Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Maguire Dave Dig Backfires

Perhaps Kev should have checked PA before his rant:

David Cameron is in Poland to visit Nazi death camp Auschwitz. The Prime Minister is travelling to the notorious site on the way back from Turkey, where he held talks with President Recep Tayyip Erdogan. The trip to Auschwitz, the first by Mr Cameron, was heralded in his speech to the Israeli Knesset in March. He has expressed his determination that memories of the atrocities are kept “strong and vibrant”.

A source points out the PM will be actually be on site during PMQs. Won’t be that easy for the leaders debates though…

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

PMQs SKETCH: Maso-sadism

gallery_guido (2)

Our prime minister introduced this thrilling concept into PMQs just now, an entirely new sub-genre of the mainstream practice. What an exquisitely-tuned sensibility Eton produces in these matters.

He had been mocking Ed Balls, quoting his plan to be “tough on the deficit and tough on the causes of the deficit.” And as he was one of the main causes of the deficit, this was an example of “maso-sadism.”

Exactly how it differs from sado-masochism remained a tantalising mystery.

Labour erupted into a furious communion with itself and the House. What did he mean? What was this fascinating variation that only the elite have access to?

The Speaker attempted to calm his constituency. “We all know what he meant,” he said in a world-weary way. But it was unlikely he did know. Maso-sadism is strictly a Pop, P2, Order of the Garter sort of secret from which the Speaker will always be excluded (hence his loathing).

Perhaps realising he had given away more than he should, Cameron corrected himself. (That’s level one in M-S.) He laughed it off. He meant ordinary masochism. “I always said he could dish it put but he couldn’t take it. But I think he likes to take it as well.”

(more…)

WATCH: Dave’s PMQs Sadomasochism Slip

PMQs LIVE: Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Robert Flello (Stoke-on-Trent South)

Q2 Julian Sturdy (York Outer)

Q3 John Glen (Salisbury)

Q4 Graham Jones (Hyndburn) 

Q5 Rushanara Ali (Bethnal Green and Bow) 

Q6 Mrs Mary Glindon (North Tyneside)

Q7 Stephen Timms (East Ham) 

Q8 Charlie Elphicke (Dover) 

Q9 Sir Peter Luff (Mid Worcestershire) 

Q10 Seema Malhotra (Feltham and Heston) 

Q11 Nic Dakin (SHunthorpe) 

Q12 Rosie Cooper (West Lancashire) 

Q13 Bill Wiggin (North Herefordshire) 

Q14 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West) 

Q15 Teresa Pearce (Erith and Thamesmead)

Comments in the comments please…

Friday, November 28, 2014

WATCH: What Osborne Really Saw at PMQs

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

PMQs SKETCH: E.D. Phone Home!

gallery_guido (2)

Good old Brooks Newmark, he hath done the sketch some service.

On a question about the inner workings of the penile system and afflictions of the testicles there he was, lounging behind the questioner in his paisley-coloured dreamland. He’s certainly in touch. He definitely gets it.

Unlike – oh how very unlike – our friend who speaks for the Labour Party on these occasions.

Ed Miliband brought his finger to the fore. Long and odd, as you’d expect in an alien. It’s an open secret, isn’t it? The Labour leader is not of this world. He belongs in the basket of a little boy’s bicycle. We’re all waiting – I mean literally everyone is waiting – for the Miliband  fingertip to light up and for him to croak, “Home!” Oh, the relief in his party on that joyful day.

For his weekly turn, Ed let out six fluent streams of static, six bursts of passionate telemetry. It’s a language Geiger counters understand well.

Decoded, it appears he wants us to believe that the NHS in crisis. Which it may very well be.  Cameron’s complete answer consists of: 1) Labour wanted to cut its funding. And 2) The country needs to make the money before it can be spent on health.

That is the only answer necessary and one he gives every week. For all his other-worldly intelligence, Miliband hasn’t found a way round or through it.

(more…)

PMQs LIVE: Who Is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Albert Owen (Ynys Môn)

Q2 Ian Murray (Edinburgh South) 

Q3 Sir Oliver Heald (North East Hertfordshire)

Q4 Roberta Blackman-Woods (City of Durham) 

Q5 Pete Wishart (Perth and North Perthshire) 

Q6 Annette Brooke (Mid Dorset and North Poole) 

Q7 Norman Baker (Lewes) 

Q8 Nadhim Zahawi (Stratford-on-Avon) 

Q9 Mr Jim Cunningham (Coventry South) 

Q10 Andrew Rosindell (Romford) 

Q11 Karl Turner (Kingston upon Hull East)

Q12 Mark Menzies (Fylde) 

Q13 Mr Jamie Reed (Copeland)

Q14 Mr Andy Slaughter (Hammersmith) 

Comments in the comments please…

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

PMQs SKETCH: Ed the Unready
Uncounselled, Ill-Advised, a Leader Surrounded by Fools

Up he stood with one prepared earlier by nitwits unknown.

Faced with prolonged Tory cheers, the ones he gets every week, he said, “Let’s see if they’re still cheering on Friday!” (Laughter)

The Rochester by-election is set to give the Tories a rollicking. That much we have known for a fortnight, all through Ed’s leadership crisis.

But it’s usually a mistake to chaff the prime minister. “I make one prediction,” he said in his easy, Eton house-room way, “the people behind me will still be cheering HIM on Friday.”

True.

The news on Friday morning may be shocking enough to revive Labour panic. What happens if they poll 15 per cent? Tory failure has been priced in – has Labour melt-away? How will the 100-odd Labour MPs feel when their vulnerability is dramatised for them? When they look ahead to the loss of their precious seat?

Because it’s all about Ed. Presidential Ed. The teeth of the campaign. The big brain behind it. The single greatest weakness of the party is given the greatest prominence. Who thought that was a good idea?

Ed!

It isn’t a confection of the right wing press: voters look at Ed and shudder.

(more…)

Another Happy Reader…

The PM clearly got his daily dose yesterday, referencing the pay-off line from the Scottish poll story Guido ran:

“More people believe in the Loch Ness monster than believe in his leadership.”

Not the first time Dave has done one of Guido’s lines…

PMQs LIVE: Who is Asking the Questions Today

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Graham Jones (Hyndburn)

Q2 Mr Stephen Hepburn (Jarrow)

Q3 John Glen (Salisbury) 

Q4 Anas Sarwar (Glasgow Central) 

Q5 Mr Gareth Thomas (Harrow West)

Q6 Mr John Baron (Basildon and Billericay)

Q7 Stephen Mosley (City of Chester) 

Q8 Mr David Winnick (Walsall North) 

Q9 Mr Laurence Robertson (Tewkesbury) 

Q10 Caroline Lucas (Brighton, Pavilion) 

Q11 David Mowat (Warrington South) 

Q12 Dr William McCrea (South Antrim)

Q13 Jeremy Lefroy (Stafford)

Q14 Michael Ellis (Northampton North) 

Q15 Mr Henry Bellingham (North West Norfolk) 

Comments in the comments please…


Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers