PMQs SKETCH: Corbyn Goes From Angry Chicken to Sick Chicken

simon

The stare isn’t going so well suddenly. It never worked, it only seemed to, with the Tories falling back in embarrassment. Corbyn read this as bullies being struck with silent wonder at the sight of proper, grown-up politics.

No, it was the reaction of an audience seeing an actor forgetting his lines, or a juggler dropping the ball, or a magician letting the cards fall out of his sleeve.

Tories weren’t able to barrack and wince at the same time.

But they’ve learnt. They have evolved. Today, they overcame their instinctive delicacy and resumed normal service.

And Corbyn went from Angry Chicken to Sick Chicken. Starting to speak, then stopping. Glaring, but getting confused by laughter and not-glaring. Glancing at the Speaker. No help there. Starting to speak again and having to continue through Tories shushing each other.

This chicken dies in the end.

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No Marx For Dave’s Commie Gag

“Look at his appointments. His media adviser is a Stalinist. His new policy adviser is a Trotskyist. And his economic adviser is a communist. If he’s trying to move the Labour Party to the left, I’d give him full Marx.”

Incidentally, who is the communist economics adviser?

UPDATE:  Not the full Marx after all:

PMQs: Who Is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Craig Tracey (North Warwickshire)

Q2 Fiona Mactaggart (Slough) 

Q3 Nigel Huddleston (Mid Worcestershire) 

Q4 Mr David Anderson (Blaydon) 

Q5 Dr James Davies (Vale of Clwyd) 

Q6 Damian Collins (Folkestone and Hythe)

Q7 Gordon Marsden (Blackpool South) 

Q8 Diana Johnson (Kingston upon Hull North) 

Q9 Stephen Metcalfe (South Basildon and East Thurrock) 

Q10 John Nicolson (East Dunbartonshire) 

Q11 Paul Flynn (Newport West) 

Q12 Mrs Anne-Marie Trevelyan (Berwick-upon-Tweed)

Q13 Kevin Hollinrake (Thirsk and Malton) 

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs SKETCH: Corbyn’s Chicken Death Stare

simon

People say he’s not doing too badly, and he’s not doing too badly for an old man in a pub, for a clapped-out author wearying a school assembly, for a hero of the previous revolution but one (second class).

He’s obviously pleased with his “death stare”. When Tories barrack him (and they really haven’t started) he stops and stares at them in a way that chickens stop and stare at things. Eventually circumstances change and the chicken goes back to its pecking. The whips have told Tories not to be too nasty to Corbyn so they quieten down. He mistakes correlation for causation.

The poor old piece of poultry, he’s not just second-rate but secondhand, reusing the failed tropes of failed leaders for the past 15 years. “This is Prime Minister’s QUESTIONS”, and I’ve asked the same question five times, and (quoting one sort of Tory) “Why did he say that?”, and (quoting another sort) “Where was she wrong?”

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Will Corbyn Wear Poppy at PMQs?

The PM has been wearing a poppy for a week, though Corbyn has yet to be spotted with one. He was ambiguous when asked about wearing a poppy at first, Labour HQ later clarified that he would. The Royal British Legion say it is appropriate to wear a poppy from the launch date of the poppy appeal, which this year was 22 October. All eyes on Jezza’s lapel…

UPDATE: Here he is:

PMQs Live: Who Is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Stephen Metcalfe (South Basildon and East Thurrock)

Q2 David Morris (Morecambe and Lunesdale) 

Q3 Mrs Sharon Hodgson (Washington and Sunderland West)

Q4 Mark Pawsey (Rugby) 

Q5 Kirsty Blackman (Aberdeen North) 

Q6 Stephen Phillips (Sleaford and North Hykeham) 

Q7 Michelle Donelan (Chippenham) 

Q8 Graham Evans (Weaver Vale) 

Q9 Amanda Solloway (Derby North)

Q10 Christopher Pincher (Tamworth) 

Q11 Ian C. Lucas (Wrexham) 

Q12 Mark Durkan (Foyle) 

Q13 Mr Andrew Turner (Isle of Wight) 

Q14 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield)

Q15 Sir Simon Burns (Chelmsford) 

Comments in the comments…

PMQs SKETCH: Corbyn’s Vogue Levels of Virtue-Signalling

He’s doing it deliberately, isn’t he? The twisted tie and splayed collar and that ghaaaaastly coat and shirt combination. The vanity of being above appearances. The Labour leader is manifesting Vogue levels of virtue-signalling in his dress.

Then all that rubbish about the “very sad news” of having a United Nations committee coming over to investigate the human rights of the disabled. It was “deeply embarrassing”, he said. Cameron classified that as left-wing cack and that proper Britons couldn’t give two flying fingers for a UN committee (I translate). The miserablisation of Labour continues.

Still, Corbyn’s better than Miliband. And better than the next leader (as long that’s Eddie Izzard).

