You Know What? It’s rigged. The Whole Thing Folks, Bigly.

pmqs

If you’re wondering why this week’s PMQs felt a bit odd it’s because this is the first time in a year that the Tories have been in a pickle and the attention hasn’t been on Jeremy Corbyn managing to create an even worse crisis in the Labour Party. And yet where is the praise for Jez for not cocking everything up for one solitary week? Nowhere. You know why? That’s because it’s rigged. The whole thing folks. The crooked pollsters, the lying media: the BBC, ITV, The Guardian – all in on it, and bigly too. It’s a tremendous shame. Sad folks! So sad!

Instead this week everyone’s been talking about just how Theresa May manages to successfully sidestep so many direct questions about Brexit. The good people at the University of York have decided she does it by opting to give a “non-specific response to a specific question”: in other words her interlocutor asks her about staying in the single market and she brilliantly counters that we need “to make sure the UK gets the best possible trade deal”. Of course the eggheads are wrong, and this is nonsense. Continue reading

Who is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs live chat may corbyn

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 James Morris (Halesowen and Rowley Regis)

Q2 Mr Christopher Chope (Christchurch)

Q3 Helen Hayes (Dulwich and West Norwood) 

Q4 Wendy Morton (Aldridge-Brownhills) 

Q5 Karl Turner (Kingston upon Hull East) 

Q6 Dr Alasdair McDonnell (Belfast South) 

Q7 Jim Dowd (Lewisham West and Penge) 

Q8 Alison McGovern (Wirral South) 

Q9 Mrs Anne-Marie Trevelyan (Berwick-upon-Tweed) 

Q10 Yasmin Qureshi (Bolton South East) 

Q11 Owen Thompson (Midlothian)

Q12 Sir David Amess (Southend West) 

Q13 Jeremy Lefroy (Stafford) 

Q14 Maggie Throup (Erewash) 

Q15 Stephen Hammond (Wimbledon)

Who Will Challenge the PM?

pmqs

The Foreign Secretary quickly cottoned on to the fact that this was not going to be the most riveting of PMQs bust-ups. That of course meant there was only one thing for it: time to get in a bit of light chin-wagging (read: serious ministerial business). Attempting to avoid detection or accusations of rudeness while his leader held court, Boris decided the best strategy would be The Cagney. Popularised by the black and white film star, this technique involves leaning in to one’s co-conspirator with head bowed and quickly yapping out the opposite side of the mouth: a useful tactic when stuck in the can. Unfortunately for Boris while the Cagney works a charm for Noo-Yawk lags on lockdown, it is rather less effective when attempted by a booming old Etonian with a penchant for peppering his sentences with Latin. He never was any good at “oratio sub rosa” (that’s “Boris” for “talking in secret”).

Proceedings had begun with all paying unreserved tribute to those lost in Aberfan Disaster, including the Labour leader. Naturally there will be those concerned that this indicates a breach of Corbyn’s Law, they need not worry – had Jeremy known of any other mass landslide casualties they would undoubtedly have been duly referenced. The leader of the opposition then decided to question his opposite number on mental health and the NHS. It’s a subject quite literally close to his heart as he has spent every Wednesday afternoon for the past year sitting a foot away from a man slowly losing his mind. Although fortunately Tom Watson did opt for the first time in PMQs to unclasp his hands, meaning that the small mouse he would usually crush over the course of your average session happily managed to survive this Wednesday.

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Theresa May’s Mrs Bone Innuendo

Theresa May has just said she hopes Peter Bone’s wife is going to treat his birthday “in the appropriate manner.” The Speaker can’t contain his excitement. Calm down man!

PMQs Live

PMQs: Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs live chat may corbyn

Oral Questions To The Prime Minister

Q1 Mr Peter Bone (Wellingborough)

Q2 Lisa Nandy (Wigan)

Q3 Marcus Fysh (Yeovil)

Q4 Stephen Pound (Ealing North)

Q5 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty)

Q6 Drew Hendry (Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey)

Q7 Maria Eagle (Garston and Halewood)

Q8 Mrs Cheryl Gillan (Chesham and Amersham)

Q9 Anne McLaughlin (Glasgow North East)

Q10 Alison Thewliss (Glasgow Central)

Q11 Richard Fuller (Bedford)

Q12 Mr Jamie Reed (Copeland)

Q13 Lucy Powell (Manchester Central)

Q14 Robert Flello (Stoke-on-Trent South)

Introducing Corbyn’s Law

pmqs

Proceedings began with a lengthy discussion on the Member for Lichfield’s (now removed) prostate. The new, lighter, more streamlined Fabbers spoke of the treatment he received on the NHS, only to have the Labour leader somewhat rain on his parade in his opening remarks. “I obviously hope”, inquired a re-elected, reinvigorated Jeremy Corbyn, “that the treatment he got was the same as the treatment everybody else got?”

