PMQs SKETCH: No Doctor in the House

gallery-guido

Today was the day the Shadow Chancellor’s influence on his leader made itself known. After Prime Minister’s Questions, MPs, journalists and viewers were scratching their head at Jeremy Corbyn’s failure to mention the junior doctor’s strike even in passing. Such an open goal, you might think, given the government’s difficulties on this one.

But no, not a sausage. The reason lies with recently reported comments by John McDonnell that from now on, in principle, every single strike will be officially supported by the Labour Party.

Corbyn clearly decided he didn’t want to give the PM the opportunity to give Labour a kicking over a needless foot-in-mouth gaffe. At least, not again.

So instead the man recently described not so much as a Leader of the Opposition as a bloke who runs a second hand camera shop went on the subject of housing. How dare the PM suggest that life on a sink estate was anything other than marvelous, what with all the community spirit and solidarity you can find dumped next to the old sofas and the dog crap? “We’ve built more houses than the previous Labour government!” Dave responded triumphantly. But in this he fails to understand his opponent. Corbyn is no more likely to defend the record of the last Labour government than Cameron is. You could almost see Corbyn shrug as if to say, “Well, there’s a surprise…” Continue reading

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Bill Esterson (Sefton Central)

Q2 Andrew Griffiths (Burton)

Q3 Tommy Sheppard (Edinburgh East)

Q4 Barbara Keeley (Worsley and Eccles South)

Q5 Oliver Dowden (Hertsmere)

Q6 Gordon Henderson (Sittingbourne and Sheppey)

Q7 Dr Tania Mathias (Twickenham) 

Q8 Dr Phillip Lee (Bracknell) 

Q9 Seema Kennedy (South Ribble) 

Q10 Dan Jarvis (Barnsley Central) 

Q11 Paul Blomfield (Sheffield Central)

Q12 Andrew Bridgen (North West Leicestershire) 

Q13 James Cartlidge (South Suffolk) 

Q14 Mrs Sharon Hodgson (Washington and Sunderland West) 

Comments in the comments please…

Ask Jez: Why Could Labour Be Fined Up To £500,000?

Lab Comms

Jeremy Corbyn has revolutionised PMQs by outsourcing his questions to members of the public. Voters are able to send in their question by supplying their email address and filling out an online form with their suggestions. Guido would like to remind everyone to use this form responsibly…

Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear Labour have complied with the regulations laid out by the Information Commissioners Office’s on online communications, with the ICO stipulating that there must be an opt-out option for receiving future e-mail communications from the party. This option is noticeably absent on Labour’s forms. Fines for such breaches can run up to £500,000…

PMQs SKETCH: Full Fathom Five Labour’s Leader Lies

gallery-guido

Be not afeard; the House is full of noises. Given the recent floods, the Prime Minister avoided quoting The Tempest as the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare’s death was expropriated to ridicule the Shadow Cabinet reshuffle omnishambles: “It looked like this reshuffle could go into its Twelth Night.” “A comedy of errors!” “Much ado about nothing!” “Love’s Labour’s Lost!”.

There had clearly been advanced planning. The Shakespeare question came from the friendly backbench MP for Stratford-upon-Avon, Nadhim Zahawi, who commended “our greatest living bard”. (Eh?) It’s customary to groan at the crassness of the jokes, but a more sophisticated version would not really work. Sir Bruce Forsyth enjoys watching PMQs regarding it as “pure vaudeville”. I find it oddly comforting that senior Downing Street operatives will have spent this morning deliberating over Shakespearean puns.

Continue reading

From Bard To Worse: PM’s Terrible Shakespeare Gags

Don’t think Eton boy Dave is giving his Harrow rival Benedict Cumberbatch a run for his money just yet…

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Karen Lumley (Redditch)

Q2 Anna Turley (Redcar)

Q3 Clive Efford (Eltham)

Q4 Caroline Lucas (Brighton, Pavilion)

Q5 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West)

Q6 Nadhim Zahawi (Stratford-on-Avon)

Q7 Mr George Howarth (Knowsley)

Q8 Debbie Abrahams (Oldham East and Saddleworth)

Q9 Chris Green (Bolton West)

Q10 Simon Hart (Carmarthen West and South Pembrokeshire)

Q11 Mike Kane (Wythenshawe and Sale East)

Q12 Jim Dowd (Lewisham West and Penge)

Q13 Seema Kennedy (South Ribble)

Q14 Mr Gavin Shuker (Luton South)

Q15 Grahame Morris (Easington)

Comments in the comments…

PMQs Sketch: Dennis “Tyson Fury” Skinner Heckles PM

simon“A f***ing Happy C***mas to you, you c***-foombling, fist-f***ing, f***-fest!”. 

So shouted Dennis Skinner to the Prime Minister, in rowdy Commons scenes just now. (Reported dialogue may not represent actual words actually used.) The Speaker had lost control of proceedings and the Commons abandoned itself to South Korean scenes. Even inside the chamber it wasn’t possible to hear what it was old Tyson Fury Skinner was yelling but people did think there was an outside chance he might cross the floor and lamp the leader of Her Majesty’s Government.

