PMQs SKETCH: Labour’s Criminals in Downing Street

Ed Miliband achieved the impossible today. He finished his J’Accuse an even more diminished leader than when he began.

Weak, weak, weak! The Tories chanted. “I’ll tell you what’s weak,” Ed said weakly, “it’s failing to stand up for the right thing.”

Cameron’s definition of weak was more detailed: “Attacking Rupert Murdoch, posing with a copy of the Sun and then apologising for it! That’s weak!”

And then, of course, Alastair Campbell, Jo Moore and Damian McBride.

Ed’s lead-line, his headline, his top line was: “You brought a criminal into Downing Street.”

It’s not a bad line, in fact. It’s nasty. It resonates at a childhood level of right and wrong. And it’s sinister.

But then, but then . . . Criminals in Downing Street.

Ed himself has an adviser publicly accused of Class A drug use. His predecessors, as Cameron pointed out, have a variety of real victims to their account. From David Kelly to the Paddington rail crash survivors to Conservative MPs to half a million Iraqis…

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Labour Sorry for Hospitalised MP Wife Attack

“Jake Berry, absent” cried the Speaker as the Tory MP for Rossendale and Darwen, whose name was on the Order Paper for PMQs, failed to appear when called to ask his question. Cue Labour whips piling in and living to regret it about three minutes later:

They have since sent him a full and frank apology. Awkward.

WATCH: Cameron v Miliband PMQs Clash in Full

The full exchange between Cameron and Miliband at today’s PMQs. If Ed can’t draw blood today, he never will…

Miliband’s Kinnock/Westland Moment

You can see the very moment that Ed realised he lost today’s potentially game changing moment in the House. A confident Cameron, armed with the Leveson report quotes, got his apology out early, before Ed could call for it. Just look at his face in reaction to the PM’s gag about Ed standing up to Murdoch, posing with the Sun and ultimately weakly apologising. Video to follow…

UPDATE: Video of the moment Ed knew he had lost it:

UPDATE II: In GIF form:

PMQs LIVE: One Rogue Editor Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Damian Collins (Folkestone and Hythe)

Q2 Jake Berry (Rossendale and Darwen) 

Q3 Mr Nigel Evans (Ribble Valley)

Q4 Mr Ronnie Campbell (Blyth Valley)

Q5 Mark Durkan (Foyle) 

Q6 Chris Bryant (Rhondda)

Q7 Meg Hillier (Hackney South and Shoreditch) 

Q8 David Simpson (Upper Bann) 

Q9 Guy Opperman (Hexham)

Q10 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle) 

Q11 Annette Brooke (Mid Dorset and North Poole)

Q12 Mr David Winnick (Walsall North) 

Q13 Mr Gerry Sutcliffe (Bradford South) 

Q14 Yasmin Qureshi (Bolton South East) 

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs SKETCH: Impeachment Edition

In a voice created by God to call for the impeachment of a former prime minister, Peter Tapsell called for the impeachment of Tony Blair. To bring the wretch to account for misleading the House of Commons.

Many Labour MPs want to impeach Ed Miliband for misleading the Labour party. Or, as now, for failing to lead it at all.

Today he stood up to the despatch box with a luxurious choice of Conservative crimes and misdemeanours to go on. Passport mayhem, euro-uselessness, cabinet carnage, dying children (there must be some somewhere).

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WATCH: Dave Goes Down Fighting on Juncker

BB: “How is his campaign going to stop Mr Juncker?”

[LAUGHS]

DC: “It’s a simple issue of principle, much more connected to the principle than the name. The principle is this –  and I think it will be shared on every side of the House – that the members of the European Council, the elected Prime Ministers and the elected Presidents, under the treaties, we should choose who runs the European Commission. And I don’t mind how many people on the European Council disagree with me, I will fight this right to the very end. And what I would say to my colleagues on the European Council, many of whom have expressed interesting views about both this principle and this person, if you want reform in Europe you’ve got to stand up for it, if you want change in Europe you’ve got to vote for it. That is the message I will take, and that is the right message for our country.”

Warning other EU leaders to do in public what they are saying about Juncker in private…

PMQs Live: Don’t Mention the War Edition

Q1 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West)

Q2 Richard Harrington (Watford)

Q3 Charlotte Leslie (Bristol North West) 

Q4 Mr Nick Raynsford (Greenwich and Woolwich)

Q5 Dr Matthew Offord (Hendon)

Q6 Mr Nicholas Brown (Newcastle upon Tyne East)

Q7 Sarah Newton (Truro and Falmouth) 

Q8 Rehman Chishti (Gillingham and Rainham) 

Q9 Ian Swales (Redcar) 

Q10 Mr David Nuttall (Bury North) 

Q11 Mrs Mary Glindon (North Tyneside)

Q12 Priti Patel (Witham)

Q13 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield) 

Q14 Miss Anne McIntosh (Thirsk and Malton)

Q15 Mr Tom Clarke (Coatbridge, Chryston and Bellshill) 

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs LIVE: Tory Wars Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Katy Clark (North Ayrshire and Arran)

Q2 Mr Barry Sheerman (Huddersfield)

Q3 Graham Evans (Weaver Vale) 

Q4 Chris Skidmore (Kingswood) 

Q5 Ian Lavery (Wansbeck) 

Q6 Dr Alan Whitehead (Southampton, Test)

Q7 Jason McCartney

[…]

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PMQs SKETCH: Miliband a Bit Intellectually Over-Confident

So, how did that go for your man?

A Labour MP: “Actually good, from where I was sitting. Confident. Picked the right issues. Gave as good as he got.”

“Off the record and seriously?”

“Kicked all over the pitch. And […]

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PMQs LIVE: Save Ed Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Jonathan Edwards (Carmarthen East and Dinefwr)

Q2 Iain McKenzie (Inverclyde) 

Q3 Stephen McPartland (Stevenage) 

Q4 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

Q5 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West) 

Q6 Andrew Selous (South West Bedfordshire) 

Q7

[…]

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PMQs SKETCH: Self-Confident Ed Lacking Intellectual Capacity

The self-confidence of Ed Miliband is other-worldly. So other-worldly that broadcasting it, he feels, makes him more electable.

Between him and Cameron, he told the Standard, “I am the one with much more intellectual self-confidence, actually.” (‘Actually’!)

How then […]

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Liz Kendall at the Press Gallery lunch:

“We lost our shadow chancellor, but most people thought we had lost our balls before the election.”

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