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Bercow Bans PMQ on Green Taxes

The Speaker’s bad temper continued at PMQs, where he bizarrely banned Tory MP Chris Philp from asking, entirely reasonably, if green taxes have contributed to the steel industry crisis. Curiously, Bercow ruled this had “nothing to do with government policy” and prevented the PM from answering:

Except, it demonstrably does. The Telegraph, Mail and even the Wall Street Journal have all run articles this week about how green taxes have impacted on the steel industry. The PM was unimpressed. That’s two weeks in a row that Cameron been prevented from landing a blow by the Speaker…

PMQs Live: Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Susan Elan Jones 

Q2 Mr David Burrowes (Enfield, Southgate) 

Q3 Jo Stevens (Cardiff Central) 

Q4 Anne McLaughlin (Glasgow North East) 

Q5 Andrea Jenkyns (Morley and Outwood) 

Q6 Mr David Jones (Clwyd West) 

Q7 Ian Mearns (Gateshead) 

Q8 Martyn Day (Linlithgow and East Falkirk) 

Q9 Patricia Gibson (North Ayrshire and Arran) 

Q10 Julie Elliott (Sunderland Central) 

Q11 Anna Turley (Redcar) 

Q12 Neil Carmichael (Stroud) 

Q13 Iain Stewart (Milton Keynes South) 

Q14 Andrew Rosindell (Romford) 

Q15 Nic Dakin (Scunthorpe) 

Comments in the comments please…[…]

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PMQs SKETCH: Cameron Went Easy on Corbyn

He was twice as good as last time. Let’s not argue about it. He’s in his late sixties. At this rate of improvement Jeremy Corbyn will be dead before he wins an election. Britain’s first posthumous prime minister – a great progressive victory for Labour.[…]

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Best of Corbyn at PMQs

Here are Corbyn’s PMQs highlights as we saw a sassier side to the Labour leader:

Thug life edition…[…]

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Cameron v Bercow: “Hold on a Second!”

Bercow was determined not to let Corbyn’s calm and well-behaved PMQs reduce his telly time. The PM threw out his arms in protest and cried “Hold on a second!” as the Speaker interrputed his best line of the day:

Quite a stare at the end…[…]

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PMQs LIVE: Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Dr Lisa Cameron (East Kilbride, Strathaven and Lesmahagow)

Q2 Callum McCaig (Aberdeen South) 

Q3 Karl McCartney (Lincoln) 

Q4 Kit Malthouse (North West Hampshire) 

Q5 Nigel Huddleston (Mid Worcestershire) 

Q6 Tom Pursglove (Corby)

Q7 Victoria Prentis (Banbury) 

Q8 Holly Lynch (Halifax) 

Q9 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West) 

Q10 Mr Jim Cunningham (Coventry South) 

Q11 Cat Smith (Lancaster and Fleetwood)

Q12 Andrew Griffiths (Burton) 

Q13 Mrs Cheryl Gillan (Chesham and Amersham) 

Q14 Liz McInnes (Heywood and Middleton) 

Q15 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw) 

Comments in the comments please…[…]

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Sketch: Cameron is Doing What Blair Did to IDS

No, no, no, that wasn’t quite good, or a refreshing change, or a worthy start, or not-as-bad-as-it-might-have-been. That was the finishing whimper of a once-powerful party. That was worse than Ed Miliband’s first PMQs. It was as bad as late-Miliband’s “I met Nigel, a nurse from Nottingham.”

Dressed in the 1970s, looking old, wading to the despatch box through a vision of immiserated Britain – mental health cuts, in-work benefit cuts, rent cuts, job losses – Corbyn gave us a comprehensive tour of his constituency.[…]

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Cameron: IRA Sympathisers Should Be Ashamed

It took until the penultimate question, but PMQs finally came to life when DUP MP Nigel Dodds stood up and lambasted newly appointed  Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell for his views on the IRA. The labour benches listened in silence…

“The oppositions leader has appointed a Shadow Chancellor who believes terrorists should be honoured for their bravery, will the Prime Minister join with all of us on all sides of this house in denouncing that sentiment and standing with us on behalf of the innocent victims and for the bravery of our armed forces who stood against the terrorist?”

Cameron responded by saying “people who seek to justify” the actions of the IRA “should be ashamed of themselves“.[…]

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PMQs LIVE: Who is Asking the Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Gordon Henderson (Sittingbourne and Sheppey)
Q2 Mr Ronnie Campbell (Blyth Valley)
Q3 Kate Hollern (Blackburn)
Q4 Daniel Zeichner (Cambridge)
Q5 Julian Knight (Solihull)
Q6 Michael Tomlinson (Mid Dorset and North Poole)
Q7 Mrs Sharon Hodgson (Washington and Sunderland West)
Q8 Tom Blenkinsop (Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland)
Q9 Graham Evans (Weaver Vale)
Q10 Andrew Griffiths (Burton)
Q11 Maggie Throup (Erewash)
Q12 Steven Paterson (Stirling)
Q13 Kevin Hollinrake (Thirsk and Malton)
Q14 Tom Pursglove (Corby)
Q15 Mr Andrew Turner (Isle of Wight)

Comments in the comments please…[…]

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Heather Wheeler talks to Burton Mail about her tweet…

“It was a tongue in cheek pop after the European Parliament tweet – it was purely that. I also wanted to congratulate Team GB on a brilliant result and thirdly congratulate the Commonwealth countries who also did very well. Fourth, I am also looking forwarded to establishing new trade agreements. That was it – nothing more. Let’s just enjoy the summer!”

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