While the Mayor’s Away, the Candidates Can Play

Boris deputy and wannabe mayor Stephen Greenhalgh waited until his boss was out of the country to have an extraordinary pop about tube fares. Team BoJo are said to be furious at Greenhalgh’s intervention pledging a cut should he take over, which is about as subtle as a Boston blizzard. Already the Standard are reporting it as a direct challenge, “raising questions over current fares” and noting Greenhalgh’s naked attempt to “seize the initiative… in the battle to succeed Boris”Greenhalgh’s growing list of enemies are already calling him the ‘hands-on mayor‘…

Hillary Clinton Welcomes Boris Home to USA

The next PM and President?

After a shaky start, it seems the Mayor’s East Coast tour is finally beginning to get going: ie he’s getting the pictures he wants. Let’s hope Hillary can forgive what Boris once said of her:

“She’s got dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital… represents, on the face of it, everything I came into politics to oppose: not just a general desire to raise taxes and nationalize things, but an all-round purse-lipped political correctness.”

He’s got more in common with her husband…

Quote of the Day

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Boris Backs Brexit (Possibly)

In every modern Tory leadership election the candidate who has made the most anti-EU noises has won. Ergo, here is Boris’ intervention in this week’s Time magazine:

“I think Brexit is possible … [Britain] would very rapidly come to an alternative arrangement that protected our basic trading interests. I must be clear. I think there would be a pretty testy, scratchy period … [but] it wouldn’t be disastrous.”

He’s said it before, but this time he’s said it a little louder. Over to you, Theresa…

Boris of Mesopotamia

Despite strict Foreign Office advice not to travel to the region, a Briton with Turkish roots has posed with a Kalashnikov in northern Iraq. Boris has travelled to the region to support the fight against ISIS. Allahu, er, cripes, akbar!

Boris Says Balls Looks Like He Has a Finger Up His Bum

balls

Nifty work by The Tab, who have recorded Bojo charming a Tory party fundraiser by telling them Ed Balls has:

“the air of a pop-eyed man who looks like he’s undergoing an unexpected prostate examination.”

A line he has shamelessly nicked from Anna Soubry…

Paxo Denies Claims He Will Run for Mayor

Jeremy Paxman has shot down the Times‘ suggestion that he is considering running to replace Boris as the Tory candidate for Mayor of London:

Though the invitation to see the PM suggests it wasn’t entirely fantasy…

Tory Mayoral Candidate’s Nude Pics

“I’m a complete rags to riches boy,” Nick Boles’ old flatmate Ivan Massow tells the Standard today, as he announces his intention to be the Tory candidate for London mayor in 2016. Presumably these photos were taken before he could afford clothes…

WATCH: Boris Tells Labour to Stick It

Boris was a little short tempered at Mayor’s Question Time yesterday after being quizzed by expenses cheat Andrew Dismore. Ohhhhh.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Lammy: Labour Won’t Win in 2015

Election mastermind David Lammy has said Ed will not win a majority in 2015:

“I don’t want to knock Ed personally. I actually think it’s a whole team issue. I think that, in the end, all of the major players

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Morning Sadiq: Please Don’t Read This Behind the Wheel

If Sadiq Khan could please wait until he’s driven to work to read this morning’s Times and Mailthat would be appreciated by other road users.

He can however listen to BBC London report on the fact his driving […]

+ READ MORE +

LISTEN: Boris Can’t Name Tory Clacton Candidate

The Mayor of London has evidently never seen Bread. Any connoisseur of eighties sitcoms knows that the Tory candidate in Clacton is actor Giles Watling, but not Boris on LBC this morning:

BJ: “We’ve got a fantastic guy called… bloody…

[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Labour’s Austin Mitchell muses on the campaign:

“What’s the problem? No use pointing at the leader. Too late to change and unnecessary for Miliband is doing well at Question Time. His problem is connecting with the real world. He doesn`t speak people and his protective team of naive kids are playing West Wing rather than letting the leader relate to real people. We could point at the party, shrunk in numbers and enthusiasm because everything, from policy formulation to candidate selection, comes top down rather than bubbling up from below so campaigning becomes the opium of members deprived of any real role, though they`re not even sure what they’re campaigning about, with or for, but its role is marginal.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Page 3 Totty Back in Print Page 3 Totty Back in Print
Martin Freeman on Private Healthcare Martin Freeman on Private Healthcare
GREENPEACE POLL: MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WANT FRACKING GREENPEACE POLL: MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WANT FRACKING
#Guido4Bucks #Guido4Bucks
FANCY DEPORTING FARAGE? FANCY DEPORTING FARAGE?
GUARDIAN ELECTION DEBATE MASH-UP GUARDIAN ELECTION DEBATE MASH-UP

Chuka Flashback: People Like Zero-Hours Contracts Chuka Flashback: People Like Zero-Hours Contracts
SMART METER PROGRAMME’S DIGITAL ACTIVITY WASTE SMART METER PROGRAMME’S DIGITAL ACTIVITY WASTE
MASK SLIPS FROM GREENPEACE ‘HEALTH CHARITY’ FRONT MASK SLIPS FROM GREENPEACE ‘HEALTH CHARITY’ FRONT
PM Gets Last Word On Thursday PM Gets Last Word On Thursday
FOXY BARONESS’ WEBSITE BORKED FOXY BARONESS’ WEBSITE BORKED
Labour: The Party of Benefits Labour: The Party of Benefits
GOVERNMENT DIGITAL SERVICE BEATS MICROSOFT INTO SUBMISSION GOVERNMENT DIGITAL SERVICE BEATS MICROSOFT INTO SUBMISSION
EUROPOL CHIEF: SNAPCHAT GREATEST TERRORIST THREAT EUROPOL CHIEF: SNAPCHAT GREATEST TERRORIST THREAT
Sky News Ballot Ballad Sky News Ballot Ballad
WATCH: UKIP Pledge Card Revealed WATCH: UKIP Pledge Card Revealed
Mini Wars Mini Wars
OZZIE NUMPTY EMAILS DAVID CAMERON’S PASSPORT NUMBER TO ASIAN FOOTBALLERS OZZIE NUMPTY EMAILS DAVID CAMERON’S PASSPORT NUMBER TO ASIAN FOOTBALLERS
Hell? Yes Hell? Yes
Cameron’s Last Speech in Downing Street (Before the Election) Cameron’s Last Speech in Downing Street (Before the Election)
Free Sun Advertising On the BBC Free Sun Advertising On the BBC
Downing Street Fighting Like Cats and Dogs Downing Street Fighting Like Cats and Dogs
Lucy Powell Falls Apart Under Questioning Lucy Powell Falls Apart Under Questioning
Feminist Jazz Hands Explained Feminist Jazz Hands Explained
WALTER MITTY CV OF ANTI-FRACKING CANDIDATE WALTER MITTY CV OF ANTI-FRACKING CANDIDATE
Cassetteboy v Cameron and Farage Cassetteboy v Cameron and Farage
MICROSOFT SHAKES DOWN PUBLIC SECTOR FOR DOSH MICROSOFT SHAKES DOWN PUBLIC SECTOR FOR DOSH
WATCH: Toby Young Skewers Labour Zero Hours Contract Attack Line WATCH: Toby Young Skewers Labour Zero Hours Contract Attack Line
MAIL TRICKED INTO QUOTING BATMAN FILM IN PLANE CRASH COVERAGE MAIL TRICKED INTO QUOTING BATMAN FILM IN PLANE CRASH COVERAGE
ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS