Friday, October 31, 2014

POLL: 2p or Not 2p: Did Ed Give the Beggar Tuppence?

It sure looks like a copper.

Guido will let the readers decide, but it’s sure as hell not a fiver…

UPDATE:

5 Ways This Photo Op Could Have Gone Any Worse

  1. He could have stolen the money from the pot.
  2. He could have called her a bigot.
  3. He could have kicked her.
  4. She could have offered him a bacon sandwich.
  5. She could have told him she’s voting UKIP.

All in all, went pretty well then…

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Scottish Shadow Minister: “We are in a Dreadful Position”

Shadow Deputy Leader of the House and Scottish Labour MP Thomas Docherty couldn’t have timed these comments on Wato any better to help out his leader:

“The state that the Labour party is in right now is we are in a dreadful position. And we’ve got to be honest about ourselves. We have very low esteem with the electorate. The electorate looks at us and has no idea what our polices are. We have a moribund party in Scotland that seems to think that infighting is more important than campaigning. And we have a membership that is ageing and inactive. We can return to be the grown-up party that wants to be in government or we can self-indulge like a throwback to the 1980s and watch our party implode, the SNP win again, the Tories win again, and have another referendum.”

Hope Ed enjoys his fundraising dinner with Scottish Labour in Glasgow tonight…

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Lipman Leaves Labour

Actress, comedian and lifelong Labour voter Maureen Lipman has written a blistering article for this week’s Standpoint magazine, eviscerating Ed Miliband and declaring: “come election day, I shall give my vote to another party. Almost any other party. Until my party is once more led by mensches”. Lipman explains:

“For the first time in five decades, I shall not be voting Labour. I have always been a socialist and I believe in the principles of socialism. I have stood on the hustings beside Neil Kinnock and canvassed for my Aunt Rita in her constituency in Hull… I still believe that, until the Iraq debacle, Tony Blair did great work to restore the party’s fortunes. I still thumb through Tony Benn’s diaries with a fond smile and I am Alan Johnson’s number one fan as a politician, a writer and a humane human being. I have all the time in the world for Margaret Beckett and still admire Frank Field. I rather liked David Miliband and have a sneaking suspicion he may return strengthened by his time out in the real world. But this lot? The Chuka Harman Burnham Hunt Balls brigade? I can’t, in all seriousness, go into a booth and put my mark on any one of them.”

Lipman goes on to chastise Miliband for knifing his brother: “Ed Miliband’s leadership coup was as biblical as anything in the book of Genesis, although the unions probably had less sway in those days”, piling into him for his bacon sandwich hypocrisy and his stance on Palestine, concluding: “I’m an actress, Ed, and I am often commended for my timing. Frankly, my dear, yours sucks”. The very quotable piece is worth reading in full here. Brutal…

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Oi, Ed, Shut Up You Slaaaaag
VOTE: Who is More In Touch: Boy George or Danny Dyer?

Who is more in touch with public opinion: Boy George or Danny Dyer?

In scenes reminiscent of Malcolm Tucker’s Zeitgeist tapes in the Thick of It, Ed Miliband revealed to Danny Dyer at the Attitude awards this week that he “researches” Eastenders online to keep up to date, even though he doesn’t watch the show. A source tells the Sun:

“[Ed] immediately made a big point of saying he knew a lot about the show. Then he started saying how the character of Martin Fowler has had three different actors playing him and how Ben Mitchell’s character has had five. Danny was a bit confused so asked him if watches the show. Ed shook his head and said, ‘No, I don’t have time any more but I’ve been doing a lot of research about it online’.”

Soap hard man Danny later reflected: “It was all a bit too heavy for me. I had to sit the f*** down.” Perhaps he could use the experience on the next series of “Danny Dyer’s Deadliest Men”. But who is more in touch with reality?

