Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

WATCH: Ed Miliband Pet Shop Boys Remix

Gareth Can’t Decide Between Yellow and Red

Poor due diligence from Labour speechwriters on Gareth from IT, the man Ed spent a large portion of his speech talking about meeting. It turns out he voted LibDem at the last election. Here he is unable to decide between yellow and red:

‘Elizabeth’, another of the many people who have met Ed Miliband and gone on to feature in his speeches, meanwhile says she is keeping an open mind about who she is voting for next year. Obviously ‘Colin’ does not have a vote next time, given he is no longer with us. He died shortly after his conversation with Ed, but not before speaking in perfect soundbites.  The personal touch doesn’t seem to be working…

 

Ed and Justine’s Awkward Post-Speech Kiss

The traditional post-speech kiss didn’t go quite to plan:

With a small amount of convincing, Justine finally gave him a peck:

Conference would not have been complete without a high quality awkward Ed moment…

Theme From Brother, Slogan From Obama, Jokes From Blair


Finally a sign that David Axelrod is actually doing some work for Ed Miliband? It wasn’t just the Labour leader’s top line, “Together we can”, that was a clunkier rip off of Obama. Miliband then told the conference hall “For Labour this election is about you”, lifted straight from Obama’s stump speeches in which he told voters; “This election is not about me. It’s about you.” Labour are paying Axelrod a six figure sum for second hand goods…

While every politician tries to mimic Obama these days, it’s a bit harsh of Ed to quote his stabbed brother. “On your own” was a David Miliband line repeated by Ed as a warning of what would happen unless people vote for him. It’s what David tried in 2008 when he said “unless government is on your side you end up on your own”. At the time Cameron described this as “one of the most arrogant things I’ve heard a politician say”. So that’s the slogan as well as the theme that he’s lifted. 

And he wasn’t done there. Miliband also pinched his opening gag from Tony Blair’s speech to Labour conference in 2006, almost word for word. Then Blair said:

“I know I look a lot older. That’s what being leader of the Labour Party does to you. Actually, looking round some of you look a lot older.”

Today Ed said:

“Since I was here 4 years ago, I feel wiser. I feel older. A lot older! But hang on, some of you lot look older too.”

So much for no more borrowing…

Guido’s Fashion Tips: What the Milibands Were Wearing

justine

Justine is wearing a fuchsia pink outfit with a black belt squeezing her middle. According to last night’s Standard claret is the colour for autumn – a shade of proletarian Pinot? “No f**king idea” who the dress is by, a Labour spokesman tells Guido.

UPDATE: Mrs Miliband was wearing Zara and Ed a Spencer Hart suit.

WATCH: Sons of Brown Blank Forgotten Gordon

Ed Miliband thanked just about every Labour member who knocked on a door for the Better Together campaign yesterday, everyone except one Gordon Brown. Surely Ed Balls would have a kind word for his old master? Speaking to Iain Dale on LBC, the Shadow Chancellor awkwardly admitted he hadn’t even picked up the phone to say ‘thanks’.

The poor old Prime Mentalist is nowhere to be seen in Manchester…

Monday, September 22, 2014

Miliband Speaks Alongside Stalin at Labour Conference

Friday, September 19, 2014

Ed’s “Dynamic Settlement” Fails to Inspire Dynamic Response

Fair to say poor Ed Miliband is not having a very good day. In response to Dave throwing down the gauntlet to Labour over English votes for English laws, Labour have announced “A Constitutional Convention for the UK; a dynamic new political settlement for England and for Britain”. It has received a mixed reception, putting it politely:

Sticking to his old mantra of if in doubt, call for an inquiry…

Denham Sticks Boot Into Miliband Over Devolution Fudge

Miliband mentioned the word “change” over a dozen times in his referendum result response this morning, but said nothing about English votes for English laws. Writing on his personal blog today, John Denham has some strong words for the Labour leader:

“English Labour needs its own voice in this process, unrestrained by Labour from other parts of the union. I’d argue that devolution with England has been held back by a UK Labour Party not convinced that England needs change as much as Wales and Scotland. Now we need a voice of our own… As the powers of the Scottish Parliament increase, the role of Scottish MPs in determining English laws will inevitably diminish. If the aim is to ensure that laws affecting England alone have the consent of elected English representatives, there are many ways of doing so.”

Delicious irony if Gordon Brown’s last ditch attempt to save the union means Labour MPs in Scottish constituencies will no longer be able to vote on English laws…


Seen Elsewhere

Thornberry a Snob | Sun
Thornberry Has Turned Fire on Labour | Guardian
Thornberry’s Contempt for Working Class | Telegraph
Thornberry Shows Why Labour are Losing to UKIP | Alex Wickham
Thornberry Accused of Outrageous Snobbery | Mail
What Did Thornberry Mean By This Tweet? | Telegraph
Thornberry Finishes Labour in Rochester | City AM
Endless Hypocrisy of Russell Brand | Speccie
Few Tory to Labour Switches Since 2010 | Red Box
Did Venezuelan Spooks Break Into London Blogger’s Flat? | Infodio
Labour More Hostile to Any Coalition | Staggers


Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Dominic Cummings blasts Sir Jeremy:

“Heywood is more important than anyone in the cabinet, apart from Cameron and Osborne, and arguably more important than Osborne. He sits right next to the prime minister. He has him completely by the balls and Cameron does not do anything without Heywood’s permission.”



Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


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