As the rhetoric ratchets up and Israel leans towards launching a pre-emptive strike on Iran’s nuclear weapons programme, the regime feels it needs to reach out to the Western media, granting CNN’s Piers Morgan an interview to be broadcast Monday night. The evil egotistical megalomaniac is interviewing President Ahmadinejad…

Piers Morgan has found the ratings battle with his CNN colleagues particularly difficult over recent months. Time and time again the likes of silver-haired Anderson Cooper and prime time eye candy Erin Burnett have knocked Piers down the pecking order. Not last week however. Guido thought he would have to begrudgingly admit that Piers had turned things round when he saw that his old foe had topped CNN’s ratings for Friday night. According to MediaLite Piers Morgan Tonight was on top form:

Just the one caveat. Piers was actually away last week filming his latest series of Life Stories for ITV. Friday night’s ratings-winning episode of Piers Morgan Tonight was hosted in Morgan’s absence by rival Wolf Blitzer. Even his own show does better when it’s hosted by someone else, just the message Piers wants to send to his bosses…

“@piersmorgan: ps I think @Rihanna needs to grow her hair back. Fast.” grow a dick….. FAST!!!!—
Rihanna (@rihanna) September 09, 2012

Ouch…

Piers Morgan is fighting for his job as CNN bosses look to revamp the beleaguered network’s prime time line up. June saw Piers drag the channel’s viewing figures to a 21-year low, while ratings plummeted again last month. Now, according to reports, CNN chiefs have put him on probation:

“Anderson Cooper — CNN’s only claimant to real TV star power — appears to be the only one safe in the network’s primetime lineup, say those who have talked with programming officials there.”

 The pressure is on…

Yesterday Media Guido posted a slap down from a Twitter user to Piers Morgan. For some reason someone got the wrong end of the stick and thought the slap had come from Team GB hero Bradley Wiggins. Their version of events went semi-viral, and Piers waded in:

Dear Trolls, that Bradley Wiggins tweet to me's a fake. So maybe send it to yourselves instead of me? There's a good of bunch of dimbos.—
Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) August 08, 2012

Just imagine being taken in by a fake photo and publishing it?

What sort of “dimbo” would do such a thing?

Piers Morgan has spent the last two weeks taking to twitter to troll the Team GB gold medal heroes that, for whatever reason, opted not to sing the National Anthem. As ever at odds with the public mood, Piers even slammed cycling hero Bradley Wiggins. Fortunately one quick-witted tweeter was on hand to put this troll back in his place:

.@piersmorgan I was disappointed when you didn't go to jail for insider dealing or phone hacking, but you know, each to his own @bradwiggins—
Colm Quinn (@mrcolmquinn) August 02, 2012

Zing…

Regular Media Guido readers will be aware of Piers Morgan’s ratings woes in recent months. In June Jon Stewart twisted the knife, while others piled in as the beleaguered talk show host dragged CNN to a 21-year low. There has been no reprieve in July either, with the latest figures revealing that Piers’ show is down by almost 20% year-on-year for total viewers and by 25% in the crucial 25-54 age range. It could be worse, at least he’s not on NBC…

Piers’ plummeting ratings come four days after CNN chief Jim Walton quit after taking the bullet for the network’s torrid recent performance.

You have to wonder who will be next to go…

As if last month’s viewing figures weren’t bad enough for Piers Morgan, official quarterly ratings released yesterday show that CNN has hit a staggering 21-year low. Piers’ prime time chat show has bombed disastrously over the last year, falling 33% in the 24-54 age bracket and 45% overall. US comedians have already started sticking the boot in, with one tweeting:

Piers Morgan has worse Ratings Problems than a Moody's analyst with an undiagnosed brain tumor.—
Dennis Miller Show (@DennisDMZ) June 26, 2012

How much more can his CNN bosses put up with?

The Daily Beast has got hold of Piers Morgan’s interview transcripts from the Viglen investigation back in 2004, as Guido anticipated last week. The CNN host denied any wrongdoing over the shady share-tipping scandal, but admitted that his “bowels were beginning to twitch slightly about what was going to happen“. Without a hint of irony, Piers expressed his dismay that investigators had obtained recordings of his phone calls to a stock broker:

“I have to tell you, I found it one of the most unnerving things in my life, having to listen to transcripts of private conversations. It’s not something I’ve ever had to do before. I hope I never have to again.”

Sadly for Piers, we don’t always get what we wish for…

As his ratings plummet and the phone-hacking wagons circle around Piers Morgan, Guido understands that CNN’s resident star-f**ker will be the focus of a very big and very negative piece in Newsweek next week.

During a four-year investigation into the “City Slickers” share tipping scandal at the Mirror,  then editor Morgan was questioned by the police for several hours under caution.

Two of his staff ended up serving time, but Morgan was cleared in 2004, despite emptying his bank account and buying shares in Viglen, a company that his paper then tipped.

Sadly for Piers it sounds like Newsweek have got hold of the transcripts of his police interview…