Thursday, January 22, 2015

Boris of Mesopotamia

Friday, December 12, 2014

Boris Says Balls Looks Like He Has a Finger Up His Bum

Friday, November 28, 2014

Paxo Denies Claims He Will Run for Mayor

Jeremy Paxman has shot down the Times‘ suggestion that he is considering running to replace Boris as the Tory candidate for Mayor of London:

Though the invitation to see the PM suggests it wasn’t entirely fantasy…

Monday, November 24, 2014

Tory Mayoral Candidate’s Nude Pics

Thursday, November 20, 2014

WATCH: Boris Tells Labour to Stick It

Boris was a little short tempered at Mayor’s Question Time yesterday after being quizzed by expenses cheat Andrew Dismore. Ohhhhh.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Lammy: Labour Won’t Win in 2015

Election mastermind David Lammy has said Ed will not win a majority in 2015:

“I don’t want to knock Ed personally. I actually think it’s a whole team issue. I think that, in the end, all of the major players that contribute to the Labour message.. have a lot to do between now and the general election. A lot to do! 

I think that the next general election is going to be phenomenally close. I am not moving off my assumption, when I collapsed on to my sofa after the last general election with my wife and watched Nick Clegg and David Cameron walk into number 10, and that is we are in for a decade of either minority or coalition government. That was my general view [in 2010] there’s very little that’s shifted.”

The distancing of future Labour mayoral hopefuls from the current leadership has begun. Bad news for Team Ed favourite Sadiq Khan…

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Morning Sadiq: Please Don’t Read This Behind the Wheel

If Sadiq Khan could please wait until he’s driven to work to read this morning’s Times and Mailthat would be appreciated by other road users.

He can however listen to BBC London report on the fact his driving antics have been reported to the police:

For once Sadiq is not answering his phone to any media.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

LISTEN: Boris Can’t Name Tory Clacton Candidate

The Mayor of London has evidently never seen Bread. Any connoisseur of eighties sitcoms knows that the Tory candidate in Clacton is actor Giles Watling, but not Boris on LBC this morning:

BJ: “We’ve got a fantastic guy called… bloody… superb man… Stirling? Girling? Something like that. What’s he called? You tell me.”

NF: “Giles…”

BJ: “Giles… come on what is it again?”

NF: “Giles… the Bread actor? Remember Bread?”

BJ: “No. Come on stop sitting there like a great big fat Buddha and tell me the name of this guy.”

NF: “No need to get personal Mr Mayor… It’s Giles Watling.”

BJ: “Giles Watling, that’s right. I knew it. Something to do with ling. Tingaling.”

Close…

Monday, October 6, 2014

Meating of the Clans: Osbo and BoJo BBQ

Boris and Osborne have been having secret narrative-busting family barbecues. Apparently, we are all mi-steak-en to think the Chancellor and the Mayor are anything but best buddies without a leadership ribbing in sight. As revealed in yesterday’s Sun on Sunday, the Johnsons and the Osbornes broke bread over the summer at the Mayor’s Henley pad. Guido grilled both teams to find out what was really going on…

BBQ sauces close to the Chancellor says this is nothing new and there is “no hatchet to bury”. Meanwhile the Mayor’s people insist it is a “regular thing” and a “chance to catch up informally, away from Whitehall and their officials”, and that “they are friends”. This one has legs; delicious, flame-grilled legs.

Monday, September 22, 2014

David Lammy Pays for Brightness


Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


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