Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Mandy in Marakesh

Apparently the Dark Lord is in Marakesh, this tip-off has just arrived in the inbox:

My sister just txted me from Marakesh. Mandy spotted with a young boy. Unfortunately she is not politically nerdy enough to have followed up the spot so the trail is cold. Not much of a tip-off but it may be the start of a trail.

Anyone out there got a camera-phone?

One night in Marakesh some years ago Guido was in a taxi with a champagne-filled Irish girl (not Mrs Fawkes). She somewhat louchely dared Guido to procure some professional company for the night. Guido turned to the taxi driver (from whom we had already obtained some local hashish) and asked him to take us to a brothel. He didn’t bat an eyelid and simply asked “boys or girls?” Guido turned to his companion and asked her what she fancied… well when in Rome…

Monday, December 8, 2008

Tonight’s Conversation Starter for Mandelson and Balls

Patrick Hennessy tells us that there is an interesting dinner planned for tonight, and that in a new found spirit of peaceful cooperation, bread will be broken by two old enemies. Before the great tribal truce and the summoning of the Dark Lord from over the water by the One-Eyed Son of the Manse, Peter Mandelson and Ed Balls were the most vicious champions of their respective masters; Blair and Brown. Briefing and pouring bile about the enemy camp into the ears of anyone who would listen.

It was at the height of the Blair destabilising cash for honours investigation that Guido was sent a document outlining the use of 11 Downing Street by the Smith Institute and the role of that “charity” in furthering Gordon’s ambitions. The note was passed to Guido by an über-Blairite close to No. 10. This was hardly surprising since No. 10 suspected (rightly) the Brownies were stoking the flames of cash for honours, this was essentially a sleaze counter-attack. The note outlined how Gordon got private polling and personal consultants flown in from the States. How they were paid for by cash-for-access meetings in No. 11 involving Brown and his aides under the auspices of the Smith Institute. Balls himself was paid an £89,000 bung by the Smith Institute and is now under scrutiny with the Tories looking to link this payment and others to the unlawful furtherance of Brown’s political ambitions.

Perhaps tonight, over the appetisers, Ed might want to ask Peter who it is he thinks was the cabinet minister who gave a very similar tip to the Tories?

Saturday, November 29, 2008

From Superhero to Moses

After reading Peter Mandelson’s unintentionally hilarious interview in the Guardian comparing Brown to Moses, Alan Duncan, his shadow says;
“First global superhero and now Moses… Labour and Peter Mandelson should spend more time getting a grip on the country’s problems and less time heaping praise on their failed leader. We face massive issues. The automotive sector is grinding to a halt, the payment chain between companies is freezing over and insolvencies are rising fast. Labour has all but bankrupted Britain and as a result we are now badly placed to stave off the recession.”

Britain does need a miracle worker…

UPDATE : Charlotte Corday, the co-conspirator with the most cutting wit in the comments: “The only thing that Gordon Brown has in common with Moses is that they are both basket-cases.”

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Mandelson’s Big Chance

Obviously the big political news today is the withdrawal of John Sergeant from Strictly Come Dancing. He says he feared he would win.

Hmmm. Guido is suspicious, you don’t think he has been got at? It was after all only a few days ago that Mandelson said he wanted to be on the show….

UPDATE : Mandy has, this really is genuine, released a statement “John Sergeant should not bow out… He has become the people’s John Travolta and he should be a fighter, not a quitter… . The Guidoisation of politics continues.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

"Did You Discuss Tariff Cuts With Deripaska?" Four Times Mandy Refuses to Deny Allegation

In a tough interview the BBC’s Richard Galpin asked Lord Mandelson four times if he had discussed cutting tariffs with Oleg Deripaska. Mandy tried using the same kind of spin lines that he bluffed with Sophie Raworth; “I’m not distracted by media squalls, sensationalist headlines… there was no conflict of interest, no impropriety”.

We know, as Trevor Kavanagh reminds us, that Mandelson is a proven liar, however he is not an idiot. He no doubt has heard the rumours of tapes and boasts by oligarchs that they have western politicians in their pocket. So perhaps the explanation for his reticence in answering the question, and uncharacteristic aversion to risking a lie to deny ever discussing tariff cuts worth billions to Deripaska, is the fear that he will be contradicted.

Paul Waugh reckons “the only sensible conclusion to draw is that Mandelson did indeed discuss the tariffs.” He is surely right.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Why Can’t Mandelson Stay at the British Embassy in Moscow?

Surely given that we are in a new cold war with Russia it would be safer from a security point of view to stay at the Embassy rather than the Baltschug Kempinski Hotel? Presumably the embassy is less likely to be as comprehensively bugged by the FSB as Moscow’s most luxurious hotel? It is normal for ministers traveling overseas to avail themselves of the Embassy’s guest rooms.
Could it be that Lord Mandy of Corfu has got so used to the high life of the oligarchs that he would rather lord it at a 5-star hotel. The British businessman he is with are staying in another hotel costing £300 a night, whereas his suite normally rents at circa £5,000 a night. They are paying their own bills of course. No credit crunch worries for Mandy, the taxpayer picks up his bill…

Friday, October 24, 2008

+++ Deripaska / Mandelson Tapes Rumour +++

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Mandelson "Gatecrashed Microsoft Boss’s Yacht Party"Same Time Microsoft Appealing EC €497m Fine

Guido’s man on the high seas tells him about a party thrown by Steve Ballmers Paul Allen on his yacht last year in 2005. Peter Mandelson was brought to the party by a third person – uninvited.
He was not a welcome guest and was avoided by many of the other party-goers who were only too well aware that the European Commission had fined Microsoft a record €497 million on competition grounds. Microsoft was engaged in a bitter legal battle to have the fine overturned.

With billions at stake it was surely inappropriate for the trade commissioner to meet socially with the second largest shareholder in Microsoft when it was in a fierce battle with the Commission. Over to you Peston…

+++ Developing +++

By the Way

Lord Mandy of the Dark Arts’ permanent secretary is Sir Brian Bender KCB. Just thought Guido would mention that. No juvenile sniggering at the back.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Pesto Payback

Why was Peston gunning, with Nick Robinson, for Osborne this morning on the Today show? Some speculate that it is payback for the generous tips of recent weeks that have come Pesto’s way. Guido suspects they are wrong.

Could it be something to do with the complaints to the FSA and the SFO from Tory MPs which, rightly or wrongly, Peston believes is being coordinated by Osborne’s office. Was there an element of personal animus? Surely not from the objective and impartial BBC….


Seen Elsewhere

Bercow ‘Wounded’ | Speccie
This Goes Further Than Rotherham | Simon Danczuk
Bercow Mocked | Times
Indy Deletes ‘Jewish Lobby’ Headline | MediaGuido
Cracknell v Boris | Sun
British Muslims are Failing to Integrate | Dan Hodges
Dear Sarah Wollaston… | ASI
Treatment of Ashya King’s Family Authoritarian | Brendan O'Neill
Stop the War Should Disband | Rob Marchant
State Should Not Act as Parent | Kathy Gyngell
Guido’s Column | Sun


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Douglas Carswell…

“I stab people in the front, not the back.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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