Thursday, September 25, 2014

Miliband Puts Twitter Whingers Above Our Boys

Ed Miliband is the only party leader who has refused to wear a Help for Heroes wristband on the front page of today’s Sun. Guido cannot understand why he couldn’t just tell Labour’s anti-Murdoch brigade that he was putting politics aside for a good cause. Anyway, in his absence, here is an artist’s impression of what it might have looked like if Miliband had swallowed his pride:

Click to enlarge.

That wouldn’t have been so hard, would it?

Miliband ‘Forgets’ to Mention the Deficit Two More Times

Jon Snow’s bruising interview with Ed Miliband last night is well worth a watch. The Labour leader resembled a human punchbag as Snow forensically tore his speech apart bit by bit. When asked “What do you think is the greatest issue facing the next government?” Miliband once again ‘forgot’ to mention the deficit:

EM: “What I laid out yesterday is a plan to say we’re gonna make this country work once again for working people. Whether on the minimum wage, or the health service, or apprenticeships, or housing.”

JS: “What about the deficit?”

EM: [pause] “The deficit’s an important issue.”

JS: “Well you forgot to mention it. That’s the second time, two days running.”

There is also no mention of the deficit in Labour’s new Party Political Broadcast, released last night. It’s a good thing this interview was carried out in a hospital, Miliband needed to be patched up afterwards…

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Disabled Delegates at Miliband Speech Moved From Front Row

Labour bosses are facing allegations that they ejected disabled delegates from their front row seats before Ed Miliband’s speech yesterday to make way for more telegenic members. Bernadette Horton, who walks with a crutch, reportedly tripped and fell as she was moved from her chair. Bernadette told the Morning Star she was told by stewards the seats were for disabled attendees, but was made to leave anyway to make way for “bright young things” to shake Miliband’s hand:

“As I was going up the stairs I just lost my footing and fell. I was really upset and shaken. The people in suits saw this but didn’t say anything. I said ‘if you’re Labour you should be ashamed. We’re like pariahs in our own party. It has to stop.”

Who made Bernadette move from her seat?

Burnham’s Barnstorming Leadership Bid

As if Miliband’s week couldn’t get any worse, ambitious Andy Burnham has just managed not one but two standing ovations in a very well-received speech in the Labour conference hall:

 Imagine that went down like a cup of cold sick in Miliband’s hotel room…

Labour Supporting Columnists Have Their Say on Ed’s Speech

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

WATCH: Ed Miliband Pet Shop Boys Remix

Gareth Can’t Decide Between Yellow and Red

Poor due diligence from Labour speechwriters on Gareth from IT, the man Ed spent a large portion of his speech talking about meeting. It turns out he voted LibDem at the last election. Here he is unable to decide between yellow and red:

‘Elizabeth’, another of the many people who have met Ed Miliband and gone on to feature in his speeches, meanwhile says she is keeping an open mind about who she is voting for next year. Obviously ‘Colin’ does not have a vote next time, given he is no longer with us. He died shortly after his conversation with Ed, but not before speaking in perfect soundbites.  The personal touch doesn’t seem to be working…

 

Ed and Justine’s Awkward Post-Speech Kiss

The traditional post-speech kiss didn’t go quite to plan:

With a small amount of convincing, Justine finally gave him a peck:

Conference would not have been complete without a high quality awkward Ed moment…

Theme From Brother, Slogan From Obama, Jokes From Blair


Finally a sign that David Axelrod is actually doing some work for Ed Miliband? It wasn’t just the Labour leader’s top line, “Together we can”, that was a clunkier rip off of Obama. Miliband then told the conference hall “For Labour this election is about you”, lifted straight from Obama’s stump speeches in which he told voters; “This election is not about me. It’s about you.” Labour are paying Axelrod a six figure sum for second hand goods…

While every politician tries to mimic Obama these days, it’s a bit harsh of Ed to quote his stabbed brother. “On your own” was a David Miliband line repeated by Ed as a warning of what would happen unless people vote for him. It’s what David tried in 2008 when he said “unless government is on your side you end up on your own”. At the time Cameron described this as “one of the most arrogant things I’ve heard a politician say”. So that’s the slogan as well as the theme that he’s lifted. 

And he wasn’t done there. Miliband also pinched his opening gag from Tony Blair’s speech to Labour conference in 2006, almost word for word. Then Blair said:

“I know I look a lot older. That’s what being leader of the Labour Party does to you. Actually, looking round some of you look a lot older.”

Today Ed said:

“Since I was here 4 years ago, I feel wiser. I feel older. A lot older! But hang on, some of you lot look older too.”

So much for no more borrowing…


Seen Elsewhere

#TM4PM: It’s On | Speccie
Path to Defeat Obvious for Both Labour and Tories | Rafael Behr
It’s Boris v May | Sun
Farage is Outflanking the Tories | Guardian
Boris is Right About Grammar Schools | Conservative Women
‘Obsolete’ Cable | Speccie
Why are Tories so Upbeat? | Alex Wickham
Clear Public Interest in Newmark Sting | Mirror
Boris Invites Farage to Join Tories | Guardian
RAF Too Run Down to Fight Islamic State | Con Coughlin
Osborne’s Personal Cuts Regime | Quentin Letts


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


David Cameron on political promiscuity…

“On May 7 you could go to bed with Nigel Farage and wake up with Ed Miliband. Not one bit of that works for me.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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