Wednesday, January 15, 2014

PMQs LIVE: Da Bankers Da Bonuses Edition

Comments in the comments please…

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Attack Dog Holiday

John Rentoul has been analysing the Miliband mantra to make PMQs all nice and fluffy:

“But something had changed. If I had been more observant, I would have noticed that Michael Dugher, the Labour noise machine, was not sitting in his usual place on the steps of the gangway next to the opposition front bench.”

If he had been more observant, Rentoul would have noticed that Michael Dugher has been Tweeting about being in Israel all week.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Sketch: Quiet Commons Helps Cameron


For once, our television screens broadcast a quiet, respectful, intelligent PMQs.

How the public detest it! My mailbag was full of disgusted members of the public complaining about the lack of passion, energy, class war, amusing abuse, animal noises, flying fruit, incarnadine faces and generalised, unspecific roaring.

“If aliens had landed in the middle of this and were told ‘This is how we hold our Government to account’ they’d say, ‘Bollocks you do! That’s just a bunch of kids pretending to be grown-ups!”

Some say the tenor was set by the death of popular Paul Goggins, announced this morning. There was mourning, condolence, fond memories, kind wishes. And this is how it should be, the decencies were observed. Though in my experience, the political reaction is “X has cancer. He’s dying.” “Oh no! That’s awful!” Beat. “What’s the majority?”

(more…)

Tories Deny PMQs Deal

A senior Tory pours cold water on the suggestion by Nick Robinson that today’s PMQs could have been the result of Ed and Dave agreeing to take PMQs down a notch or two after the rowdiness of the last year: “You brief people you want calmer, more dignified when you are losing.” That’s that then.

UPDATE: Ta da:

PMQs Live Chat: Boring Snoring Edition

Comments in the comments please…

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

GALLERY GUIDO PMQs SKETCH: Bercow’s Descendancy

“The booing and jeering from the Government benches at Bercow was as bad as I have ever known it,” a back bencher said. “And when Therese Coffey wished him and his family a happy Christmas, that got booed as well.”

It was quite a scene. When John McDonnell called the Prime Minister a liar – or was it “Lies! Lies! All lies!” as another witness had it – the Tories started to chant the only really offensive word in his Speaker’s lexicon. The word is “Order.”

“Order! Order!” they shouted. “ORDER!”

The English translation is: “You dirty, rotten, cheating, twisted little berk – you’ve ratted on all your colleagues, you’ve connived and conspired against one side of the House and sucked up to the other, you bend, bribe and bully decent people with your gifts and positions and quid pro quos, you’ve used the highest position in Parliament to puff your pompous little personality out of its skin, your language is ridiculous, your snobbery is disgusting, your megalomania is obvious, your taut, fake smile is completely unconvincing, and you do not deserve our respectful goodwill a moment longer!”

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PMQs Live Chat: Christmas Jeer Edition

Comments in the comments please…

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

GALLERY GUIDO PMQs SKETCH: Balls Crushed

No howling, no animal noises, no Brueghel peasant carnival atmosphere. It was PMQs but not as we know it. The almost orderly session revealed several new dynamics on the floor of the House.

Ed Balls seems to have been crushed. “Red Ed and redder Ed,” the PM laughed, recalling the pulsing flush that suffused the shadow chancellor last week. And then, more bruisingly,“The autumn statement proved one thing. He can dish it out, but he can’t take it!”

True, the shadow chancellor’s hand gestures were so poor he couldn’t have got a job at Nelson Mandela’s funeral. The downward pointing finger was picked up by Cameron – that’s the only direction the Balls career is going.

That’s what caused a little too much visible pleasure in the Opposition leader.

(more…)

PMQs Live Chat: Selfie Respect Edition

Comments in the comments please…

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

SKETCH: PMQs Parliamentary Outreach Programme

With the Prime Minister in China, PMQs was run to a new format.

Hon. Member: Question Number 1, Mr Speaker.

Russell Brand: I’ve been asked to reply.

(Prolonged cheers. Animal noises. A klaxon. A row of minor parties stand up wearing one communal 14-foot moustache to raise awareness for Displaced Syrian Children with Prostate Cancer. Some banner-waving and a fist-fight. An hon. Member plays a trumpet.)

Mr Brand: Okay, I’m reading this off the card. ‘This morning I had meetings with ministerial colleagues’ – actually some really bizarre people I wouldn’t wish on anyone. There was literally a man there in black tights and a, like, medieval waistcoat – there he is there sitting at the table. ARRGGHH!!!! He really is there, is he? I thought I was back on crack.

(more…)


Seen Elsewhere

Ruffley Told to Consider Position | BBC
LibDem MP in Israel Twitter Row | Sky News
Ward Faces Disciplinary Action | Guardian
I’m Scared to Talk About Israel and Gaza | Emma Barnett
Sack David Ward | LibDem Voice
David Ward Condemned for Rocket Support | BBC
LibDem MP Backs Rocket Attacks | Indy
LibDem MP: I Would Bomb Israel | ITV
A Bold Plan to Reform Welfare | Ruth Porter
Clinton’s Busty Mistress Nicknamed ‘Energizer’ | Mail
Photo Analysis of Miliband’s Obama Visit | Buzzfeed


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Owen Paterson lifts the lid on the Green Blob:

“I received more death threats in a few months at Defra than I ever did as secretary of state for Northern Ireland.”



Flight Watch says:

Russia Today is a cauldron of bullsh*t. The only people that take it seriously are deluded conspiracy theorists. Other RT journos have resigned citing the same reasons.

It’s about as believable as Press TV, KCNA of North Korea or the Daily Mirror.


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