Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Disabled Delegates at Miliband Speech Moved From Front Row

Labour bosses are facing allegations that they ejected disabled delegates from their front row seats before Ed Miliband’s speech yesterday to make way for more telegenic members. Bernadette Horton, who walks with a crutch, reportedly tripped and fell as she was moved from her chair. Bernadette told the Morning Star she was told by stewards the seats were for disabled attendees, but was made to leave anyway to make way for “bright young things” to shake Miliband’s hand:

“As I was going up the stairs I just lost my footing and fell. I was really upset and shaken. The people in suits saw this but didn’t say anything. I said ‘if you’re Labour you should be ashamed. We’re like pariahs in our own party. It has to stop.”

Who made Bernadette move from her seat?

Burnham’s Barnstorming Leadership Bid

As if Miliband’s week couldn’t get any worse, ambitious Andy Burnham has just managed not one but two standing ovations in a very well-received speech in the Labour conference hall:

 Imagine that went down like a cup of cold sick in Miliband’s hotel room…

Labour Supporting Columnists Have Their Say on Ed’s Speech

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

WATCH: Ed Miliband Pet Shop Boys Remix

Gareth Can’t Decide Between Yellow and Red

Poor due diligence from Labour speechwriters on Gareth from IT, the man Ed spent a large portion of his speech talking about meeting. It turns out he voted LibDem at the last election. Here he is unable to decide between yellow and red:

‘Elizabeth’, another of the many people who have met Ed Miliband and gone on to feature in his speeches, meanwhile says she is keeping an open mind about who she is voting for next year. Obviously ‘Colin’ does not have a vote next time, given he is no longer with us. He died shortly after his conversation with Ed, but not before speaking in perfect soundbites.  The personal touch doesn’t seem to be working…

 

Ed and Justine’s Awkward Post-Speech Kiss

The traditional post-speech kiss didn’t go quite to plan:

With a small amount of convincing, Justine finally gave him a peck:

Conference would not have been complete without a high quality awkward Ed moment…

Theme From Brother, Slogan From Obama, Jokes From Blair


Finally a sign that David Axelrod is actually doing some work for Ed Miliband? It wasn’t just the Labour leader’s top line, “Together we can”, that was a clunkier rip off of Obama. Miliband then told the conference hall “For Labour this election is about you”, lifted straight from Obama’s stump speeches in which he told voters; “This election is not about me. It’s about you.” Labour are paying Axelrod a six figure sum for second hand goods…

While every politician tries to mimic Obama these days, it’s a bit harsh of Ed to quote his stabbed brother. “On your own” was a David Miliband line repeated by Ed as a warning of what would happen unless people vote for him. It’s what David tried in 2008 when he said “unless government is on your side you end up on your own”. At the time Cameron described this as “one of the most arrogant things I’ve heard a politician say”. So that’s the slogan as well as the theme that he’s lifted. 

And he wasn’t done there. Miliband also pinched his opening gag from Tony Blair’s speech to Labour conference in 2006, almost word for word. Then Blair said:

“I know I look a lot older. That’s what being leader of the Labour Party does to you. Actually, looking round some of you look a lot older.”

Today Ed said:

“Since I was here 4 years ago, I feel wiser. I feel older. A lot older! But hang on, some of you lot look older too.”

So much for no more borrowing…

Guido’s Fashion Tips: What the Milibands Were Wearing

justine

Justine is wearing a fuchsia pink outfit with a black belt squeezing her middle. According to last night’s Standard claret is the colour for autumn – a shade of proletarian Pinot? “No f**king idea” who the dress is by, a Labour spokesman tells Guido.

UPDATE: Mrs Miliband was wearing Zara and Ed a Spencer Hart suit.

WATCH: Sons of Brown Blank Forgotten Gordon

Ed Miliband thanked just about every Labour member who knocked on a door for the Better Together campaign yesterday, everyone except one Gordon Brown. Surely Ed Balls would have a kind word for his old master? Speaking to Iain Dale on LBC, the Shadow Chancellor awkwardly admitted he hadn’t even picked up the phone to say ‘thanks’.

The poor old Prime Mentalist is nowhere to be seen in Manchester…


Seen Elsewhere

Revealed: Guido Fawkes Anniversary Dinner Guestlist | Peter Oborne
More Owen Jones Errors | Michael Ezra
Why Should Men Get Equal Maternity Leave? | Laura Keynes
Dentists Have Last Laugh Over Sneering Keynes | FT
Why’s Clegg Giving Men Paternity Leave? | Conservative Women
Cam Cannot Stem EU Immigration | David Keighley
9 Mansion Tax Questions for Ed Balls | TPA
Politicians are Lying to You About Immigration | Alex Wickham
Give Journalists Public Interest Defence in Law | Guardian
Cameron is Going to Have to Deal With UKIP | Dan Hodges
Opinions on Key Issues By Constituency | Red Box


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Chris Bryant talks to the Times Diary about a famous gay actor:

“I don’t think I’ve had sex with him. He says we had sex in Clapham. I’m fairly certain I’ve never had sex south of the river”



Progressive Inclusion Champion says:

Great to hear Carswell call for inclusive policies and that UKIP must stand for first and second generation immigrants as much as the English.


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