The session had started promisingly with Jeremy Corbyn congratulating Major Tim on his space journey and saying, “He may not be on this planet.”There may have been a joke in there he was trying to get out, but he gave up gracefully went into five questions on forecasting increasing funding pressure on social care cuts in the shortfall of the Autumn statement’s confederation piling more pressure on the forecasts of social care.

Continue reading

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Richard Graham (Gloucester)

Q2 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn)

Q3 Callum McCaig (Aberdeen South)

Q4 Alison Thewliss (Glasgow Central)

Q5 Mrs Anne-Marie Trevelyan (Berwick-upon-Tweed) 

Q6 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q7 Mark Pawsey (Rugby) 

Q8 Ms Gisela Stuart (Birmingham, Edgbaston)

Q9 Mr Douglas Carswell (Clacton) 

Q10 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty) 

Q11 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw) 

Q12 Mr Ranil Jayawardena (North East Hampshire) 

Q13 Fiona Bruce (Congleton) 

Q14 Danny Kinahan (South Antrim) 

Q15 Oliver Dowden (Hertsmere) 

Comments in the comments…

PMQs Sketch: Osborne Red-Faced and Shouty v Rock Star Angela

simon

She got a rock star’s welcome, in her spangling tank top and cutaway jacket. With the best hair of her career Angela Eagle looked a million dollars. US dollars, too, none of that Hong Kong rubbish.

Poor old Corbyn looks like a homeless person in comparison.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Best of Angela Eagle at PMQs

The Eagle has landed blow after blow on George Osborne at a gag-tastic PMQs:

[…]

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PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Dave is in Europe so it’s Osborne versus Angela Eagle today:

Q1 Richard Burden (Birmingham, Northfield)

Q2 Mr David Burrowes (Enfield, Southgate) 

Q3 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton) 

Q4 Caroline Nokes (Romsey and Southampton North) 

Q5 Steve Brine (Winchester)

Q6 Alison Thewliss (Glasgow Central)

Q7 Dr Philippa Whitford (Central Ayrshire) 

Q8 Gavin Newlands (Paisley and Renfrewshire North) 

Q9 Daniel Zeichner (Cambridge) 

Q10 Alison McGovern (Wirral South) 

Q11 Stephen Timms (East Ham) 

Q12 Karl McCartney (Lincoln) 

Q13 Ian Mearns (Gateshead) 

Q14 Wendy Morton (Aldridge-Brownhills) 

Q15 Mr Alan Mak (Havant) 

Comments in the comments…[…]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs Sketch: Chamberlain Would Have Felt Like a War-Monger

simon

Let the history books show that on the brink of World War III, with a Russian jet shot down by NATO, terror threats against national leaders, the EU capital in lockdown, an apocalypse promised on the plain of Dabiq by 30,000 death-loving jihadis – the Leader of the Opposition questioned the Prime minister on subsidies to solar panels.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Meet Corbyn’s Pals: Ziggy, Israel and Jay

Guido was intrigued to hear Corbyn mention Israel positively, asking a question from Ziggy, Israel and Jay in PMQs today. Having done a bit of digging, we can reveal that Jezza neglected to mention that they are environmental activists affiliated with Friends of The Earth.[…]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Fiona Bruce (Congleton)

Q2 Margaret Ferrier (Rutherglen and Hamilton West)

Q3 Emily Thornberry (Islington South and Finsbury)

Q4 Maria Caulfield (Lewes)

Q5 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn)

Q6 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q7Caroline Flint (Don Valley)

Q8 Robert Jenrick (Newark)

Q9 Imran Hussain (Bradford East)

Q10 Steve Double (St Austell and Newquay)

Q11 Mr Jim Cunningham (Coventry South) 

Q12 Stewart McDonald (Glasgow South) 

Q13 Graham Stuart (Beverley and Holderness) 

Q14 Mark Garnier (Wyre Forest) 

Q15 Ms Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh (Ochil and South Perthshire) 

 Comments in the comments…[…]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs SKETCH: Captive Corbyn’s Coded Message

simon

Poor old Jeremy, he looked like a hostage in front of the camera reading in a detached, formal, unconvinced way the statement prepared by his captors.

He had to say something or they’d have cut his head off at the next PLP.[…]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Gordon Marsden (Blackpool South)

Q2 Andrew Rosindell (Romford) 

Q3 Gareth Johnson (Dartford) 

Q4 Phil Wilson (Sedgefield)

Q5 Andy McDonald (Middlesbrough) 

Q6 John Mann (Bassetlaw) 

Q7 Richard Fuller (Bedford) 

Q8 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn) 

Q9 Imran Hussain (Bradford East) 

Q10 Mr Graham Brady (Altrincham and Sale West)

Q11 Jonathan Reynolds (Stalybridge and Hyde) 

Q12 Craig Tracey (North Warwickshire)

Q13 Jesse Norman (Hereford and South Herefordshire) 

Q14 Jack Lopresti (Filton and Bradley Stoke)

Q15 Yvonne Fovargue (Makerfield)

Comments in the comments…[…]

+ READ MORE +



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