Apparently Miliband is on his way to Ibiza:
Heading out for the opening parties?
The big question being: is he staying at Chuka’s place?
And lo, the Lord thy God spoke unto Miliband the Younger, and said: thou must control immigration.
Today’s Observer is not a spoof. It seems Ed has been hanging out with Russell Brand a little too long. Labour really have “commissioned a giant stone inscription bearing Labour’s six election pledges that is set to be installed in the Downing Street Rose Garden if he becomes prime minister.”
“The 8ft 6in-high limestone structure is intended to underline his commitment to keep his promises by having them literally “carved in stone” and visible from the offices inside No 10.”
They might as well write it on the barn wall…
After a brutal decking by the Question Time audience, Ed could not get off the stage quick enough:
This was a hell of a moment:
“His five years as opposition leader have revealed severe limitations and strategic weaknesses. He has never succeeded in inspiring the electorate and has struggled to define himself. His narrow rhetorical and ideological focus on political economy has left him unable to reach the aspirational voters required to build a broad electoral coalition (see Jason Cowley’s report on Harlow in this week’s issue). Finally, even after the SNP’s victory in the 2011 Scottish Parliament election, which we predicted, he remained complacent over Labour’s decline in Scotland, where he is even less popular than David Cameron. It is the surge in support for the SNP, which has positioned itself to the left of Labour, that has definitively ended Mr Miliband’s hopes of winning an absolute majority. Should he become prime minister, he will now almost certainly be reliant on the support of a large nationalist bloc to govern.”
This from the magazine that sacked Dan Hodges for being too anti-Ed…
They might be doing it at PMQs every week soon…
“I think he has demeaned himself and demeaned his office” said Ed Miliband last week about Michael Fallon. Apparently “national security is too important to play politics with”. Fast forward a few days and Miliband is accusing Cameron of abandoning Libya…
Yet Labour have been silent on this issue for years.[…]
This a snapshot of the front-page of the BBC website as of 10 this morning:
It reads like a Labour press release, with each election story given the best possible pro-Labour slant to it. Where are Cameron’s, Osborne’s or Major’s attacks on Miliband on the same subject? […]
[gigya src=”https://abfiles.s3.amazonaws.com/swf/audioboom_default_player_v1.swf” style=”background-color:transparent; display:block; min-width:300px; max-width:700px;” flashvars=”image_option=small&imgURL=https%3A%2F%2Fd15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net%2Fi%2F14130181%2F300x300%2Fc&link_color=%2358d1eb&mp3Author=jeremywils0n&mp3Duration=10240.0&mp3LinkURL=https%3A%2F%2Faudioboom.com%2Fboos%2F3101829-ed-miliband-terrified-of-hens&mp3Time=09.30am+20+Apr+2015&mp3Title=Ed+Miliband+Terrified+of+Hens&mp3URL=https%3A%2F%2Faudioboom.com%2Fboos%2F3101829-ed-miliband-terrified-of-hens.mp3%3Fsource%3Dwordpress&player_theme=light&rootID=boo_player_1&show_title=true&waveimgURL=https%3A%2F%2Fd15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net%2Fi%2Fw%2F2378537″ width=”480″ height=”150″ allowFullScreen=”true” wmode=”transparent”]
According to one attendee on LBC this morning “he looked terrified, absolutely terrified. And he wouldn’t actually come off the bus. He was just kind of lingering on the steps, waving sort of tentatively.”
Which reminded Guido of this:
Ed Miliband, stud muffin.[…]
Labour have managed to get Jo Brand to do their latest election broadcast. Last time she endorsed the party, they went on to suffer their worst ever defeat…
Meanwhile, over on Facebook, this video has spread like the clap:
Robot Ed’s monotone repetitive “these strikes are wrong” hit from 2011 is having something of a renaissance.[…]
Ed Miliband was rather relaxed on the way back from Manchester yesterday following his manifesto launch.
So relaxed in fact, that he decided to have a good dig around on a crowded train:
At least he didn’t try to eat it: he’s made that mistake before.[…]
Even after Labour’s manifesto mea culpa about fiscal responsibility, Ed would still not say he thought Labour spent too much before the crisis. He had his audience cheering as he yelled “absolutely we were right to invest in those things”:
Miliband told the Labour manifesto launch:
“It was the financial crisis that caused the deficit…”