Friday, October 3, 2014

WATCH: Telly Focus Group Slam Ed’s Conference

The stars of Gogglebox, Channel 4’s televised focus group, have had their say on Ed Miliband’s performance at Labour conference. Dom and Steph in Kent were unimpressed with his position on English votes for English laws, Brighton hairdressers Chris and Stephen physically recoiled at his “together” soundbite, while mum and dad Andrew and Carolyn blamed Gordon Brown for “costing the Labour Party dearly”.

A resounding success across all sections of society, then…

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Farage v Miliband: Battle of the Bacon Butties

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Miliband Puts Twitter Whingers Above Our Boys

Ed Miliband is the only party leader who has refused to wear a Help for Heroes wristband on the front page of today’s Sun. Guido cannot understand why he couldn’t just tell Labour’s anti-Murdoch brigade that he was putting politics aside for a good cause. Anyway, in his absence, here is an artist’s impression of what it might have looked like if Miliband had swallowed his pride:

Click to enlarge.

That wouldn’t have been so hard, would it?

Miliband ‘Forgets’ to Mention the Deficit Two More Times

Jon Snow’s bruising interview with Ed Miliband last night is well worth a watch. The Labour leader resembled a human punchbag as Snow forensically tore his speech apart bit by bit. When asked “What do you think is the greatest issue facing the next government?” Miliband once again ‘forgot’ to mention the deficit:

EM: “What I laid out yesterday is a plan to say we’re gonna make this country work once again for working people. Whether on the minimum wage, or the health service, or apprenticeships, or housing.”

JS: “What about the deficit?”

EM: [pause] “The deficit’s an important issue.”

JS: “Well you forgot to mention it. That’s the second time, two days running.”

There is also no mention of the deficit in Labour’s new Party Political Broadcast, released last night. It’s a good thing this interview was carried out in a hospital, Miliband needed to be patched up afterwards…

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Disabled Delegates at Miliband Speech Moved From Front Row

Labour bosses are facing allegations that they ejected disabled delegates from their front row seats before Ed Miliband’s speech yesterday to make way for more telegenic members. Bernadette Horton, who walks with a crutch, reportedly tripped and fell as she was moved from her chair. Bernadette told the Morning Star she was told by stewards the seats were for disabled attendees, but was made to leave anyway to make way for “bright young things” to shake Miliband’s hand:

“As I was going up the stairs I just lost my footing and fell. I was really upset and shaken. The people in suits saw this but didn’t say anything. I said ‘if you’re Labour you should be ashamed. We’re like pariahs in our own party. It has to stop.”

Who made Bernadette move from her seat?

Burnham’s Barnstorming Leadership Bid

As if Miliband’s week couldn’t get any worse, ambitious Andy Burnham has just managed not one but two standing ovations in a very well-received speech in the Labour conference hall:

 Imagine that went down like a cup of cold sick in Miliband’s hotel room…

Labour Supporting Columnists Have Their Say on Ed’s Speech

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

WATCH: Ed Miliband Pet Shop Boys Remix

Gareth Can’t Decide Between Yellow and Red

Poor due diligence from Labour speechwriters on Gareth from IT, the man Ed spent a large portion of his speech talking about meeting. It turns out he voted LibDem at the last election. Here he is unable to decide between yellow and red:

‘Elizabeth’, another of the many people who have met Ed Miliband and gone on to feature in his speeches, meanwhile says she is keeping an open mind about who she is voting for next year. Obviously ‘Colin’ does not have a vote next time, given he is no longer with us. He died shortly after his conversation with Ed, but not before speaking in perfect soundbites.  The personal touch doesn’t seem to be working…

 


Seen Elsewhere

Comply or Die at Grauniad | MediaGuido
Labour Beats UKIP in South Yorkshire | LabourList
Mock the Week’s Weak Comedy | Nigel Farage
Can Jim Murphy Save Scottish Labour? | Guardian
There is Still Appetite for the Westminster Lunch | Jon Craig
Labour Turn Their Backs on Jewish Community | Dan Hodges
Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
Second Scotland Poll Suggests Labour Wipeout | Times
Paedo Probe Boss Urged to Quit | Sun
Keynesian Tories Won’t Eliminate Deficit | Tim Montgomerie


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Zac Goldsmith: “The hon. Gentleman might like to know that today’s Guido Fawkes quote of the day is the one on drug laws that we have heard cited by a number of hon. Members.”

Mike Hancock: “I am delighted to hear that Guido Fawkes is talking about something other than me.”



“Digger” Murdoch says:

Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,555 other followers