Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The Guidos: The Guido for Services to Deadlines

The nominees:

  • Rob Wilson for his EXTENSIVE letter writing campaign
  • Labour’s John Mann, for calling for absolutely everyone to resign
  • Nadine Dorries, Friday night filler

And the winner:

When you have a column to fill on a Sunday, always good for a quote, heck she’ll write your column given a chance…

Monday, October 13, 2014

Twitter Mensch Fight of the Week: Nads v Louise

It’s a day ending in ‘y’ so Louise Mensch has been at the internet again, with predictable results.

Round one of this weekend’s transatlantic duel saw her go after Nadine Dorries, who she probably should have known from previous experience is a brave choice of sparring partner.

Seconds out…

K.O. 

If that were not enough, Louise then decided to swing for someone she clearly presumed would be a softer target:

Except Karen is in politics. Elected politics. She is a politician. A Labour councillor, and Louise isn’t, having abandoned her seat. No one has a pop at Mrs D and gets away with it…

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Bryant’s Nads Mix Up

Chris Bryant has got his knickers in a twist after Nadine Dorries mistakenly accused him of being a video star:

Nads was delighted to be able to set the record straight when Guido reminded her that she may have been thinking about these snaps, thankfully in still rather than moving form:

As ever Guido is happy to clear up the misunderstanding…

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Stewards’ Inquiry: Can You Hear ‘Crackerjack’ at PMQs?

A steward’s inquiry is required to determine if Guido’s tip that the word ‘Crackerjack’ would be said during today’s PMQs came good. As Nadine Dorries congratulated the Speaker for his new role as chancellor of Bedfordshire University, Guido reckons you can hear the word being uttered in the background. So will Paddy Power be paying out?

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Nads Woos Tory MPs Ahead of Deputy Speaker Vote

Going on to refer to Hopkins’ personal blue on blue Twitter attack on Philip Davies last month. Copying and pasting whips’ lines to take in public arguments with with your own MPs apparently helps your chances of promotion. Hopkins and Nadine’s 1922 Committee battle wounds are clearly still sore. She can put probably him down as a maybe…

Monday, October 7, 2013

Nadine Solicits Votes

Nadine has emailed every Tory MP today in her bid to become Deputy Speaker. It’s quite something:

From: DORRIES, Nadine
Sent: 07 October 2013 14:50
Subject: FROM NADINE DORRIES MP
Importance: High

I will be writing personally, however, I am emailing now to ask if you would possibly consider voting for me in the forthcoming Deputy Speaker election and, if you cannot give me your first preference vote, would you consider giving me your second?

The paramount quality for a Deputy Speaker position is impartiality. I don’t think anyone can doubt that I am possibly the most impartial MP in the House of Commons and I do believe I have demonstrated my commitment to fairness via my role as a committee chair on the Speakers Panel.

In terms of my political commitment, I was the only victim of the smear gate emails who could attack Damian McBride, which I did for five consecutive days and nights. The attack culminated in my publicly demanding an apology from Gordon Brown, which I received. Damian McBride left No 10 the same day.

Since the 2009 expenses crisis I have been a known defender of MPs and continue to tackle IPSA on a regular basis.

I have a record of achievement in Parliament that has resulted in the number of late term abortions dropping year on year since my first vote in 2008 and the offer of abortion counselling being included in DOH guidelines following the campaign in 2011. It was always about winning over hearts and minds in the public, not votes in Parliament. If you don’t agree with my position on late term abortion you may see this as a way to shut me up!

In terms of the profile of women within the party, it would certainly be helpful for the party to be seen to elect a working class, northern female. This is an issue David Cameron is very aware of in the lead up to the General Election.

I haven’t agreed a pact with Nigel but would stand down without hesitation should he return, as a matter of decency.

I am obviously not the No 10 candidate, something which in the election of a Deputy Speaker should not exist.

Whichever way you vote, thanks for reading this far and I hope if you feel you can’t vote for me, you would consider giving me your second vote.

Yours with best wishes,

Nadine

Apparently she is not the Number 10 candidate. Who’da thunk it? Guido’s money is on Burns still…

Friday, October 4, 2013

Nads v Eleanor Laing For Deputy Speaker

As tipped by Guido, Nadine Dorries is throwing her hat into the ring for the Deputy Speaker job. Which certainly makes the race all the more interesting. Odds are shortening on Eleanor Laing, who has announced she is going to stand, is popular and hotly-tipped by Tory colleagues. She tells Guido she only thought of going for the job when she saw her name on this blog’s runners and riders. She denies she is Number 10’s candidate to the Standard.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Nadine Pays Back £3,000 Travel Expenses

Friday, July 5, 2013

Nadine Reselected For 2015

Not all smiles for Dave today then…

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Shadow Health Minister Diane Abbott Calls Nadine “Demented”


Seen Elsewhere

Tory MP Tells Leftie Jon Snow to Retire | Guardian
Russell Brand’s New Book “Sub-Undergraduate Dross” | Telegraph
Tory MP Barrister Represents Monaco Billionaire | Scrapbook
MOBO Singers Slam UKIP | ITV
Could UKIP Keep Britain in the EU? | Iain Martin
Why Piketty is Wrong | ConHome
Guido Whips Politicians Into Shape | Guardian
Milburn Levelling Down | Kathy Gyngell
Crosby and Carswell Make Friends at Guido’s Dinner | Mail
Mrs Danczuk Beats Mensch to Win Guido | Telegaph
PM Congratulates Blogger Who Destroyed Minister | Mail


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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