Boris Ally Sir Simon Milton Dies

One of the key players in Team Boris has died. Sir Simon Milton, 49, was not just a Deputy Mayor, but Boris’s most senior appointed advisor. The extent of his influence over Boris was summed up by Tory uber-spinner Peter Bingle two months ago:

“Every successful political leader needs somebody who they can trust. Somebody who can translate ideas into policies. Somebody who is both loyal and effective. Boris Johnson is very fortunate to have Simon Milton. Last night at a dinner he dazzled the guests with his knowledge, intellect, political nouse and humour.

Simon is more popular with Labour council leaders than was ever the case with Ken. Thanks to Simon, Boris has a good chance of winning a second and final term in 2012. No other Tory would have a chance but then again Boris is no other Tory. The history books will be very generous about Simon’s contribution…”

Details from a London hospital are still sketchy tonight.  Developing…

Lembit for London

There is a LibDem establishment campaign to prevent Lembit Öpik becoming their candidate for London Mayor. This is a mistake. The LibDems are likely to be annihilated in the Mayoral race if they put forward a nonentity candidate.

With Lembit they will get media coverage in what will be a battle of strong personalities, without him they will be ignored. Like Boris and Ken, Lembit has single-name recognition, he is media friendly and will hold his own in hustings. If the LibDems choose anyone else they will be shooting themselves in the foot.

The Committee to Re-Elect de Pfeffle

A secret six strong team of the London Tory players, under Hammersmith and Fulham council’s Stephen Greenhalgh, has been tasked with warming up the fight to keep Boris in City Hall. Officially it doesn’t exist and it’s business as usual, but it’s limbering into gear. With fourteen months to go, the Committee to Re-Elect de Pfeffle have launched an attack site on their old friend Ken:

Guido’s ear on the committee seems confident that despite the anti-Tory and cuts rhetoric their boy is going to be fine. Though they are expecting a surge of support for Ken from “the haters”, traditional Tory support for Boris in 2008 wasn’t overwhelming due to the suspicion he was a mere TV clown. Though it hasn’t been the most glittering mayoralty, they are adamant that he has proved that bunch wrong. It seems the tactic is to get that lot on board and quickly. Get ready to hear a lot about “Bikes, Bikes and Strikes”…

+ + + Bonking Boris Cleared over Complaint + + +

Mayor Boris has been cleared of any wrongdoing regarding the hiring of Helen “Mini-Cheddars” Macintyre, the mother of his love-child, after her then husband made a substantial donation. The complaint from Labour was chucked out.

Boris’s shagging is barely a story anymore…

Boris Faces Mistress Scandal Probe

The ongoing mystery surrounding Boris’s mistress, her then boyfriend’s £80,000 donation and her subsequent landing of a job as an Olympic fundraiser just got a little more serious for the wayward Mayor.

Boris is now facing an official investigation regarding Helen Macintyre, the mother of his love child and the latest “love of his life”, and why exactly she got her job. The Standard neatly summarises some awkward questions that need answering:

What are the claims Boris faces?

That he has breached several sections of the GLA code of conduct. This states he should never “improperly confer an advantage on any person”, “place yourself in situations where honesty and integrity may be questioned” or make any decision which affects the “financial position of… any person with whom you have a close association”. It also states that he must “make decisions on merit, including making appointments” and “indicate that you have a personal interest” when one arises.

Labour have triggered the investigation and smell blood after Boris’s election promise to end cronyism at City Hall, something that so damaged the last months of Ken’s regime, though it should be borne in mind that the post was unpaid. Still, not sure this one can be dismissed as an “inverted pyramid of piffle”…

UPDATE : Whilst we’re on the subject, Guido has been meaning to mention for some time that Helen Macintyre’s nickname at Edinburgh University – given to her by a boyfriend – was “mini-cheddars”.

Totty Watch : Boris Shows His Balls to Four Beautiful Women

With the news that Boris has been kicked out of his family home and is now living in a rented house down the road from his wife and kids, it seems he is not letting women get in the way of his day job. There was barely a sign of distraction when he met an extremely important visiting  international delegation yesterday:

Sometimes Guido wishes he could be the Mayor..

Red Ken Exposes Labour Hypocrisy

However much we suspect the integrity and word of politicians, rarely is there such a simple acid test of right and wrong. Labour’s selection for a candidate for Mayor of Tower Hamlets has been an utter mess resulting with many supporting the lefty independent Lutfur Rahman, who was deselected after his extremist links were exposed. These rogues included Labour’s candidate for the Mayor of London.

