Tim Walker to the Mail on Sunday

A little birdie tells Guido that pugnacious diarist Tim Walker, formerly editor of the Telegraph’s retired Mandrake column and most recently found at the Mirror, is off to the Mail on Sunday. Walker’s inside track on the world of hard-partying aristos is rivalled only by the daily’s Sebastian Shakespeare, and is probably better suited at the MoS than a redtop. Guido hopes this means Tim’s Twitter claws will be back out and we can look forward to some more outstandingly catty bitch fights with the Times Diary…

Order of the OTT: Laurie Penny Hams It Up

Guido has not awarded an Order of the OTT for a while. This entry however, up on the New Statesman website this morning, was just too good to pass up:

Readers can have one guess who the author is…

Laurie Penny’s steaming hot take goes on to suggest that an intoxicated David Cameron’s alleged porcine molestation is somehow symbolic of the class struggle power dynamic, her psycho-analysis concluding that the future Prime Minister’s penetrated pig is a metaphor for the country he would go on to run:

“Power and money are accessed through the back door, or, as it may be, the pig’s mouth, and as with any kink, the eroticism isn’t about the act, but about what the act symbolises. It’s about humiliation, about control, about power play. What might the young swain have been thinking as he unzipped? What went through his head? If you ask me, I’ll bet he was thinking: Soon. Someday soon, I will do this to the whole bloody country.”

Talk about hamming it up…

11 Policies Splitting Corbyn’s Shadow Cabinet

This remarkable Sunday Politics interview with Blairite Corbyn Shadow Cabinet member Lord Falconer is well worth a watch:

The full list of policies on which Falconer and Corbyn/McDonnell disagree:

  • Europe
  • Nato
  • Trident
  • Bank of England independence
  • Academies
  • Benefit cap
  • Nationalising the National Grid
  • Nationalising the banks
  • Iraq
  • Syria
  • Northern Ireland

How long before Corbyn is facing his first resignation…

Read Guido’s Column in the Sun on Sunday Online

Boris and Osborne trade insults in Guido’s jam-packed Sun on Sunday column today. Read BoJo’s close-to-the-knuckle “hooker” jibe and the rest of today’s column for free here. Don’t miss out on:

CORBYN

  • Corbyn’s Commie Royal Wedding: toasted Wills & Kate from commie mug and watched Russian TV instead

BI

  • Don’t miss out on the best bit of fun from LibDem conference: a “bi-sexual flash mob”

DAVE

  • What will David Cameron be doing during Corbyn’s Labour party conference?
  • He’s the Mann: Optimistic Tories approach Labour MP John Mann amid defection speculation
  • Corbyn told to carry out an immediate reshuffle over jobs for the boys row
  • Corbyn told: “Swap Andy Burnham and Angela Eagle now. Go on, swap them! I dare you!”
  • Why UKIP upset Doncaster’s local pie shop
  • Guido sends his best to Sir Nicholas Soames
  • First Kinnock, Straw and Prescott… now there is a new Red Prince in Westminster

You can read it all today, for free, only on SunNation

Dear Deidre: Jezza and Diane Edition

Superb.

BBC Trust Grilled Over Deaf Tory Smear

Where was BBC trustee Richard Ayre when Guido’s story about the Beeb smear of Alec Shelbrooke broke? Waxing lyrical at the DCMS committee about how Auntie “operates to higher standards than other broadcasters” and that “the trust requires accuracy” online. Unfortunately for him Tory MP Jason McCartney had clearly been checking Twitter:

“It’s a slam dunk case.”

Please, tell us more about your “higher standards”…

Sky News on Tom and Jerry’s #SandwichGate

Within an hour of Guido’s story, Jeremy “two bags” Corbyn and his sandwiches make Sky News:

“There are going to be stories in the papers about him basically taking sandwiches from the mouths of veterans…”

BBC Smear of Deaf Tory MP Goes Viral

The BBC and the rest of the lefty Twitter echo chamber are gleefully sending this picture of Tory MP Alec Shelbrooke viral. The nation’s broadcaster reckons he was asleep during last night’s debate on the Trade Union Bill:

The picture has been retweeted hundreds of times already. Just one problem: he was not asleep. That little thing you can see next to his ear is a speaker. Shelbrooke needed it to hear because he is partially deaf. He tells Guido:

“I am genuinely slightly deaf and struggle to hear. I had taken part in the debate and was trying to hear the wind ups. Seems a shame I get trolled due to being slightly deaf.”

Will the BBC apologise?

