, Ed’s feet wouldn’t touch the ground.

He fired five blanks, got two potshots off and finished with a summary of his discontent in four disjointed sentences. Viz:

1) “He just doesn’t get it.” (Did someone shout Bingo?)

2) “He needs to learn profound lessons about how he runs his Government.” (Does he? From this, the passing zephyr of an insignificant minister?)

3) “The Culture Secretary went not because of her bad conduct but because of her bad press.” (This must have been a line left over from the pre-PMQs planning session.)

4) “He promised in Opposition to be an apostle for better standards and he’s spent the last week being an apologist for unacceptable behaviour.” (It was the big line. Apostle/apologist. Ed put the ass in assonance.)

It wasn’t an easy topic, and while friends and foes will have different reactions, objective observers will agree the Leader of HM’s Opposition made a complete **** of himself. Too strong? A complete @£$% of himself.

Continue reading

PMQs LIVE: So Long, Farewell Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Nia Griffith (Llanelli)

Q2 Dr Alasdair McDonnell (Belfast South) 

Q3 Sir Peter Luff (Mid Worcestershire) 

Q4 Mr Andy Slaughter (Hammersmith) 

Q5 John Glen (Salisbury)

Q6 Simon Danczuk (Rochdale) 

Q7 Mr William Bain (Glasgow North East) 

Q8 James Morris (Halesowen and Rowley Regis) 

Q9 Naomi Long (Belfast East) 

Q10 Mrs Emma Lewell-Buck (South Shields) 

Q11 Paul Flynn (Newport West) 

Q12 Mark Pritchard (The Wrekin) 

Q13 Jenny Chapman (Darlington) 

Q14 Mr Mike Weir (Angus) 

Q15 Mr David Lammy (Tottenham)

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs SKETCH: Titanic Fights in the Commons

Cosy capitalism against Socialism, sir. Public versus private ownership. Primrose Hill versus the Playing Fields of Eton. Tax cuts versus the Collective. Labour bellowing versus Tory barrage.

My niche interest is the fight between Better Bercow and Bad Bercow.

The new iteration – I-Don’t-Hate-Tories – is a success. We should pay tribute to it, celebrate it rather than carp.

But Better Bercow can’t keep Bad Bercow in its kennel.

What must be going in that inner court of his, where he remonstrates with himself: “Your constant interruptions are just prolonging the proceedings. Your attention-seeking behaviour is childish, you need to grow up and the sooner the better. And the way you call Andrew Selous – the public detest it! Your electorate hate it! If you go on like this they’ll have you out after the next election!”

Good Bercow has been prevailing, but when provoked, Bad Bercow slips the leash.

We can thank Simon Burns for that. Or that corner where he sits with Alec Shelbrooke in a supporting role behind him. Anna Soubry, Tim Loughton and Keith Simpson, are all there or thereabouts, each of whom have had complex relations with the Speaker.

So, when Czaibhaggan MacDonagh fluffed her line about the “Bobby Tax”, it prompted heckling from the Burns Corner.

Out Bad Bercow slavered, fangs bared, to savage them as he only savages Tories: “Braying, and sneering and making rude remarks is the sort of thing the public despise!” he barked at them.

Continue reading

Muppet Miliband and Balls

“You know what Mr Speaker, I will take a lecture from almost anyone in the country about the sale of Royal Mail, but not from the two muppets who advised the last Chancellor on selling the gold.”

An attack lined […]

PMQs LIVE: Leadership Rumbles Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Jeremy Corbyn (Islington North)
Q2 Chloe Smith (Norwich North)
Q3 Anas Sarwar (Glasgow Central)
Q4 Mr Jamie Reed (Copeland)
Q5 David Rutley (Macclesfield)
Q6 Ms Gisela Stuart (Birmingham, Edgbaston)
Q7 Kate Hoey (Vauxhall)

[…]

PMQs SKETCH: Ed Enters Valley of Death

Reactions vary, but that looked to me like slaughter.

“A total demolition,” Ed Miliband said, and it was surely that.

His “energy price freeze” collapsed on itself like a factory chimney.

This morning, a power company announced it was holding […]

PMQs LIVE: Sniff Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Rosie Cooper (West Lancashire)

Q2 Stephen Pound (Ealing North) 

Q3 Derek Twigg (Halton) 

Q4 Jenny Chapman (Darlington) 

Q5 Mr Graham Brady (Altrincham and Sale West) 

Q6 Catherine McKinnell (Newcastle upon Tyne North) 

Q7 

[…]



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Adam Spiegel, producer of Nazi themed “The Producers” musical says…

“Margate seemed a perfect place to start the promotion. I’m disappointed but not entirely surprised to see that UKIP are trying to hitch a publicity ride on the back of the show.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Jenny Humiliates Natalie Jenny Humiliates Natalie
Senator Disproves climate change by lobbing snowball Senator Disproves climate change by lobbing snowball
GCHQ take tips from horror movie GCHQ take tips from horror movie
Happy International Polar Bear Day! Happy International Polar Bear Day!
Met Police Accuse Guido of “Collusion” With Press Gazette Met Police Accuse Guido of “Collusion” With Press Gazette
Miliband Speaks on #TheDress Miliband Speaks on #TheDress

Future of Journalism Update Future of Journalism Update
Hacked Off Rally Was Deeply Unpleasant Hacked Off Rally Was Deeply Unpleasant
Nazis Invade UKIP Conference Nazis Invade UKIP Conference
Farage on Course to Win Thanet Farage on Course to Win Thanet
Sadiq Khan Spoke at Jihad John Group Event Sadiq Khan Spoke at Jihad John Group Event
Government Blames Facebook for Lee Rigby Murder Government Blames Facebook for Lee Rigby Murder
The Hysteria of Hacked Off The Hysteria of Hacked Off
Simon Carr’s PMQs Sketch Simon Carr’s PMQs Sketch
Charity Fat Cats on £145,000 Charity Fat Cats on £145,000
Meet the Lesbian Tech Queen Meet the Lesbian Tech Queen
Balls on His Sexual Prowess Balls on His Sexual Prowess
Tory Candidates: EU Bad For Business Tory Candidates: EU Bad For Business
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,780 other followers