The implication here being that the NHS pay particular attention to the health of the glands should they be nestled inside a Tory MP, whereas for the rest of us serfs they just rip them out with some rusty pliers and then kick them up the corridors in a game of hacky sack. The House was not amused, forcing the Labour leader to plead “it’s not controversial, I’m just wishing him well, is that okay?”, before going on to smirk “sorry to start on such a controversial note Mr. Speaker, I do apologise”. It’s come to something when he can’t even successfully congratulate someone for beating cancer.

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Theresa May Burns Emily Thornberry

Phil Hammond enjoyed it.

PMQs: Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs live chat may corbyn

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Paula Sherriff (Dewsbury)

Q2 Meg Hillier (Hackney South and Shoreditch) 

Q3 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield)

Q4 Steve Double (St Austell and Newquay) 

Q5 Daniel Kawczynski (Shrewsbury and Atcham) 

Q6 Vernon Coaker (Gedling) 

Q7 Mr David Burrowes (Enfield, Southgate) 

Q8 Mr Philip Hollobone (Kettering) 

Q9 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle)

Q10 Dr Alasdair McDonnell (Belfast South) 

Q11 Liz Saville Roberts (Dwyfor Meirionnydd) 

Q12 James Cartlidge (South Suffolk)

Q13 Fiona Bruce (Congleton) 

Q14 Mr Ben Bradshaw (Exeter) 

Q15 Victoria Prentis (Banbury) 

[…] Read the rest

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Corbyn Finds Safe Space

pmqs
Theresa May began today’s PMQs with a requiem for her predecessor, opting in sombre tone to list the departing Member for Witney’s crowning achievements. He was, she opined, “a tremendous public servant”, whose tenure saw “the economy being stabilised..and people on low incomes being taken out of tax”.[…] Read the rest

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PMQs: Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs live chat may corbyn

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Deidre Brock (Edinburgh North and Leith)

Q2 Marcus Fysh (Yeovil)

QCraig Williams (Cardiff North) 

Q4 Victoria Atkins (Louth and Horncastle) 

Q5 Owen Thompson (Midlothian) 

Q6 Mr David Winnick (Walsall North)

Q7 Richard Burden (Birmingham, Northfield) 

Q8 Mr John Baron (Basildon and Billericay) 

Q9 Lucy Frazer (South East Cambridgeshire)

Q10 Fiona Bruce (Congleton) 

Q11 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North) 

Q12 Tom Elliott (Fermanagh and South Tyrone) 

Q13 Mary Robinson (Cheadle) 

Q14 Lisa Nandy (Wigan) 

Q15 Diana Johnson (Kingston upon Hull North) 

Comments in the comments…[…] Read the rest

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More Than A Freudian Slip

freudianslip

And so we’re back, but from where? Well Theresa May chose to spend the Summer recess hiking with her husband Philip in the Swiss Alps: an interesting choice for a holiday jaunt and a million miles away from her predecessor’s Cornish jollies.[…] Read the rest

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PMQs: Who is Asking the Questions Today

pmqs live chat may corbyn

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Thangam Debbonaire (Bristol West)

Q2 Neil Parish (Tiverton and Honiton)

Q3 Richard Arkless (Dumfries and Galloway) 

Q4 Lucy Frazer (South East Cambridgeshire) 

Q5 James Heappey (Wells) 

Q6 Andrew Gwynne (Denton and Reddish)

Q7 Mr Bernard Jenkin (Harwich and North Essex) 

Q8 James Gray (North Wiltshire) 

Q9 Richard Fuller (Bedford) 

Q10 Charlie Elphicke (Dover) 

Q11 Ms Margaret Ritchie (South Down) 

Q12 Jeff Smith (Manchester, Withington) 

Q13 Julian Sturdy (York Outer) 

Q14 Helen Hayes (Dulwich and West Norwood) 

Q15 Tom Brake (Carshalton and Wallington) 

Comments in the comments…[…] Read the rest

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Oily’s Confused Advice to Corbyn for PMQs

confused

Oily Smith has helpfully written to Jezza with some advice on tactics at PMQs:

“Of course, with six questions, you could cover more than one topic … although you know from your own experience that covering too many topics in one session can make the scrutiny less effective.”

Oily as always faces both ways and then splits the difference.[…] Read the rest

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Haven’t We Seen This One Before?

may2

Last week the outgoing Prime Minister recalled being accosted when on a tour of New York with Mayor Bloomberg. “Hey, Cameron!” yelled a pedestrian, “Prime Minister’s Questions! We love your show!”. The House laughed, but it’s an interesting conceit, and one that is not without its merit.[…] Read the rest

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“Remind him of Anybody?”

Theresa May was sounding an awful lot like the last female PM, she opened with a jibe: “In my years here in this house, I’ve long heard the Labour party asking what the Conservative Party does for women. It keeps making us Prime Minister.”

She was at her most Thatcheresque on Corbyn’s troubles:

“He refers to the situation of some workers who might have some job insecurity, and potentially unscrupulous bosses.

[…] Read the rest

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