Voting open until Close of Play…

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

McBride: “Labour Must Be Willing to Change Its Leader”

Kremlinologists will enjoy Damian McBride’s article in the Times this morning. He says Wee Dougie Alexander has been sidelined and the paranoia from Team Ed about Andy Burnham’s motives has seen the Shadow Heath Secretary exiled too:

“Douglas Alexander, one of the leader’s few confidants, now finds himself ignored, clinging to his role of election co-ordinator in title alone. Less than 30 weeks to polling day, and no one is actually managing Labour’s campaign; it’s certainly a novel approach… instead of Mr Burnham being handed the lead role in a campaign geared around the NHS he finds himself in internal exile”

McBride concludes that Ed has to go, if he can’t change:

“before Labour can even think about fighting that campaign effectively — it must address the question of its leader and how he manages the top of the party. If Mr Miliband continues to operate in isolation for the next seven months, refusing to listen and treating senior colleagues like strangers or rivals, Labour will lose. To avoid that, either Labour must be willing to change its leader, or its leader must be willing to change himself.”

Ed should listen to Mr McBride – he’s spent plenty of time around isolationist Labour leaders who refuse to listen…

Friday, October 10, 2014

Jack Straw Pandas to Miliband’s Critics

Jack Straw was meant to go on telly to defend Ed Miliband and Labour. It didn’t go very well.

Especially when he admitted “I didn’t vote for him, I was a sceptic”, and flagged  up that “I know people say he has got panda eyes and strange lips.” Thankfully the Express had already made the graphic…

UPDATE: Miliband takes the fight to the media in Heywood and Middleton:

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Labour Panic Sets In

First it was the grandees, now it’s the grassroots. LabourList have flipped out about the often denied, yet clearly obvious, 35% strategy that Labour seem hell bent on pursuing. Four polls in a row have them dipping well below 35%  with the Tories out in front:

“So is Labour pursuing a core vote strategy? Compared to what’s on offer at the moment I wish we had a core vote strategy. At the moment we have a “take much of our core vote for granted strategy.

Labour needs to prove that it’s on the side of Britain’s forgotten millions…

At the moment, those millions must still look at Labour (and the rest of the political establishment) and wonder what on earth – and who on earth – we are for.”

Guido is going to kick back with a beer and enjoy the show. There are few blood sports more exhilarating than a pre-election Labour freak out…

Vorderman Teases Ed to His Face about Forgetting Deficit

Miliband might have thought he was on safe ground at the Mirror’s Pride of Britain awards last night, but he still ended up cringing in front of all his close friends like Yvette Cooper, Douglas Alexander and Ed Balls.

Sitting amongst an audience of hundreds of volunteers and media types, along with the PM, Ed did not appear to enjoy Carol Vorderman’s introduction. Welcoming them both, the sexy maths minx quipped something along the lines of: “Good job I had an autocue for that bit. Might be a lesson for you there Ed.” To make matters worse for Miliband, the largely non-political audience of celebs seemed to get it and loved it. Guido understands that collective wincing to be known as ‘cut through’.

Monday, October 6, 2014

#SaveEd: Et Tu, Alan?
Johnson Allies Plot to Knife Miliband Before Election

Yesterday’s post-conference YouGov/Sunday Times poll put the Tories two points ahead of Labour and had Miliband personally trailing Cameron by 41 points. It clearly didn’t go unnoticed among friends of Alan Johnson, whom the Telegraph today reports are plotting to help mount a leadership bid to oust Ed before the election. Apparently “the rebels hope to convince him to stand if disaffection grows over the coming months while also building up enough support inside the party to convince Mr Miliband to stand aside”. For Alan is an honourable man…

The list of suspects is long. In the weekend papers Lord Gulan Noon slammed Miliband’s mansion tax as “hopeless and desperate”, Lord Levy described it as “totally inappropriate”, and donor John Mills said it would cause “all sorts of problems”. An anonymous Shadow Cabinet briefer sniped at Team Ed: “they are in the ideas business, the rest of us are in the winning-votes business”. Even Prezza piled in, attacking Ed as “far too timid” and saying of his policies “nothing sticks in my mind”. Calling all members of the Don’t Unseat Ed Miliband Association: code red…


Seen Elsewhere

Comply or Die at Grauniad | MediaGuido
Labour Beats UKIP in South Yorkshire | LabourList
Mock the Week’s Weak Comedy | Nigel Farage
Can Jim Murphy Save Scottish Labour? | Guardian
There is Still Appetite for the Westminster Lunch | Jon Craig
Labour Turn Their Backs on Jewish Community | Dan Hodges
Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
Second Scotland Poll Suggests Labour Wipeout | Times
Paedo Probe Boss Urged to Quit | Sun
Keynesian Tories Won’t Eliminate Deficit | Tim Montgomerie


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