UPDATE: The Labour press team also shared the smear:

UPDATE II: This new picture from ITV’s Paul Brand proves Shelbrooke was awake:

UPDATE III: The Beeb offer their “heartfelt apologies”:

Telegraph Capitulate to Nutjobs

An enjoyably punchy headline above Jeremy Warner’s Telegraph piece today:

Cue Corbynistas boarding the outrage bus and demanding an apology. Warner stood his ground:

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Another Sexist Socialist: Skinner Mansplains to Emily Maitlis

Even Owen Jones is criticising Jeremy Corbyn over his failure to give top jobs to women. So it hasn’t helped Labour’s new women problem that Corbyn supporter Dennis Skinner and fellow bro-cialist lost it with Emily Maitlis on the BBC […]

+ READ MORE +

Corbyn Stormin’ Away From Sky News

Watch a grouchy Jezza walk away in silence from Sky’s Darren McCaffery last night, before bizarrely complaining “there are people bothering me“:

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Read Guido’s Sun on Sunday Column Online

Find out how the the Tories are planning to surprise Jeremy Corbyn at his first PMQs with a “wall of beards” in Guido’s Sun on Sunday column. Don’t miss out on:

CULTURAL

  • “Corbyn’s Cultural Revolution”: Team Jezza’s

[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Liam Fox shreds Cameron’s Calais scaremongering:

“Sad and disappointed to see our Prime Minister stoop to this level of scaremongering, especially as he knows the Calais agreement is nothing to do with the EU and agreed between the two govts”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Squandermania: Roof Not Fixed Squandermania: Roof Not Fixed
OSBORNE’S BROTHER STRUCK OFF: READ RULING, THREATENING EMAILS OSBORNE’S BROTHER STRUCK OFF: READ RULING, THREATENING EMAILS
HAPPY AS LARRY: SANDERS NEW GREEN PARTY SPOKESPERSON HAPPY AS LARRY: SANDERS NEW GREEN PARTY SPOKESPERSON
LABOUR CAMPAIGN CHIEF: “WE HAD NO STRATEGY” LABOUR CAMPAIGN CHIEF: “WE HAD NO STRATEGY”
CLEGG’S ASTRONOMICAL SPAD BILL HYPOCRISY CLEGG’S ASTRONOMICAL SPAD BILL HYPOCRISY
STRICTLY CYMRU DANCING: LEANNE WOOD’S WONDERFUL WALTZ STRICTLY CYMRU DANCING: LEANNE WOOD’S WONDERFUL WALTZ
LEAVE AHEAD WITH ICM LEAVE AHEAD WITH ICM
HAPPY ‘I HEART UNIONS’ DAY HAPPY ‘I HEART UNIONS’ DAY
CORBYN WEARS SPONSORS’ BADGE CORBYN WEARS SPONSORS’ BADGE
Open Minded Herbert’s Made His Mind Up Open Minded Herbert’s Made His Mind Up
Amazon’s Lawyers Prepare for Zombie Apocalypse Amazon’s Lawyers Prepare for Zombie Apocalypse
PMQs (Rap Version) PMQs (Rap Version)
Top Europhile Defects to Out Campaign Top Europhile Defects to Out Campaign
BARROSO: BRAKE WON’T PUT OFF MIGRANTS BARROSO: BRAKE WON’T PUT OFF MIGRANTS
PESTON OUT OF THE LOOP PESTON OUT OF THE LOOP
LABOUR’S CONSISTENT FLIP-FLOPPING ON SURVEILLANCE LABOUR’S CONSISTENT FLIP-FLOPPING ON SURVEILLANCE
UBER TRIES TO KILL HAILO UBER TRIES TO KILL HAILO
CALAMITY CORBYN’S COMICAL CAMPAIGN COCK-UP CALAMITY CORBYN’S COMICAL CAMPAIGN COCK-UP
PARLIAMENTARY PANCAKE RACE (INSERT MANDATORY TOSSER JOKE HERE) PARLIAMENTARY PANCAKE RACE (INSERT MANDATORY TOSSER JOKE HERE)
SADIQ LOSES IT WITH BBC JOURNALIST OVER TFL FARES SUMS SADIQ LOSES IT WITH BBC JOURNALIST OVER TFL FARES SUMS
FRENCH GOVERNMENT DISPUTES CAMERON ON CALAIS FRENCH GOVERNMENT DISPUTES CAMERON ON CALAIS
EX-LABOUR MINISTER COMES OUT FOR BREXIT EX-LABOUR MINISTER COMES OUT FOR BREXIT
EU GOING TO PAY FOR THAT? EU GOING TO PAY FOR THAT?
TORY MPS PAN CAM’S CALAIS SCAREMONGERING TORY MPS PAN CAM’S CALAIS SCAREMONGERING
LEAK: LANSMAN MOCKS “CLUELESS” UNITE CHIEF LEAK: LANSMAN MOCKS “CLUELESS” UNITE CHIEF
CARSWELL: “NOT GOING TO CRITICISE FELLOW EUROSCEPTICS” CARSWELL: “NOT GOING TO CRITICISE FELLOW EUROSCEPTICS”
SUNNY DAYS AHEAD FOR SCRAPBOOK SUNNY DAYS AHEAD FOR SCRAPBOOK
HOW MANY MPS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A SOAP DISPENSER? HOW MANY MPS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A SOAP DISPENSER?
KEN PREDICTS MCDONNELL WILL BE NEXT LABOUR LEADER KEN PREDICTS MCDONNELL WILL BE NEXT LABOUR LEADER
Don’t Criticise Fellow Brexiteers Don’t Criticise Fellow Brexiteers