The Staggers reports that so far eight people have already been expelled from Labour for campaigning against the official candidate and Harman said:

“There is nobody else that is a Labour candidate for Tower Hamlets… if they are supporting somebody else, then they are opposing the Labour Party and you cannot be against a party and in it”

So will Labour live up to their famed hypocrisy and let this one go quietly? Are some animals more equal than others?

UPDATE : Smarkets have opened the betting on Tower Hamlets.

Shock (Not) : Ken Beats Oona

In about five minutes it will be announced Ken has beaten Oona King for the Labour London Mayoral Nomination.

Boris Vs. Ken Round II – risky strategy from the reds.

UPDATE: 10.05 – Confirmed.

LibDems Try To Hire Apprentice

Bad news for Lembit Opik – it seems that Cowley Street doesn’t have faith in his bid to be London Mayor. Much like the Tories were before Boris threw his hat in the ring, the LibDems are desperately seeking a […]

+ READ MORE +

Oona’s Open Invite

It seems struggling London Mayor wannabe Oona King is deploying a last ditch open-bar strategy. She tweets enthusiastically:

“YOU are invited to a party at campaign HQ on Wed 11, 6-8pm! Come down and meet me and the team and

[…]

+ READ MORE +

iKev Vs. Ken

Oona King’s bandwagon is gathering pace, her campaign team is certainly growing. She has taken on Kevin McKeever, a former Labour PPC, to run her logistics. Back in his student politics days Kevin was lucky to get away scot-free after […]

+ READ MORE +

+ + + Boris Beats Hippies + + +

The High Court has just ruled in favour of the Mayor of London who is trying to get the “peace” camp evicted from Parliament Square.

Developing…

UPDATE: The Mayor’s legal team said:

“In bringing this claim, the mayor does not

[…]

+ READ MORE +

TRUMP SINGS “WE’RE GONNA BUILD A WALL” TRUMP SINGS “WE’RE GONNA BUILD A WALL”
OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID
EDDIE IZZARD’S HOTEL BILLS NOT LAWFULLY DECLARED EDDIE IZZARD’S HOTEL BILLS NOT LAWFULLY DECLARED
POLITICAL PARTY RICHLIST POLITICAL PARTY RICHLIST
EU PLOTS TAX ID NUMBERS FOR EVERY EUROPEAN CITIZEN EU PLOTS TAX ID NUMBERS FOR EVERY EUROPEAN CITIZEN
MUNT ADMITS SHE DIDN’T DECLARE LOCAL CAMPAIGN TRANSPORT MUNT ADMITS SHE DIDN’T DECLARE LOCAL CAMPAIGN TRANSPORT
OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID
“Fat Cats For EU” “Fat Cats For EU”
“CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS “CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS
CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL
CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS
CAMERON’S AIRFARE FABLE CAMERON’S AIRFARE FABLE
TELEGRAPH BLOODBATH: NEW JOBS CULL UNDERWAY TELEGRAPH BLOODBATH: NEW JOBS CULL UNDERWAY
CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE
OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT
POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES
TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA
ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN
STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION
NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE
CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN
SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY
SADIQ RAISES EU FLAG ABOVE CITY HALL SADIQ RAISES EU FLAG ABOVE CITY HALL
SAJ ‘PRIVATELY SAID HE WANTED TO LEAVE’ SAJ ‘PRIVATELY SAID HE WANTED TO LEAVE’
CRICK CRICK’D CRICK CRICK’D
EU WANTS CULTURAL QUOTAS ON NETFLIX AND AMAZON PRIME EU WANTS CULTURAL QUOTAS ON NETFLIX AND AMAZON PRIME
LIBDEM WHO COMPLAINED TO POLICE ABOUT TORY ELECTION FRAUD BROKE SPENDING RULES LIBDEM WHO COMPLAINED TO POLICE ABOUT TORY ELECTION FRAUD BROKE SPENDING RULES
LABOUR WON’T ALLOW CONFERENCE DELEGATES TO SELF-IDENTIFY LABOUR WON’T ALLOW CONFERENCE DELEGATES TO SELF-IDENTIFY
WORST BEATLES TRIBUTE BAND EVER WORST BEATLES TRIBUTE BAND EVER