Corbyn Gets His New Politics At Last

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Jeremy Corbyn managed – just – to find someone to sit next to him. He didn’t talk to Tom Watson (who’s gamely riding out the worst post-Glasto comedown conceivable), instead turning his head towards the less dangerous Kate Osamor. He then exchanged a few words with the surely harmless Clive Lewis, and some more with Dennis Skinner. Watson was blanked.

It’s times like this that one thinks of Tony Benn’s take on the Labour Party. The party, philosophised Benn, is like a bird, dependent on both its two wings to fly. The similarities don’t stop there. Both tend to migrate to second homes in sunnier climes over summer, living in comfortable nests far above the general population. And of course both have a tendency to crap on the British public from a great height. But I digress, Benn’s point stands, and right now those two wings couldn’t be further apart.

The Prime Minister’s frontbench was little better. The Chancellor, who has visibly aged by about twelve years since the Referendum result came in, opted to sit this one out having made two whole public appearances since Thursday. Squirrelled away in Number 11, George must have spent the time being consoled by the finest Peruvian imports (a last hurrah before it became an even more costly pastime with the pound crashing).

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Corbynistas Weaponise Cameron

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Pro-Corbyn supporters are jumping on Cameron’s call for Corbyn to goDave looked like he was being sincere but has he made it harder for Labour to get rid?

Ed Miliband has now called for Corbyn to go – no Shadow Cabinet job for him then. Momentum have curiously cancelled their “Keep Corbyn” event tonight “due to overwhelming demand”, which is odd. The manoeuvring John McDonnell meanwhile has a “major” speech lined up for Friday morning. Team Corbyn are under no illusions what that means…

PM to Corbyn: “For Heaven’s Sake Man, Go!”

Ouch…

PMQs: Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Mr Alistair Carmichael (Orkney and Shetland)

Q2 Justin Madders (Ellesmere Port and Neston)

Q3 Stephen Metcalfe (South Basildon and East Thurrock)

Q4 Alex Salmond (Gordon)

Q5 Mr Douglas Carswell (Clacton)

Q6 Mike Gapes (Ilford South)

Q7 Nick Thomas-Symonds (Torfaen)

Q8 Jeremy Quin (Horsham)

Q9 Paul Blomfield (Sheffield Central)

Q10 Simon Danczuk (Rochdale)

Q11 Jake Berry (Rossendale and Darwen)

Q12 Jim Shannon (Strangford)

Q13 Neil Gray (Airdrie and Shotts)

Comments in the comments please…

SKETCH: Cameron’s Last PMQs?

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Outside, a 35-strong fleet of Brexit-backing fishing boats sailed past with Nigel Farage at the helm. The only parallel that springs to mind is the Raid on the Medway during the Second Anglo-Dutch War of 1667 (also in June). Then, Dutch vessels launched a daring campaign that would pave the first steps for the overthrow of King James II. A year later the Bill of Rights was enshrined ensuring the sovereignty of Parliament and an end to its subjugation by overbearing despots, intent on imposing laws on a servile populace. Well, if it worked for them…

Inside, Jeremy Corbyn started poorly and somehow managed to get even worse. The Labour leader wasted his six questions, opting for a scattergun approach that included the posting of workers directive (yes, again, and no, we still don’t care), phone-hacking (for those nostalgic for 2011), having a dig at Boris and Gove (obviously something that would appeal to the PM) and fishing quotas (the sort of subject that really gets your wavering voter going). Corbyn finally managed to get on to the EU referendum in his sixth and final question. “With just eight days to go before the referendum”, he began to uproarious cheers from the Tory benches, “the Labour position is that we are going to be voting to Remain because we believe it is the best way to protect families, protect jobs and protect public services”. Not exactly “I have a dream…” but at least he set out the “Labour position” (although some will have noticed he declined to elaborate on his own position).

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Corbyn Will Block Osborne’s Dead Cat Budget

“We would oppose any post-Brexit austerity budget, just as we have opposed any austerity budget proposed by this government.” It ain’t gonna happen…

Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Peter Aldous (Waveney)

Q2 Mr George Howarth (Knowsley)

Q3 Amanda Solloway (Derby North)

Q4 Mike Freer (Finchley and Golders Green)

Q5 Mr Alan Mak (Havant)

Q6 Roger Mullin (Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath)

Q7 Carolyn Harris (Swansea East)

Q8 Mr David Nuttall (Bury North)

Q9 Kelly Tolhurst (Rochester and Strood)

Q10 Robert Jenrick (Newark)

Q11 Huw Merriman (Bexhill and Battle)

Q12 Ruth Smeeth (Stoke-on-Trent North)

Q13 Jack Lopresti (Filton and Bradley Stoke)

Q14 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty)

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs Bout: Not the Greatest, Not a Thriller

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It’s all gone a bit Pete Tong for the PM. It turns out lining up every global leader, trade envoy and financier from Canary Wharf to Chongqing to warn the serfs to vote Remain on threat of nuclear apocalypse wasn’t actually the best idea. Who’d have thought it? People voting in a referendum on global elites don’t want to listen to those same global elites telling them which way to vote. How very bizarre!

Luckily for the Leave camp, master political strategist David Cameron is so comprehensively divorced from any semblance of normality that he doesn’t realise this, and will continue treating the British people like benighted little peasants who need to sit down and listen to what the clever dignitaries and technocrats tell them. In fact, unwittingly, the red-faced ex-Buller boy is one of the Leave campaign’s single biggest assets.

And so onto proceedings. As is apparently the fashion these days, the Leader of the Opposition kicked things off by offering his solemn condolences to the fallen celebrities of the past week. Today that honour was bestowed upon Muhammad Ali, eulogised by Corbyn as “the greatest in his chosen field” (that “chosen field” being battering another man’s skull in until he loses consciousness). Those initially shocked at the Labour leader’s seeming admiration for Ali’s proficiency in bloodsports will have been reassured when he went on to praise his “courageous campaigning on civil rights, anti-racism and peace”. Mr. Corbyn noticeably skipped over the fact that Ali was a firm believer that a woman’s place was at home and avowedly against interracial relationships (for which he deemed death to be a suitable punishment). On top of that he wasn’t too keen on the Jews, although I’m not sure that would bother Jeremy all that much. Continue reading

PM Laughs Off Leadership Challenge

The PM batted off a question from the SNP’s Stephen Gethins at PMQs: “The time to reflect on your mistakes is clearly when you’re close to the end of your time in office, so that doesn’t apply.” The third time Cameron’s leadership post-Brexit has been called into question over the last week.[…]

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Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Mims Davies (Eastleigh)

Q2 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q3 Ann Clwyd (Cynon Valley)

Q4 Alan Brown (Kilmarnock and Loudoun)

Q5 Mark Spencer (Sherwood)

Q6 Helen Goodman (Bishop Auckland)

Q7 Steven Paterson (Stirling)

Q8 Matthew Pennycook (Greenwich and Woolwich)

Q9 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton)

Q10 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q11 Craig Mackinlay (South Thanet)

Q12 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

Q13 Stephen Kinnock (Aberavon)

Q14 Neil Carmichael (Stroud)

Q15 Stephen Gethins (North East Fife)

Comments in the comments please…[…]

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Ozbot versus Androgenoid

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David Cameron couldn’t make PMQs today having had a busy week buying a new motor for his missus. The vehicle in question was a clapped out 2004 Nissan Micra with 90,000 miles on the clock – in Tory blue of course – for which he shelled out the princely sum of £1,500 (two seconds on AutoTrader would have revealed similar mileage models regularly go for half that price).[…]

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Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Maria Caulfield (Lewes)

Q2 Stephen Pound (Ealing North)

Q3 Tom Blenkinsop (Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland)

Q4 Cat Smith (Lancaster and Fleetwood)

Q5 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q6 Philip Davies (Shipley)

Q7 Patrick Grady (Glasgow North)

Q8 Julie Elliott (Sunderland Central)

Q9 Judith Cummins (Bradford South)

Q10 Ruth Cadbury (Brentford and Isleworth)

Q11 Nusrat Ghani (Wealden)

Q12 Andrew Griffiths (Burton)

Q13 Barbara Keeley (Worsley and Eccles South)

Q14 Dr Alan Whitehead (Southampton, Test)

Q15 Jason McCartney (Colne Valley)

Comments in the comments please…[…]

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A Nigerian, an Afghan and Englishman Walk into an Anti-Corruption Summit

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David Cameron had good cause to enter the Chamber even more rosy cheeked than usual today. Yesterday video was leaked of him chin-wagging with the Queen at a Buckingham Palace Reception. “We’ve got some leaders of some fantastically corrupt countries coming to Britain”, he said ironically, going on to highlight “Nigeria and Afghanistan, possibly the two most corrupt countries in the world”.[…]

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Tim Farron Met With Wall of Groans

The name “Tim Farron” is met with a wall of groans from the Tory benches. Cameron swatted him away with minimal effort…[…]

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Who is Asking the Questions

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Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mike Kane (Wythenshawe and Sale East)

Q2 Victoria Prentis (Banbury)

Q3 Diana Johnson (Kingston upon Hull North)

Q4 Tom Pursglove (Corby) 

Q5 Jess Phillips (Birmingham, Yardley)

Q6 Keir Starmer (Holborn and St Pancras)

Q7 Roger Mullin (Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath) 

Q8 Henry Smith (Crawley)

Q9 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle) 

Q10 Gavin Newlands (Paisley and Renfrewshire North) 

Q11 Chris Law (Dundee West) 

Q12 Mike Freer (Finchley and Golders Green) 

Q13 Craig Williams (Cardiff North)

Q14 Mr Alan Mak (Havant)

Q15 Ms Karen Buck (Westminster North)

Comments in the comments…[…]

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Corbyn Withstands Heavy Shelling From PM

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To say Mr. Corbyn’s Labour party is on a downward spiral would rather overestimate the elegance of its descent.

In fact, if things keep going the way they are presently then one can only presume next week will reveal that John McDonnell is actually a 94 year old former Waffen-SS operative in disguise and Shabana Mahmood chucks cats into bins for japes.[…]

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